The Diary of Jane by Rick Castle
by qjhayes11
Summary: After a heartfelt confession and a huge fight, Jane leaves Boston while Maura heads abroad. Nine months later, Maura heads to New York to get her friend back. In this story Jane and Kate have known each other for years.
1. Chapter 1

**Castle, Rizzoli & Isles, crossover. May have some SVU references. **

**Jane and Maura have a massive fall out that results in a breaking of our favorite pseudo couple. This is Maura finding Jane to try to reconnect. If you like it, I'll keep it rolling but it's not my primary story and doesn't really have a placement in. Rizzles? oh yeah, baby. With a side of Caskett, hold the Rizzkett (sorry).**

**Authors note: It's just something that kept getting in the way of another story I was writing and My Muse refuses to let it go, so I thought I'd put it out there. Castle, Rizzoli & Isles Xover.**

It was raining in New York as Maura Isles climbed out of the yellow taxi that had carried her from Kennedy Airport. Her stylish black trench coat protected her expensive couture blouse and skirt from the rain as she paid the cabbie for the ride. He smiled and waved as she shut the door. He spun out into traffic with reckless abandon as was characteristic of most NYC drivers.

Maura watched as it disappeared in a sea of yellow cabs and black Lincolns. A NYPD police Impala flew passed her, sirens echoing off of the buildings and the lights flashing random patterns but that was New York, the city that never sleeps. Maura checked her watch, 3:30 PM.

She turned around and regarded the building in front of her. It was surrounded by police vehicles, patrol cars, unmarked Crown Victorias, and even a Crime Scene Van. Everything you'd expect to find in front of the New York Police Department's 12th Precinct. Maura looked up to see the multiple floors.

When she had booked the flight, it had been on a whim, a desire to reclaim what she had lost. Hell, it had even made sense to her. But now, staring up at the building, knowing what was waiting inside, she couldn't help but be intimidated. She could hear the husky voice that was not her own echoing in her head, _"You've come too far to chicken out now."_

_Yes, but what would that voice say in another ten minutes._ Maura steeled herself and walked through the front door. She was greeted at reception by a jovial old sergeant, "Can I help you, ma'am."

She forced a smile on to her face and pulled her badge from her purse, "Yes, I'm Dr. Maura Isles. Chief Medical Examiner for the Commonwealth of Massachusetts and I need directions to Homicide, please."

He gently took her badge and signed her in, "Do you know who you're going to see?"

"Yes." She said, but didn't elaborate further. He handed her back the badge and then handed her a visitor's label.

"Check in with Sergeant Beckett on arrival." He said, "Elevator to the third floor and straight ahead."

She affixed the sticker to her wet coat and smiled, "Thank you."

He nodded as she headed to the elevator.

Maura stepped in and as the doors shut, she reconsidered what she was doing for the eighty sixth time today alone. But the ride was short and she was no more certain when she stepped off than when she had gotten off the plane or stepped out of the cab, but her legs kept moving forward despite her uncertainty.

Detective Javier Esposito was trying for the third time to get his computer to open the emails from the latest victim of the murder case they were currently working. Again, his override was denied. He leaned back into his chair in frustration and ran his calloused hand through his almost nonexistent hair.

He decided to take a break when an extraordinarily beautiful woman dressed in clothing worth more than he and his partner's pensions combined walked in to the bull pen.

He eyed her carefully as she looked around. Long honey blond curls that were matted slightly from the rain framed a beautiful face. Her hazel eyes seemed tired and confused. Her trench coat covered a beautiful body with nice hips and full breasts. Legs that were well shaped and obviously maintained were enhanced by the four inch black stiletto heels she wore. The heels matched nicely with the tight black skirt and champagne silk shirt.

Her very appearance said money but somehow, he didn't see her as from Manhattan or New York City at all, for that matter. She looked around for a second before she settled on a desk. The desk belonged to Kate Beckett, his sergeant. But as she approached she turned away slightly. As she reached a hand out to Beckett's partner's desk, he knew he had act.

"Excuse me." He said sharply, "Please don't touch anything."

She drew her hand back but continued to stare at the picture on the desk. "I'm sorry. I was just looking for someone." She said.

He rose from his chair and walked toward her, "I'm detective Esposito. Can I help you?"

Her eyes broke away from the picture on the desk. When she looked at him that was when he noticed the tears. He grabbed the box of Kleenex of the desk. He knew better than to touch the prickly detective's desk but she could get over it.

He handed her one of the tissues and set the box in her lap, "Are you okay?"

"No, detective, I'm not." She said into the tissue. Her eyes wandered back to the picture.

Esposito waited for her to continue, she didn't. Her gaze never left the picture on the desk. He turned to look at it.

Beckett's partner was standing in a family portrait. In an instant he knew who she was staring at. He tensed at the revelation. He watched the woman in front of him with a new view. She was in pain, broken, her very will to live seemed to have ebbed. It was an eerily familiar sight.

He took a step back, "Sit here as long as you need." He said as he eased out the guest chair Rick Castle usually sat in.

He went back to his desk and picked up his phone.

* * *

Detective Sergeant Kate Beckett strode off the elevator with a purpose. Her fiancé and ever present shadow marched behind her, trying to talk some reason into her, "I'm just saying that you shouldn't go storming in there with guns blazing."

She stopped short causing him to run into her, "Rick, this is my friend and my partner you're talking about. I won't let it happen again." She turned to him, "You were there too. I should be holding you back." She turned again, determined to protect her partner at all costs.

Kate walked in to the bull pen determined to throw a certain someone out on her pretty little ass but she stopped short at the sight that greeted her. The beautiful woman was in tears, holding on to her best friend's family picture for dear life. All the anger and determination fled her as she remembered her partner like that only a handful of months ago.

She turned to Castle, "Make sure Lanie keeps her there for a while."

She turned back to deal with the latest chapter in what would undoubtedly end up in Rick's next book. Rick pulled out his phone.

She sat down in her partner's chair, "I have to say that you were the last person I was expecting to see here." Her tone was sharp, as were her eyes.

The ME's hazel ones bet her chocolate ones, the pain increased as the memory of similar eyes racked her. "I'm sorry. I… I just wanted to see her, just wanted to apologize."

Kate stared at her, "You shouldn't be here. It won't do either of you any good."

Maura stared sadly at the woman, "I know." She swiped at the tears again, "I just couldn't stop myself. I know she hates me."

Kate's penetrating stare didn't match the gentle hand she had put on the blonds hand. "She has never hated you. Not even once. She would have given her life to save yours."

The blond curls shook, "Then why doesn't she return my calls, or emails?"

"Pain." She said simply, "You hurt her in a way that no one ever could have."

"You weren't there." She said softly, "You couldn't know."

"I didn't have to be." Kate said, her eyes easing slightly, "I got what was left over. I picked her up, put her back together, and gave her back her confidence and purpose. I gave her all the things that she wanted from you, because you didn't. I don't even know how she even made it here, she was so destroyed."

Sobs racked Maura, "I wanted to. I begged her to stay. On my hands and knees, I begged her not to go away."

Kate watched as Maura's sobs made speech impossible. She could still remember the horrible sobs from her partner. How the other woman would cry most of the night. Thank god Rick had understood, and kept his childish remarks to himself. For nearly two months straight, Kate had slept with in Rick's guest room while she had held a woman who cried herself to sleep, every, single, night.

Kate now wondered if it had been any easier on Maura Isles. She wanted to hold the blond like she had the brunette who lived with them but her loyalty was to her partner. It was not something she could just set aside.

"Is there anyone who helps you in Boston?"

Maura shook her head, "Not anymore. I'm alone again. She made me part of a family and now it's all gone." She turned her eyes up to meet Kate's. "I have no one. I am no one without her. I realize now that I will never be able to live without her."

The words sent a shiver down her spine, "Maura?"

She patted the younger woman's hand, "I'm sorry Detective. I shouldn't have come."

Maura went to stand, Kate pushed her back down, and "I don't like the look in your eyes, Maura."

She stared at the woman, "What look?"

"The one that says 'I'm going to do something stupid'. All of the things I have heard about the great Dr. Maura Isles and her big beautiful brain, I really don't want to believe that you would do anything to hurt yourself."

Maura stared at her, shocked that Kate would come to that conclusion, but Kate continued, "If you were to do something like that, she would die too. You have to know that. She's getting by here but the only thing that keeps her alive is the knowledge that you're alive too."

"Detective, you have entirely the wrong idea!" Maura shouted, "I would never do such a thing! Even if I wanted to I wouldn't do it because I know what that would do to her."

Kate looked around, seeing officers and detectives staring at the woman who started shouting, "Don't you have cases to work?" she said loudly to the room.

She turned back to the blond. "Then what did you mean when you can't live without her?"

Maura searched her face, she found curiosity and interest. Kate wanted to understand so she confided in her, "Without her, I can't function beyond a basic level. Her mother made me go see a Psychiatrist. He's calling it depression. I haven't been back to work since I found out she transferred here. Jordan Cavanaugh has been filling in for me."

"She transferred here six months ago," Kate eyed her, "How long ago did you find out."

"Feels like longer." She said softly, "I came here to tell her this, to beg her to come home." She hesitated and in a voice nearly a whisper, "Or let me stay here."

She took Kate's hand in a hard grip, begging her to hear and understand her, "I love her, Detective. I haven't been with anyone since I realized how I feel and I just want her back."

Kate could see the sincerity in her eyes, and feel the desperation in her grip, "I don't know Maura. I don't think she's ready to face you, or this."

The light in Maura's eyes died at that instant, Kate regretted its loss, "Just give it a little more time, Maura." She said. Kate let go of the woman's hands as an unruly mane of Black hair came around the corner.

Jane Rizzoli froze in place as she stared at the last person she ever wanted to see again. Kate sat across from her.

Maura turned her head just in time. "Jane"

It was a whisper, one that Jane heard as if it was whispered directly into her ear, instead of across a room.

Kate's eyes met hers and the message was clear. _Don't run!_

It was something they had shared for years, an uncanny ability to speak without speaking. With a look, either one could understand what the other was thinking. Most of the detectives here didn't see it; they simply believed the two thought that much alike. Ryan and Esposito joked that they were psychic, but it was just something they could do. In all things, Jane trusted Kate completely, in her judgment, her instincts, with her life, and it was reciprocated in every way. But at that moment, Jane turned away from her partner.

She managed a look that said _I'm sorry_ before she bolted down the hall.

Jane ran down the hall, she watched as the elevator light headed down and knew she would be caught before it came back up. She knew the stairs were the next logical choice. She ran to the interrogation rooms but at the last minute, slid into filing. She grabbed the paralegal there and pushed her out the door before she slammed it shut and locked it. She put her back to the door and slid to the floor.

The tears she had managed to keep under careful restraint erupted from her, violently. She buried her face in to her knees and wrapped her arms around them. She sobbed, as quietly as she could but she had learned that once she started, it was easier to let them out. It gave her more time in between spells. And it allowed her to keep them until bed, when she could let them out without anyone knowing.

Except Kate. She was the only one who knew how fragile she had become, but she knew that she would never say anything about it and Kate knew she had it on the job.

It only took a few minutes before Kate found her; it never took her partner long. "I'm here, Jane, and I'm alone." She said through the door. "You going to let me in or should I just sit out here with _my_ back to the door.

God she hated how her partner could read her at times. Jane flipped the lock and slid away. She stayed on the floor though, with her back toward the door. Kate slipped in and relocked it before she slid to the floor, too. She put her back in to her partners and stared at the door. Her position mirroring Jane's except for the ebony head buried in her arms and legs. Kate sat quietly, knowing that Jane needed a minute.

* * *

Maura Isles was in tears, again, as a tall man in clothing of equal quality to hers passed her a tissue. "You need to give her time, Maura."

She looked up at him, "How do you know my name?"

He smiled. It was warm and soothing as it reached his eyes, "I know Jane." He slid Beckett's chair over and gently eased Jane's back under her desk. He slid the garbage can out and began tossing the tissues away.

"Who are you?" she asked between breaths.

He smiled that charming smile again, "I'm Rick Castle, Kate's fiancé."

"Are you going to berate me, too?"

He shook his head, "No. I think you've both been through enough." He handed her another tissue. "Actually, I don't think I've ever seen two people in more pain than you two."

She sniffed softly, "She doesn't want me."

"You're not what I had expected." Rick smiled again, as he stood up, "C'mon, let's take a walk." He held a hand out to her and she felt compelled to take it. He stepped over to Kate's desk and pulled a brown package out of the drawer. He tucked it under his arm and walked her out.

As they passed interrogation he noticed the three officers outside of the file room. He called out, "Hope you're not in a hurry."

Maura looked at him then, "What?"

He smirked, "Nothing, Just giving a couple of guys a hard time. It's expected around here."

They rode the elevator to the first floor, Maura hesitated at the lobby, and "You're walking me out?"

"Not really, I have to make a run to the mail room and thought you could use the break." They veered off from the lobby and headed to the NYPD 12 post office. "You want to hear an odd thing?"

She sniffled, "Sure."

He held up the brown package, "For the longest time, I didn't really know what to do with this and then I met you and now it's clear to me why I've been saving this." He said as he stepped up to the counter.

The postal worker greeted him warmly, "Hey, Rick. What do you have today? More court summons for Beckett?"

"Hi, Charlie." He said, "No summons today. Just a private package."

He placed the brown package on the counter. As the man took it, Maura saw her name on it. She reached for it but Rick stopped her.

"You addressed that to me." She said, incredulous.

"Yep, and it will be waiting for you in Boston." He said with another smirk. "Make it go out today, Charlie."

"You got good timing, my friend, the van is here right now." He said as he dropped it down a chute and hit a buzzer.

Rick turned away and walked Maura way from the Post office, "I'm standing right here and you couldn't have handed it to me?"

"No." He said and patted her hand. "Because if I gave that to you, you wouldn't be leaving New York. This is better. It gives you time to read it and process it."

He said as he walked her to the lobby door she stared at him, "Why?"

"Because if you were the cold hearted bitch we all thought you were, I'd have burned it. Now I see that you're hurting as much as she is, I knew what I had to do." He took Maura's hands into his, "I'm going to give it back, Maura. It was taken from you and from her, and by some bizarre cosmic fluke; I have it to give back. Now it's time for you to go home and wait for that package."

She stared at him, surely he was crazy. "What are you talking about, what was in that package?"

He held her hand for a moment longer, "The Diary of Jane." He patted her hand before he walked away, "It's the first eight months of Jane's stay with us. But you should know it'll break your heart wide open."

Her eyes wide she called back to him, "Who are you?!"

He smiled as he stepped into the elevator, "I told you, Kate's Fiancé, Rick Castle." The doors swoosh closed.


	2. Chapter 2

**_A/N: Wow, my Muse has been in quite a peak the last few days. I've been working nonstop and she doesn't like to be ignored. So she had me write chapters 3 and 6 in this story, then two other odd chapters on my primary. _**

**_So, first, thanks to my two commenters, I really wasn't sure about this idea until I read your comments. It was enough to push me in deeper. So we start with the back story…_**

* * *

_ Since I'm a writer by profession, I've never came across a story I didn't know how to start until now. So I'm going to break from the normal story and just dive right in with my thoughts._

_Of all of the things I've heard about Hurricane Jane, nothing could have prepared me for the sight that greeted Kate and I on that cold, stormy Tuesday night. I expected a woman very much like Kate yet somehow stronger, fiercer, more devoted to justice. Things I actually couldn't imagine, given the woman detective who I sleep with at night. Or maybe more like wonder woman, interesting thought, but in casual slacks and a blazer, a badge and a gun, keep the boots._

_ Everything I had ever been told about her came from Kate, her friend Olivia and her partner Elliot. A super heroine who shared a telepathic link to my extraordinary girlfriend but it was her strength they talked about, like Captain America's shield, not the Hulk's ability to deadlift. She was invincible. Of course that was stupid, no one is invincible. But they all spoke constantly of her ability to take the punishment life dealt with a core of hardened steel that wouldn't give no matter what. Like the shiny red white and blue shield, she would stand firm and hold fast._

_ But I learned something that night about both unbreakable shields and about Hurricane Jane. Every shield has its weakness and every super heroine has a kryptonite. I learned Jane's kryptonite; I even learned it has a name._

_ After closing the case on a double homicide down at the twelfth, Kate Beckett and I opted out of drinks at the local cop hang out, planning to rekindle the fire that had been left burning nearly a week before when the call had come in. The knock at the door came as I was turning Kate on by washing the dishes. Don't laugh. It's a turn on for most women; ruggedly handsome men cleaning. She set her glass of wine down on the table and scooted off the chair where she had been watching me. I leaned over to glance at who ever had dared intrude on our night alone when I heard Kate shouting "Oh, my God, Jane!" _

_ Then I heard the thud of the door, banging against its stops, and Kate's panicked voice, "Rick! Help me!"_

_ I remember letting go of the dinner plate over the counter. I remember it skipping off the edge. I even remember the sound of it shattering as I ran to Kate who was falling backward with her arms wrapped around her friend from Boston PD. I had no idea how accurate that sound would be to the situation that had landed at my door step. I took a running slide to get beneath them before they hit the floor. I remember thinking that I wouldn't make it or that I was going to kick my love in the head as I slid beneath her, but I did make it, and they landed on my chest._

_ Kate immediately slid out from under Jane and ran her hands all over the other woman's body, I could have said something to get myself slapped but truthfully the thought didn't occur to me until I wrote this very line. My thoughts were on Kate and hers were on Jane, so I was on Jane. She ran her hands over every part of Jane's body, checking for wounds or injuries. I rolled her over when Kate finished so she could check the front. _

_ That was when Kate saw the tears. Those very tears would be a huge part of our lives over the next few weeks. I took in her appearance, her clothing was rumpled and soaked through as if she had been in the frigid rain, the wild ebony hair filled with untamable curls looked matted, dirty and feral even wet as if neglected. But her clothing, although in need of a dry cleaner or better yet a burn barrel, was intact and blood free. There were no bruises on her exposed skin so there went my top three theories, assault, rape, and bullet holes. I was relieved at this revelation but then why was she incapacitated. Her lips had turned blue. Kate saw it first._

_ "She's soaked from the rain and turning blue. Help me get her into the bath." Kate told me._

_I didn't ask, I just slid my arms under her and headed to the master bathroom, it was the closest. Kate slammed the front door and ran into the room to turn the water on. As I looked into Jane's eyes, I couldn't help but think how lifeless they were, had she not been breathing and still shedding tears I would have thought her a corpse. I sat her down on the toilet while Kate stripped down to her underwear an instant later she did the same to Jane._

_ "She's cold as ice, got to get her body temperature up." She said as she slid into the tub, with a motion, I carefully picked the Italian up and eased her into the running water with Kate who held on to her for dear life. "It's ok, Jane. I'm here, you made it and I got you." _

_ Jane closed her eyes, and mumbled. It wasn't discernable but she was trying to speak. Kate held her tightly, trying to add her body heat to the rising warm water. Jane began to shiver._

_ It was actually a good sign; her autonomic responses were coming back. Kate held on tight as the shivering became violent but settled to jerky within a few minutes. Kate took Jane's wrist into her hand, feeling for her pulse, after a few seconds she nodded. _

_ I looked to Kate, asked the question she didn't want to think about, "Does she need an ambulance?"_

_ She stared at Jane and shook her head, "I can't see any signs of trauma. Feel her head for knots or depressions."  
My fingers dove into Jane's hair, gently probing her scalp but after a few minutes I stepped back and shook my head. _

_ She then looked right into my eyes, the worry there scared me a little, and "I don't think she needs a hospital. Let's wait a little. I need you to get my flannel PJs, socks and underwear."_

_ I left, went to Kate's bureau and pulled out the flannels, a thick pair of socks, and dug into her drawer for the plain cotton boy shorts Kate swears are the most comfortable underwear in the world. I suppose I could have found boxer shorts but I'm pretty sure my hips are bigger than Jane's._

_ I returned to the bathroom to find my girlfriend gently cleaning her friend with one of those puff ball things and body wash. What do they call that thing, a loufa? Weird because a loufa is some kind of vine that fits in the cucumber family. Hmm. Oh, sorry. About Jane. _

_ I couldn't explain it as I watched the woman I love tend to her friend. The concern and tenderness were things I hadn't seen in Kate before, not like this. And when Kate picked up her shampoo, I reached up to unhook the shower head. It took us a while but we got her cleaned up and into the guest bed. I left so Kate could dress her and before I knew it, she came out with the soaked personals and tossed them in the hamper._

_ "Her color is back and I got her tucked under some warm blankets. She almost froze to death Rick."_

_ I took her into my arms, she needed comfort. I was one of a very select few who could see this side of her. She was scared for Jane. I was too but she was way worse. She kissed me softly. We heard Jane cry out again. Kate held me for a second, pleading with her eyes that I'd understand._

_ "Go." I said, "She needs you."_

_ "I love you." was all she said before disappearing into Jane's room. I knew that she would stay by Jane's side night and day until she found out who had reduced her friend, a woman she admired, to the state of a broken child. As I looked in on them Kate was protectively wrapped around Jane under the blankets. I could think of no safer place in the entire world for the woman to be. As I stood in awe of Kate, again, I couldn't help wonder what could possibly have reduced a woman my girlfriend admired greatly to the level of a traumatized child. It was at least two weeks before we got a name, and it was the last thing either of us ever expected…_

_ …it was Doctor Maura Isles._

* * *

Maura gasped sharply at those words; again her vision blurred with tears. _NO! _ She threw the book away from her as if it had scorched her hands causing it to knock over and break a lamp on the table.

_ It's not possible, it's Jane! She doesn't fall like this, ever._

Maura had been prepared for Jane's anger or coldness when she went to New York, she had not expected this at all. That Jane had been hurting so badly over her actions. Had Jane been angry, Maura could have coped with that but to read about her in absolute agony.

_ It must be a story. Richard Castle is a novelist. This has to be fiction or I don't know how I could live with myself._

Maura forced herself up from the couch and went to retrieve the book. Seeing the shattered remains of the lamp she thought of Jane having to run all the way to New York to find comfort and security. In truth it was odd that she hadn't gone to her family. But after their verbal fight in the airport and before that Jane's fist fight with Ian on her front lawn, Jane had been ashamed of her actions, especially when she had knocked out Frankie trying to get at Ian. Maura thought of that fight again, this time from a different perspective.

After another romantic evening of Ian trying to convince Maura to come back to Africa with him, and to give him another chance, Maura had finally agreed to consider a three month tour, although she had felt guilty about it. She had thought of Jane and the moment she had known her relationship with the surly Italian had transcended beyond friendship. It was that night on the couch, when Jane had been there for Maura after Ian's departure from America to evade charges of smuggling. It was Jane who had caught her when she fell; emotionally in that moment on the couch and again physically with Dennis Rockmond, and so many other times. It was Jane who had been there for her.

This thought had been rolling in her head for the better part of his visit and tonight was the night she was going to inform him that she would not be leaving with him, that she wouldn't love him because she was in love with Jane. She was interrupted by the loud knocking on her front door.

She left Ian to answer it and was surprised to see a very drunk Jane Rizzoli.

"Jane." Maura said, "What are you doing here. Are you alright?"

Jane's eyes landed on her own shoes, "I'm sorry. I just wanted to see you," she slurred.

As brown eyes met hazel, Maura gasped at the raw need and affection she found there, her thoughts were sharp. _It can't be! Jane isn't that way!_

Those eyes changed into anger as Ian walked up behind Maura, "Jane? Are you alright?" His hand rested on the small of Maura's back.

"What the fuck are you doing here?!" she snarled, "You haven't done enough to her?"

Maura gaped, "Jane!"

"What!" her anger mounted, "Maura, this prick left you in shambles the last time. He's bad for you in every way! Throw him out of here or so help me I WILL!"

Maura's eyes turned cold, "Jane. I know your drunk but that is no excuse for your behavior. You have no right to throw a guest out of MY house!"

She stepped up onto the porch, "I have every right to protect you!"

Ian stepped around Maura, "I know you don't like me Jane, but you should leave now and call Maura in the…"

He never got the chance to finish that sentence as Jane's fist slammed into his nose, Ian tried to push her away but she grabbed him, dragging him off the porch. She threw him onto the front lawn.

He regained his feet and put his hands up, "I don't want to fight you Jane."

"Too bad," she said, her anger fuelling her, "Cause I do."

Within a few hits it was clear to Ian that he had to fight or she would take him apart, the whole while Maura was screaming at them to stop. Angela had run from the guest house with her cell phone at hearing the commotion outside.

"JANE CLEMENTINE RIZZOLI! STOP IT THIS INSTANT" her mother yelled. But her words were lost to Jane's battle cry as she blasted Ian in the face with an elbow.

A police car sped into the neighborhood and came to a screeching halt in the driveway. Frankie Rizzoli jumped out of the driver's seat and promptly tackled Jane. Ian backed off immediately, blood gushing from his nose and his lip split. Jane lost track of Ian for a second and registered the weight on her back, she flipped him over and blasted a right hook into the jaw. He fell and stayed down. Jane stood and realized that she had just knocked out her own brother.

The alcohol that had fueled her cleared in an instant, "Oh god, Frankie." She leaned down to check on him when Maura caught her arm.

"Jane, leave, now." She said sternly.

"Maura..."

"I mean it Jane," she said coldly, "I want you out of here, right now."

"Maura," Jane said, tears beginning to show in her eyes, "I'm sorry. I just..."

"There is no justification in your actions tonight Jane. Nor do I wish to discuss this further. Just get out. Go home, Jane."

Maura turned and walked away, she didn't want Jane to see her cry. She took Ian by the arm and headed inside to tend his nose.

Angela had run to Frankie, "Jane you have gone too far this time."

Jane looked down at her brother, "I'm sorry, I thought he was Ian."

Her mom shot her a cold glare, "What the hell were you thinking? Even if it had been Ian, you don't get to go around beating people up. My god, Janie, you could lose your badge over this."

Jane sank to her knees, "I know but I can't let him…"

"Do what Jane? It's Maura's life." Angela huffed, "you don't get to make those choices for her."

"I love her, Ma." She said softly.

"I love her too Jane. But you don't see me beating up her boyfriends."

Jane grabbed her mom's arm, and they locked eyes, "I love her, Ma." She said again.

Angela's eyes widened, "No." She took a step back, "You're not a lesbian. You've never… you know."

"No." she said, her sorrow tore through her words, "Just for her, only for her."

Her mother's look was one of shock, then shame, "Janie, were _Catholic_."

Jane stood up again, "I don't care! I'd lose everything for her, Ma." Without another word, Jane walked off and headed down the street.

* * *

Maura hadn't known what had happened after she took Ian inside until she came back out to check on Frankie and Angela had told her about how Jane left. But Angela hadn't said anything about Jane's confession to her mother. And when Angela did tell her, months later, she desperately wished that the Rizzoli matriarch had told her that night or even the next morning because although Maura couldn't excuse Jane's actions, she would have understood them. She wouldn't have accepted Ian's offer and she wouldn't have been in the airport less than a week later. That was the very next time she had seen Jane, and the last time she had seen her in Boston.

Maura picked the book up off the floor and hesitated. Underneath was a broken picture of Jane and Maura hugging at the Dirty Robber. She reached down and took it into her hand to study the image.

It had been a celebration over a tough case and it was one of the few pictures she had of Jane and her in absolute bliss. She held it tenderly as she took in the sight. Jane Rizzoli was amazing in every way. Maura thought about what it would be like to be with Jane, in love as a couple, to know that Jane would be there, every day to hold her and protect her. She knew Jane was dangerous, that she had killed a man for Maura's protection despite her own demons pertaining to Hoyt.

Jane had the opportunity to kill Hoyt before, she couldn't do it to save herself, but she had drove the Surgeon's own weapon into his chest with no regret to ensure he never got close to Maura again. It was the closest Jane had ever come to committing murder because justified or not, Charles Hoyt had cut Maura's neck and she had known that Charles Hoyt had sealed his fate. Jane would not let him leave that room alive.

Jane was dangerous, she has and would kill to protect her but would never turn that on her, the thought brought chills to Maura. She knew she loved Jane and she knew that Jane had loved her.

She meticulously removed the picture from the frame and slid it into the book Rick had sent her before she sat back down on the couch with it. Bracing herself, she forced herself to read. If there was a way to get Jane back, she would find it here.


	3. Chapter 3

**Language note: Couple f bombs but used cleanly.**

**Definitely adding SVU to the mix, its part of my primary and works really well together. Also I threw in an excerpt from my primary to explain Olivia and Jane and their unique friendship. Look for the *** to begin and end the excerpt.**

**Z, MJ, Finalized. Let me know if you find any oops.**

* * *

Later that night,

"YOU ASSHOLE!"

Rick was shoved into the wall in their penthouse,

"How could you do something so ridiculously stupid!" Kate's fists were buried in his sweater as she held him. "Do you have any idea what you've done?! What Maura can do to Jane with that fucking book?"

After they had gotten home, Jane had showered and changed her clothes before she headed out to meet up with Olivia Benson. It was something she did every Thursday but Kate didn't know why. Castle had his own opinion and Kate told him to keep it to himself. Castle had waited until he was sure Jane wouldn't come back early before he had told Kate about the diary. Kate was furious and Rick was trying to explain it when she had shoved him into the wall.

"Kate, I did this for her. They shouldn't be apart and I can't believe that you don't see it." Rick didn't like raising his voice to Kate but he needed her to listen, "She won't hurt Jane. I know it. She was just as torn up as the night Jane came here."

"This isn't one of your books, Castle." Kate shouted as she shoved him again before letting him go, "This is my partner's life you're screwing around with and it's not something you should take lightly. Just imagine what Maura is going to go through when she reads that fucking book."

"You don't think I know what I handed her?" he said indignantly, "_All_ of Jane's pain and I have a good idea what it's going to do to her. I know it'll hurt but it will also show her what she means to Jane."

"Yeah," Kate said sharply. "And when Jane finds out that you gave a record of all of her pain to the woman she loves, the woman who gave her that pain, she's going to kill you slow and painfully."

He scoffed, "One day she'll thank me for it?" he said with his usual cockiness.

"She's lived here all this time and you still don't have a clue, do you?" Kate stared at him with wide eyes, "Did you ever figure out how she got those scars on her hands?"

He tried to hide his enthusiasm at the answer to the question Kate had refused to talk about. His internet searches had come up empty. Kate's eyes narrowed, telling him he failed.

"No." he said taking on a serious note, "I haven't found anything on it."

"That's because Maura paid huge amounts of money to get Jane's name off the web." Kate bit her lower lip before taking a breath, "Those were given to her by a serial killer that had fixated on her and she killed him with his own blade."

"She killed him?" he said, shocked, "With a knife?"

"A scalpel." She said, "She killed him with a goddamn surgical scalpel and I'll bet she didn't lose a second's sleep over it because he cut into Maura. You've seen that scar on Jane's neck. Guess what. Maura has one to match it."

She leaned into him menacingly, "You are never to talk about it, ever, no matter what and I better never find any of this in one of your books."

"Okay" he said, properly cowed by his very protective fiancé, "But this needs to happen for both of them. Why can't you see it?"

"I do see it!" she rebuked, "I know! But I can't just put my partner, my best friend into a place where she can get hurt like that again. God damn it, Rick, This isn't the way."

"Do you have a better idea?" he asked. "Because I've thought about it too and that book was the only option with a real chance of success."

Kate stared at him as she ran the possibilities in her head. Castle liked to act immature but she knew he wasn't putting Jane through this on instinct alone. In addition to observing her for his Nikki Heat series, Kate knew that Rick had studied Jane closely since she had shown up that first night and seen how much Kate really cared for her. Kate had read that stupid diary and although she knew it was a bad idea, she let him keep writing because his insights had been beyond value in dealing with Jane's heart. But she never thought anyone but the two of them would ever read it. Jane would see it as a betrayal, of that Kate was certain.

But as she thought of those remorseful hazel eyes cringing in pain when she said "She hates me" Kate had a revelation of her own. She dared not even let the thought finish lest it somehow jinx what Castle had done.

She backed him into the wall again and let the coldness in her voice and the fire in her eyes show him exactly how serious she was, "You better pray this works out better than some of your other idiotic ideas because if it doesn't, I'm going to be there to help Jane bury your body."

* * *

With her eyes closed, Jane's head lolled back onto the couch as her skin tingled all over. Without meaning to she let out a throaty moan of contentment at the very talented fingers of Olivia Benson. From the floor in front of her there was a soft chuckle.

"I take it you needed this?" said the throaty voice.

"Mm Hmm." She murmured. When the fingers hesitated Jane protested, "Please, don't stop."

Again with the light chuckle as fingers pressed a little harder into her flesh. Jane's eyes rolled with pleasure and she let out a small gasp.

"At least you stopped calling me by the wrong name." it was barely more than a whisper, but Jane caught it.

With her eyes still closed she reached out and ran one of her hands through the brownish red hair centered over her lap to reassure her friend. "I know it's you, Liv. Thank you for doing this."

"Well," Olivia said, "I like making you feel better and it helps me too."

Jane let her hand drop and relaxed, soaking up the other woman's touch.

It was a love hate thing she and Olivia shared. She loved the way Liv made her feel but hated using her like she was right now.

_It's all Maura's fault._ Jane thought, _She should be here doing this for me._

She pushed the thought away so it wouldn't distract her from the intimate contact she had with Liv. It was so rare for her to get this kind of pleasure from someone else so she always tried hardest to focus on Olivia, to keep Maura off her mind because she knew it had to bother Liv. Even though Liv had been the one to suggest Jane should keep Maura in her mind while she relieved her friend.

Jane moaned softly, followed by a husky "oh yeah."

That was when they heard the crashing of plastic and the thud of a glass bottle at the door.

Jane spun her head around as Olivia jumped up from between Jane's knees to see ADA Alex Cabot standing in the door.

"Jesus, Alex!" Liv shouted, "You scared the hell out of me."

Alex covered her mouth with her hand, "You and Jane?" She turned to leave as the tears started.

Liv stood frozen. Mouth moving but no sounds came out.

"Aren't you going to go after her?" Jane said, astonished that Liv hadn't moved.

Jane rolled off the couch and bolted for Liv's front door. She ran down the steps as quickly as her long legs would carry her and out to the street. On the sidewalk she caught sight of the sexy blond in the black trench coat running down the opposite side of the street. Jane took off after her.

Since Alex had worn a fashionable dress with four inch heels Jane had no trouble catching up to her.

"Alex wait!" she said as she ran across the street to get to the young woman. "Stop!"

The taxi cab she had cut off screeched to a stop and the driver blared his horn, Jane flipped him of without breaking her pace. She ran passed Alex and spun around with her hands out, "God damn it, Alex, STOP!"

The blond tried to go around her but Jane caught her. Alex tried to slap her but Jane caught that too.

"Stop it!" Jane said sharply, "We weren't having sex, Alex."

"Liar!" she shouted in Jane's face, "I heard you moaning and I seen her come up from between your legs. Don't tell me what I saw."

"Alex, look at me." She shouted, "I'm fully dressed, in pants and so is she." Jane pointed to the figure looking up and down the street from a block away.

Alex stopped for a second to take in Jane's clothing. A button down shirt that was neatly tucked in, black slacks with a belt that was fully fastened and as Jane pulled the legs up on her pants, black tactical boots completely laced up to her calves.

"I wasn't having sex with Olivia." She said firmly, "I may be a lesbian but I haven't slept with a woman yet."

Alex snorted, "Bullshit! How can you be a lesbian if you haven't slept with a woman?"

"Because I'm in love with a woman and it's not Olivia," it was her eyes that spoke to Alex.

"If you weren't having sex," Alex challenged, "Then why all the huffing and puffing on the couch?"

Jane looked own at her feet before meeting Alex's gaze, "Because she's the only one I can let take the pain away."

Jane raised her hands to shoulder level, her palms faced away from Alex then she flipped them, displaying the puckered scars on both of her hands.

Alex gasped as she took one of Jane's hands into her own.

Jane forced herself to keep still, "Please don't touch the scars." She said, "I hate having them touched."

Alex stopped herself in mid motion from running her fingers over the raised skin, "What happened?"

"Something bad," more than a hint of sadness in her voice, "I don't like to talk about it."

She let Jane's hand go, "They must hurt badly for you to sound like you did in Liv's."

"Sometimes," she said as she stared at them, "When the weather gets cold or a bad storm moves in or when I go to a different climate."

She looked into Jane's eyes, "How long has she been taking care of them?"

Jane shrugged and turned toward the street, she didn't want to look at Alex while she told her this, "Every year since '08. I met her at LETO in Springfield, Illinois along with Elliot and Kate, You had broken up with her that year and she wasn't taking it well. We'd been there a few days and my hands had been hurting since I arrived. I was talking to Maura on the phone and I guess she could hear it in my voice. She pleaded for me to get someone to do it, and Liv didn't want to talk about you and I didn't want to talk about them. " She began worrying her hands as she spoke.

*** Liv had already showered and changed into her sweat pants and NYPD athletics t-shirt by the time Jane had knocked on her door. She sat on the small couch as she awaited Jane's visit.

"Come in." she said.

Jane entered cautiously; her eyes met Liv's immediately, "Hey. Colin asked me to check up on you, you okay?"

"Come on in and shut the door please." Liv said.

Jane's trepidation tripling as she did so. Liv offered her hand, silently. Jane winced.

"I'm asking no questions. I will make no judgments or speculations. My only desire is to help a friend who helped me. Will you let me?"

Jane wanted to leave, she wanted to run but Maura's words hung in her mind and her palms did hurt. She had been rubbing at them all day. Although she was certain that her friends had seen her, they had not said anything to her about it. Liv had overheard her and Maura on the phone so it was obvious she felt that she had to step up, to offer. Jane instinctively worried her hands, then caught herself and stared at Liv.

"You don't have to." She said with a shaky breath, "In fact I don't want you to."

"Okay." Liv said, lowering her offered hand.

Jane forced herself to sit next to her friend, "I'm sorry I just hate this."

Liv nodded, "I know that now. I shouldn't have offered."

Jane put her hand over Liv's. The contact sent a shiver through her, "No, like Maura, you just want to help. It's not something I just do, but…" Jane closed her eyes, not wanting the other woman to see her as she spoke, "I have a hard time saying no to her."

Liv smiled warmly, understanding embracing her mind, _Its Maura! Maura is the one who was there for her when she needed it._ "Keep your eyes closed," she said quickly as she slowly rolled her hand over, taking Jane's into hers. She felt Jane stiffen.

She rested her other hand on top, "Imagine that its Maura sitting here with you."

Jane cracked an eye at her before she closed her eye and braced herself. Trust was always something she had a hard time with but she wanted to make Maura happy and she knew that her hands were something the blond woman fussed over, but she also made a commitment to help Liv and she hoped this would. So with an image of Maura deeply rooted in her mind, she nodded subtly.

Liv's touch turned soft, almost intimate as she slowly began to work over Jane's hand. Easing her blood into all the places it had a hard time reaching, the relief was more welcomed than Jane had expected. She leaned back into the couch and a soft groan escaped. Liv took that as a good sign and continued kneading the flesh in her hands. A while later she patted the hand that no longer hurt. Jane gently replaced it with her other one.

Liv kept a tight lid on her voice and her breathing. Jane was slipping into the fantasy and it was allowing Liv to see a glimpse of the Italian when she was with her Maura. The relief on Jane's face was breathtaking. The thin line of her brow eased as did the subtle lines near her eyes. As she relaxed, Liv couldn't help but stare. Jane was breathtaking as she was laid back on the couch. Her head leaned back and her breasts poised as if on display, it was subtle and she doubted Jane even realized the seductive image she was casting.

"Maura," Jane's raspy voice snapped them both out of the moment. Liv's eyes landed straight on the hand she had been working over. She kept her gaze away from the other woman for Jane's comfort as well as her own.

Jane gently pulled her hand away from Liv. "Um, thanks," she said as she shook out her hand, "They feel a lot better." _ Did I really say that out loud?_ Jane took a deep breath. She didn't want anyone to know how deeply she fell into that place in her mind she refused to look at although she felt certain that Olivia Benson had just seen part of that place.

"You're welcome, Jane." She said as she patted Jane's knee before getting up, "Now I'm going to bed." She said as she slipped off her pants and climbed in to bed in her t-shirt and panties. "If anyone asks, I'm going to say you just made sure I hadn't passed out on my couch again."

Jane headed to the bed and picked up the sweats from the floor. She tossed them on the couch and pulled the blanket up to Liv's chin. Deep chocolate eyes met mocha colored eyes as Jane tucked in Liv. She used a finger to tuck away a loose strand of Liv's hair.

"Thank you." Jane said softly, "For not asking."

"Any time you need it." She smiled, "I can substitute." ***

Jane finally stopped rubbing her hands and let them fall to her sides, _Maura would be proud that I showed them, let someone touch them._

"Then you two weren't…" her voice trailed off as Jane's head drooped.

She shook her head. "No. I've never been with Liv, never been with any woman because all I want is my Maura."

Alex reached out to hug Jane, both in her own relief and to try to take some of the pain from Jane's voice.

Jane took two steps back, her eyes burning with anger. She knew she hadn't wanted to share such an intimate story with her. Alex who continuously ran Liv through the wringer, didn't want to see the pity in the young woman's eyes. _Why did I share that, why did I trust her?_ But she knew she put herself out there for Olivia, to protect her. Jane's anger mounted at Alex's attempt to hug her. Jane balled it up and fired it at Alex.

"You're a fool, Alex. There stands a woman who trusts you with her heart, something she trusts no one with. She would die to save your life and would kill for you to live. You have no idea how precious a gift that is."

Alex gasped at Jane's tirade, _One minute she's ready to cry, the next she's screaming at me. Is she crazy?_

Jane continued on in her righteous indignation, "I've seen you leave her broken and crying too many times because you've gone to DC for a job or you won't acknowledge your relationship because you want the DA's chair. Hell, you haven't even told your parents! You're killing her, Alex. Every time you break up it gets harder on her. You need to butch up and take care of her or get the hell out of her life, forever. I don't want her to be a shattered woman like me. "

Alex's anger boiled over at Jane's words. It wasn't that Jane dared give her crap about Olivia, but because Jane was right. She hadn't been fair with Olivia. She hadn't even had the courage to tell her the real reason she kept moving and breaking up with her. Alex was afraid of how much she loved Liv, enough to give up her dream of being the DA. And she would have to because no one would vote for a lesbian District Attorney. Politics sucked. But the part that really pissed her off was that Jane would call out Alex for screwing up her love life when Jane's was just as bad if not worse.

"Well, you would know about forever, wouldn't you? Who the hell are you to lecture me about relationships when you run away and hide from your problems? 'I only want my Maura'. But I don't see you picking up a phone or hopping on a plane to go tell her all about your unrequited love. Hell last I heard you haven't even called your own family to let them know where you're at or to let them know your even still alive. Then you have the nerve to chew me out about my love life? Fuck you, Jane!"

Alex started walking away but as she passed Jane she turned her head to the side, "Since were passing out unwanted advice, here's some for you. Before you start sticking your face in everyone else's business maybe you should take care of your own first."

Alex turned and kept walking away from the older Italian. She hated that Jane was right but she'd never say that to her. But Jane was right, she had seen how Liv got more and more upset every time Alex lost her nerve and ran away. _I need to make a change. For both of us._


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Yep I brought you a double header pretty much because most of this was supposed to be in chapter three but I tipped the hat to My Muse and worked out a few kinks. I bought a car charger for my laptop so I can work on this and my Primary while I'm on the road. I hope you guys liked the excerpt. This story was supposed to be about 5 chapters but it's growing slowly, seems My Muse has a few more ideas so I'm rolling with it. Now I think I nailed Frankie but I'll let you decide that. Don't worry, I'm going to bring hard ass Jane into the mix in a bit but we have to make sure her head is screwed on straight first. In the meantime, enjoy Google Jane.**

* * *

As she sat at her desk she felt ashamed. She didn't want to make this call but she had never been a coward, at least until this year. The argument she and Alex had on the street still rang in her head a week later. She really did have no right to chew the young woman out over things she herself hadn't taken care of. The one thing she hated more than her own cowardice was her own hypocrisy, on full display that night.

Jane took a deep breath for courage and picked up her desk phone to dial a number she knew as well as her own.

It rang sharply in her ear until, "Detective Rizzoli."

She cringed, "Hey Frankie."

There was a pause and some street traffic. Then, "Well, well, if it isn't NYPD Detective Jane Rizzoli." Another pause, "Whata'ya want?" the tone was short.

Not that she didn't deserve it, "Well at least you haven't hung up on me."

"I'm leanin' real heavily toward it, Janie. Make it quick, I gotta train to catch."

"Sorry. I just…" she sighed heavily, "I owe you and the family an apology and an explanation."

"Your brilliant detective strategies lead you to that." Frankie's voice was dripping sarcasm.

"No." she said honestly. She leaned over her desk and ran a hand through her untamed hair, "More like remembering the last few months and not liking what I've been seeing."

She knew he wouldn't miss the hurt in her voice, "I screwed up, Frankie. I screwed up bad."

"You're tellin' me?" he huffed, "Why call now, so little brother can bail you out?"

"No." With her hand still in her hair she planted her elbow on her desk to hold her head up, "I just thought you would get it. Maybe not forgive or excuse, just that you would get it."

There were more sounds of traffic and then a police siren wheeled by, "Alright, Janie. Be straight with me and I'll listen. You're buyin' though so where can I meet you at?"

"I'm in New York City, Frankie. You're not exactly around the block."

A scoff over the phone, "I'm at 500 Pearl Street. We're you at?"

Jane scoffed, "That explains the traffic." Then it hit her. She jumped out of her seat knocking her chair into the front of Ryan's desk.

"Oh, so you know where that is? I thought traffic on Boylson was bad."

"Wait. Why are you at The US Courthouse?" her voice cracking as the pitch rose, "What the hell are you doing in New York?"

"A case we turned over to the DEA a few months back," he said nonchalantly, "it went to court here, I just finished my testimonies."

"Jesus, Frankie." She said sharply, "You're in New York and you weren't even going to look me up?"

"Are you kiddin' me?!" He shouted, "You walked out on us, Jane! Nobody's heard from you in almost a year!"

"Yeah, I guess I deserved that." She whined and plopped back in her chair, "Just take a cab to NYPD 12th precinct. It's on the corner of Second Ave and 21st Street. You're like fifteen minutes away."

"I'll be there, Jane." She could just imagine him pointing his finger at her, "You just meet me at the door. I don't see you I'm on the first Amtrak to Boston."

* * *

Frankie stood in a suit and tie outside of the 12th. He had just shut the door on the cab when he heard his name, he turned around to find Jane standing with a woman equally as tall and imposing as she was but instead of his sister's ebony curls, hers flowed to her shoulders in dark chestnut waves.

"Called for backup, in case I wanted a little payback?" he said, his tone was sharp and drove guilt deep into Jane's heart as he rubbed his jaw, "Don't think you need it."

They walked up to him, "I'm so sorry, Frankie." She said softly. "I didn't know you were there. You know I'd never do that on purpose."

"I know you meant to lay out Ian Faulkner but you got me instead." He eyed the other woman, "You look familiar."

"Frankie, you remember Detective Sergeant Kate Beckett." She turned to her, "She's my partner."

As he extended his hand to her, he watched her carefully, "Oh yeah, the New York cop who Janie goes to ball games with."

"It's been a while," Kate said, taking his hand firmly, "Jane's been boasting about her little brother making detective all day. She's insanely proud of you."

Again he rubbed his jaw, "Yeah, and I'm sure I'd say the same but I haven't heard from my sister since she punched me out on her best friend's front lawn."

Jane cringed again, "Frankie…"came the whiny tone again.

He held his hand up, "Save it Jane. I said I'd come and listen but that's all I promised so let's just get to it."

Kate leaned over and hugged her partner and since Jane wasn't a hugger, Frankie's eyes rose when Jane returned the embrace. "I'll see you at home but not before ten o'clock. Castle and I have to catch up on some overtime."

"Ten it is, I don't want to see that man's bare ass again." Jane snarled as Kate walked away.

"It's a cute ass, Jane." She said over her shoulder.

"Yours is better." Jane shouted.

Kate waved without looking back.

Frankie eyes rolled, "Really. I need to hear this?"

"Private joke." She said nonchalantly.

"Then keep it private," he said defensively, "Now about this food."

"The place is called Bella Roma." Jane said with a grin, "Best Italian in little Italy."

* * *

Frankie sat back after finishing what was probably the best gnocchi he ever had as Jane told him about how she had driven away from Boston. How she got her car towed while parked in front of the 12th while she was inside looking for Kate. Her subsequent walk to Rick's Central Park penthouse during which she nearly froze to death and waking up with Kate taking care of her. She told him everything except the one thing he wanted to know.

"Hold up." He said, "I get that you ran away 'cause you were ashamed of the way you were acting. I get what you're sayin' about going to stay with Kate and I can even understand you in the NYPD. But c'mon Jane, why did it all happen? I'm followin' you from Maura's flight until now, but you gotta tell me what started this whole god damned thing, Jane."

"That's the hard part Frankie." Jane stared into her barely touched beer, the only one she had in the hour they had been sitting in the restaurant, "Thing is, it all started with me."

He set his napkin down, "In all of my life, I've seen you do some crazy things, Janie. Never once have I seen you irrational, unhinged. So I need to know."

She pushed her beer away as if it repulsed her, "It started with me, I changed when I realized something about myself that I didn't know how to handle."

Frankie sat and waited, Jane would say it but she would do it when she was ready.

Jane fortified herself before meeting his eyes, "I'm a lesbian, Frankie. I've been one all along and never knew it until I fell head over heels in love with a woman."

"Maura." It was a statement and not a question.

She nodded, "I still love her Frankie, like I never loved anyone else. In a way so deeply, that it scares me even now and in the last nine months it's only grown with her absence. It scares me Frankie."

Frankie took a sip of his wine as he gaged his sister, "Love don't make you act like a nut, Janie. A loon? Yeah. Goofy as hell? I can go with that too but you were off the map."

"What if the one thing you needed to survive was at risk of being taken from you." She said, again staring at the beer, "I was going to have a drink to get up the courage to tell her but I over did it. It was the scariest thing I ever faced so I just kept drinking. The night of the fight, I was going to tell her about me, about how I felt about her, then Ian was there behind her and I lost it."

She sighed and blinked back the tears fighting for release, "I lost control, Frankie. I lost it all and I lost everything I loved that night."

Frankie reached across the table and took her hand, "No. Janie, you screwed up. Despite all that's happened, we all miss you. I've been here three times over the last four months, each time Ma drives me nuts over trying to find you. She's worried, Janie. So was I and so is Tommy."

He hesitated, "So was Maura." There was something in his voice.

Jane looked at him, her concern plainly evident, "Tell me, Frankie."

Frankie let go of her hand and took a big slug of wine, "Just so you know. I'm not cool with anything that went down, not by a long shot. I'm still pissed at you but like you said, I get it."

He leaned back and sighed, "Maura was supposed to be gone for three months. She was back in under two. She didn't even go home first, came right to the station looking for you. Korsak, Frost and I were out on a scene at the time. We came back a couple of hours later and found her sittin' at your desk. She asked were you were and Korsak told her about you requesting a leave of absence.

"She told us how she couldn't get you on your phone and I told her about how you haven't been to your apartment since the day she left." He took a big breath, "Janie, it was like watching a rose wilt right in front of you. She nodded and walked out. I followed her to the morgue but she wouldn't talk to me at all. When we got to her office she took one look around and saw Pike trying to pull a bullet out of the body we got with those plier things."

"Forceps." She said, funny how she knew that.

"She snatched them out of his hands and fired him on the spot. He went off on her and I got some uniforms to drag him out of the building. She did the autopsy and then started going over the case files Pike had done. We had a 41 percent dismissal for lack of evidence. Maura started to redo all the cases and also started searchin' for Pike's replacement. She pulled Jordan Cavanaugh out of the Suffolk County Coroner's Office."

"Lieutenant Cavanaugh's niece? "she asked, surprised because the slender ME was always sticking her nose into the cases too far. Jordan would have made a great detective.

"Yeah and Maura had her shadowin' her for like two months. I don't know how they did it but they got three quarters of those cases put back in the system and we got convictions on all of them."

Jane blinked, "Damn, go Maura and Jordan."

He eyed her, "She never really came back though. I know you hate this title but she really was the Queen of the Dead and Jordan was her Squire. Meanwhile Jordan's boyfriend was moved into our squad, Detective Woody Hoyt."

Jane cringed at the name. The young detective from Milwaukee wasn't related to the Surgeon in any way but she never could get passed the name, even though Woody's hick-town ways _were_ hilarious.

Frankie continued, "Maura was gettin' by until Lieutenant Cavanaugh told us that you requested a transfer to NYPD. He wouldn't say what precinct or division despite Maura damn near begged him to tell her. But he wouldn't budge."

"I asked him not to." Jane held her head in shame, "I didn't want any of you to know. I couldn't face you guys then."

"Yeah well, she didn't take that too well." He said, "She walked out that day. She was gone a week before Jordan started draggin' her to work. A few weeks after that she turned in her resignation. Jordan hid it and got her put on a leave of absence and she's is convinced she'll snap out of it soon but I'm still thinkin' she won't. I don't know much about her time at home, just what Ma would share 'cause she's the only one who sees Maura anymore. Guess Maura's been hidin' like you."

Guilt continued to gnaw at Jane's heart, "Shit." She finally said, "When I screw things up, nice to know I go big."

"Well that's good 'cause you certainly don't go home." He said, but his words had begun to take on the slightest hint of jest.

Jane caught it and knew that given time, she and her brother would be fine again.

"So anything else you want to know about?" she asked.

Frankie thought about it, "No, I'm good."

"Does it bother you? That I'm gay?" she said, biting her lower lip.

He smiled, "Not really."

She raised her eyebrows, "Really?"

"Look, you've tried to be like one of the guys so long it doesn't surprise me that eventually you'd start chasin' skirts. The only thing that bothers me is that I now got some pretty stiff competition now."

Her mouth fell open. "Frankie!"

"Awe c'mon, Janie." he said with a smirk, "I've had it pretty easy for a long time. You've seen the bimbo's Tommy goes after and most of the girls I date wouldn't be caught dead with him. Now I gotta worry that I'm gonna bring a nice girl home and my gorgeously awesome sister might make a move on her and the girl will like you more than me."

Jane laughed, "Frankie, you don't have to worry about that. I promise, your girlfriends are off limits."

Frankie laughed too then his phone rang. He dug into his pocket and checked the caller ID.

"It's Ma." He went to answer it and she caught him.

"Please, Frankie." She said, "I'm not with you."

He nodded and answered, "Hey Ma… No I haven't left yet." He eyed her warily, "Yeah, actually I had dinner with her today."

Jane cringed and listened to the half of the call she could here.

"No, Ma… I know… She does too… Yeah, she's doin' a lot better… No, it was a good move for her… No, ma… Yeah, Ma, I get it… Really?... Okay, so what's up?..." his posture changed, "What… When did this happen?... I don't know… No, she didn't say anything…" Another glance at Jane, "Well, I'll be seein' her before I leave… I'll ask her, Ma… I'll tell her that too… Yeah, of course… Love you too and I'll tell her to call… Bye, Ma."

Frankie hung up and set the phone down before looking at Jane, "Maura left Boston. Moving vans came and took all her stuff today and a realtor came to hang a sign on the lawn."

* * *

It was dark out when Maura had taken her wine out onto the balcony of her new condo, a condo she had just finished unpacking in. Her view was of a green park with trees, a well-manicured lawn and even a large pond not too unlike the Boston Commons.

_ Except this isn't Boston,_ she thought.

Her eyes turned to the large brown and grey building that lay on the other side, the place she would be working in from now on. Her thoughts were troubled tonight as she looked around her new surroundings; _I just hope this is enough._

After finishing the book Rick Castle had given her, Maura had decided that it was time to leave Boston behind. If she was ever going to make peace with her past and more importantly her actions pertaining to Jane Rizzoli she was going to have to do as Jane had, get a fresh start in a new city.

So Maura had resigned her position in Boston and began searching for a teacher's position in prominent med schools. Despite her abrupt departure from Boston she had landed one in a city of her choosing and for the first time since she came to Boston she was looking forward to starting over.

Maura carried her wine back in side and exchanged it for the book on the end table. She slid into her couch and carefully opened it, rereading about Jane in the NYPD.

_ It had happened; Kate had gone to bat for Jane with Captain Gates and won Jane the chance to work in the 12th precinct homicide when Dave Logan had retired. Jane had already gotten the transfer orders from her Lieutenant in Boston and she had gone through the Academy refresher and NYPD orientation. Today marked the first day on the job._

_ It was a bittersweet victory. Captain Gates had told Kate that Jane's actions would reflect directly on her. Kate had insisted that if she bore the responsibility for Jane than she wanted the new detective to be her partner._

_ Of course Gates had brought me into it, saying how she already had a civilian following her around. But Kate was prepared for that, she was always prepared. It took a little longer but Kate got her way and Jane was moved into the desk next to hers. Unfortunately, I get to sit in the back of the car now. Huh, kind of looks familiar but odd considering my hands aren't cuffed. At least until Jane's sense of humor made its appearance._

_ I make one little comment about how NYPD badge looks good on her Boston belt and she had me stuffed in the back, hands cuffed, and laying on my side. My beautiful girlfriend laughing hysterically as Jane headed in to the scene._

_ "At least the dog gets an open window." I shouted._

_ Kate laughs again and opened the door to let me out._

_ "Still got a key in your wallet." She said._

_ "Um yeah."_

_ "Good." She laughs and walks away. "Remember, this is Jane's first case so mouth closed." _

_ After some serious finagling, I get myself out of the car and get the cuffs of with the afore mentioned key._

_ I walked into the scene to observe. Kate, Jane, and Dr. Lanie Parrish, M.E. were leaning over the middle aged victim. Detectives Ryan and Esposito were scouring the floors looking for evidence while techs were scurrying about._

_ I have seen Kate and Lanie investigate this kind of scene many times so instead I focused on Jane. For the first time ever I watched the delicate woman slip away to become the homicide detective, was that a cape I just seen come out of her collar?_

_ "Time of death is about 2:30AM." Lanie said, "Looks like he was stabbed in the heard from the back. Reaches in about twelve inches."_

_ "So something like a hunting knife." Kate asked._

_ Jane reached down her blue gloved hand spreading the wound gently, "No sign of serrations but that's too deep to be a switchblade."_

_ Lanie eyed her with interest, "Very good, Detective Rizzoli." A speculative look filled her eyes, "What else do you see."_

_ Jane eyed the wound closely, "Between the lack of serration and clean cuts on both sides of the wound, it would appear that the murder weapon had a double edged blade."_

_ Lanie's dark eyes lit, "Such as?" _

_ Jane met her eyes, "Possibly a large stiletto style blade, like a switchblade but larger." She hesitated before, "The blade would be similar to a kopis although that isn't a likely murder weapon ."_

_ Kate frowned, "What is that and why is that not an option?"_

_ "Because," Lanie smiled, "A kopis was a large stabbing knife that was used by ancient Greek soldiers around two thousand years ago. I suspect detective Rizzoli was giving us an idea of our weapons size and appearance."_

_ I covered my mouth trying to conceal my grin as I asked her, "So we should put a BOLO out for Spartacus?"_

_ "My last ME was a Talking Google." She said sheepishly, "I guess some of it rubbed off."_

_ I put on my best Rizzoli pout and stomped my foot, "Awe c'mon, the Immortal Greek warrior angle makes for a better story." Yeah, it was childish but I thought it was funny. _

_ Lanie didn't agree, "Zip it, Castle."_

_ Kate smiled and patted her partner on the shoulder. "Nice work, Jane."_

_ Ryan passed a tablet to Kate, "Hell of a knife."_

_ Kate looked at the image of a Greek kopis on the tablet. "Looks like a double edged buck knife. Start chasing down some sellers for things like this… kopis."_

_ Jane sighed, "Seriously, it's more likely this guy was stabbed by a German bayonet from world war two than that thing."_

_ We all looked at her, she squirmed a little. _

_ "Look, it's really simple; the knife used on this guy was most likely made for killing. The lack of serrations in the wound rules out a multi-functional tool like our military uses, it shouldn't be a hunting knife because they have a sharp point and a single sharp edge with a blunt elbow like protrusion a third of the way down the dull side. It wasn't a sword of some type because of the slight bruising around the wound that happened before the guy's skin died from oxygen depletion caused by the sudden lack of blood flow indicates that the blade was bottomed out so that rules out swords and spears. Kitchen knives aren't usually double edged to protect the person using them, chopping knives like a machete are relatively dull and usually too flimsy to stick into a person." She cringed again at her own version of Talking Google. _

_ Kate smiled warmly and put a reassuring hand on Jane's back._

_ So did Lanie, "I am impressed detective. Not only does your analysis go through the bulk of weapons that could be used here but your knowledge is also quite formidable. Yes I have to agree that we are most likely looking for a blade designed for the purpose of killing."_

_ Jane eyed the dark skinned ME and then smiled at Kate, "Then I passed."_

_ "With flying colors." Lanie laughed, "I'll get to the autopsy today to confirm the detective's conclusions."_

_ Kate smile showed off her perfect white teeth, "So what do you make of the scene, partner?"_

_ Jane smiled at the word. She was back on the force._


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: reinserted a missing piece that has been perfected. The origin of Bad Ass Jane is here, be aware that it is dark and it does end up being pivotal. **

**To Z and MJ: Keep me honest.**

* * *

_"Shot's fired! Shot's fired! Officer down! Officer down! Plain clothed detectives need assistance, Commercial Street and (Static)."_

Jane leaned against the stamping press she had taken cover behind and shook out her hand. The radio she had just been holding had been shattered by a lucky shot that had bounced off the steel side of a parts dumpster.

She immediately crouched down and raised her weapon to return fire. Two shots later, she was pulling back into cover, looking for her partner.

Kate was across the aisle way hiding behind a mechanic's tool box. Jane was relieved. She had heard the shot and saw her partner go down while she had dove for the biggest object she could find. Kate must have rolled the other way to the small but tall tool chest she was now leaning against and she was now sitting up, clutching her stomach. The thin sheet metal wasn't much for cover.

Jane called out, "You okay?"

Kate shook her head, "Vest slowed it but it penetrated."

"Shit!" Jane shouted, "Tell me!"

"Radio's busted," Kate stared at her partner, _I need an ambulance._

Jane paled at the message, she couldn't lose Kate. Jane Rizzoli stared back, "Kate, you hang on."

More bullets passed through the aisle of the industrial warehouse they had chased their murder suspect, Nate Murphy down to. Jane stared in horror as Kate picked up her weapon and struggled to turn around. "Get out of here, Jane. No matter what happens you get out of this alive."

"No!" she shouted as Kate swung around and fired three shots at the gunman. Who promptly returned fire. Kate ducked back just barely in time. Shrapnel from the light steel box cut her cheek as bullets slammed into the side.

Jane's heart was in turmoil as she returned fire and received a response in kind. She looked at her partner who was wiping the blood from her cheek. Kate turned her head to her and their eyes locked.

As she stared into those worried eyes, Kate would swear to her dying day that she had seen Jane's soul. Kate's pushed all her love, trust, and friendship into that brief connection with her partner and Jane felt the weight lift from her heart for the first time since Boston.

_My life for my partners, no regrets._ Kate nodded, "That was the deal we made at LETO, Jane. I'll distract him, you get out of here."

At her words, that place deep inside her that she was so horrified of came back to life. It had been gone for so long and just like that, it was back and ready to be used again for its terrible purpose. But with its return, came all of Jane's strength, her will to act, to live. She turned to her partner allowing all of her fears into her face as Kate pushed it all at her.

She had felt the sincerity of Kate's words and the commitment behind them. She knew in that instant that coming to New York was the right choice even if how or why she did it was wrong. She knew that that awful place inside her had a purpose too. Jane was eternally grateful to have this woman who would willingly give her life for her, not out of duty or obligation, but out of friendship and love. Kate intended to sacrifice herself so Jane could escape and it had awakened her soul again.

Jane could do no less for her. Before Kate could get up, Jane had rallied her much missed strength and bolted around the machine and was running down the far side of the warehouse.

Kate gaped as she realized Jane was running _towards_ the gunman. She cursed and rose unsteadily to her feet and took aim to cover Jane.

"Fucking crazy bitch!" she shouted. Shots exploded around Jane and she dove to the ground, sliding under a conveyer belt before she rolled to her feet and took off again. Kate fired several rounds in the area where the shots had come from causing her to lose sight of Jane. She reloaded then looked down the long aisle. She heard no more shots. The clunking of Jane's boots had stopped too.

As she peered around the box to gage the situation she sensed a presence behind her an instant before the hot barrel of a pistol was jammed into the back of her head. She froze.

"Shouldn't be out here all alone, little girl." A deep throaty voice said into her ear, "You just couldn't leave her a Jane Doe, could you? You made me worry over her." She felt his grip tighten around the trigger through the pistol.

Kate braced herself for death and prayed Jane made I out if this. _At least there would be one good thing. She'd have to turn to Maura._

A flicker of movement at the edge of her vision caught her attention, it was only for the briefest of seconds but she knew. She knew something she hadn't known before.

"She's not the Jane you need to be worried about." She smiled and closed her eyes, "I'll see you in hell, Murphy." She pinched her mouth closed and held her breath, waiting for the shot.

The back of his head exploded as a .45 caliber round went through his skull, sucking in the air violently through the neat hole it had created. The rapid induction of air had caused his brain matter to rapidly evacuate his head through the large gap created by the now mushroomed shaped bullet's exit.

Kate felt a slap of hot, sticky liquid along the side of her face and shoulder before the thump of a body hitting the floor filled the silence.

Their suspect, Nathaniel James Murphy was dead. He was killed by Detective Jane Rizzoli to save the life of her partner, Detective Sergeant Katherine Beckett. That was what the official report would say.

But in that instant before the bullet was fired, Kate learned the same horrific truth Maura did the night Charles Hoyt had cut her throat.

Jane would not only die to save the people she loved, she would kill for the same reason without regret or hesitation. This was the woman who shot herself in the stomach to save her brother's life. The officer who had ended the life a serial killer who was going to brutally rape and murder her and her love, Her partner who now coldly took a man's life to save Kate's.

Katherine Houghton Beckett was family too.

She would swear Jane's eyes were black as night when she stepped into view from the side. It was a side of Jane that Kate had never seen before and it honestly scared her. Kate had killed in the line of duty before but she had never looked like Jane did right now. Jane's face was as if it had been carved of stone, and her eyes were stone cold, it was the look of a lethal predator. Kate had never seen anything like Jane in that moment.

Jane had approached slowly to verify what she had done, her Glock 37 still in hand was in a ready position. She lowered it as she took in the sight of Murphy's grey matter and blood spreading across the floor. Jane turned to check out Kate, blood had splattered all over the side of her partner's face and clothing.

The sight took Jane out of that dark place and she grabbed Kate by the shoulders, "C'mon, partner. Let's get you out of here."

Kate blinked at how quickly that coldness just flashed out of Jane's face. Her partner's voice was calm and collected as she led her out of the warehouse.

As they reached the door, sirens were sounding in the distance as police, fire, and EMT's raced to the officer down call Jane had barely gotten out.

"What you did in there scared me a little," Kate stopped her outside, "So I need to know, Jane."

Jane turned to look at her.

"When it happens? Do you feel anything?"

Jane blinked at the question. She knew what Kate was asking, what no one else besides Maura knew about and she had been too afraid of it to ask. "Regret."

Her answer surprised her, "Why regret?"

"That it came down to that point." Jane sighed heavily and helped Kate to sit on the steps, "That no matter what happened he had to die. I regret being the one who had to choose. "

She knelt down in front of her, "And who the hell are you calling a fucking crazy bitch!?"

Kate laughed, than groaned as Jane gently peeled away her vest to check the wound.

"If the shoe fits…" she said.

* * *

Mt. Sinai Hospital, Manhattan

After IAD detectives had left Kate's hospital room, Jane brought her some ice chips and plopped down on the doctor's stool next to her partner's bed. Kate's bullet had landed in her abdomen near the same place Jane had blown a hole in herself to save her brother. But Kate's had not passed through, just ripped skin and muscles before lodging itself between her kidney and liver.

"I put Ryan on the door so we get some warning." She sighed, "But before we begin I need you to understand some things."

"Okay." Her partner reassured her.

"First thing is that I've never talked about this Kate, ever, and I need you to promise me that you won't say anything either. No one else but Maura, and now you, knows this about me and you can't tell anyone." She watched her partner closely, "Promise me."

"I promise, Jane." Kate reached for Jane's hand but she pulled away, "You've never talked to Maura about it?"

"Maura wouldn't ask about it, I don't know if she was waiting for me or if she was afraid to ask."

"What else should I know?"

Jane got up and paced around the room, "When it happens, it's fast and I… I can see my anger or desperation fuelling it but the only thing I can really feel is regret that it came to this. I'm in control and operating with a clear head and I know what I have to do but I regret having to do it and I mourn the life taken in that instant. But once it's gone, it takes that sense of loss with it but the regret never really goes away."

She stopped near the window to look out onto the city, "I know it only lasts a few seconds but when I'm in there, in that state, it's like a lifetime. I can see every outcome, every possibility with clarity, and I have all the time in the world to act." She hesitated, "and no time at all because at the same time it's fast, so fast."

"Damn, I wish I could do that."

Jane shook her head violently, "No, Kate, you don't. It's a terrible thing to carry. You don't know. You can't know what it's like. I don't want to have it. It scares the shit out of me." She returned to the stool and took Kate's hand, "I wish it would go away and leave me." Her voice was level but sadness had crept in anyway.

Kate grabbed her friend with both hands, "Jane. It's okay."

"No it's NOT!" Jane pushed Kate away gently, "I got this thing when Hoyt gave me these," She held up her hands, "It's not some divine gift. It was made from the pain. It came to life when my partner pulled the scalpels out of my hands. He saw it, I know he did but he doesn't know what it was or what it can do. He still doesn't know that it's part of _me!"_

Jane rubbed at her hands again and Kate was beginning to understand the movements.

"It's always there and I can feel it, like a cold spot you can never get to go away. I don't worry about it getting loose because after the first time, I have to… sort of… reach for it." Jane stared at her partner with fearful eyes. "And I have, Kate."

Kate sat up a little. "How many times have you used it, Jane?" She asked and put a hand on Jane's shoulder.

"Three." She said and sniffled, "The first time was to save Frankie. It came over me, I didn't go for it, Kate, I didn't. But when I heard Bobby say Frankie was probably already dead, it came out. I didn't reach for it. I screamed as it came out, I was terrified of what was happening. I saw the whole thing in slow motion, what it was and how it came to be and by the time the gun was in my stomach I knew what I had to do with it. I pulled that trigger to save Frankie's life, and end Bobby's." Her voice came to a whisper, "and mine."

Kate stared at her partner. She had no idea that Jane had wanted to die at that moment. "No, it's not right. Jane, tell me you didn't want to."

She hung her head, "I did, I wanted to die in that moment because it scared the hell out of me."

"Do you still feel that way," Kate asked. She was Jane's partner, she needed to know this.

"Not really." She looked up at Kate, "It still scares me and I want it gone but I kind of came to terms with it while I was recovering. It was Maura that made me want to live. She fussed over me and wouldn't leave my side the entire time I was in the hospital. She was more scared that I wouldn't make it than I was of it, I think. In fact, she told me when I was all drugged out that she needed me and that I couldn't die after showing her love and friendship. I think that was when it started, really started."

"Your feelings for her?"

"Yeah," she said, "Our friendship started after Hoyt, back when I got out of the hospital with my hands wrapped, I wasn't very pleasant but she and I had been closely working with each other and had formed a close working relationship. I kept pushing her away but she wouldn't give up, she just kept coming over and taking care of me. I was trying to deal with Hoyt and this new thing festering inside me like poison, she made it better and she doesn't even know it because for her I swore to myself that I wouldn't ever let myself become that thing inside me."

"Hoyt," Jane cursed, "He gave me this thing and I wish like hell I could give it back. And the worst part is that he made sure I never could."

Kate was mesmerized by Jane's story. "What do you mean he made sure?"

"The first time he escaped, he teamed up with an apprentice and they tazed me and drug me out to the woods to have their fun before killing me. I got the upper hand and killed Stark without it but that woke it up. I turned away from it because I was afraid that it would turn me into him. It wouldn't go away until I gave him back these scars, but when he had Maura in the hospital, I _deliberately_ reached for it."

She rested her head in her hands; her tears flowed silently down her cheeks. "He already cut me, in front of Maura. He cut my neck, then he tazed her. His partner made me watch while he cut her too. That was the first time I reached for it and it came out. I took out the guard and fought with Hoyt until I got the scalpel away. I was over top of him, I had him, and I used it to kill him with his own tool. When it left me again, I realized what had happened, what I had done. Not to Hoyt, I was relieved that was over.

"I realized that I had given it permanent refuge. I wasn't sorry Hoyt was dead but I was afraid because it had settled into a very deep dark part of my soul. Always there, always watching, waiting for me to reach for it. Everybody thought I was upset over the event but it wasn't Hoyt. I couldn't believe what I had allowed into me, forever."

Jane stood up and leaned over Kate, her face just inches away, to make sure her partner got exactly what she was saying, "I want to give it back more than anything but killing him ensured that I could never be rid of it! After Maura left, I thought I had buried it until you told me to leave, 'My life for my partner's with no regrets.' I know we said it but I couldn't let you die and it woke up again, I couldn't let you kill yourself so I tried to get him. I tried to get him before he got to you, and when I seen him with that gun to your head, I reached for it again. "

Jane's tears started again. Kate thought she might fall apart again. Until Jane took and uneasy breath and like so many times _before_ Jane had come to New York, her face schooled and she took a deep steady breath for calmness before sitting down again.

"It's a terrible thing to know you have it. Killing in the line of duty is one thing, we take comfort in the fact that we did what we should have, that all the steps were taken and lives were saved. It's not like that Kate. I know that I saved Frankie, Maura, and now you, but it still scares me."

Kate studied Jane for a while as she sat. She was worried about Jane now. Worried that Jane was struggling with a part of herself that was beyond dangerous, it was lethal. Jane could kill without doubt or hesitation, without feeling or remorse but she used it to save lives and that spoke volumes about Jane's character.

_But she does feel remorse._ Kate latched on to that thought with everything she had. True that when she did this she felt no loss at the life but Jane regrets having to take it. Kate had read Jane's file from Boston and it wasn't all that different from the details Jane had just told her, just the context had changed, just how Jane had felt was different. Both times her actions had been reviewed and stamped with BPD approval. Kate thought about how she would react in her position. And no matter how she turned it over, she would have done the same as Jane had.

She watched Jane as she began pacing again. It wasn't the timid pacing Jane often did around the penthouse. It was a predatory lope, exactly like the one she used to have before her heart was shattered. Kate watched for other differences. Jane's shoulders were lose and uncoiled, her face no longer tight with sadness and pain. Her very posture was confident despite all that she had revealed. There were signs that she was unsure of how her partner would take her secrets but she wasn't cowering like she used to. Jane was more like her old self than Kate had ever seen in the last few months. Whatever _it_ was, it had seemed to return the Jane Rizzoli Kate had befriended years ago.

"Jane," Kate said slowly, "I'd deny everything your saying but I've seen it in you myself. I can't ignore that."

Jane stopped to stare at her and her eyes filled with fear.

"But you've had this for as long as I've known you." Kate looked at her with trust and admiration, "You said that it woke up when I was willing to die for you."

She nodded.

"Ever since that moment, the friend that I lost, that I was honestly worried that I'd never get back, did come back. I'm not going to pretend that I know anything about it or what you are feeling or that it doesn't scare me too. But I want to help you. You saved my ass today and if I can help you make peace with this thing again. I'll do whatever I can."

Jane stared at her, looking for any deception and finding only trust and love. Jane came to her side then and took Kate's hand into hers.

"Thanks, partner." She said as a single tear ran down her cheek, "I don't know what I'd do if I didn't have you."

Kate squeezed Jane's hand tightly, "That's what family is for."

There was a knock on the door and Ryan and Esposito came in bearing flowers. Jane quickly pushed her emotions down and hid behind her usual shield of attitude and sarcasm.

"You brought flowers? Really? You want to make her feel better you should have brought food."

Kate nodded, "The hospital food sucks."

They smiled as Esposito held up a small paper bag that looked greasy.

Jane smirked, "Now were talking."

* * *

A few days later,

Kate took in a deep breath and held it while Dr. Tenshi Isogi held his stethoscope to her back near her lungs.

"And out please." He said, his voice holding only the slightest hint of his Japanese ancestry.

Kate let her breath go smoothly. She shivered at the cold air that kissed her bare skin due to the open back of the surgical gown. She turned her head to look at her partner. Jane bit her lip nervously as she watched the surgeon who had removed the bullet from Kate's abdomen.

Nathaniel Murphy's shot had penetrated into Kate at nearly the same place as Jane's scar on her stomach. But since Kate had been wearing her Kevlar vest at the time and the distance was far greater than Jane's incident with Bobby Marino, the bullet had only passed through her muscles, barely, and luckily caused no real damage to her internal organs.

Kate had been blessed, a fact not lost on either of them.

"Have you been experiencing any pain?" he asked.

"Yeah," she said, "Tends to happen when you get shot."

Dr. Isogi laughed, "I imagine so, but of course I was referring to anything different from my last visit."

"No, just the aches and soreness, some sharp pain if I flex or turn the wrong way."

He nodded as he walked around the bed Kate was sitting on, "could you please lift up your gown so I can see the wound.

Kate arched an eyebrow at Jane and smirked before she complied. As Dr. Isogi pulled the gauze pad away Jane rolled her eyes and looked at the puckered red mark that marked the bullet's passage. Black stich work held it closed and it was clearly healing well. Dr. Isogi pressed two gloved fingers to the edge of the wound and nodded again.

"Al right Miss Beckett." He said as he reapplied the gauze and stood up. "I believe that your injury is healing sufficiently to release you but no strenuous activities or gun fights. The abdomen is a highly flexible area and you risk tearing your sutures out with even the most basic of task so be careful."

He turned to wave a hand at Jane, "I am sure that your partner would be happy to come over and assist you should you need it."

Jane snorted loudly, "Yeah, just give me a call and I'll just drive right over."

Dr. Isogi eyed her, "I don't believe you understand how painful this kind of wound can be Miss Rizzoli."

Kate laughed then clutched her side with a slight groan, "You'd lose that bet, doc." She nodded to her friend.

Jane turned to her side and pulled up her shirt enough to reveal the entry and exit scars over her right hip, "I think I might know something about it."

Dr. Isogi sucked in a sharp breath, "I would say so. He stared at the large patch of rough skin on Jane's back for an uncomfortable second, "Large caliber, close range. How far away was the shooter?"

Jane dropped her shirt. "The gun was touching when it was fired."

Isogi's eyes went wide, but something about Jane's look and the tone in his voice told him to drop it. He nodded before, "Then if your partner needs you, I expect you to be there."

"Jane lives with me and my boyfriend, doc." Kate said, "She was joking about driving over."

"Ah. He said, "Sorry. I'm afraid I am not very good at understanding sarcasm."

"Speaking of boyfriends," Jane snarled, "Why the hell isn't Rick here yet? I mean you've been shot for god's sake."

"It's because of the snow storm up there. Rick's flight was delayed." Kate said as the Doctor collected his things to leave, "He'll be home tonight or tomorrow."

"A book signing in Seattle," Jane started pacing again. "I want to shoot that ex-wife slash publisher of his."

Kate snorted, "Sorry to disappoint, but I have dibs on that."

With the conversation turning to gunplay and ex-wives, Dr. Isogi made a quiet getaway to finish Kate's release forms while Jane went on a tirade. The door latch clicking in place was the only sound that marked his exit. Jane stopped and grinned at the sound, "Told you," she smirked.

"Yeah, you did. I'll pay up when I get home." Kate chuckled.

"So when does Alexis come home from that field trip?" Jane asked.

"Friday." Kate said, "Though I'm not looking forward to telling her I was shot again." She instinctively touched the old scar near her heart. "She's going to be all over me, this time. I guarantee you that she'll be worse than all of the stories you told me of Angela combined."

"Yeah but that's because she loves you." There was a hint of understanding and regret in her voice.

"Hey now, she adores you, you know that." Kate said, "Her Aunt Jane, who's so funny."

Jane laughed at the conversations she's had with the sharp redhead who was in every way the exact opposite of her father, "I like the kid. She's so smart it's like talking to…" Jane froze at her slip. She hadn't meant that to come out.

Shame filled her as she thought about the beautiful Alexis Castle who was the one she had drawn on when she had been missing Maura unbearably. It was something Jane hadn't meant for anyone to know. Alexis was young and impressionable and was far too precious to know that Jane had leaned on her when she needed some serious google mouth.

"Like talking to the other genius you know?" Kate said as she pulled off the hospital gown. "We all know that and so does Alexis. Why do you think she comes to you more than anyone else about all that advanced scientific stuff she's learning? She wants to help and she knows that you take comfort in her technical babble about stuff that's way over all of our heads." She slipped on her bra and t-shirt as she spoke.

And just like that, Jane's illusion of secrecy was dispelled. She looked sheepish, "Jesus. I didn't think anyone knew, especially Alexis."

As she slipped on her pants she playfully glared at Jane, "Hello, the girl has a hundred IQ points on any of us. She's the one who figured it out and told us how it was making a difference. Rick and I agreed that you were doing a lot better since you started helping her with her homework."

"Help." Jane scoffed as she plopped down in the chair against the wall, "She leaves me behind right after the words 'Question One'. I couldn't understand any of it no matter what subject, even when she took that ballistics quiz. I'm a cop for cripes sake, and it was all geek greek to me."

Kate smiled as she slipped her boots over her socks. "Yeah, me too, but it got you out of your room. So I asked her to google you to death whenever you needed it."

Jane smiled at her friend. She hadn't passed judgment on her, in fact quite the opposite. Kate had urged Alexis to wow Jane with her intelligence. Jane realized something about the Castles and Beckett. They were family and healing Jane had been a family affair. Ordinarily Jane would be indignant over this but from somewhere deep inside, she felt loved. A family that she wasn't born in to had taken her in anyway and loved, and healed her.

_I know now, _she thought, _Maura, I know no how you felt about us Rizzoli's. _The thought brought home the sadness Maura must have every day she was gone from Boston.

Kate got up slowly, finally dressed, and grabbed her partner's hand, "C'mon. Let's go find Isogi so we can go home."

Jane nodded and stood up.

It only took a few minutes to find Dr. Isogi who had Kate sign her name three separate times before handing her the discharge papers and walking them to the elevator. They tried to put her in a wheel chair but Kate had promptly said her partner was still armed and the nurse backed away with the chair in tow.

Just before they got to the lobby, Jane froze. Kate paused to look at her.

Jane had her nose turned up and was inhaling gently. Her eyes opened wide as her gaze dropped and Kate could see her searching the faces around them.

"What?"

It was only a hint. A vague whiff of a perfume and shampoo she knew so well. It was so brief Jane wasn't even sure if she had really inhaled it. As she glanced from face to face, searching for hazel eyes and honey blond hair, her heart clenched tight. But after a few seconds she had gotten nowhere, she breathed out and let it go, her heart aching in protest but complying.

_Did I really smell her?_ Jane shook her head, _No. she wouldn't be here. Your being stupid Rizzoli_

Nice to know her inner monologue was back in full swing too_._

She glanced at her partner who was sending her a message when their eyes met briefly.

_What is it?_ Kate sent. She looked around with Jane.

"It's nothing," she said, "Just my imagination getting away from me."

Jane started waking to the door where her cruiser was parked, Kate watched her partner, unsure of what just happened but it had thrown Jane for a second and she had gone ridged too.

Kate shook her head and followed her partner. If Jane had said it was nothing than she believed her.

* * *

Rick paced nervously outside of the briefing room at the 12th while Kate and Jane were inside. It was Jane's first shooting board in the NYPD.

He had run right over to the station after his plane had landed at Kennedy and had been told that Kate and Jane were in the shooting board by Kevin Ryan.

Knowing better than to interrupt a very private procedure the NYPD conducted on all death shootings Rick had been tearing up the cheap carpeting outside the room where such procedures were performed.

Kate had come out first and Rick had wrapped her up in his arms and kissed her, passionately in front of half of the precinct.

"I was so worried about you." He said into her ear as he embraced her tightly.

Kate had regained her composure after seeing him and gently pushed him back, "I was shot, Rick and you're squeezing me? Goddamn it, have you no heart for an injured officer?"

Her tone was playful and he took it in gest as he raised his hand to his heart, "Awe, c'mon Kate. You're going to wound my little heart but I guess I can yell at you for getting shot again."

She smiled, "Later." She turned back towards the door, her thoughts now focused on her partner. Rick put an arm around her lightly and waited for Jane to come out.

"So you'll tell me all about this later but how is Jane doing?" he asked, "She had your back but how is she dealing with it all?"

"She's going to be just fine, Rick." There was something in her voice that caught his attention.

Before he could ask about it, the door opened and Jane walked out.

Rick took a step back as he realized that this wasn't the broken woman who had been living in his home for the last nine months. This was the Jane Rizzoli he had heard Kate talk about with such pride and admiration. Her eyes were cool and confident as she walked with the swagger he had only heard about.

She looked at him, "Castle, glad you could finally make it. You got Kate duty tonight."

He looked at her in astonishment, "Kate duty?"

Jane passed a look to Kate before turning back onto Rick, "Yep. She drove me nuts last night, tossing and turning. Whining and moaning about painkillers. I barely got any sleep so you're up tonight." She said, her voice broaching no argument.

As she headed back to the bullpen, Kate stopped next to him.

"Who was that and what happened to Jane?" he asked Kate.

"She's back." She said, "I've got a lot to catch you up on but she's back, Rick." She lean against the wall as she continued, "I don't get it. We were screwed. I was hit and she was staring at me, and all of a sudden we clicked and it's like she came back to life. She ran into the fire fight and saved my ass."

"What did you do?" he asked.

Kate shook her head, "Hell if I know." She looked thoughtful for a second and shook it away.

"Huh," Castle said as Kate straightened and headed to the bullpen, "She's not going to stay like this, is she?"

Kate paused, "You're not nervous, are you Castle?" there was a smirk growing on her face.

"Yeah, I am." he smiled and couldn't help but rib her a little, "I kinda like it."

"Just wait," she said with a mischievous glint, "It gets better."

She wiggled a finger at him and pointed to Jane at her desk, they watched in silence.

Detective Marks, one of the 12th's jerks, leisurely walked by Jane's desk, "Hey Rizzoli I ain't seen you crying in a while. You butching up or something?" he said with a gloat.

One look from Jane shut him up, "You want to eat that coffee cup?" Her calm husky voice was cold as ice, and her eyes turned dark, showing him that she _would_ make him eat it. Marks's step took on a more urgent pace as he bypassed the coffee machine.

Kate smiled as she turned back to Castle, "I finally got to her, Rick. That's the Jane Rizzoli I know."

Castle patted his coat as he stared in awe. "Where's my note pad?" he said as he started digging into his pockets.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Damn My Muse is on a roll!**

**Okay MJ, This one's for you. KB writing, I just can't see her getting all in depth like Rick, more observational with a touch of personal but then again Jane is her best friend, her sister. So I'll dial it up a notch. Lemme know how I did. Lemme know on the redo.**

**Z, The main body moves forward from that point, but the two main flashbacks land right before Jane goes to NYC, The Fight and the airport. Only exception is the two references from LETO and the Diary entries pertain to the story so they're not necessarily in order. LETO takes place within a two week span 2 years before R&I and 1 year before Castle and is used as an establisher for the first year of the Rizzoli Beckett Benson Stabler friendship.**

**Man the airport scene was rough, I original idea didn't work and since then I rewrote it six times but I think I got it now. I'm not super excited but definitely happy with it. **

**So here we go.**

* * *

_June of '12_

_ Really, I don't know where to begin with this…_

_ I really don't do the diary thing and haven't since I was twelve but Rick and his stupid diary idea. I can't understand how he irritates me to the point I want to shoot him but somehow makes me love him all that more and I'm going to say it, this thing is the most ridiculous idea he's ever had and the last thing Jane would ever want is a catalogued record of her pain._

_ I know he means well and I told him I wouldn't help him beyond telling him about Jane when he's not around and yet I got suckered into writing in this stupid book. How you ask, that's easy…_

_ Richard Castle for all his wealth and influence isn't law enforcement so he's not welcome at LETO. The Law Enforcement and Tactical Operations Expo in Springfield, Illinois. So Rick asked me to take the book and put a few things in it about Jane. Sometimes I really hate how much I love him…_

_ …jerk._

_…and you're not ruggedly handsome_

_ So this was where I met her for the first time. She was at the end of the bar pissed off over a bad housing situation on post. I went over to try and cheer her up because she was scaring my bartender. Figured out pretty quick that I liked her. Even if she was from Boston._

_ After I broke through that New England ice I had her join myself, Liv Benson and Elliot Stabler at the table and despite an incident between us over the Yanks losing to the Sox, she fit right in. Even when we headed to the bar and some lowlife prick from LAPD copped a feel of my ass, Jane laid him out before I could react. We were friends from that point on and she always stayed in our building. When our friend Colin, who runs the LETO event every year, came up with an awesome combat simulator, Jane and I teamed up and took on the contest._

_ We won._

_ We kept in touch through emails and texts. I started telling her about the annoying author who was following me around and she'd tell me about her genius Medical Examiner best friend. But we always looked forward to June when we'd come back here. Oh sure we met up a few times a year when the Yankees played the Red Sox, in either city. That was always fun because neither of us was the type to hide our loyalties. _

_ Usually someone in the stands wanted to start something over one of our team's apparel. Until they figured out we were cops. If that didn't work, our Glocks definitely kept them away. But Springfield, Fort Justice. That was where we got to hang out for two weeks straight. Colin, Olivia, Elliot until he left, Jane and I. It was a blast._

_ And this was where we found ourselves again this June. Like every year I rode out on my Softtail but because Jane didn't want to sit bitch for the fifteen hour ride, we went over to the dealer I get my bike serviced at and rented her a black Sportster for the trip. Even though Jane is the one who is into women, I have to admit, she looked sexy as hell on that bike especially after I hooked her up with my old riding leathers. Of course Jane loved the ride even though she had to stop twice as much as I for gas. I've got almost twice the fuel capacity as a Sportster. It took us a little longer than it would by myself but I didn't care. Riding with Jane was fun and I look forward to next year. Jane want's to rent a Softtail like mine but she likes the chrome of the Springer. _

_We arrived to LETO and for the first time Jane was sporting an NYPD badge. Colin had given her crap about it since he was also from Boston but after a quick talk with him about Jane and Maura he let it go. When we weren't in the CQB (Close Quarters Battle) simulator, Jane spent the majority of her days outside with Colin, learning hand to hand combat techniques. Colin said it's good for her because she seems to have lost some inner balance and that most of these fighting techniques will help her find that again. As a former Spec Ops weaponry and hand to hand combat instructor, Colin would know about balance._

_Since Elliot quit his job at SVU and disappeared, Liv came alone for the first time since I've known her and I guess her new partner is some young kid that she really didn't care for… Liv isn't really one for change._

_ Everyone has noticed the changes in Jane and we're all worried about her. She's been spending time with Olivia in her room almost every night since we got here and I've been starting to think there's more than friendship there but Olivia swears there's nothing going on and that Jane wouldn't want her to talk about what does goes on in there. That Jane is in no condition for any type of romance and she had respected Liv when it had happened to her._

_ I left it alone after that because I trust Liv to take care of Jane and her needs._

Maura sat the book down again. Every time she reads about Jane's time at LETO she always feels a twinge of jealousy at how close Jane and Olivia were becoming. She knew what went on in that room. Olivia Benson was taking care of Jane's hands. It was irrational, she knew, but it was something that only she had been allowed to do. And since Jane had been months without someone there, she also knew it would take Olivia days of nightly contact to soothe that ache.

Of course, Olivia had always taken care of Jane's hands when she went there and Maura was the reason why. The very fight Kate had written of was the reason Maura had pushed Jane to get someone to take care of them. Olivia was the only other person Jane let tend her hands.

Maura also knew from the book that after this LETO, Olivia tended Jane in New York every Thursday.

She stuck the picture of her and Jane back into the page and closed the book before sliding it into her messenger bag. She tried not to dwell on it but she couldn't help herself. Although she had met Detective Beckett on her few visits to Boston for the mentioned baseball games she had never once met Detective Benson. Oh she had heard Jane talk about her, how Jane had said Olivia thought Jane was gay when they first met. At the time the thought was ridiculous. Now, not so much.

Maura could admit to herself that she had fallen for Jane and she was almost certain Jane felt the same way. Her actions in the airport had said something to that affect and once again, Maura was sitting at her desk on her lunch break, in her class room turned morgue, reading about Jane and regretting her actions.

Maura did not like what if conversations but one plagued her every second she wasn't teaching or performing autopsies.

_What if I had let her finish talking in that airport._ Maura had faced that thought ever since she had calmed down on the flight to Mali. She still didn't have an answer but she knew who could answer it but Jane's actions at NYPD proved that she didn't even want to see Maura.

The thought had brought a tear to her eye as her memories of Logan International airport haunted her.

"I swear, Maura." Ian had said as they stood in line for their boarding passes, "I never understood what you have ever seen in that dreadful woman."

"Ian, you need to stop talking about her like that." She had said sharply.

He had been getting on her nerves with his constant complaints about Jane and her character but Maura had suspected that it had more to do with what little ego Ian had was bruised by the fact he got beat up by a woman half his size and drunk to the point she could barely stand. Maura had tried to be patient but his constant polite berating of Jane had worn it out.

"Honestly, Maura, she had no business coming to your home in such an inebriated state."

She turned on him, "That is my best friend you are talking about Ian and she is a part of my life more so than you are and I've had enough. You won't talk about her in this fashion anymore." Her eyes burned with anger and Ian turned away.

"I am sorry, Maura." He said, "I just want what's… …Awe, bloody hell!"

Ian was staring at the doors that lead to the street curb. Maura turned and gasped as Jane ran through those doors and stopped to look around. It didn't take more than a second for Jane to spot her. Relief washed over the brunettes face as she briskly walked up to her friend.

Jane grabbed Maura's shoulders, "Thank god I caught you before you left."

Maura shook of the gesture. Despite Ian's railings against Jane she had in fact picked a fight with Ian. A fight that ended with Frankie being knocked out, "If you're not apologizing than I don't want to hear it, Jane."

She took a deep breath, "I'm sorry, Maur. I really am. I've been going through some stuff and I need to tell you about it."

"Does any of it have to do with attacking me?" Ian said sharply, "I do believe I am owed an apology too."

Jane's eyes snapped fire at him, "No but if you don't butt out, we're going to go round two and this time I'm sober."

Ian bristled, Maura cut him off.

"JANE! How dare you!" she said indignantly, "This is not acceptable behavior in any sense what so ever!"

Jane turned to her and realized she was really starting to piss of Maura. "I'm sorry, okay? I am. I know I've been off but you need to understand why?"

"There is no why, Jane!" she said loudly, "You came over to my house completely drunk, attacked Ian, and then knocked your own brother unconscious. There is no excuse what so ever for your behavior."

"I know Maura and I'm sorry!" she said.

A young woman at the ticket counter called out, "Miss, your next in line please."

Maura turned away from Jane and headed to the counter. As she reached into her purse her hand was grabbed firmly. She looked at Jane.

"Please, Maura." her eyes were pleading, "Don't go with him."

Maura jerked her hand out of Jane's and retrieved her passport, "I have to Jane. I made a commitment and I can't just walk away from it."

"You made a commitment to go off into the African jungle with a man who uses you like a sex doll whenever he's in town and I can't let you be hurt by him!"

Maura turned on her, "How dare you!" She was furious now, "How dare you assume you have any say what so ever about what I do!"

"How dare you, Maura." She said with equal anger, "Do you even remember the last time this prick left. All those things you said about why you didn't like me being with Casey were true. Every one of them and you wished I had listened to you and in the end so did I. Now I'm here trying to tell you something, something that can change everything we have for the better and keep you from making the same mistake I did. Everything! Every! Thing! you hated about Casey is standing right there next to you. C'mon Maura, he uses you like his own personal whore!"

SLAP!

Jane's face exploded with pain and she saw stars. She blinked, eyes wide, stunned that Maura had slapped her. Maura was equally stunned and it had brought her out of her anger.

Jane took a step back, tears had started running down both cheeks. "So it's okay if you hit someone but not me." She rubbed her cheek but didn't stop her tears.

Maura regretted her actions, instantly. Never had she thought she would ever slap her best friend.

"Jane." Maura put her hand to her mouth, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have…"

"No." Jane said softly in disbelief.

Maura watched in disbelief as Jane's emotions changes so fast.

As second later Jane's voice was louder, cracking with sadness, "No." she took another step back and raw, unfettered despair filled the room as she screamed, "No, goddamn it, NO!"

"Jane," Maura reached for her but Jane frantically took a few more steps away, "Jane, please. Don't!"

"I'm sorry, Maura." She said in sheer agony, "I didn't know. I didn't know I already lost you."

Jane bolted for the doors. She was out before Maura could wrap her head around Jane's words.

_Already lost you!_ The words echoed in her mind.

"Jane! Come back, please!" Maura shouted, "You can't leave me until you tell me what you meant, JANE!"

She dropped her bags and ran out to the curb just in time to see the black Crown Victoria zooming away.

Maura fell to her knees on the sidewalk and softly pleaded to the fading car, "Please don't leave me, Jane."

"Dr. Isles?"

The voice snapped her out of her memories, "Yes?"

It was the schools secretary, Beatrice Dobbs, "Dr. Isles are you alright?"

Maura noted the concern on her face and realized she had been crying again. Ten months later and her heart was every bit as wounded as it was that day, "Yes, Beady, I was just thinking about home."

It was as close to the truth Maura would go.

Beady nodded, "I get that way too sometimes, though I don't seem to miss it as much as you do." She pulled a tissue from the desk and handed it to her.

"I miss the people I new mostly," another half-truth but sufficient to keep away the hives.

"Good people, huh?"

She thought of Jane and a fresh tear rolled out, she dabbed at it, "The best but I really don't want to discuss it."

"Well, sugar, if you change your mind, you know where I'm at."

She nodded slowly, "Is there something I can do for you Beady?"

The older, heavy set black woman handed her a sealed file folder, "Dr. Laiman wanted me to thank you for your assistance on the Baker autopsy and Professor Gregory Stokes from Columbia U wanted me to confirm the dates you offered to fill in for him. Also an FBI Agent Gabriel Dean sent this over, he said he wanted you to go over the medical information for some kind of case he's working on."

Maura paused at the name. Dean was the one who nearly got her biological father killed during Maura's second undercover operation. It was only Jane's perfect aim that had not ended Paddy Doyle's life. As for Agent Dean, he had taken a shot in the leg that day and Maura wanted to finish the job her father started.

Maura handed the folder back, "Forward this to the Jeffersonian Institute in Washington DC, care of the Medico Legal Department and should Agent Dean call again, please inform him that I have no intentions of working with him again. Please tell him he knows why and that I suggest he not try to push the issue by visiting in person. Such action would be quite detrimental to his continued health."

Beady gasped as she heard the anger in her voice. Subtle but so was Dr. Isles. "And Professor Stokes?" She said as she wrote on her notepad.

Maura calmed and opened her email and calendar on her I phone. She reviewed the data, "Please confirm all three dates and tell him I'd be delighted to fill in for him, also express my premature congratulations on his first grandchild. And for Dr. Laiman inform him that anytime I can be of assistance, I am not far away."

Beady nodded as she finished making notes. She was not looking forward to telling the FBI Agent what Dr. Isles had said. She wondered what Agent Dean had done to thoroughly make the kindest, most polite person she had ever met speak with such hatred and malice. If Agent Dean did show up, Beady suspected that he would be the next cadaver on Dr. Isles' table.

* * *

After finishing her paper on biology, Alexis signed her name as Alexis Rodgers, the name she had used for her entire student career before slipping it back into her messenger bag. She then pulled out an exact duplicate, and began to answer the questions again. She laughed at the simple mistakes she had begun to put on the paper.

Kate came out of the kitchen and leaned over her shoulder, "Hey, didn't you just finish that one?"

"Yeah," she said, "But Jane's going to be home soon and you know how she likes to help me with my homework."

Kate smiled warmly before giving the young Castle a good squeeze of the shoulders, "Yeah, but Jane's doing a lot better now, remember? So you might want to make your mistakes a little less obvious or she'll catch on."

Alexis smiled back at her, "Is she really all better?"

There was a sigh, "She's still not where she was but yeah, she's very much like her old self again. You'll see when she gets in."

The young girl nodded and continued on with her paper. Kate returned to the kitchen.

It was another half hour before Jane and Rick came back from the station. Kate grimaced as their raised voices echoed down the buildings hallways. As the lock tumbled open Jane's voice became clear. As soon as the door was shut she backed him into it, shoving a finger in his chest.

"And I've told you this before. You may not put me into one of your goddamn books. You want to use some of my traits for Nikki Heat that's one thing but I'd better never find anyone even remotely resembling me in one of your books or one of your poker buddies will be writing about your disappearance." She paused as she seen Alexis wide eyes.

Only Kate had been able to back him into a corner like that. Kate was right Jane was different.

Jane looked a bit sheepish as she quickly walked to the young redhead. She hugged her warmly, "Hey Kiddo. Sorry about yelling at your dad."

"No, it's okay." She said, "I know he can get stubborn sometimes."

"Huh." He said, "My own flesh and blood turning against me."

"Dad." Alexis whined in a very Jane like way, "How many times have you asked her about this?"

Rick blinked, "a couple?"

Kate eyed him, "In how many days?"

"A couple?"

Jane rolled her eyes, "I shouldn't have yelled at him."_ In front of you, s_he finished in her head.

Alexis turned to her dad, "Dad?"

He stared at them together. Despite his antics, he knew that Jane was a good influence on his only child, every bit as much as Kate was. Both women were strong, independent and driven. Something that he felt Alexis needed in her life. His little girl was as smart as they come but one look at her college curriculum would tell anyone that she lacked a specific direction. He wondered when she would find it and prayed to God that it wasn't joining the Police Department.

"Dad?" She said from Jane's arms, "What are you thinking about?"

He smiled, "How lucky you are to have two amazing women in your life for roll models."

She patted Jane's protective arms and got up to embrace her father, "I think I'm lucky I have you, too?"

He returned her hug, "Damn right! Where else can you get a ruggedly handsome dad like me?"

Jane glanced at Kate who rolled her eyes. Jane smirked as she matched it.

* * *

Even though she was nineteen, Alexis looked forward to her Aunt Jane checking in on her before bed. Sure it was childish but it was a secret they kept to themselves. Of course, Kate knew too but Rick was oblivious most days, preferring to stay out of what he called the "girl's wing". Gram was in Florida with her latest beau. She had said that it was time she moved out to someplace warmer given her age but Alexis suspected that it had more to do with Jane's arrival. That Gram had either somehow resented Kate coddling the other woman while her son slept alone or couldn't stand to hear Jane suffering. Either way, she had moved on without a single negative word about it.

Alexis had just sat on her bed and was looking at the picture of Gram when Jane came in.

"Hey, kiddo." She spotted the picture, "You missing your Gram again?"

"Yeah." She said softly, "But she'll be back for thanksgiving."

Jane sat next to her and slipped an arm over her shoulder before kissing her temple, "Yeah."

The air in the room was heavy with tension, Jane had the same suspicions Alexis did, but hers came with guilt.

Alexis broke that tension effortlessly, "So, are you going to Boston for Thanksgiving now that you made up with Frankie and your mom?"

"I thought about it," she said enthusiastically, "but who's going to keep an eye on you? Keep you from getting bored with all those high end snobs your dad hangs out with."

Light laughter erupted from both of them. They knew that a turkey dinner together as a family was more than adequate. Rick, Kate, Gram, Alexis and Jane, that was a family.

"If you don't go, I think you should invite Olivia. She's always nice and I know that with Alex in Africa and the Stablers gone. She could use a good family to spend Thanksgiving with."

"You're not trying to hook us up are you?" with her tone low, Jane eyed the girl seriously.

Alexis blushed.

"Lex we've been through this." Jane whined, "Yeah I love Liv, the same way I love Kate, like a sister."

"But you loved Maura like a sister, too."

"No, I _thought_ I did." She sucked in a deep breath and released it quickly, "But it was never like that and I know that now. I couldn't face it then, being gay I mean. That was one of the hardest things I had to accept about myself. 'Hi I'm Jane Rizzoli, I'm a lesbian and I'm in love with my best friend.' Besides, even if I was open to the idea, Liv needs someone who's can give her their whole heart, everything they have. Liv taught me that and she's just as fractured as I am."

Alexis gave her a duh stare.

"Okay, she's not as fractured as I am." Jane huffed.

"That's not what I was implying,"

"That's not the point, kiddo." Jane said, "Neither of us is ready to move on and if we don't respect that we'll just end up hurting each other more. She taught me that lesson and I remind her of it too."

Alexis nodded as she thought about it and Jane was right. Olivia was just as broken over Alex as Jane was of Maura.

"I'm sorry, Aunt Jane." she said hugging the Italian tightly, "I just wish I could find a way to take the sadness away."

Jane squeezed her back, "I know, girl, but I'm not ready and really, I don't know if I'll ever be again."

Alexis looked up into Jane's chocolate eyes, staring off in the distance with a twinge of sadness.

"You should still invite her."

Jane blinked and the sadness was concealed again, "If I stay, I'll ask her, okay. Anything else your royal pain in my ass wants?" Jane said sarcastically.

As Alexis slid under the covers she smiled, "Sure." She ran her fingers through Jane's long curly locks. "Could you teach me to curl my hair like yours?"

Jane tilted her head to stare down at her, "Little girl, my hair does this naturally. You'd spend days trying to duplicate it." She smirked. She kissed Alexis on the forehead again and stood to leave.

"No, promises but I'll see if I can arrange it with Kate. She knows more about hair than I do. Probably have to take you to that fancy boutique she goes to."

Alexis chuckled as Jane flipped the switch and walked out. As she drifted off to sleep she heard Jane asking Kate how many curling irons she owns.

**A/N: I know that I kind of made Alexis a little childish in this but that's kind of how I can see her, since she and Jane are that close, she'd let her hair down for Jane just as she has helped take care of Jane. So for Jane she can be not the uber-responsible Alexis Castle and kind of take a step back to a young girl with her favorite aunt. Wait till you see what fun traits she got from her Aunt Jane.**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N:****Any references to LETO (my primary story) take place 2 years prior to R& I and 1 year before Castle unless otherwise noted. **

**However, It is a _total divergence_ from cannon from an undisclosed point after R&I season 3, Rockmund nut ball episode, and only references Castle after Beckett is healed from her shooting in Castle season 4. I deliberately left out any cannon from either series after that point because I haven't seen either passed what is mentioned above and I don't want to contradict the fine writers of each show. Haven't done a huge amount of research on SVU beyond my main story so I'll have no solid references there.**

**As far as Alexis at Columbia U, I had to look it up and I know I'm jumping a year or two but trust me, it worked better. So strap in and hold on, were going in. **

* * *

Alexis was one of the last students to walk in to her biology course while in the company of her best friend Lizzy Beauchamp. Like Alexis, Lizzy was also from a wealthy family and held high marks in all of her classes. The daughter of a Wall Street stockbroker and his symphony violinist wife, Lizzy had been groomed her entire life to come to Columbia U to be a Doctor. It was something of a sore spot with her since she preferred Pre-Law more than Pre-Med. But knowing her academic score was reflective of her abilities, she had capitulated this year to her parents.

Next year she planned on applying to Harvard, but a good medical base would grant her a greater understanding of Medical Law so she studied in earnest.

"So did you hear the latest on Old Stoker?" additionally Lizzy could be a gossip. "I heard he disappeared for a few days for some medical stuff. Maybe he's getting a pacemaker."

Alexis sighed, "You really need to quit gossiping if you do become an attorney. Dr. Stokes went to visit his daughter in Houston so he can be there for her child's birth."

"How do you know?" she asked.

"Dr. Antonio was talking about it to Professor Logan this morning in the lab." She said as she took her seat.

"So who do you think is going to fill in for him?"

"Dr. Antonio was saying that they had a prominent doctor from a hospital coming in today but I didn't catch a name. But they probably over exaggerated anyway." Alexis could do a little gossip too.

"Students, please take your seats." A feminine voice called out from the back of the class.

Alexis turned to find a beautiful woman around Kate and Jane's age walk down the right side aisle carrying a messenger bag. It was not what Alexis had expected. She had been estimating some grey haired man with a slacking build and over inflated ego.

What she got was an attractive female, wrapped in expensive silk blouse and equally expensive knee length skirt with four inch heels. Her honey blond hair was stylishly curled and her hazel eyes were astounding. Her clothing was well fitted and hugged a toned and endowed figure Alexis wished she had.

"Good morning class. Dr. Stokes wasn't able to be here today because he is with his family celebrating the birth of his very first grandson."

She turned to look around at the class and Alexis started pulling out her tablet and computer.

"I will be substituting for him for the next three days and before we begin I thought I should introduce myself." She smiled warmly, "I am a Medical Doctor but my field of study is Medical Examiner and Pathology. Currently I am also a professor at Icahn Medical School at Mount Sinai Hospital, just down the street and my name is Dr. Maura Isles."

A loud crash sounded near the back of the room . Maura took two steps to the right to see a pretty girl with an unruly mane of red curls sitting in the aisle she had just walked down. Her chair was laid on its back and her school materials were scattered around her.

"Are you okay, Miss…?

"Ca.." she cut herself off from her near slip. "Kay, I'm okay."

"Alright, Kay." She said as she started up the aisle, "would you like someone to look at you."

She scrambled to her feet ant there were muted chuckles, "No, I'm okay and it's Alexis. Alexis Rodgers."

She quickly righted her chair and began to pick up her things, scrambling to put them back on the desk.

"All right Miss Rodgers, but if you need to go to the med station, I understand."

Alexis stacked her laptop and tablet on her desk and turned to her. "No Mau-err, Dr. Isles. I'm fine, really." She sighed as she rubbed her hands together, "I just lost my balance sitting down."

Maura put a hand on the young girls shoulder but she had caught the girl trying not to use her first name, as if she was familiar, "Well please be careful, Miss Rodgers. I haven't lost a student yet and I would hate to tarnish that record." She smiled warmly but something about those sea blue eyes told her that Miss Alexis Rodgers wasn't being honest about her fall.

_Since she was most likely embarrassed at such a public fall she wouldn't wish to discuss it openly in class._ Maura knew she would have to enquire further after class. "So as I was saying, I'm Dr. Isles…"

As Dr. Isles headed back toward the podium, Alexis couldn't help but stare.

Lizzy elbowed her, "Girl, what's wrong with you? You fell flat on your ass there."

Alexis hadn't even blinked, "I'm fine."

Lizzy elbowed her again, "seriously, what's up. You know her or something?"

"Leave it alone, Lizzy, just leave it alone." She tried to focus on getting her stuff in order while Dr. Isles went through a brief outline of her credentials, far briefer than most of the professors had when introducing themselves but Alexis wasn't listening, she didn't have to, she knew Maura Isles history as well as the doctor did, courtesy of her Aunt Jane's bragging about how Alexis Castle could be the Next Maura Isles, the most brilliant woman Jane had ever met.

The very woman who broke her Aunt Jane's heart.

* * *

As the class ended Maura stood up from the small desk and called out to the students who were packing up to leave, "Remember that the Cellular Biology Quiz is on Friday and Professor Stokes will be back on Monday."

She took a deep breath, "Miss. Rodgers could you stay for a minute?"

Alexis cringed as she almost made it out the door but got caught before she could escape. As the other students filed out there was the usual snickering and banter about how Miss Perfect had finally gotten in trouble but Alexis didn't care because she had a good idea what was about to happen. Lizzy gave her a sympathetic glance.

She sat down at her desk and waited for the others to finish leaving, Dr. Isles approached her then.

She calmly sat down at the desk across the aisle, hands folded neatly in her lap, "Are you alright Miss Rodgers?"

Alexis turned to stare at her and tried to keep her emotions off her face, "Yes, doctor. I'm fine."

"Because I have read Professor Stokes notes on all of his students and he is quite proud of you. His notes constantly refer to your focus and attention to be unrivaled in his class but what I have seen today was anything but focused and attentive."

Alexis gulped, "I am sorry, ma'am. I didn't mean to stare. I've just heard a lot about you and…"

"And?" she said patiently.

"And the woman I see isn't the same woman I have heard about over the last few years. I am trying to reconcile the differences."

Maura nodded, "Hero worship isn't something that is easily reconciled." She said, "regardless of all of the things you may have heard I am still just a person, just like you. The differences in the person and the hero can be quite extreme."

_Hero isn't the word I'd use, _she thought. "Yeah, I really should be going."

Maura stared at her nervous fidgeting, but her breath caught as she bit her lower lip close to the corner of her mouth. She then noticed the girls red hair was _styled_ like the wild untamed curls Jane had naturally. The similarities were unnerving to Maura.

"I like the way you style your hair," she said warmly, "it reminds me of someone I used to know. Do you do that yourself or does someone style it for you?"

_Gah, now she wants me to talk about Aunt Jane to her face._ "My soon-to-be step mom and my aunt did it for me this morning." She twitched nervously and then there was that lip bite again.

Maura almost fell out of her seat when the girl started rubbing her palms with her fingertips. Alexis noticed what she was doing and quickly shoved her hands behind her back.

"Dr. Isles, I really have to go." She said gathering up her messenger bag. "It was nice to finally meet you."

Maura played a hunch, something she never did, "Just out of curiosity, how did you hear about me and my work."

Alexis froze at the door. She couldn't look back, she wanted to lie but she had too much integrity, "My Aunt." She turned around, her blue eyes intense. "She was a big fan of yours."

Maura stared at her, "I swear the way you are looking at me tells me that you know me in some way that is not academic."

Alexis rolled her eyes, "Really?" in a Jane tone, deliberately.

Maura's eyes narrowed at the attitude, "I am sorry Miss Rogers but I don't recall ever meeting you or any other Rodgers in recent memory so I am at a loss as to why you are giving me such a disapproving tone."

Alexis stepped back towards the door, "Well, Doctor Maura Isles, I apologize for giving you a disapproving tone. I will endeavor to improve my attitude and attentions for the remainder of your tenure here." She turned to leave before she really got going.

"Excuse me." Maura stood, "I truly do not know what I could have done to earn such disrespect from you but as your professor, however brief, you will not use that tone with me."

Alexis smirked at her with everything she had, "Really, Maur?" and walked out the door.

Maura was stunned at the smirk and the words, both of which only one other had ever given her.

Maura ran out the door after the girl, "Alexis."

Alexis dropped her head as she thought she had gotten away, again. She turned around to face Dr. Isles. "Only one other person has ever called me Maur. How could you possibly know that?"

"I told you, my Aunt." She said.

Maura took her by the arm and gently pulled her back into the class room.

Once inside she let go and stared at the young girl she had a feeling but she needed an answer, "You keep saying your aunt tells you about me but the only one who does the very same things you do doesn't have a niece, only a nephew and he's still an infant so tell me right now how you know me."

Alexis sighed, "I love my Dad, and I love his fiancé, but the one person that means everything to me is my aunt. She came to live with us almost a year ago, because of you. I should actually thank you because she's been an amazing influence in my life but I'd trade it all and give her up if you would just make it right. You want to know why I don't like you, because I've heard my Aunt _Jane _crying every night over you, begging God to make it stop hurting."

Maura deflated and sat down, "Castle, you're Alexis Castle." She turned away, unable to face the girl in the diary.

Alexis cringed at Maura's tone and the slouch in her shoulders. It wasn't in her nature to deliberately cause someone pain and obviously Aunt Jane was still a tender spot for her.

"I'm sorry," she said softly, "I didn't mean to come at you like that."

Maura whispered, "Believe me, I deserve no less."

It was that regretful tone that had tugged at Alexis's heart. Aunt Jane loved this woman and obviously Dr. Isles regretted her actions in the airport. Alexis's mind whirled at the new information and needed more.

"Can I ask you something Dr. Isles?" a small nod from Maura, "Why haven't you gone to her?"

"I did," she said softly, "I did. I went to her and Detective Beckett's work. She took one look at me and left."

_How come I haven't heard about this? _She thought. "When?"

"Before classes started, I wanted to apologize to her."

Alexis put her hands on her hips, "I wondered why she stayed locked in her room that night."

"I thought she hated me. So I left." Maura sighed.

"Well, for your information, my Aunt Jane has never once hated you even after you shattered her heart. I don't know a lot about what happened to you and her but I know that as much as you seem to regret whatever it was. Please, believe me when I tell you, she's had it a lot worse. I never once doubted my Dad's love for me, nor Kate's, but Aunt Jane has made sure that I never, ever felt unloved. Even when she could barely breathe without crying she was there for me, making sure she knew how much I was loved, and she's fiercely protective of me, scarily so. I love and adore Aunt Jane and I'm very protective of her, too. I'm sorry I came off hard on you, but all I can see is the woman who hurt the most wonderful person in my life."

Maura nodded at the young girl's words but Alexis waited a few minutes before standing up to leave. Maura caught her hand.

"Please, Alexis." She said, "Please tell me. How is she?"

Alexis hesitated. She wanted to jerk her hand away and leave but her heart ached at the pleading voice. It was her helping nature that caused her to pull out her iPhone. She opened the picture she had taken this morning before handing it to Maura.

Alexis was in the bathroom dressed for school, she had a wide smile on her face and her blue eyes sparkled in joy. She was flanked on either side by Jane and Kate, also dressed for work in white button up shirt. Jane's sleeves were rolled up to her elbows where Kate's were fastened at the wrist. Both wore black slacks and their badges and guns clipped to their belts.

Both were wielding curling irons as they worked over Alexis's hair into a style that mimicked Jane's unruly mane of black. Jane was posed as if she was trying to pull out a thick strand of hair with the curling iron and was wearing a goofy strained face. Kate was watching her partner in an opened mouthed laugh.

Maura touched the screen gently.

"She's doing a lot better." She paused, "She still cries before bed and sometimes when I ask about something related to you she gets misty but she's a lot better now than she was a few weeks ago."

Maura looked up, "A few weeks ago?"

A pained look came over Alexis before she spoke again, "Kate was shot again in the line of duty. I don't really know what happened but I know that they were in a bad situation and didn't think they were going to make it out. Aunt Jane wouldn't leave Kate and she ended up killing the guy. Kate says wherever Aunt Jane's heart was hiding it just… came back that day."

An image from the night Jane had killed Hoyt ran through her mind and the cold brutality that she had displayed when she drove the scalpel into his heart. It was the scariest thing Maura had ever seen short of the moment Hoyt had cut Jane's neck right in front of her. Maura had always taken comfort in knowing that Jane would kill to protect her. Now she imagined Jane having that look in her eyes while defending Kate and what that meant.

Jane made Kate her family and this girl was her family too.

"I'm happy that she's better." Maura looked up into those ocean blue eyes and she couldn't hold back her tears anymore, "She's amazing, Alexis. Please, whatever you do, don't do what I did. Don't ever lose her loyalty. It's not something she ever gives out lightly and once it's gone. You may never get it back. Always show her what she means to you and never hide it from her. She deserves to know."

The tears on her cheeks and pain in her voice made Alexis spin. _This is not a woman who regrets losing her best friend. This is a woman who lost her soulmate. _Alexis's eyes widened,_ JUST LIKE AUNT JANE!_

Alexis reached into her messenger bag and pulled out her pack of pocket Kleenex she kept for her aunt and pulled one for the doctor, "May I ask you something personal, Dr. Isles?"

Maura nodded slowly taking the offered tissue.

"Do you love my Aunt Jane?" she asked nervously, "Like, as in really love her, like…"

Maura smiled sweetly as she dabbed at her cheeks, "With all of my heart."

Alexis reeled at the revelation. She handed Maura the packet and jogged out of the classroom.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: I'm going to be off line for a few days so I kicked this up just for you. My Muse was ecstatic about this chapter but were butting heads on a few others but we'll get it worked out this week I think. **

**Anyway, Better hold on, cause here we go…**

* * *

Friday Evening,

Jane flopped back in the really comfortable chair in Rick's writing office. She pinched the bridge of her nose as she took in all the facts of what Kate had called "Jane's cold case".

For three months, no one she knew had had any kind of contact with Maura Isles. She hadn't spent as much time on it as she would have liked, primarily because she had been solving cases and making amends to her relationship with her family and friends. Frankie had come to town last week and brought some news about Angela and Cavanaugh getting married and Jane had already put her time off request so she could stand up in the wedding, hoping her mother wouldn't make her wear some frilly pink monstrosity.

Frankie had also brought an invitation for Maura, since the Rizzoli matriarch didn't have a forwarding address for the doctor. Jane picked up the envelope and frowned, "Like I know how to find her."

When she had called her mom to tell her that very thing, Angela had simply replied, "Janie, she loves you too. I know it. Nothing will separate you two for long."

_Right, it's only been, what, 10 months? _Jane thought.

The truth was it would be a simple matter for Jane to find Maura. Just put in her full name and birthdate into the Law Enforcement Information Network. Since LEIN had every driver's license in America as well as any criminal information uploaded into it, it would only be a few keystrokes.

But that was abusing her position and in truth, invading Maura's privacy. So the blond knew where Jane worked, and Jane swore that she would not actively seek her out like some kind of stalker.

So instead, she swiped Lanie's medical journals and bulletins for any papers Maura would write. Since the ME was a genius and had a strong tendency to post new articles monthly, it was only a matter of time. _Right, like that's not creepy_. Jane shook her head and shook out her hands, She'd missed her appointment with Liv on Thursday because she and Kate had worked over.

Liv, she thought of her friend who worked on the other side of the borough at the 15th. A detective like her but Olivia worked in the SVU, Jane shuttered at the job. Sex crimes were definitely not her line of investigations. How Liv could stand dealing with that kind of human depravity was still a mystery to Jane.

_I should really give her a call,_ she thought. She hadn't had a chance to catch up with Liv since her promotion to the Commander of SVU on Monday. _But if she and Alex are fighting again, god I don't want to be in that position. _

Yeah, a single lesbian hanging out with a bisexual who's having relationship issues wouldn't be an issue to the very gay ADA she was dating who just so happened to hate Jane, with a passion.

Jane scoffed to herself and texted Liv.** Hey, how's the new job? Alex excited for you?**

It was a second before a reply came, **ON THE JOB, TXT U L8R.**

Jane sighed as she sat, _so much for a distraction_. She thought about heading up to the gym but fighting wasn't what she was really in the mood for so Jane set the journal down and headed for Alexis for some serous talking google.

She was sitting at the kitchen table with her homework spread around. Jane marveled at the mess that she knew the nineteen year old had meticulously placed in a specific order. She leaned over Alexis's shoulder to look at the massive collection of numbers that made up the little genius's calculus assignment. As she watched her solve a massive equation that took up half of the page, Jane couldn't help but feel inadequate. But putting on her best motherly act, Jane squeezed her shoulders.

"Nice job."

Alexis looked over at her, "You didn't get any of that, did you?"

Jane looked at her in indignation, "I'll have you know that I got accepted into BCU right after high school."

Alexis smiled, "So what part did you understand clearly?"

Jane bit her lip, "Solve the equation?"

Alexis laughed and hugged her around the waist, "It's okay, Aunt Jane. This is fifth year calculus and it confuses me too."

Jane jerked in disbelief, "Fifth year Calculus, your only in your first year of College!"

Rick came out of the bedroom with that stupid, cute smile again, "That's my girl. She's been taking college calculus as a freshman in high school."

Jane turned to him and gasped. Rick was clean shaven and dressed in a very expensive black Armani suit that was perfectly tailored to his masculine build. His hair had been carefully done and he looked amazing. This was not the attire of a man taking his fiancé out to a romantic dinner.

Jane regained her composure quickly, "You clean up good, Castle. Not ruggedly handsome but nice anyway."

He rubbed his hands over the suit jacket, "Sophistication and grace is what this rig is for but thank you Jane."

"You look great, Dad." Alexis said, "But why the Armani? I thought you were going to dinner."

"I didn't want to be under dressed." He said as he looked back to the door.

Alexis dropped her pencil and Jane almost collapsed before she made it to a chair as Beckett came out. Jane's hand covered her mouth in awe.

Kate was wearing a gorgeous little black dress from Versace that hugged her every curve like it was made to show them. It draped her body to just below mid-thigh, and complimented the woman's long, shapely legs. She turned on six inch stilettoes in a fashionable turn. Jane's mouth went dry as Kate revealed the open back that started at the bodice that cupped her breasts perfectly. A strap on either side about an inch wide wrapped her shoulders tightly into the dress without hiding the defined muscles on either side but in fact highlighted them. Although the bodice carefully shown Kate's breasts her cleavage was eloquently concealed. The same could not be said about her back.

The open back ran from just the outside of said assets and revealed a great deal of Kate's ribs before dipping back and finally coming to a close sharply at hip level. Kate's sniper scar was clearly visible although the shot she had taken in the warehouse that still sported stiches was not. Jane had to pry her eyes away from her friend's rear, which was clearly on display in that tightly tailored dress.

The dress didn't cling. It hugged her toned and shapely backside. Just as it did every other part of her. Jane forced her eyes up to her friend's head not wanting to embarrass herself with her ogling.

Kate's hair had been pulled loosely to her head with the exception of a few locks that were curled and left to drape. The remainder of her long chestnut hair had been curled to fan out stylishly around the back of her head without detracting from her neckline. Her makeup was perfect in every way, not creating Kate's beauty, just highlighting the natural features of her beautiful face.

Kate's eyes showed satisfaction and amusement as she met Jane's nervous ones, _Thank you Jane._

Jane groaned softly, she'd been caught.

Alexis regained her voice, "Oh my god. You look beautiful." She got up and hugged Kate tightly.

Kate smiled and hugged her back, "Thank you, sweetheart."

Rick smiled smugly, "I still feel underdressed."

Jane snorted, "Boy, the whole world is underdressed next to her."

He slipped his arm around Kate's waist, "True, but she's all mine."

An elbow in the stomach from Kate was the response.

"Ow, what was that for?" He griped as he rubbed his stomach.

"Just keeping you honest, Castle." She said. Her face revealed her amusement.

The look Kate shot Jane told her that she had been looking for a reason to do that all day. Jane smiled at the thought, Kate waiting, on the prowl just to give Rick an elbow. It wasn't hurtful, just an affectionate, and for Kate satisfying, way to keep Rick from letting his ego get away from him.

"Would you be a gentleman for a minute and get my coat?" she asked.

He nodded and moved to the coat closet. Kate came up to Jane and bent over to kiss her friend sweetly on the cheek. A hand on the shoulder reinforced Kate's earlier message of gratitude at Jane's obvious interest. Jane knew Kate had taken it as a compliment that she looked amazing, which she did and it was a compliment.

Kate straightened as Rick came over with the matching coat for the dress. He held it open for her as she stepped into it. She stared into his eyes with lust as she ran her fingers down his jawline.

Rick's pulse sped up at her look and her touch. She was going to mess with him all night long. He grinned as he slipped on his own coat. He enjoyed this game as much as she did.

"Shall we?" He held up his arm in a gentlemanly fashion as Kate retrieved her clutch from the table. She took the offered arm and waved good bye and they headed out the door.

* * *

Jane had just finished cleaning up the kitchen after dinner when her phone started ringing from the table. Alexis picked it up while Jane was washing her hands.

"It's Angela." She said with a smile. "Voicemail or speaker phone?"

"If I don't answer it she'll think I ran away again so pick it up." She growled.

Alexis hit the button, "Detective Rizzoli's office, Alexis Castle speaking."

Jane rolled her eyes again.

_"Hello Alexis Castle."_ The phone blared,_ "Is my Janie around?"_

"I'm here Ma." She said from the sink.

_"Janie, I was calling to let you know that were going to have Christmas as Sean's house this year."_

"Ma, it's not even Thanksgiving yet." She groaned, "And he's my old boss. Couldn't you at least let me get used to this before we start in on the whole Sean's house thing?"

_"Janie, I live with the man." _Angela said, _"and I'm getting married to him."_

She looked to Alexis, "Don't remind me."

_"We'll you're going to be my maid of honor, Jane. The least thing you can do is be nice about it."_

"Yeah, well, I'll work around it, then." Jane wiped her hands on a towel and remembered her google research, "Oh, and before I forget, I have several flight options that put me in Boston the day before Thanksgiving so I need to know when you can pick me up from the airport."

_"Did you find Maura, Jane?"_

A blank look came over Jane, "No, Ma. I haven't."

_"JANE CLEMENTINE RIZZOLI! Don't you dare come home without Maura! You hear me?!"_

Jane stared at the phone with her mouth open, speechless. Alexis stared at Jane.

"Are you kidding me?" she said.

_"Do I sound like I'm kidding?"_ She yelled, _"I mean it Jane, not without Maura and that's final!"_

"MA!" Jane shouted back, "You want me to look all over the world for her? She's probably in Mali with Ian!"

_"Oh believe me, she's not with Ian."_ She said, _"He won't be back around since she broke his nose."_

"What!" Jane leaned over the table, "When did she break his nose!"

_"In Mali,"_ her voice was confused, _"I told you this already, Jane."_

"No you didn't." she shouted, "I'd have remembered that, especially since she got mad when I did it."

_"Janie, she was sober when she did it."_ A pause, _"I thought I told you this when you called me after you met with Frankie."_

Jane sat down and tried to get the phone off of speaker but Alexis grabbed it and sat next to her, Jane eyed her and realized Alexis wanted to hear about it too.

_"Tell me everything." _She said.

A huff over the phone, _"Ian had been trying to seduce her the whole time they were in Mali and Maura was having none of it. I guess he's used to being kind of rough with her so he picked her up and held her against the wall and kissed her, she said that she kneed him in the balls."_

Jane interrupted her, "Teenager present, Ma!"

Alexis glared at her in Rizzoli fashion. Jane smiled at it.

_"Oh, sorry honey, I forgot you were there."_

"It's alright," Alexis said.

"Keep going, Ma." Jane said.

_"Okay, so she knees him in the… groin. And he lets her go and she knocks him right in the nose with the back of her elbow."_

Jane could picture Maura performing the move with perfect clarity. After all, Jane had taught it to her.

_"She tells him to keep all his body parts to himself and that his advances are unwelcome. Once the hospital was up and running, she came home without him."_

Jane stared at the phone in disbelief, "She's not with Ian?"

_"Oh heavens, no Janie. She came back seven weeks early to get back to you."_

Jane's sighed heavily, "And I was gone."

_"And you were gone. She looked for you, Janie. I think there's something there."_

"Yeah, but not from Maura." She said sharply, "Now that I'm out, you want to play match maker with women instead of men."

_"Jane, she came back for YOU! I told her what you said on the front lawn and she broke down right then. You were gone and she chased you down to New York to talk to you. There's something there. A mother knows these things."_

"Ma! If she wanted to see me she would have come back by now. It's been over two months since she came to the station."

_"Jane Clem.."_

"Stop saying that, Ma! You know it's true."

_"I know she's in New York, Jane."_

"Oh yeah, how?"

Alexis got a look on her face and Jane caught it, _Guilt_.

_"Because I know both of my girls and nothing can keep you two apart for long."_

"It's been ten months Ma, think that qualifies as long."

_"Jane I don't care if you have to break every law in the book, don't you dare come home without Maura Isles."_ There was a click and the beep signaling the call had ended.

Jane looked to Alexis, "What?"

Alexis schooled her face, "Haven't you done a LEIN search on her?"

"First off, that would be invading her privacy. Second I can get wrote up for that and I'm saving my write-ups for the jerks who tell the dyke jokes. Third, Captain Gates still doesn't like me and would love to kick me out of Homicide for something like that. And fourth, quit changing the subject and tell me what that guilty look was for."

Alexis looked away, "Do you still love her?"

"Yes and you know that." Jane's eyes narrowed and she leaned into her menacingly, "Why?"

"If you knew where she was, would you go to her?" She turned and Jane gasped at the tears threatening to fall.

"Yeah," She snapped her fingers, "like that."

Alexis got up and stood tall, a single tear slid down her cheek. "Then I guess I should give her back to you."

Jane smirked, "Got Maura Isles in your back pocket, do ya?"

Alexis reached in to her back pocked and pulled a business card out and held it up, Jane took it but didn't stop staring into those blue eyes.

"Yeah, actually I do." She said guiltily

Jane broke the hold and turned to look at the card.

Crisp clean letters spelled out her greatest wish.

**Icahn school of Medicine at Mount Sinai Hospital**

** Manhattan, New York, NY. **

**Dr. Maura Isles MD.**

** Professor of Biology and Forensic Pathology.**

Jane stared in disbelief before glancing up at Alexis.

Her voice was tinged with sadness and barely above a whisper, "When… How… Why did you…" Jane struggled to sit down, clutching the card like a vise.

"She came to Columbia U to fill in for Professor Stokes three days ago." Her voice quivering, "I got her card after I talked to her. I wanted to tell you but I needed to know if she even cared about you."

Jane grabbed her by the shoulders, "Three days? God, Alexis. Why would you keep that from me?"

Alexis's tears broke loose and she started bawling, "Because I love you and I couldn't let you go through all of that again if she didn't love you, too. I love you Aunt Jane and I won't let her hurt you again. I don't want to see you like that ever again."

Jane pulled her into a fierce hug, "Oh Alexis. I understand but you should have let me make that call. It's my job to protect you not the other way around."

"Your wrong." She said as she buried her face into Jane's curls, "it's mine to protect you, too. That's what family does. We look out for each other."

Jane patted her back as she held the young girl. She whispered quietly in her ear, "Thank you. I'll never forget it. Thank you for looking out for me." She hugged her even tighter.

**A:N, so I recapped chapter 1 and realized that Kate hasn't been on the level with Jane, going to be fireworks next chapter, Beckett VS Rizzoli.**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Just a quick throw down of an update here.**

* * *

"SHIT!"

It came from Jane's room on Saturday afternoon. All eyes turned to the hallway as more cussing came from Jane's room. Kate glanced at Rick before she got up from the couch and headed in.

What she found shocked her. Jane's room was torn apart. A year ago that wouldn't be surprising but over the last year, Jane had become a neat freak to try to distract herself from Maura. Ironic, really because Maura was a neat freak who constantly badgered Jane about cleanliness.

"Jane?" she said watching Jane toss her things from her dresser onto the blanket she had torn from her bed.

"Where is it?" her voice was teaming with worry. "Shit!"

"Jane? What are you looking for?" she said as she took a cautious step into the disaster area.

"I lost something important." She shouted. "A business card."

Kate was going to make a crack about having a hundred of them but thought better of it when Jane knocked over Pictures from her night stand in her desperate search.  
Kate came in and took Jane by the shoulders, "Okay, first, calm down. Second where was the last place you know you had it?"

Jane took a deep breath to calm herself before she replied, "I had it on my night stand last night before bed. Now it's gone and I can't replace it." Kate stared at her a second.

Jane was really upset over this business card. She wanted to ask but knew better, since Jane had found herself again she had started to withdraw from their codependent relationship, settling into a more familial one. Kate knew that Jane was starting to keep secrets but she trusted the ebony haired woman to tell her if it was important. Kate sighed and started looking around the room.

It only took her a second to see a picture frame sticking out from one of Jane's pillows which was caught under the bed. Kate let her go and bent over to retrieve it. Jane turned away to continue her search. As Kate picked up the frame, she noticed a white card came with it. She pulled the card and was going to ask Jane if this was the right one when she caught sight of the picture.

It was of Jane and Maura, snuggled into each other at the dirty robber, happily sloshed and laughing. Kate knew the picture because she had taken it for them on her first visit to Boston.

Kate smiled at the memory. At the time it was clear to her how much Jane and Maura loved each other, though both of them were oblivious to each other's affection. Kate had come up to see the Yankee's victory over the Red Sox and to spend time with her friend Jane. Kate unhooked the business card from the back tab that held the picture in place and flipped it over. As soon as she had seen the name, she knew this was what Jane had torn her bedroom apart for.

"I found it." She simply said.

Jane froze in place and turned her head slowly to stare at Kate. She had seen the picture in one hand and the card in the other. Kate stared at her.

"How long have you had it?" she asked.

Jane straightened and rubbed at her scarred hands, "A little over a week."

Kate set the picture down on the bedside table and held up the card. "Have you gone to see her yet?"

Jane lurched forward and snatched Maura's card back, "No."

Kate frowned at her in puzzlement, "you found her but you haven't gone to see her yet?"

"I didn't find her." Jane said, "She filled in for one of Alexis's teachers last week. Alexis says Maura knows who she is and that she considers me her aunt. Hell, she even laid in to Maura verbally before apologizing."

Kate was floored, not only that Alexis had found Maura Isles by accident but also that she hadn't said anything about it to anyone other than Jane. But then again, she had told the one person who needed to know.

"So why haven't you gone to her, you've been looking for her for months?"

Jane took the picture from Kate and set them both on the dresser before starting to pick up her room, "A whole bunch of reasons. Highest up on the list is that I don't know if I should. Alexis said that she wants to apologies but that doesn't mean she wants me. All the time I have known her, she's been with men. Last thing she needs is a scarred, broken, homicide cop who runs away from her problems."

"Jane. That's not your choice to make. Your choice is do you present yourself as available to her or not. She chooses whether or not she wants you."

"Right." Jane said sarcastically, "She's been here since before September. If she wanted me she would have come."

"She did Jane." Kate said and then hesitated. "Remember?"

She thought of the consequences of her next few words. Kate had not told Jane what Maura had said that day she came to the 12th. Only that Maura had come looking for her and that she wanted to apologize and make amends. She hadn't told her what Maura had said about loving Jane and not wanting to be with anyone else. She hadn't told Jane about Maura being depressed.

At first it was to protect Jane. She had been in no condition to consider such things but Jane was better now and had been for weeks. Kate had kept it to herself out of selfishness. She loved Jane, not like Maura but like a sister and she was afraid that if Jane and Maura got together, they'd be on a plane back to Boston and Kate would lose her partner and friend.

"She came to you at the 12th." Kate sighed and rubbed her hand over her brow, "She came to get you, to take you back to Boston or to get you to let her stay in New York."

Jane stopped picking up and stared, "What?"

"She wanted you then, Jane." Kate said as she ran her hand through her own hair, "She'd been depressed without you and said she couldn't function without you."

In a second she had Kate against the wall, fists buried in her shirt, "You're just now telling me this?"

"I didn't know how, Jane." She said honestly, "You weren't ready, you said that yourself. I wanted to tell you but I'm your friend and I couldn't let you get hurt."

Jane shoved her again and anger filled her eyes, "So you kept it to yourself. Why didn't you tell me this a few weeks ago?"

Kate bowed her head, "Because I was afraid?"

She leaned in close, "Of what, my darker side?"

Kate eyes met her and they stood as equals, "No I was afraid I'd lose you. That I've become so attached to you in my life that I can't imagine it without you in it."

Jane took a step back, "But you and Rick."

"Not like that, Jane." She said, "I love you like family and losing you to her would be like burying my own twin."

Jane shook her head, "You selfish bitch!"

"Yeah, I guess I am." Kate said quietly.

Jane didn't say anything as she went to her closet and pulled out her gym bag. She opened her mouth to say something but closed it before she did. She glared at Kate as she walked out and grabbed the keys to her Crown Vic before slamming the door on her way out of the apartment.

* * *

Frankie dropped his fork loudly on the dinner plate, shocked to his core at what he had just heard. "You wanna run that by me again, Ma? I think I had to have heard that wrong."

"Francesco…" she started but he cut her off.

"Don't do it, Ma! I ain't Janie and I'll just leave." He wiped his mouth and glared at his brother Tommy. "What do you think of this?"

Tommy passed a look to Lydia before forking another helping of pasta onto his plate. "It's Ma's call and to be honest, I kinda agree with her."

Tommy's eyes went wide, "She's your sister, Tommy! I can't believe you!"

Angela passed a look to her fiancé, Sean Cavanaugh, "It's my choice Frankie. Janie isn't coming home until she brings Maura with her."

Cavanagh had the good graces to be engrossed in his dinner. Since his position in the family was still new and since he didn't like to get in between family members during discussions he kept his opinion to himself.

Frankie tossed down his napkin, "Tommy, tell me one thing."

Tommy lifted his head in mid chew, "what?"

"Just tell me this ain't about Janie's… preferences for dates." His eyes narrowed as Tommy visibly swallowed. "It is, isn't it?"

Tommy looked around as he swallowed his food, "Look Frankie, we were all raised Catholic and being gay is a sin so yeah, I gotta problem with that."

"So is killin'." Frankie continued despite his mother's gasp, "Janie and I have both killed bad guys and so has Cavanagh. You gonna hold that against all of us next."

Cavanaugh raised his head at that one and looked to Tommy. He wanted an answer but remained quiet.

"No, 'cause you guys all repent when it happens. You can't repent a continuous act." He said indignantly.

"Oh, so it's okay to kill someone as long as you repent, but falling in love oh such an unforgiveable sin." Frankie stood up and took his plate to the sink.

"Frankie." Angela said, "It's not like that."

"No, Ma. For him it is like that!" he set his plate in the sink and started for the door.

Angela jumped up to catch him, "Frankie, I DON'T have a problem with it."

"No, you just won't let your only daughter, who you haven't seen in a year, come home for Thanksgivin' because she and her best friend, a lady that she's in love with, aren't speakin'."

He opened the door and headed out to his car.

"Frankie, where are you going?" she shouted as she ran outside after him.

He yanked the door open on his unmarked. "I'm going back to my place that's really my sister's apartment, to pack a bag and buy a train ticket south for next weekend. I'm goin' to spend Thanksgivin' with _my_ sister because family shouldn't be alone on holidays." He slammed the car door shut and drove off.

A tear slid down Angela's cheek as the tail lights faded into the snow. Sean came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her shoulders.

"He's just angry." He said softly, "You know how he's always looked up to Jane."

"I already lost two daughters, Sean." She said, "Now I feel like I just lost one of my sons."

"I know," he said, "Let him go Angie, because he's right. Family shouldn't be alone on holidays."

She nodded and leaned back into him. She hoped she had made the right decision for Jane and Maura but after watching Frankie leave, she wasn't so sure.

* * *

"I've never seen her so mad." Rick said as he rubbed Kate's shoulders. He knew that she needed comfort right now after telling Jane the truth and losing the trust of the second most important part of her life. Kate had needed him more than ever tonight. So he had been holding her for hours by the fire. Sometimes it scared her little to know how much she depended on the people in her life. Rick for his love and strength. Alexis for making her think, And Jane who pushed her every day and who had her back all the time.

As he realized what he had said he quickly added, "But I'm sure she'll be back to her old self after she calms down."

"Maybe," she said, "But will she ever trust me again?"

"Sure." he said as he squeezed her tight, "Especially after I tell her about the Diary."

Kate turned on him, "You can't!"

"I have to." He said sharply, "She'll find out sooner or later and I don't want you to tell her. Let her hate me for a while plus it will take the attention off of you."

Kate thought about that for a minute. Jane did like Castle but not _that _much and it wouldn't take a best-selling author to realize that it would severely damage Jane and Castle's relationship. Since Jane had come back to herself Kate had realized a distance growing between her friend and her fiancé. Jane had eventually confided in her that she couldn't stand Rick or any other man seeing her so weakened. Kate knew that Rick's diary was going to be an issue, more after that confession than anything else.

In the beginning she had worried that Maura could do something with the book to harm Jane, but know she realized that it wasn't Maura and Jane she had to worry about. Fate seemed to be adding its own hand into Jane and Maura's future. The greatest threat to Jane was her own reaction to Rick's documentation of her life. Kate had never thought that book was a good idea but she allowed Rick to continue, mostly because if she tried to stop it, he'd just hide his efforts. He was that stubborn. Her mother's case was proof of that. And this way she could keep tabs on what was in it and it had been invaluable to her as an outside opinion when she was in too deep with Jane to see clearly.

Before Kate could tell Castle to keep quiet, Alexis came into the room carrying the phone, "Kate? Mickey O'Reilly is on the phone and wants to talk to you."

Castle looked at Kate, "Why is the owner of your gym calling at this hour?"

Kate shook her head and took the phone.

* * *

It had been more than a week since Maura had talked with the young Alexis Castle. More than a week since the pretty genius had asked Maura for one of her cards. More than a week since she promised to give it to her Aunt Jane. And it had been more than a week since Maura had begun keeping her phone on her at all times again.

She hadn't done this since she turned in her resignation in Boston. As time had gone by Maura had feared the worst. That she had been too late but an email from Alexis had told her that it wasn't true. That Aunt Jane had been grateful to have it and that they had pigged out on Chunky Monkey ice cream in celebration.

When Maura returned the email, Alexis was equally surprised that Jane hadn't called her. So tonight she had sat down with a glass of wine and for the first time in months, the Diary of Jane was still sitting in her messenger bag. Maura had her laptop out and was writing a new article she intended to submit to the Medical journal. It wasn't long after she had finished and was proof reading her work when her phone rang.

**Dr. Gregory Nelson.**

_Please, let this somehow be work related,_ she picked up her phone and pressed answer.

"Dr. Isles." She said calmly.

"Ah, Maura there you are." He said, his speech slightly slurred from drink.

"Hello, Dr. Nelson." She said politely through gritted teeth. _Jane, where are you when I need you to save me from this dreadful man._

"Maura please, call me Greg." There were voices in the background, "A few of us from the hospital are down here at Joey's and I was hoping I could convince you to come out with us."

Maura cringed at the invitation and Dr. Nelson's insistent attempts to court her. Despite multiple refusals and even one heartfelt I'm not available he still continued to pursue her. She doubted even coming out of the closet would stop him.

"I am terribly sorry, Dr. Nelson but I don't believe that would be appropriate."

"Appropriate," he laughed a little too hard, "Maura dear, I am trying to invite you out for a few drinks not ask you to cover a mistake in surgery."

Maura took in a deep breath and sighed audibly,_ Jane always said I needed to learn how to hedge the truth._ "Dr. Nelson, Please understand that I am not available for a few drinks with you. I am a private woman and I am in love with someone and that person would be quite upset at your actions. Honestly, I am unsure what would happen should" pause over she "hear of this and I do not intend to find out. Good night Dr. Nelson." She hung up and pulled her shirt down to reveal her chest above her cleavage. No red bumps, no hives.

She smiled to herself. Every single word was true just presented so he would draw the wrong conclusion. _Even when you're not here, you still save me Jane._

Maura smiled grew wide at what Jane would have said to that.

_"See Maur, it's not so hard. Just tell them the truth but in a way where they think something totally different. I knew you could do it!" _

She imagined the brunette's two strong arms surrounding her in a hug. The same kind of warm embrace Maura had memorized every second of when they happened and sorely missed over the last eleven months. Maura sighed as she saved her article and turned off the laptop. She knew what would happen tonight, the same thing that happened every night in New York. She would go to bed dreaming of a fiery Italian holding her tightly and wake up feeling alone.

She looked out her bedroom window and at seeing the moon rising over the New York skyline fell to her knees and did something she had never done before….

Maura Isles prayed.

**A/N: I know there's a lot of catholic overtones in this one, and no I'm not overly religious, but it is a part of Jane and her family and I think at some point we all turn to someone and beg them to help us. This was to show Maura's love and desperation.**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: So, here we go, say thank you to My Muse for this because it's fight night and the rewards are marvelous.**

* * *

Mickey O'Reilly was an Irish immigrant who came over with his parents at age 5. Well built like his father who was an enforcer for the Irish mobsters, Mickey had wanted a better way but had been unable to find it. He learned to fight on the streets of the Bronx and eventually became an enforcer, too. He never spent his money but put most of it away until at age thirty eight, he caught a lucky break when his boss got hit by a group of Italian rivals. Most of Dugan's Gang had been killed but Mickey made it out with a couple of bullets to the shoulder.

He quit the racket and took his money and opened a gym just outside the south edge of Harlem. He took in boys of all kinds and taught them better ways. One or two had even become prized boxers. The Italians, realizing that Mickey was no threat, left him be for the most part. So he operated his gym for more than 40 years in peace and was left content.

One of his favorite athletes had to be Katie Beckett. She had come in angry at a tragedy in her life and wanted to learn how to fight back. Mickey originally turned her down until the young girl jumped one of his boxing students and took him down. So he had opened his doors for her after hours, After Kate had become a cop, he had given her a key for whenever she felt like coming down for some fight time.

Six months ago she had brought in Jane Rizzoli. He would have turned her away except for the phone call from Colin O'Malley that asked him to trust her, that she needed to find herself. Mickey had set the place up for her various styles and Jane had never given him a reason not to trust her, until tonight. He had called Beckett and asked her to check on Jane.

Kate Beckett stood in awe at what she found. The scene was both beautiful and grotesque at the same time. A breathtaking graceful dance of the macabre. Jane was standing in the center of five fighting dummies and was cleanly attacking them in what appeared to be random strikes but Kate knew that there was nothing random in Jane's attack. She was merciless as she pounded each of the five man shaped pads. Without gloves and against a person, those blows would end lives.

Jane was so drenched with sweat from her workout that she had a sheened appearance as if covered in fresh oil. Her muscles rippled and coiled before being used to their destructive potential. Movements and changes in her body that Kate could see in every detail because of Jane's near nudity.

She had built up such an internal temperature that she had discarded her t shirt and sweats and was currently fighting in her grey cotton boy short briefs and a matching sports bra. Her shoes and socks were the only part of her original outfit she had kept. Kate noted the t shirt and yoga sweats, both soaked with perspiration, were lying on a bench next to Jane's gym bag. Her iPhone was hooked into the speaker dock Kate had bought her for her birthday and was currently blaring Breaking Benjamin's I Will Not Bow. Four empty one liter water bottles sat on the floor with two full ones standing by.

But it was Jane's face that caused Kate's pause. Although Jane's moves were both vicious and deliberate, her face held no emotion what so ever. Jane was completely impassive and cold as she rained blow after blow of lethal hits on the dummies. As Kate got a glance of Jane's eyes she knew why.

Jane had reached for that dark place inside her and she had brought it out. On purpose. No wonder Mickey had sounded so off, if he had seen even a part of this…

As the song ended Jane relaxed for a second before heading to the water bottles. She caught sight of Kate and her eyes narrowed. She snatched one up and drained it completely before setting it on the floor with the others and reaching for a towel. The darkness didn't leave her eyes.

"How'd you find me?" she said coldly.

"Mickey called me." She said cautiously, "Don't know what happened but you scared the hell out of him."

Jane nodded, "I started to work out before he left." She was the epitome of calm, eerily so.

"Yeah," she said as she headed over to the boxing ring and set her bag down.

"You shouldn't be here, Kate." She said with a very level voice that somehow sounded like a threat.

Kate started unpacking her gear and without looking at Jane she addressed the elephant in the room. "When did you start using it?"

A pause before, "After you were shot." Jane said as she approached. "I thought about all the things that had happened when I tried to deny a part of myself. I didn't care for it."

Kate turned to her and narrowed her eyes, "You told me this thing terrified you. That you were afraid of becoming it."

Jane stared into her partner's eyes and let Kate see it, the deadly potential that nearly glowed. Then she let Kate watch it as she pulled it back in. Kate blinked as one second Jane's eyes were dangerous and lethal. The next she was herself again.

Emotion returned to her voice, "It's a part of me, Kate. I can't deny that. I may have never wanted it but I have it all the same."

Kate started changing into her workout gear right there ringside. "Are you still mad at me?"

"Furious," Jane said simply, "I can't believe you wouldn't tell me something like that." Her voice started to rise but she pushed it down.

Kate pulled out a set of foot pads and tossed them lightly at Jane. "Put those on." She said as she pulled her kick boxing gloves on.

Jane glared at her, resentful that her partner had just barked at her. Sure Kate was the Sergeant but she never barked at Jane. Kate said nothing more as she rolled into the ring.

She rose to her feet and stood in a fighting stance.

As her anger rose Jane glared at her, "You really don't want me in there right now."

She smacked her gloves together and rolled her shoulders, "If getting my ass kicked is the only way to make this right then that's what I'll do." With a smirk she added, "Besides, you've been throwing punches for the last three and a half hours. Seems like the best time."

Jane smirked as she picked up the foot pads, "afraid I'll get hurt?"

"Actually, those are so you don't hurt me." She started stretching and loosening up her muscles.

Kate was very much mistaken in this, but Jane nodded anyway. She sat on the bench and hung the pads around her shoes before latching them on. She then reached for her gloves and put them back in the bag before pulling out a full sized set of boxing gloves. Jane hated the bulk of them but knew Kate would protest if she kept her fighters.

"Are we going till one of us is down or do you want to go rounds." She asked as she slid one on.

"Whatever you need to get us passed this, I trust you." She paused, "Only one rule. Keep _it_ put away, I don't need to lose my head or throat tonight."

Jane smirked again, her anger stepping up to the front. She pressed a button on her iPhone and said, "Play Jane's Fight Mix."

She then slid on her other glove and used her teeth to pull the Velcro strap. She got a running start and slid in on her belly. She rolled to her feet and Kate tossed her a mouth guard. Jane caught it and slipped it in place as she rounded the boxing ring.

The iPhone started off with a heavy metal guitar riff then a man screamed in a heavy metal voice, "Put your fucking fists up!" She recognized it as a Five Finger Death Punch cover of the LL Cool J song Mama Said Knock You Out.

Kate glared right before Jane threw a punch at her head, Kate ducked it and backed up, that blow would have leveled her.

"A little aggression there, Jane." She said around the mouth piece.

"You wanted it put away, this is without it."

She lurched at her, a sharp kick to the back of the knee and Kate rolled with it and returned to her feet. It hurt but not enough for her to rethink it.

As Jane took another swing, Kate dove and rolled behind her before lurching to her feet and landing her fist in the small of Jane's back, she didn't punch, she pushed. Jane was thrown forward but swung a foot out to catch Kate in the side of the head. Jane recovered first.

"Don't fuck with me, Kate!" she shouted, her anger showing, "Bring it."

Kate nodded, _This is going to suck._

* * *

Kate came awake on her back with Jane kneeling over her, she had no gloves on and she was slapping Kate lightly on the cheek.

"C'mon girl, get up." Jane's voice was worried, "Kate, C'mon, partner."

"Stop hitting me, Jane." She said groggily.

Jane breathed a sigh of relief. "Jesus, I thought I killed you." She fell back on her ass.

Kate rubbed her jaw and felt the stiff sensation in her neck. She remembered what happened in that moment. How Jane's elbow was coming at her, she had ducked it and realized too late that her heavily padded fist was right behind the elbow about a foot lower. Kate remembered that it connected and then it was lights out.

"Damn near, babe." She said as she let her arms drop, "I'm glad I made you use those gloves."

Jane laughed slightly, "Yeah, me too."

Kate sat up on her elbows, her head pounding like she had been on a weeklong binder. "You feel better?"

"Not really." She frowned, "I let my anger get the best of me again."

"Better to let it out in a controlled state like this than in public."

Jane got to her knees and put her hands on either side of Kate face, "No it's not Kate, I could have killed you, tonight. My anger is how I lost Maura in the first place and now I really don't know if I have made any progress at all."

Kate grabbed her friend's hands and gave them a squeeze, "Yes you have Jane. I can see that and you should too."

Jane sat back again as Kate rose up to join her. "I don't see it."

"You were furious when you left and you came down here and tried to vent your anger in a gym. That's a lot better than popping off in the apartment and scaring everybody."

"But I almost _killed_ you!" She shouted, angry that Kate didn't realize how close.

"But you didn't. I was here too Jane. I seen what you were trying to do and I got in this ring with you. You showed a lot of control."

"You got knocked cold! I thought I broke your neck." Jane sounded terrified.

Kate couldn't know how Jane had connected with her jaw, how Kate's head had spun around and she fell like a sack of potatoes. Crumbled was more like it.

"That was my fault. I told you to take it out on me and you did. I should have seen that fist under that elbow." Kate put a hand to her jaw, testing it. "Colin always taught you to exploit any weakness you find. You know mine intimately and you deliberately ignored my biggest one." For emphasis, she took Jane's hand and placed it on her hip where the stiches poked at her hand. "You ignored this even though I gave you the opening."

Jane pulled her hand back, "I didn't really want to hurt you like that."

Kate nodded, "Yeah, I know and it should tell you everything you need to know."

Jane sat there staring at her partner, she tried to go over it in her head but she wasn't having a lot of success.

"Tell me about the heavy combat training." Kate said.

She winced. Of course Kate had that irritating ability to nail the one subject Jane didn't want to talk about at that moment but she also knew it was the one thing that they needed clear. Both personally and professionally.

"You know I started it with Colin at LETO. He was right, you know. I needed to find some balance inside myself. So I train after hours twice a week, usually for two hours. Tonight I needed more." Jane ran her hand through her dark hair and looked into her partner's eyes, "It didn't really work but for a time I was distracted from it all and it gave me something more I can do. But there were a few unexpected benefits."

Jane rolled on her side and came into a crouch that allowed her to stand. It was a show of her flexibility and limberness. "I'm 36 Kate and I'm in the best shape of my life. I've never in my life felt so strong or as comfortable in my own skin." She spread her arms and turned slowly. Jane was unabashedly showing of her amazingly ripped body, complete with every scar revealed in its glory.

Kate marveled both at the sight and of the change that was apparent in her partner. She was blatantly and openly displaying the very things she had spent years hiding. Even when it was just the two of them, Jane had been bashful about being nude or nearly so. But she stood proudly wearing nothing but her Hanes underwear. Kate was dumbstruck at the change.

"I found that balance after I killed Murphy. I realized that I was treating _it_ like I did being gay. I denied it and _I_ allowed it to fester and poison me. Now that I've accepted it and found a functioning place for it, I can use it."

Kate stood as she heard Jane defending something that four weeks ago, didn't even know her partner was capable of. Jane's words from that day echoed in her head and Kate wasn't sure invoking that part of Jane was a good idea.

Jane was more confident and strong beyond belief but still. It worried Kate, as did Jane's weekly exercise of that part of herself.

"That's why you've been going to see Liv more often, isn't it?" Kate took one of Jane's hands into hers. She ran a finger over the scar to test her partner. Jane was uncomfortable with the touch but remained. "So she can stop the pain you're causing."

She wanted to deny it but Kate was her partner, "Yeah. She does that for me. Since Maura, she's the only one."

Kate nodded but kept pushing the issue, "You still got some left in those arms?"

"Still got a couple hours left, why?" She paused as understanding struck Jane and she gasped and looked around the ring, "No, you're not going to… are you?"

Kate pointed her hand at the dummies, "Show me you have control first."

* * *

Monday.

Dr. Maura Isles walked around the Pathology Lab as her students studied the cadaver Maura had just finished the autopsy on. She smiled as she saw Kacey Linden slip on purple gloves and examine the failed heart of the aged man on the table. She waited for the question the young girl would inevitably ask. Kacey was in fact one of her best students.

"Dr. Isles, I know the report says that the patient suffered from a heart attack but wouldn't there be significantly more evidence of blood flow restriction to the heart?"

"Yes." She said simply, "as blood flow was blocked from reaching the various portions of the heart, oxygen deprivation would be evident. Would you perform the examination, Miss Linden?"

The young girl adjusted the light over the table and picked up the heart to examine it more closely. "Muscle tissue around the ventricles shows signs of overextended use for a long period of time furthermore the plaque buildup in the arterial channel isn't that severe. The likelihood of heart attack is lower than I would consider plausible for cause of death."

The other students leaned in to look as Maura came closer, "probability and, as you stated, plausibility isn't what we do as Medical Examiners. We follow evidence and empirical facts to determine cause of death. If the heart had displayed the appropriate signs would you jump to the conclusion of heart attack as this ME did?"

Kacey looked up, "No doctor, a full examination is required, particularly since the cause of death in this case is in question." She had been one of the first that the ME had questioned about jumping to conclusions. It was a lesson Kacey had learned well.

"Then please give us your medical opinion."

Kacey placed the heart on a small tray and lifted a scalpel, Maura stood behind her so she wouldn't see the doctor smile as she cut into the exact area she would have. "Condition of the valve is indicative that the patient had an irregular heartbeat which would lead to Cardiac Arrest, not heart attack, upon completing the examination of the heart I would also check the deceased medical records to confirm the condition." She gently placed the heart back in the body.

Maura heard the door open behind them but didn't turn, "And if this had pertained to a potential homicide investigation instead of an insurance cause of death review?"

Kacey looked passed her instructor as she spoke, "I'd send for the toxicology report as well as review the evidentiary findings from the Crime Scene Technicians."

Maura smiled warmly, "Well done Miss Linden but in the future you should send for toxicology report if available regardless of the circumstances." She slipped off her gloves and turned to dump them into the biohazard container.

She froze at the visitor who had entered a moment ago.

She had been expecting Dr. Nelson to accost her for lunch again instead she found the breathtaking display of Jane Rizzoli standing quietly inside the door with her partner. Her face shown the same nervous delight hers must be. More than anything else, Maura wanted to run into her arms but she quickly remembered that she was in class. She smiled warmly, trying to express her happiness as she realized her entire class had turned to the visitors as well.

Maura cleared her throat and addressed her class, "Well. Today we have two very distinguished visitors who can explain the valuable role of the Medical Examiner in a homicide investigation. Please welcome Detective Sergeant Kate Beckett and her partner Detective Jane Rizzoli from the New York Police Department."

Jane bit her lip as she raised a hand in greeting. Kate had been right, again. _I should have waited till class was over. _

A young man named Nigel Aldridge coughed.

"Dr. Isles?" he sounded nervous, "Is this the Detective Rizzoli you worked with in Boston?"

Before she could answer, Jane was marching into the lab, "Yep. I've had the pleasure of working with Dr. Isles for the first 5 years I worked in Homicide and I can tell you from personal experience that the ME's report is the foundation behind any homicide investigation."

Kate laughed softly as the questions started pouring in and Jane's nervousness grew with every shout. A quick glance for help from Jane called her out front.

"Okay," She said loudly, "One at a time, raise your hands and let's pretend like we're in college."

Jane sent a message of gratitude before taking a step back, a step closer to Maura.

"So since we do investigate homicides, we have to lay a few ground rules. First off, we will not be answering any questions about active cases or anything you have heard on the news. Second and before it comes up, yes I am the Detective that inspired Richard Castle to write the Nikki Heat book series and no, I will not be answering any Nikki Heat questions, save it for his book signings. Third, neither I nor detective Rizzoli will be answering any questions about our personal lives."

Jane jumped in, "Since I do know Dr. Isles so well, I know that her focus is on the science and the facts. So how about if you focus on the science and we help you to understand what we do with it and how our cases are often hinge on the job you could be performing through the ME's office?"

Maura smiled. She had dreaded dragging Jane into the spot light but with her partner, she easily slipped into the role of a knowledgeable teacher.

"Most of the cases that Dr. Isles had revealed to us pertained in her work with the Boston Police." Miss Linden asked, "Could you explain if there are any differences between the two departments?"

Jane laughed, "For one thing, it takes longer to get your information from your ME."

Kate shot her a look then relaxed as Jane continued.

"Not that the ME's office here in New York isn't as good as in Boston but here the ME's office is across town. I can't begin to explain the incredible convenience of getting on an elevator and riding it down to your ME. Often Mau…, excuse me, Dr. Isles would come up with new evidence and deliver it to us in person simply because we were two floors up. Since our," she held a hand up to her and Beckett, "assigned ME, Dr. Parrish works so far away, most of the interaction is done over the phone or at the ME's office."

Kate stepped in, "Plus, as I understand it from my partner, Boston is fortunate to have a lighter case load than we do here at the NYPD. Mostly due to population wouldn't you agree, Detective?"

Just like that Kate had poked Jane's inner google.

She cringed as the statistics rolled out of her mouth, "Yeah. New York has a population of eight million two hundred and forty five thousand people whereas Boston only has about six hundred twenty five thousand. That's thirteen times the population so comparatively that is why our case load is about fifteen times larger here when combined with the added issue of population density."

"Population density?" Maura couldn't help herself. She had never heard Jane running out her own version of talking google like that. It was something she couldn't believe and wanted to see again.

Jane glared at her for asking, but she smirked and off she went, "Yeah. Boston's population is about thirteen hundred people per square mile, encompassing just over forty eight miles. The New York area is a little over three hundred and two miles with the population density of about twenty seven thousand per square mile. But if this city gets any bigger they'll have to rate population density in cubic miles."

Several students laughed as Kate clapped her hands, "A talent that she learned from your very own Dr. Maura Isles."

Kate pointed at a student who wanted to know about the role of an ME in a NYPD murder case.

AS Kate started to lay out an old case Jane eased up to Maura. "Hi."

"Hello." She said softly.

"Listen, I'm sorry about inter…"

She didn't get to finish, "After class, Jane."

"I know but I really need…"

Maura stopped her with a look Jane had never seen before, _No, it couldn't be._

"I know." She said, "After class. You have about fifteen minutes more to wait." _And so do I._

Jane bit her lip and nodded before turning back to the students.

* * *

As they filed out of the room Jane had stayed leaning against the dead table after Maura had had the students put the corpse back into the storage locker.

They smiled and shook hands with most of them before Kate followed them to the back, but she didn't leave. She simply sat down in the chair closest to the door and quietly observed.

Maura was willing to bet that there was a second Diary of Jane and that Kate was quietly watching them for the benefit of her writer fiancé. She chose to ignore her and instead focused on the woman she had wanted to see again for eleven months.

"I'm sorry, Jane." She took the lead as Jane had been focused on the toes of her boots.

Jane looked up, "You have nothing to be sorry for, Maur."

God how she had ached to hear that voice say that name, "No, I do. And I am. I should have let you finish talking at Logan."

Jane squirmed a little. Only Maura could make her confidence disappear. "Yeah, but I could have done that a lot better and two nights before that, a hell of a lot more sober."

Maura leaned against her desk, "Yes. I think we both made mistakes that night." That was the night she agreed to go to Mali with Ian.

"I'm so sorry, Maura." She said, "You were right, I was out of control and I had a lot of hard things I had to come to terms with."

"Jane," she said, "I really don't know what your issues were but you could have talked to me. We could have worked them out, together."

Jane stared, "What if you were the problem?"

"Me? What did I do?" Maura was aghast.

Jane stood up and walked over to her. As she approached she pulled an envelope out of her inside jacket pocket and handed it to the blond. "The problem was with me but it had everything to do with you."

Maura glanced at the envelope which bore the NYPD logo.

"This is an NYPD Twenty three oh four. It's used to file a complaint against an officer of the NYPD. I took the liberty of filling it out for you if this doesn't work out."

Maura stared at her, "If what doesn't work out?"

Jane quickly debated this, she knew what could happen and she knew she wouldn't be able to say it until…_ Fuck it!_

Jane grabbed either side of Maura's face and pulled her lips to her own. As they touched Jane slipped her arms around the blond. It was the sweetest thing Jane had ever tasted and she marveled at the sensation. She was holding Maura Isles in her arms and kissing her like she needed to breathe her in to live. It only took a second to realize that Maura's arms hung limply at her side and her lips had responded only barely.

She pulled back, instantly regretting her brazenness. She stared into Maura's wide eyes. She wanted to run but she promised Kate and most of all herself that she would see this through.

"That's what the problem was, Maur. I had to come to terms with being gay and in love with my best friend. I've never wanted to be with someone as much as I do you. I love you, but I understand if I'm not what you want. I just needed to say it." Jane stepped back and turned away to leave when Maura caught her hand.

"Oh no you don't." Maura said firmly, finally coming back to herself after that shocking kiss. She knew from the book that Jane had loved her but she had no idea until the instant those lips touched hers how passionately Jane could love her, it had left her frozen, stunned beyond the ability to move.

"You don't get to kiss me like that and then just leave." She said, "You even try to walk out that door and I'll have this filed before you get back to your desk." Maura held up the envelope.

Jane stared at her partner, who merely replied with her eyes. _Turn around, Jane._

Jane turned back to Maura who had a tear rolling down her cheek. Jane instinctively reached for it but stopped her hand just before the contact. Maura dipped her head into that hand allowing Jane to collect the tear.

"Is this what you were trying to tell me then?"

"Yeah," She said as her thumb stroked Maura's wet cheek. "It wasn't easy to come to terms with but I did try to tell you. I know your straight, Maur. I know it but I couldn't stop it anyway."

Maura held the envelope up in both hands, "Well I guess we both have things we didn't talk about." She tore the envelope in half and tossed it behind her.

Jane gasped as Maura wrapped her arms around Jane's neck and pulled her back into another kiss. This time, they both responded.

Kate felt awkward at the display of two women who were essentially eating each other's mouths as if starving to death. It was raw and passionate and she either needed a beer and some popcorn or a cold shower. She couldn't figure out which one would be better.

_Damn good thing Castle agreed to stay behind. I don't think I could handle his childish remarks after this._

Her phone vibrated as did Jane's, they had a case. Kate quietly stood up to go get her partner when Jane slowly pulled away from Maura.

"I have to go," Her voice was more than a little breathy.

"I know." Maura replied with a voice to match.

Jane kissed her lightly, before she stepped back. She had that cocky arrogant Rizzoli smile, like she just got away with something. Maura thought it was from the kiss. Kate knew better.

She smiled to herself as she started for the door, "C'mon, Jane. Murder waits for no woman."

Jane pulled Maura's hands as far as they would go before dropping them. She turned around and started after her partner.

"Jane?" she said.

She spun around. Her hands clapped together, "Yeah?"

"Dinner?" she said, "Tonight? I know we've only…"

"You know where Bella Roma is?"

"Yes." She was surprised at the name.

"Six thirty ok?"

Maura smiled, "Yes, that's perfect but you have to walk me home."

Jane smiled and turned to walk out. "You got it." She walked out with that confident swagger. Maura couldn't help but stare as Jane's very beautiful hips danced under her blazer as she walked out the door.

It was then that Maura realized that she had forgotten to get Jane's new number. She cursed herself as she shoved her hands in her lab coat in frustration. Something had poked her hand and she pulled it out. It was Jane's card. On the back was her cell phone number and written in Jane's rough writing was **I did get yours from your messenger, so it's only right you had mine. And just in case I chickened out, I love you.**

Maura smiled as she understood Jane's mischievous grin and as she thought about dinner, her heart beat accelerated and her stomach began doing the most amazing things. Maura looked to the ceiling and sent a thank you to whoever may be listening and had just maybe answered her prayer. She knew it was ridiculous but she didn't want to take a chance on wishes being revoked.

**A/N: I lost the fight and My Muse thought this was the time for the reconnection. So say thank you to the Muse. Before you ask My Muse is a non-corporeal part of my brain responsible for creativity.**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Okay, so were going to have Jane speaking some Italian but because I don't speak it and I have to assume most of you don't, I'm going to use quotes because of spoken words and it will be in Italics. (Example: _"So it will appear like this," _the author said.) Follow? Cool. Also, because of my admiration and adoration of these fine characters and the lovely actors who play them, we will be keeping this out of the mature category, so no funky get nasty in the bedroom. If I couldn't put it on FX (racy as that is) I just can't ship it on this one. Sorry. But on a good note, tons of history here.**

**And if Ms. Alexander or Ms. Harmon just happens to be reading this, please understand that I have tried to stay true to your characters and have gone through every effort to treat them with the respect they deserve. Now, on with the show.**

* * *

Castle came up behind his daughter and looked over her shoulder, quietly. Alexis had yet to move her pen in more than a half hour. He was beginning to get concerned so he pulled a chair over and sat next to her. She didn't move, just stared off into space.

"Alexis?" he said.

She blinked, just now noticing him sitting next to her. "Hey Dad, You need something?"

He nodded, "You to tell me what's bothering you."

"Nothing." She said, "Just doing homework."

"Okay." He put his elbow on the table and rested his chin in his palm, "So that's why you've been staring at the wall for the last half hour?"

Alexis blinked as she looked at her watch, a watch her Aunt Jane had given her. Sure enough, a half hour had gone by. "Wow. I didn't even realize…"

Her father just waited. It was a move he had to perfect with Jane.

"It's Aunt Jane." She said as she stared into her lap, "I know that going out with Maura is a good thing for her but…"

He put his other hand on her shoulder, "You worried she's going to get hurt again?"

Alexis looked up at him, "No. It's more selfish than that."

He let his arm drop as he thought about it. "You're worried that now that Maura's back, she won't have as much time for you."

"I told you it was selfish."

"Well, Alexis. You know that out of everyone in this house, you are the one she loves most so I know she'll make time, honey."

"I know but it still stinks." She flopped back into the chair's back rest and pouted.

"I know" he said as he turned her to face him, "I felt the same way when she started distancing herself from me. I know that it's because I seen her as no man ever has but it still hurt."

"How do you deal with it?" she asked and he could hear her grief.

"Hope." He said simply, "hope that eventually she'll see me like the brother in-law who was there when she needed me to be. Just like Kate was the sister she needed, and like when she needed you, too."

She frowned, "But Kate and Olivia still have strong ties with her. I don't want the distance to be a Castle thing."

He hugged her tightly, "Neither do I. I love her too, Alexis, and as moody and fiery as she is, she brought a very welcomed chaos into our neat little home and shook us all up. And in my own selfishness, I haven't forgotten how Kate moved in with us when we took in Jane."

She sighed at the memory, "Yeah. Kate had been so hesitant to take that step with you."

"And Jane made it happen, just like that." He smiled, "She does have a way of making us all do things we don't want to."

"Yeah." She said, "She pushes us. I'm going to miss her when she goes back to Boston."

He nodded with a tight lipped smile, "Me too. Just don't tell Kate I said that."

"She doesn't want to think about it either?" she asked, worried about her step mother to be.

He shook his head subtly. "I think Kate has come to the realization that she needs Jane in her life more than all of us put together."

"It'll be hardest on her." She said into her Dad's shoulder.

"Yeah," he kissed her head, "and she'll need us to love her more than ever."

They sat for a few minutes like that before Castle cleared his throat, "So. Enough of this serious stuff that's too far away to get us down, how about going a couple of rounds of laser tag."

She laughed, "Dad, C'mon." She waved at the homework.

"I know it won't be as much fun without the Dark Queen of Bostonia invading but I think old Voltar needs to be put in his place by the rabble. Who knows, maybe we could even Voltar's love interest slash bitter rival to play tonight."

She smiled, "I'd like that."

He kissed her head again and took off to the bedroom to get the laser tag equipment.

* * *

The Bella Roma was packed tonight as Jane sat at her favorite table. The same one she and Frankie had shared whenever he came to town. The Bella Roma's owner, Guido Amendola, was a man who never forgot a person. Since Jane was an Italian who spoke it and a regular, he had always had his best waiters work her table. But his true admiration came when Jane had figured out who was stealing his expensive wines and lightening his till. Jane had run the bus boy down after she confronted him and Guido had never forgotten it.

Despite her protests, Guido had never allowed someone to sit at her table on days she was known to visit and he never allowed her to pay for a meal.

Jane sat watching the door as Maura walked in. She caught Maura's eye and smiled. Maura pulled of her long coat and handed it off to a man by the door who handed her a ticket, which she promptly put into her large purse. As the hostess asked for her reservation, Maura pointed to Jane. The hostess smiled warmly and waved her in.

As Jane stood up to greet her, Maura raised an eyebrow at the rather expensive outfit Jane was wearing, it was typical Jane except for a few things. More expensive grey slacks instead of her usual bargain black and a well cut feminine blazer to match. Jane's traditional boots had been exchanged for some tasteful low heeled shoes but as Jane took the blazer off Maura couldn't help but admire the way the rather expensive black silk shirt clung to a body Maura hadn't remembered being so fit. Jane had always been athletic but now she was lean and toned, as if cut from marble. The sight made Maura's heart skip, Jane was hotter then she had ever been and it was playing havoc with her hormones.

Jane too was having heart trouble as Maura sashayed over to her in a sleek blue dress that hugged every curve of the blonde's lovely body. Jane smiled as she realized Maura hadn't changed a bit. She still dressed to kill and was still wearing high heels. It was a far cry from the rather conservative wear that she had had on earlier that day.

"I'm sorry I'm a few minutes late, but I really wanted to go home and change." She said quickly as Jane kissed her cheek and pulled the chair out for her.

As Maura let her seat her she laughed, "It's okay. I actually would have preferred to do the same but I had to come straight from work."

"Well I must say that your back up suit is much more flattering on you than the one you had on earlier."

Jane frowned, "Actually, its Kate's back up." She sighed as she sat, "I don't own anything really nice and I wanted to look nice for you. I guess I should break down and go shopping."

Maura smiled at Jane's confession, "Well I dare say that it looks better on you than it would on her. But she does have good taste."

She smiled. Maura was reaching so she could too, "Thanks. I kinda like it, feels better than my usual stuff."

Guido himself came over then with a bottle of wine and a beer. _"Ah, my dear Detective Jane. It's so good to see you again."_ He said in Italian as he set the beer in front of her before placing the wine in front of Maura, "and with the lovely Dr. Isles no less. A pleasure, as always to have such a beautiful woman grace my humble establishment." His voice held admiration in that thick Italian droll.

Jane turned to him, "Wait! You know Maura?"

"Absolutely," he said as he poured her wine, "Dr. Isles has been a regular patron for almost three months. She comes in every Sunday around six and orders my humble gnocchi."

Maura looked a bit sheepish.

Jane smiled at the older Italian, _"Thank you, Guido. I think we'll both need a minute tonight."_

_ "As you wish my dear." _He said, _"Take all the time you need. I'll be back with some fresh bread from the oven in about two minutes."_

Jane turned back to Maura as he left, "Family dinner." It was a statement not a question.

"Yes." She said her eyes meeting Jane's, "Family dinner. Guido's gnocchi isn't Angela's but it is delicious."

A nod, "I come here a lot too." She said, "Whenever I missed them."

Maura reached across the table and took Jane's hand, "You can always go back, Jane."

Jane shook her head, "No. I can't, not yet anyway."

"Why?" she asked as she squeezed the scared hand.

"Ma says I can't come home without you." she said, and then softly added "But I'm not done here. I'm still figuring out who I am and this has been a good place for that."

"I know the feeling," Maura responded. "Mali helped me realize that I wasn't happy and when I came home, you were gone and I didn't have anyone to help me find myself."

Jane grabbed Maura's hand, "You had the whole family there. You should have stayed, Maura."

"There your family, Jane." she said with loss, "Without you I had no right to them."

Jane squeezed tighter so Maura would look at her, "How many times has Ma told you that you were like her daughter? I think she was hurt more than anyone when you left."

"No." she sniffed, "You were harder on her."

Jane's guilt at hat left her quiet. Sensing a lull in the conversation, Guido placed a platter of steaming bread on the table along with real butter, two plates and a knife. He quietly excused himself and left.

Jane got to work cutting the bread and passing a plate to Maura before she cut one for herself. "So do you want to talk about the elephant in the room or go over all the things that happened while we were apart?"

Maura looked around, "I don't see a pachyderm anywhere."

Jane laughed, "It's not a real elephant Maur. It's an expression for what we talked about after your class ended."

"Oh I think I like that." Maura said, and in a lower tone, "The elephant in the room." And in her normal tone, "What's the context?"

Jane laughed, "It's like something big goes on but everyone is ignoring it. So you pay no attention to the elephant in the room."

"Oh, and in this case its…" she paused. "You telling me that you love me."

"Yeah." She said, "Me telling you that I'm in love you."

Maura sipped at her wine, "When did you know."

"Hoyt." She said, "The night I killed him. When he cut you, I felt like I was dying inside. Some other things happened that night that I need to tell you about later but that was the moment I knew that I loved you and the same moment I knew that Charles Hoyt would never leave that room alive. He sealed his fate with your blood, Maura. That was when I knew even though I couldn't accept it."

Maura nodded as she digested that. She knew what Jane was talking about. She had seen the look in Jane's eyes. If she believed in the Grim Reaper, she would swear she had seen him in Jane's eyes that night.

"I guess we should signal Guido before he has a heart attack." Jane waved him over, "What do you feel like, tonight?"

_Making love to you._ Maura shook the thought from her head and thought of food, "even though I just had it, I'd love to share gnocchi with you."

Jane smiled and as Guido approached, _"My friend, an order of gnocchi, my date and I will split it."_

_"Anything for you Jane and don't tell Father Vinzini I said so but you make a beautiful couple."_ He smiled as he rushed off to the kitchen.

"I caught the gnocchi, but Patre?" she said, "Isn't that Father?

"Yeah." She said uncomfortably, "I may have overstepped when I told him that my date and I would share. He said he wouldn't tell our pastor."

"He likes you then." Maura said. "You didn't overstep, Jane. I do think of this as a date."

Jane set her bread down, "Maura I know you care and I loved kissing you but you don't have to feel like you're under any obligation to me."

"I don't feel that way, Jane." Maura stared at her, "There's something I need to tell you to. Something I've known ever since you shot yourself. You use to ask me why I couldn't leave you at the hospital then."

"Yeah, you told me that you were worried about me." She said right before shoving the freshly buttered bread into her mouth.

"That's true but there's more." Maura took a deep breath, she didn't realize how hard it would be to say this, "It's because I knew I was in love with you, Jane and I still am."

Jane stopped chewing as the words registered. She swallowed quickly and coughed into a napkin before she could speak again, "How come you never told me?"

"Because I was afraid. Like you I always thought you were straight. Sure you stared at my breasts when we were at the Merch and we always had that closeness but I was afraid you wouldn't reciprocate and I'd lose the best part of my life. My best friend. That's why I never brought up my feelings about you."

"Wait, so that day in the car when I thought you wanted to have sex with me and you denied it?" She said, not believing what she was hearing.

"I was hoping you didn't notice me getting hives." She said honestly.

She continued, "And when we were talking about what kind of women we'd like if we liked women? You said I wasn't your type."

Maura nodded, "That's because I didn't know you were my type at the time. The people I had been with before were nothing like you. I guess now I know why it didn't work out."

"I can't believe this, Jesus Maur, we could have…"

"What," Maura said, "Gone out? Had sex? Jane, you yourself told me that you couldn't accept that part of you. What do you think would have happened had I came on to you, openly? You would have felt awkward and I would have lost my best friend. I dropped hints all the time, the first one was while you were in my guest bed. You had said 'either were having a sleep over or this is your way of telling me your attracted to me.'"

"You didn't answer me."

"No, I didn't. I left it open deliberately because I thought you might be and I wanted to know. I didn't have to stick my boobs in your face at the Merch but I did. When you talked to me about dating Tommy I was brutally honest that although I liked Tommy, I loved you."

Jane dropped her head in her hands, "And I have the nerve to call myself a detective."

Maura grabbed both of Jane's hands and pulled them to her, "Jane. I know why. You couldn't accept that you were attracted to women so you hid behind the sarcasm you're so well known for and you subconsciously blocked out any interest from me."

Jane pouted, "Now that I'm thinking about it, it was pretty obvious. Awe hell, I was even responding and didn't know it. No wonder half of the department thought we were sleeping together."

"Yes." She said softly. "And after the shooting, I wished it was true, that it could come true."

Jane held both of Maura's hands. "I wish I could do it all over again. You have no idea what happened to me over the last year."

Maura raised her eyebrows, "Actually, I do."

"You couldn't." Jane said incredulously.

Maura let go and opened her purse. Jane watched as Maura pulled out a red leather bound book. "After I came to the 12th to see you and you left, I thought you hated me. I was going to move out of Boston and go back to California. Your friend Rick gave me this." She set the book on the table and slid it into Jane's hands.

Jane stared at it, hoping it wasn't what she thought it was. Her hands shook as she flipped open to the first age where Rick had pen the night she had almost froze to death getting to his loft. How he had carried her to his oversized tub and how Kate had stripped down and climbed in with her to get her temperature up. She slammed the book shut and her anger filled her. She wanted to excuse herself and run off to the gym before she killed Rick Castle but she allowed just a small portion of her other side to control that anger.

"I'm going to kill him with one of those antique pens he has on his desk. He had no right to write this."

Maura placed her hands on Jane's again, "If he hadn't, I wouldn't be here, Jane. I wouldn't have moved to New York. I'd have gone back to California. I read this book the first night I had it, cover to cover and I knew that I couldn't leave you like that. I loved you too much and I hated myself for what you went through."

Jane's eyes narrowed, "It wasn't for you to carry or ever to know about. He broke my trust and gave you the one thing I swore you would never know. My pain and suffering were never supposed to be passed to you, ever. He knows better." Her voice was cold, but it was all Jane could do not to shout over the whole restaurant.

Maura took the book from her, "He has done something for us both in this, Jane. Because of him, I knew that you had loved me and I knew what I had to do."

"What was that?" she said as she ran a hand through her hair, "Do you have anything that could possibly excuse this?"

"Richard Castle gave me hope when I had none." She simply said as a single tear crept down the side of her face, "This is the only one, written in his own hand, he gave me your pain and also gave me hope that you might one day come looking for me to tell me what this did. I keep it with me wherever I go because it tells me that you love me a lot more than a friend and it has kept me going when nothing else has. You can't be angry at him because he set it all in motion by giving me this one book, everything from my decision to take the job at Icahn that led to this very moment right now. He was the one who tossed the stone that caused the rockslide."

Jane wanted to argue, she wanted to cry, but Maura's words had resonated in her. As much as she wanted to deny it, Rick had probably brought them together by throwing Jane's heartache into the light where Maura could see it. It had been a gamble, and as much as he liked to play games, Rick wouldn't do something like that unless he was sure. She was beginning to regret the distance she had put on him and wished that she could take it back. Still she wouldn't let him get off scott free.

"How much of my life is in there?" she said as her anger dissipated. "How detailed?"

"Probably a lot more than you want me to know but it covers your first eight months."

Jane cringed, "Well I won't really kill him but I guess I have to read it before I decide how long he's going to be in traction."

Maura passed her a sympathetic look, "Well if it's any kind of consolation, there is one thing he hasn't put together."

_Oh this had to be good,_ she wanted to vomit. "What?"

"He never figured out why you went to Olivia Benson's apartment every week." She sighed, "Aside from you, Olivia, and her girlfriend, I'm the only one who knows the truth."

Jane nodded but all things considered that was a detail she wouldn't have minded, at least in comparison with other things over the last year. Maura fell silent as she watched Jane process it all.

Guido returned with dinner and sensing the heavy air around them he remained silent as he served the pasta. Hoping that whatever was going on between them was a healthy thing they both needed, he bowed and left again.

Maura took the opportunity to change the subject, "So I've met Alexis and she surprised me a great deal. I know what Rick thinks of you and her but I'd love to hear what you have to say about the red head with the Jane Rizzoli curls and attitude."

Grateful for the change, Jane laughed, "Oh well there's a subject that will break your heart."

As they ate Jane told Maura all about how the little genius had warmed her heart over the last year. How much she adored her and how it was a constant effort to challenge Alexis intellectually.

The hours flew by and before they knew it Jane and Maura were catching a cab back to Maura's home. Jane couldn't remember the last time she had been so happy and for the first time she wasn't looking forward to going home tonight.

* * *

Since Maura had confided in her that she had never really felt safe in New York which had explained why Maura had wanted her to walk her home, Jane had escorted her all the way to her door and even looked around her condo to make sure Maura was alone. She had planned on thanking Maura for a great night and giving her a goodnight kiss with the promise of calling her in the morning. Instead, that goodnight kiss had set fire to both of them and Jane now found herself on her back with Maura draped over her with her honey blond hair tickling her cheek as Maura's head rested on her shoulder.

Jane's hand was absently running up and down Maura's back. Her body had finally stopped quivering from the mind blowing orgasms she had shared with Maura, whose body had also come to rest. Both were awake at 1:30 AM and neither had any thoughts of movement.

Only Maura's blankets hid the nude bodies that both of them had been exploring over the last few hours and Jane had marveled at the other woman's soft curves had molded to her own hard body as if they were made to fit together. Jane loved the feel of Maura's ample breasts pressed into her upper abdomen. Abs that Maura had taken great care to lavish with hot kisses.

Jane sighed in comfort at the warm touch of Maura's body against her own. She had never been one for cuddling after sex but as with most things that involved Maura, she found bliss in things that were out of character for her. And Maura reveled in the knowledge that she could see a side of Jane that no one had seen. Jane had lost all control in the heat of orgasm and was left completely bare. It was the most beautiful thing Maura had ever seen.

Maura ran her free hand up and down Jane's arm, tracing the muscle patterns with her fingertips until her contentment was broken by her phone.

She hadn't put it on vibrate and the opening lyrics for Its Not You by Halestorm broke the late night peace.

She stiffened and curled tighter into Jane, "Oh God, go away!"

Jane tightened her hold on Maura, "Interesting ringtone. Who's that and when did you start listening to hard rock?"

Maura buried her face in the crook of Jane's neck, "Its Dr. Nelson."

Jane blinked, "'I'm in love with somebody and it's not you' is a ringtone for a doctor?"

Her jealousy started to rise. It wasn't hard to imagine the blond with others while Jane had gone without. It was Maura after all who enjoyed sex. Jane needed to put some distance between them before she said something she would regret.

As she loosened her hold, Maura grabbed the taller woman's body tighter, "It's not what you think, Jane. Please wait."

The only thing that kept Jane in bed was her memories about what had happened to them when they didn't communicate. She sighed as the ringer quit, "Okay. I'm listening."

Maura rolled on top of her so she could look into Jane's eyes. The position was doing amazing things to Jane but she kept that defiant glare going and waited.

"Dr. Nelson works in the hospital. Shortly after I started at Icahn, he came down to consult with me on a patient. It was bullshit, Jane."

Jane jerked at the language Maura had not used before. _Maybe she's different, too._

Maura continued without reacting, "I consulted with him and gave him my number in case he had any other questions about a patient. It wasn't until a few weeks later I found out that he trolls the hospital and school for new staff and interns that he claims to take under his wing or ask for a consultation but it's only so he can sleep with them. He is handsome and a prime specimen of male physiology so he's largely successful."

"I don't want to hear all of this, Maur."

Maura leaned in closer, "I need you to hear this." She kissed her softly, "I need you to know that nothing has happened."

_Maura turned down sex with a prime specimen? _Jane frowned, "Okay, I'm still listening."

Maura started kissing on Jane's neck as she spoke, "A few years ago I probably would have but the truth is that I didn't want to sleep with him or anyone else but you."

"Huh?" she pushed Maura away so she could look at her, "Could you say that again?"

Maura lowered her body on top of Jane's and cupped the fine bones of the other woman's face, "I haven't slept with anyone since you saved me from Dennis Rockmond. After that I was constantly searching for a way to tell you how I felt without losing you."

"What about Ian?" Jane said.

"I hadn't slept with Ian at all, before or during our stay in Mali." She looked up at Jane, "He tried but I loved you and he had a hard time accepting that, but he eventually got the message."

She chuckled at the way Ian had gotten the message as she caressed Maura's arm.

Jane kissed her quickly and fell back onto the pillow, "Then what's with this Nelson guy?"

"He's not used to being turned down and he won't stop chasing me. I've told him I wasn't interested and that I wasn't available. I even told him that I was in love, I've done everything short of calling myself a lesbian and I can't say that because it's not true."

"Because I'm the first woman you've been with." Jane said as she stroked her hand through the blond strands.

Maura looked at her, "No. Jane, My last relationship before I came to Boston was with a woman."

Jane stared at her, "Really? I thought I was your first."

"I wish it were true, Jane." She said, "But after Kristy, I went back to dating men alone and when I started being friends with you, I didn't want you to think I was weird so I turned down any woman who expressed an interest."

She didn't know what to think. On one hand she was grateful that Maura had more experience, mostly because Maura always had more knowledge than she did. On the other hand, Jane had really thought Maura was straight until she had fallen for her. So much for her ego, but Jane thought about it and decided she would rather have the experience more. She went back to the original subject.

"So this Nelson guy is a stalker?" she said and reached for her gun on the bedside table. It was halfhearted at best and her hand drifted back to the small of Maura's back.

"No. Just persistent." She sighed as she slid down and rested her head on Jane's chest. "He's one of those doctors that only value their own opinion. Even if I could tell him I was gay, I think it would make him want me more. He'd feel it his moral obligation to try to turn me back to men."

"Just tell him that your girlfriend is a very jealous woman and carries a gun, both are true enough."

"I didn't tell him that exactly but close." She said, she straightened and looked at her, "My girlfriend?"

Jane smiled, "Yeah. If you'll have me but you should know I come with some baggage."

"I know all about your baggage" She said as she resumed her oral examination of the hollow of Jane's neck, "I've been there for most of it and read about the rest."

Jane stopped her from kissing, "No. There are things that happened that won't be in that book because they happened after you came to the 12th. Things I'm not ready to talk about yet."

She pulled back in concerned, "But you will talk to me about them? You won't hide them from me?"

Jane pulled Maura a little closer, "I'm done hiding anything from you."

Maura smiled, "Then I'm your girlfriend and your mine." Maura started kissing Jane again and in a few minutes she was ready to go again.

She rolled Maura onto her back and straddled her before glancing at the clock, "Shit!" she said as she realized the time and looked down at the gorgeous sight beneath her. "I have to go home."

Maura smiled, "you have a curfew or something?"

Jane didn't, "No. It's just that… Colin is coming in from Aberdeen tomorrow to spend Thanksgiving with Liv because Alex is in the Congo and Kate and I were going to meet him at the gym so I can get more lessons and Kate can work on her kickboxing and since Colin's meeting Liv tomorrow afternoon, the morning is the only time…"she stopped as she caught the quiet laughter erupting from her naked bedmate, "I'm rambling."

"Yes, you are." Maura cupped Jane's hips so the brunette couldn't escape, "Are you always so busy?"

"Most days," she said as she bit her lip, she didn't want to say this but she was determined to keep her word, "I've been keeping myself as distracted as possible because… well, you know how I hate crying."

"Yes. I do know." She smiled as her hands reached around behind Jane's hips, "Stay with me, tonight? We've been without each other for so long. Let me show you how much I missed you."

Jane shifted her hips against Maura's stomach, "I think I know, but despite tonight's…umm…things that happened, I really do want to take it slow. I'm so much different than I was in Boston and I'm sure you are to and I just. I don't want to mess this up. I want to get to know you again but this time as the woman I love."

Maura nodded as she looked over the side of the bed. Jane's eyes followed the movement until she seen what Maura had. Jane's suit was neatly draped over a chair along with the bra and her panties, which matched, were sitting in the seat. Maura's dress on the other hand was still lying in a ring on the floor where it had fallen from her body. Her bra was hanging of a dresser handle where it had caught on the way to the floor and her panties were nowhere to be seen.

Jane smiled at the odd reversal, "See what I mean."

Maura smiled warmly at those words, "Okay then tomorrow, we can take it slow. Tonight, let's just celebrate what we've had and what we've gained. But Jane, I need you to make a promise to me."

Jane ran a hand through her hair, "Maura I really don't drink anymore, you seen me at the restaurant, I can sip at the same one beer all night long and I never drink the hard stuff anymore."

"That's really sweet, Jane but that's not the promise I'm asking for." Maura lifted herself on her elbows, Jane scooted back to allow her to sit up, Maura took Jane's head into her palms, "Promise me that you will never run away again, this last year has been the hardest of my life and I don't think I can do that again." Maura's eyes watered.

Jane wrapped her arms around her and pulled her tight, "I promise, Maura. I won't. I won't run away again, I swear it."

Maura smiled warmly, Jane kept her promises, always. "What time do you have to be home?"

"About nine A.M."

"So I'll set my alarm for eight." She reached over to the clock.

"Set it for seven." Jane said.

"Why seven?" Maura asked without looking back as she fiddled with the alarm.

A cocky grin spread on her face as Maura returned to her, "Because before you leave this bed, I intend to make sure you're wearing the same smile as the one I'm going to make sure you go to sleep with." She pushed Maura down onto the bed and started nibbling her ear as she repositioned herself to trail a line of kisses lower.

**A/N: Whew, big chapter with lots of info. Sorry but I told you that I was going to keep it clean so just imagine those frustrating camera angles that keep everything hidden. Post up, tell me what you think.**


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: With the introduction of Colin, we'll be seeing quite a bit of Irish slang.**

**Dossers means a slacker or up to no good.**

**Boyo is a term for young boy but I used it as an insult here.**

**I don't know all that much about these kind of fighting styles so all of this is bunk invented by me. Also, this one wasn't easy to write for some reason, lot's going on around me and My Muse has been hiding out on me this week. She don't dig stress.**

* * *

Frankie Rizzoli exited Penn Station on Seventh Avenue around eleven pm on Wednesday. Situated right by Madison square gardens it was the place that Kate had told him Jane would meet him. Instead, he found a man in a brown full length coat talking with a parking enforcement cop about moving the Black Lincoln he was standing next to.

"It doesn't matter if you're picking up the pope, you gotta move this car." The elderly woman said sharply. "Pickup area is on the other side."

"I know but I'm here to pick up a cop." He smiled, "Surely you can understand the insanity on the other side. The only real problem is that he's expecting a detective from the 12th. She couldn't be here so I got the job. He doesn't know he's looking for _me_."

Frankie sighed again at New York City and lugged his bag over. "Hey, Rick is that you?"

He turned around. "Frankie. Can you help me out here?"

"Sure." He opened the back door and tossed his bag in, "Get in the car, we leave, she's happy."

She smiled at Frankie, "That's all I need."

Frankie climbed in and so did Rick. The driver put on his blinker and let out a breath. "Where to Mr. Castle?" He said as he stomped on the accelerator and veered into traffic. Frankie might have been nervous but he learned quickly on his previous visits that this was the norm in NYC.

"Home, George." He said and turned to Frankie, "Unless you're hungry. I know a great place to get a burger and fries."

"Naw, that's okay. Where's Janie. She on the job or somethin'?"

"She and Kate went to their gym today."

Frankie raised an eyebrow, "She'd rather work out than pick up her brother?"

Rick shook his head, "she didn't know you were coming." He continued before Frankie could say anything, "Jane didn't come home last night. She was out on a date."

"With who?" he said not believing it, "I thought she was still…"

"She is and when she came home to change this morning, she had this stupid grin to boot." He wiggled his eyebrows.

"First, that's my sister you're doin' Groucho to and second, what about Maura?"

Rick smiled a tight lipped smile as Frankie stared at him. Then it clicked, and like lighting Frankie lit up almost as brightly as Jane was this morning.

"Oh my god! She found her!" Frankie grabbed Rick's coat, "Please tell me she found her."

Rick laughed at his enthusiasm, "Yeah, she found her."

He let go and fell back into the seat, he blew a sigh of relief and leaned his head into the head rest. "Forget the apartment take me to Jane."

"She gets mad about that kind of thing. Gym time is Jane's time."

"Don't care, she can get mad at me. Just get me there please."

Rick leaned forward, "George? Can you take us to a hundred and ninth west? O'Reilly's gym, please."

George nodded from under his black hat, "alright, Mr. Castle. We'll go to Harlem if you want."

"Harlem?" Frankie said.

"Not really, just a block or two south." Rick laughed, "You've seen to many movies, it's not as bad as people make it out to be. Besides, it's not far from Columbia U."

Frankie shifted uncomfortably. He _had _seen a lot of movies about Harlem.

* * *

Three guys from SWAT were working out on speed bags when Jane and Kate had arrived. Jane had ignored them as she and Kate had changed into their work out clothes in Mickey's office. Since they were here during Mickey's regular hours they were forbidden to use the locker room. Jane and Kate had come out and immediately climbed into the ring. After a few stretches, Kate was ready and padded up. Jane grabbed nothing more than two spade pads and let Kate come at her. Jane had deflected every blow but she kept pushing Kate to quit holding back.

When Kate had finally let go, Jane had started smiling as Kate's punches and kicks started to rock her. "Now you're working out, C'mon Beckett, push it!"

Kate had, and Jane marveled at her friend's strength and speed. Jane was getting a great deflection workout countering Kate's moves. It was part of the reason she had opted for just the pads, Kate was strengthening her moves and Jane was working her eye hand coordination and defensive blocks. Because Jane used several different forms of fighting she had a wider range of blocks available from fighting styles she learned to interchange instantly.

Twenty minutes later, Jane's threat perception noted the tree guys had stopped goofing off at the equipment and moved to watch Kate and Jane's work out. Since the information had come into Jane's mind on a passive level, she was able to acknowledge it and dismiss it without breaking her attention from Kate's moves. Jane's careful eyes had also noted that Kate's moves were slowing, she was beginning to tire. So on her last punch, Jane caught it between the pads and held on.

Kate's concentration was broken and she came out of her battle mind. Jane let her hand go. "Nice Job, Beckett."

There were a few hoots and claps as the SWAT guys cheered on Beckett. Kate grabbed the towel from ringside and patted the sweat from her face. When she looked down, Nick Davis was below her, "Nice moves, Beckett." He said. "Any time you need a sparring partner, I'll be happy to step up. But be warned that I'll actually throw back."

Beckett laughed, "Thanks Davis but there's a good reason Rizzoli doesn't swing back."

He laughed, "No control. She seems like the type."

Jane stepped up and handed Kate a water bottle, "Really? He said that?"

She shook her head before taking a drink, "Yeah, he did."

Rolling her shoulders Jane smiled, "You want to go a few rounds Davis?"

"Sure," he said with a cocky grin. "You got any left after that pounding Beckett gave you."

He checked her out from head to toe. Although Beckett was well known to be with a rich writer, Rizzoli was all blue collar and single. There was also a substantial betting pool going on around the borough of Manhattan for whoever could get Rizzoli out on a date. Because she never accepted, the pot had gotten near around three grand. Another reason officers kept asking, both male and after Jane said to one booking sergeant that she wasn't into men anymore, female officers too.

Nick thought about it a second and thought maybe asking her out directly was the wrong approach.

Jane didn't miss his eyes running her over or the thoughtful look he had. He made it look like he was appraising her as a fighter but she knew better.

She dug her hand into the front of sports bra, "Yeah, I got lots right here," She pulled her hand out with her middle finger extended, flipping him off.

"All right Rizzoli," he said, "Just let me go get my gear." He walked away quickly to get his gym bag.

A throaty voice from the door shouted across the room, "You better go get some more friends, _Boyo_." It was in a thick Irish Brogue. "Don't forget to pad it up, too. I hear that one's a cute hoor."

Jane turned sharply with a smile on her face, "such language. I expected better from you."

He leaned on the open door frame with a cocky ease that oddly reminded Davis of Rizzoli. Dressed in all black from his heavy combat boots, cargo pants, a black t shirt and leather coat. He was easily mistaken for a biker with an attitude if not for the perfect shine on his boots. Although his face was cheeky and the stubble of a beard that said he hadn't shaved in a day or two. His close cut hair and bearing screamed military.

Davis was unimpressed and started over to straighten out the guys grin. "That is a detective from NYPD and you don't call her a whore." Bet notwithstanding, Rizzoli was still a cop and any other cop would stand with her. It was the code, True to Blue.

Kate reached down to grab the cop by his sleeve, "That's not what he meant, Davis. 'Cute hoor' is an Irish term for someone who engineers a situation to their advantage." She glared at the man, "And you did that on purpose, Colin."

"I sure did." Laughing heartedly he smiled, "I can't help slagging Tac Guys, you know that. Hell, you and Jane had a hand in it mor'n'once."

"That was in Springfield, not our own backyard." She turned back to Davis, "It's okay, Davis. He's a friend of ours for years. He's also Jane's trainer."

Davis stood down, "What does he train her in, sarcasm or attitude?"

Colin straightened and the duffel bag lipped away from his back to drape next to him, "Keysi Fighting Method, Arnis, Krav Maga with a few other disciplines. Basically I teach her how to kick ass."

"Awe c'mon, Colin." She wined from the ring and stomped her foot, "I could have made some money off of throwing him around. Kate and I could have easily cleared a hundred bucks."

He pulled off his sunglasses, "Is that what you've been doing with what I taught you? Prize fighting?" His blue eyes were cold as he spoke. He dropped his bag and headed for the ring. "Of all of the stupid things I've heard of, Jane."

As he climbed up Jane met him straight on, "NO! That's not what I've been doing."

He stood toe to toe with her and glared, "This is not a game, Jane. It never has been! You have the ability to kill, instantly." He snapped his fingers in her face, "One wrong move, one slip and someone dies. Why do you think I never fight back in those brawls at The Shield?"

"You told me this in the beginning," she got back into his face, "I have never used them once on a person. You taught me to have total control over my body and that's what I've done."

Davis was going to step in but again, Kate stopped him, "That's my partner. If it needs doing, I'll do it."

She stood to watch.

"You have complete control?" he said, with a disbelieving look, "Show me."

He stepped back and assumed a fighting stance, "Left throat kick from round house."

A loud slapping sound echoed in the room. Jane had exploded barely after he finished saying the words and before anyone could blink Colin held her left heel in his palm a mere inch away from his throat. Davis couldn't actually remember her moving as Colin held her in place. Jane was standing on her right foot leaned so far over her ponytail was piled up on the mat. Her arms still in fighting position and her left leg extended cleanly down the length of her body in a perfect line from her hip to her shoe. He held her there for a second, she didn't even shake, before letting go and Jane returned to a fighting stance, slowly.

"That was a lot better than last time." He said with a chuckle, "You almost broke my thumb then. Well done."

He stepped back and threw two punches and a kick at her and she responded by catching each one and after he nodded, she launched herself at him. Her throws were fast as hell but he deflected her strikes and after about fifteen seconds, he caught her wrist before it made contact with his throat. She froze instantly.

"Very good Jane," he said, "Great control." He released her.

Jane smiled, "Told you I had it."

He smiled and grabbed her into a bear hug, "That ought to keep those _dossers_ away from you for a while." He whispered in her ear. She smiled as she realized that all of that had been to cover her.

She fired off a look to Kate and the return said that Kate understood it too.

"Told you there's a reason Rizzoli doesn't throw back." She said to Davis.

He paled, "I didn't know she could do that. How good is she, really?"

"Better than you Davis, better by a lot." She patted him on the back and walked toward the boxing ring.

* * *

Rick and Frankie walked in to Mickey's and were immediately greeted by the old man, "Hey there Rick. Been watchin' your girlfriend and her partner. Been lookin' good all mornin'" He said in a gruff voice.

"Hey, Mickey, did you get those Islander tickets I sent you?" Rick asked as they made their way inside.

"Yeah, my grandkids loved seeing the game, Thanks for that." He nodded at Frankie. "Who's that?"

"This is Frankie Rizzoli, Jane's brother," he said.

Frankie felt like he was being sized up as the old grey haired man looked at him, "Nice to meet you, kid. Your sister's a hell of an athlete. Lemme know when you're ready and I'll set you up with some boxing lessons."

Mickey walked them up to the ring. Frankie was surprised to see Jane was wearing the spade pads on her hands as Colin was working through new strikes with Kate.

Kate went into a kick that Jane caught and held. Colin tipped Kate's hip a bit and then pulled her arm up a little higher.

"Now you'll have more balance for the hit and won't feel so of centered. Position is the key to delivering the designed affect." He let go and so did Jane. Kate held it a second longer and returned to her feet. "And because women aren't quite built like a man, having that inertial follow through isn't as important as delivering all the energy built up in the strike to your opponent in that instant of contact. Remember that speed, accuracy and stamina are what I teach all of my female fighters, not so much raw power."

Kate recited the mantra, "Speed is to deliver in a faster manner than your opponent can counter. Accuracy is to deliver in your opponents most vulnerable locations causing more significant damage. Stamina is to deliver beyond your opponent's ability to last."

"Right." He stepped back a few paces and, "Now go for it."

Kate threw two punches and kicked out in the new move. Jane took it in the pad cleanly and Kate paused as she came back into her stance.

"Perfect, Kate. Nicely done." He smiled, "Free style but include."

Kate lifted and eyebrow. Jane got that evil grin and nodded. Kate exploded at full throttle. Jane was forced to take steps back at Kate's assault but easily got the pads into position to take the hits. Colin's eyes went wide as he realized that Kate wasn't holding anything back. He nodded proudly and watched Kate's form. After Kate had used the new move he called out, "Catch."

Jane caught the fist Kate threw between the pads. Kate nodded to Jane and received that proud dimpled smile again. Colin touched Kate's shoulder and tapped her elbow. "Great form, good position. Kate your technique is perfect. Nice Job." He looked to Jane, "You on the other hand are absolutely a bad influence in every way."

Jane released Kate's fist and turned, "What did I do?!"

"Although I am happy you and Kate are comfortable training at full power. Kate, for all of her years at this, isn't at your level and only because she hasn't taken to it as naturally and as comfortably as you have. Don't push her to learn things she's not ready for, that's my job."

Jane rolled her shoulder and took on her winey voice, "I haven't showed her anything, Colin. We've worked solely on her kickboxing together. Just like you told me, I've only been defensive with her." She held up the pads to illustrate. "She's not even here most nights I train."

"She hasn't." Kate said, "Today was the first day I put any power into it and Jane showed me that she can keep both of us from getting hurt."

"Then where exactly did you learn two separate KFM moves that I just witnessed you use? KFM and Arnis are the two styles I have been teaching her since June."

Kate looked down, "Jane has been pretty tied up lately with her own thing so I go to an actual kickboxing class when she's busy."

Colin rolled his head back in frustration, "Does he teach KFM as well?"

"I don't think so," she said, "But I didn't exactly do a background check, just some research and it said that he was one of the better ones in Manhattan."

"I'm going to argue the point about being one of the best because he's cross training. If you continue to go to him then check all of your new strikes against Jane. If you're going to use them at least she can show you how to do it right." He pointed at Jane, "Anything Keysi you make sure she knows it's not her discipline, you have to show her it properly. And don't you dare show her anything this _moran_ hasn't. Don't mix it up."

They nodded, "Alright. Kate I think we're done for the day so go stretch and cool off." He spotted the visitors, "Jane. A five minute break and then I want a grand lash on those dummies you set up in the corner. Let's see what you've been up to and," he turned to the two new faces ringside, "why does that fella over there look like you?"

Jane looked over and spotted Rick with Frankie, "Holy shit, Frankie!" She glanced at Colin and slid under the ring ropes to grab up her brother.

"Hey, Janie. I see you've been keepin' busy." He said as he wrapped his arms around his smaller but older sister.

"Jesus Frankie, how come you didn't call me?" she took a step back and punched him in the shoulder, "You should have told me you were coming in to town."

He punched her back lighter than she did, "You should have told me you found her."

"Awe C'mon Frankie!" she shouted, "I just seen her for the first time yesterday."

"Then my beloved partner left work early on a new homicide and I didn't see her or the suit she borrowed till she came in wearing it the next morning." Kate passed Rick a quick kiss and Frankie a light hug as she headed to the floor mats to stretch.

"Ahh, the old Rizzoli walk of shame, eh." He chuckled.

"Frankie, don't even start on me." She stared at him, "And what the hell are you doing here, Thanksgiving is two days away. I thought you were going to Cavanagh's."

"Tell you about it later when there's not a giant scary combat vet standin' over your shoulder."

Jane turned around to see Colin, "Oh, Frankie this is my friend Colin O'Malley, from those LETO trips I do every year. Colin, this is Frankie, my little brother."

The ridged task master he was a moment ago faded as he held out his hand, "Hello Frankie, it's nice to meet you finally."

Frankie took the offered hand, "Nice to meet you too. Janie hers talks about you guys for like a month after she comes back from those things."

He laughed, "Oh well what a coincidence. We've heard many of stories about you around the fire pit over the years. Jane positively glows when she talks about how proud she is of you."

Frankie looked kind of uncomfortable, "Yeah, well I guess big sisters have the right to brag."

He laughed, "But I really need to get Jane training. I only have a limited time to work with her today."

Frankie nodded, "Yeah that's okay. Can I watch or somethin'?"

Jane was the one who squirmed. When Maura asked if she could watch her workout this morning, Jane had refused because she didn't want her lover to see that side of her yet. Not that she would ever want it but she knew eventually she had to tell Maura about what she could do. But Frankie? No. He always idolized her and she didn't want him doing the things she could and learning the things she had learned about herself. Frankie was too good for that kind of thing.

"Actually, Colin doesn't like audiences or distractions." She shifted nervously, "I don't think it's appropriate."

"Janie, I'm your brother." He said, "You don't go naked or something do you?"

Colin laughed, "That wouldn't be very professional, fighting in the nip."

"No Frankie, it's…" she hedged and then gave in, "Okay, fine. I'm not comfortable with it. I just don't want you to see me like that. It's not cool, Frankie, it's…"

He saw how she was dancing from foot to foot, it was really bothering her. He was slightly offended but he loved his sister and gave up, "Alright, I'll just hang around with Rick for a while."

_The book!_ She didn't know why it snapped into the front of her mind at the mention of the author standing next to her brother but with it came the deep and unabiding desire to hurt the man, and he had noticed. She wanted to lash out on Castle in that moment but she quickly reeled in the thought and put it on her to do list. She wanted that revenge to be sweeter than the quick beat down she was currently running through her subconscious.

She smiled a false smile and Rick started to do his own shifting, _Ooh, there's an idea._ She filed it away and turned to Colin, "So let's get started."

* * *

After about a half hour of listening to Kate and Rick's continuous sarcastic banter, Frankie eased toward the wall that separated the ring from the rest of the gym equipment. He poked his head around the corner and stood in awe of Jane. Yeah he was supposed to give her privacy but he couldn't help it. His sister was lean and fit from these workouts and honestly, he wanted that kind of definition too. But he never expected to see what was around the corner. Jane was fighting in the middle of five punch dummies and Colin was dipping in and out between them. When he was in the circle on the floor, Jane was all over him and it was a vicious fight but when he backed out again. She was back on the dummies.

Then he would step in between two more and they were back at it again. Frankie made a mental note not to piss off Jane again. He watched from around the corner as Jane slammed her gloved fist into the dummy when he felt someone looking over his shoulder.

He turned to see Kate with a stern look on her face, "Jane would be very upset that you've seen this."

"Have you seen this." he asked eyebrows almost touching his hairline, "I mean what is that?"

Kate stopped him from looking again, "Her business, Frankie, and she doesn't want you to see it."

She grabbed his arm and pulled him towards the bench press and sat him on it before she sat on the bench across from it, "You know that Jane was broken when she came here."

He nodded, "Yeah, I got that."

"Colin has been teaching her this fighting stuff for a few years now and when Jane and I went back to Springfield this year, Colin noticed Jane was different. Almost every day for hours on end he was out in the field teaching her certain martial arts disciplines. The goal was to help her restore a kind of balance that she lost."

"But it didn't work because Maura is her balance." He said thoughtfully.

"Right." She huffed, "It became a distraction for her. Something to keep her busy and she threw herself into it like only Jane can."

Frankie grimaced, "That's when she became Jet LI?"

"Kind of." Kate frowned, "It's something she just… had. But the benefits far outweigh what she can do."

He chuckled, "Like what?"

"Well?" she stood up and raised her arms, turned in front of him, "I'm a pretty good looking woman, aren't I Frankie?"

He shifted uncomfortably and tugged at the collar of his shirt, "Uh, yeah. Okay?"

She laughed, "I'm confident in my appearance but when I look in a mirror in the bathroom, I still see changes I wish I could make. Not much, just regret a few beers or want to work the elliptical a little more."

She knelt down in front of him and put a hand on his, "Jane doesn't see any of that when she looks. In all of my life, I will never be as at home in my own skin as Jane is in hers. She knows herself better than most ever will, inside and out. The part that makes her uncomfortable is what she can do with it. Being able to do what she does is a big responsibility, Frankie. One she doesn't want to share with anyone. So you have to forget all about what you've seen."

"How come you know so much about it? Is it because she lives with you? Does Maura Know?"

Kate stood up and sat next to him, "I knew she was training but I didn't know to what extent and I found out by accident. But Frankie, I'm her partner. Our lives depend on each other every single day which is why she showed me a lot of what she can do. She still holds back though, because she doesn't want me to know it all. But it's enough for me to know it's there and my chances of coming home to Rick and Alexis at night are better than any partner I ever had. As far as Maura, I don't think so. But I know Jane and she will tell Maura before they get really deep. If for no other reason than Jane won't want to hide anything from Maura ever again."

She sighed, "I just hope Maura can see it like I can."

Frankie put an arm over her shoulder, "You don't know Maura too good then, eh?"

"No, not really." She said, "I've met her a handful of times when I came to Boston but I've never really gotten a chance to get to know her all that well."

"Maura has always adored Jane and has taken comfort that Janie would protect her with everything she has." He said, "And if I know Maura like I do Janie, I'd bet you all of Manhattan that Maura will sleep much better at night knowing what Janie can do." He tugged her shoulder.

She patted his knee and stood up to go get Rick who was currently annoying Mickey to death with questions.

* * *

Colin took off to pick up Liv from work as the rest headed back to the loft. After a quick shower Jane hung out with Frankie and Alexis for a few while Rick was working in his study. Kate was still in the shower when Jane excused herself so she could have lunch with Maura. Frankie had protested, telling her that he missed Maura too and was crashing their lunch. Jane had resisted but a good shove from Alexis out the door had worked in his favor.

So there they sat at the diner halfway between Maura's building and Jane's. Maura had texted that she was going to be late so Jane had a few moments alone with Frankie. He looked like he wanted to talk about something but he kept his mouth shut.

It was up to Jane to get things going, "So how come you're spending Thanksgiving here, Frankie? Cavanagh's house not clean or something?"

"Naw." He put his elbows on the table and cupped his hands in front of his mouth, "It's just Ma and Tommy. Ma said you can't come back till you bring Maura home, too."

She rolled her eyes, "Yeah, I got that line too. Glad I didn't buy the ticket."

He chuckled, "Yeah, that would've sucked." He started picking at the little lint balls on his sweater, "Plus I wanted to punch out Tommy."

"Again? Jesus Frankie, what did he do know?"

Frankie dropped his hands and stared at her, "Tommy thinks that you and Maura ain't cool. Says that lesbians are a sin and all that. He's kinda gone off the trail now that he's trying to be a dad. Spouting morality and crap like that."

Jane's head fell two inches as she stared at him, "Really? The same guy who did a DUI over a priest in a crosswalk is talking about morality and sins? And when did he turn against gay women? Wasn't he the one who wanted to be in a sandwich with those two cheerleaders in high school? What were their names again?"

"Connie Laramie and Angie Beckingham." He laughed, "Guess he figured out lesbians don't need him."

"Those two were as gay as the day is long." She said sardonically as she stirred her orange juice.

"Since you left and I've been workin' your spot in Homicide. Tommy and TJ have been gettin' the bulk of Ma's attention so I think he's worried you'll come back and you and Maura will get his happy portion of Ma." His face turned mischievous, "Or he's worried you'll take Lydia way."

"Frankie!" Jane smacked him on the hand, "She's already slept with two Rizzoli's and I'm not about to be number three anymore than you are."

He chuckled to himself, "Well you do have a thing for blonds."

Jane narrowed her eyes, "Only one blond and Maura's bra size is bigger than that bimbo's IQ."

"Your bra size is bigger." He said laughing.

"Okay, forget it." Exasperation filled her voice, "My bra, Maura's bra, off the table. Sorry I even brought it up."

"Kate say's you didn't come home so I assume the floor was where they landed." He barely got the words out before Jane reached over to punch him in the arm. He ducked and slid out of the booth. "Sorry, couldn't help it. I'll be right back, I gotta use the men's room." He was laughing harder as he disappeared.

Jane picked an ice cube out of his water glass and tossed it into the booth where he was sitting. She smirked slyly at her work just as Maura reached the table.

"Excuse me," she said, "But given the ice on that side might I share your side."

Her smile was radiant and Jane was taken aback by how much she loved Maura. She nodded and slid over. Maura sat next to her and just as soon as she had sat her purse down Jane had her arms wrapped around the woman and pulled her into a kiss.

Frankie paused outside of the men's room as he caught sight of Jane and Maura as they kissed. In all of his life, he never felt like the world was as beautiful a place as he did right then. His sister was kissing the kindest, most thoughtful, and beautiful woman he had ever met. He had told Jane he didn't have a problem with her being into women, but he never really thought too hard about it until that moment.

But like a good brother, he had kept his doubts to himself and now seeing them together, all his doubts faded away. They even looked good together. He felt a twinge of jealousy, not over Maura, but over the joy in both of their faces. He hoped that one day he would have what they did.

Maura pulled away first with a very appreciative grin, "So did you put the ice cube there so I would sit next to you?"

"Nope." She said as she rested her forehead against Maura's, "you'll see in a minute."

She was confused until movement near the table caught her attention and she looked up to see Frankie.

He smiled as he held his arms out, "Hey Maura."

Maura kissed Jane quickly and stood up to give Frankie a huge hug, "Oh, Frankie!" She squeezed him as tight as she could, "Oh it's so good to see you." She pulled back to appraise him from his feet to his hair. "You look so good. How have you been?"

"I've been okay. How about you? Janie been treatin' you right?"

She stepped back to sit next to Jane, whose arms snaked around her, "She's been wonderful."

"For two whole days," came that husky voice from behind her.

Frankie laughed before he spotted the ice cube and flicked it on the floor. "Sorry sis, I learned that one from you already." He wiped the seat with his napkin before sitting down. "You know, I'm glad to see you but what were you thinkin'? You just left us and no one's heard from you since. Ma was so devastated when you left. It was just as bad as when Janie here did it."

"Frankie, leave her alone." Jane coming to defend Maura again. It was a good sign. "She's had it rough too."

"No, Jane, it's okay." She laced her fingers into Jane's, "I came here to New York because I wanted to be near Jane. Even though I thought she hated me, I was hoping that she'd come for me one day. So I didn't want to be too far away."

"I'm glad you weren't." she said, "It made it a lot easier to see you."

Maura smiled sweetly and kissed Jane's cheek, "and it gave me comfort. Knowing that you were out there making it safer."

"Awe enough with the mushy," his words were laced with mock agony, "You two just need to get a room or somethin'." He blinked at them as he realized what he said, "Never mind."

A look passed between them that reminded Frankie of teenagers who were doing something they shouldn't and getting away with it and he couldn't remember his sis ever looking so blissful. He had to admit that it was a good look for Jane.


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: Okay so My Muse is back and wasn't terribly happy that I pushed on without her so she felt it was necessary to take a step back and remember what brought this story on in the first place and we compromised and we are going to look back while moving forward. PS I did change Chapter 12 from my note to its chapter but I don't know if it alerted all of you fine followers so you might want to check.**

**I keep getting notes about ratings and other things so I had to update it to an M category because the idea of sex is 13+ rating which I thought I had with T but apparently T for teen means 9+. Doesn't make sense but I'll go with it if I can keep writing. Other than general description of nudity, any graphic details were left out in respect for these characters and the actors who portray them. **

**MJ- this chapter is exclusively for you for being such a great sport and is 100% Genuine Muse. An extra-large order of Rick Castle channeling with a heavy side of Rizzles and a touch of Caskett.**

**Z- I got thanksgiving on the way, buddy.**

* * *

_Jane threw the file down on her desk and plopped her head in her palms. I heard her take in a deep breath and let it out in a huff. The stabbing of David Clinton was frustrating her. After a few moments she stood up from her desk and walked over to stare at the murder board. She stared at it for a long time._

_ What was she thinking about? It was my only question. More often than not I had an idea about that when it was Kate standing there. But Jane was still a mystery to me in so many ways._

_ You would think that after living with us for nearly four months, I would have some idea about what went on in Jane's head but more often than not, her eyes didn't show anything but pain. I know, I know, c'mon Rick, master story writer, show me some insight into the mind of Jane Rizzoli._

_ Well, I could tell you all about how her heart was broken and how much she misses the one she loves but I've only had a few weeks to see her outside of our home. So many aspects of her being a detective are still hidden from even my keen eye for detail._

_ I glance around the bull pen. Taking in what all the others are doing._

_ Esposito is on the phone running down the alibis of our top two suspects, the potentially jealous wife and the possible mistress. Kevin Ryan is on the computer searching records for the background info Kate want's on our vic and suspects. Both detectives are so engrossed in their tasks that they haven't even noticed Jane get up._

_ I glanced over to Kate, who was looking through the autopsy report but in tune with her partner to a truly unsettling way, at least for me anyway, she was staring at Jane while she held a pen to her beautiful lips._

_ Wow, how amazingly sexy she can look when she's deep in thought. Her outfit is casually sexy today, as usual. Those tasteful black slacks that almost seem to be too tight without actually being too tight and that red sweater she loves so much that molds beautifully to her body. Damn she's gorgeous._

_ Oh, oops. I'm off track again. Sometimes I can't help myself. Worse part is that Kate just caught me staring. I can see the appreciation behind that scowl she's showing me now but I know she doesn't like me staring when were at work._

_ I turned my attention back to Jane. As it does seem to happen more often than not, Jane is dressed very similarly in black pants and a blue sweater but the overall affect doesn't have that thing for me all that much. Oh I know she's beautiful but… she's just not Kate. But it does have an effect on others as I can see a uniform in the break room eyeing Jane rear from the break room as well as another detective who is having an intimate moment with Jane's legs over the top edge of a file from across the room. I'd best intervene here before Kate does. The last time wasn't a pretty sight._

_ I put my notes down and grab Kate's, Jane's and my own cup and head to the break room. As I pass the detective, I reach out and pull his file up higher. He glares at me until I glance back at Jane._

_ He knows I caught him then and he returns to doing actual work. As I get to the break room I watch the uniform who has been stirring his coffee for the last ten minutes finally pull the spoon out and drop it in the sink. He nods at me._

_ "Hey, Mr. Castle." He says cheerfully, "How goes the case?"_

_ Oh how easy this is, "It could go a lot better. I have an idea about a new book though."_

_ He smiles, he thinks I like him, "Oh yeah. Is it good?"_

_ Yep, he's on board, "I think so."_

_ Wait for it, "So tell me." Gotcha!_

_ Oh this is going to be fun, "So it starts off with a murder. Nikki Heat has a hard time identifying the body because it's barely recognizable." I start to fill Kate's cup, girlfriend first and all that, "All the fingers are cut off and the body's teeth have been pulled out so she relies almost entirely on DNA. Turns out the body is a cop." Kate's coffee is ready so I set up Jane's next because I am chivalrous like that._

_ He leans in, "Really, the Vic's a cop?" Oh he's taking it, I just need to up the ante here._

_ "Yeah, a patrolman who likes to hang out with Detectives because he had dreams of being one of those guys who investigates crimes instead of just filing reports and booking perps."_

_ He smiles, let's just sweeten the pot a little more, "Sounds like a guy who'd make a difference, shame he gets offed before he gets there." Yep, he's definitely in._

_ "Probably could have except for being dead." C'mon, call my hand. Please?_

_ "So how does Nikki figure out who did it?" Oh, you raised your bet? I love it when they really play into it._

_ "Well she gets some help from a good detective friend from another precinct." A quick and obvious glance at Jane and he's all in._

_ His eyes gave him away, he's almost whimpering at the thought of Jane in one of my books, probably dying to read the hot, steamy parts. Time to close the hand._

_ "Turns out it was the friend who killed him." _

_ He stared at me with that dumb blank expression that said "I don't get it."_

_ "I don't get it." He said. See what I mean about predictable stories? "Why did the other cop kill him."_

_ I smiled as I filled my own cup, "Because he got caught staring at her ass for twenty minutes and she takes that kind of personal. You see, she's a real piece of work. Amazing at her job but damn does she hate it when people have eye sex with her body parts. Guess this guy was just one too many." I smiled as I headed out with the cups._

_ Did I just hear a gulp behind me? A quick peek over my shoulder revealed the uniform making a fast getaway to the elevator. _

_ Oh, how much fun it is to screw with people. Jane's Boston reputation followed her up here and even though I know that she's hurt, everyone else sees her as "The hard ass bitch from Boston" and it just makes me want to jump up and down like a little kid with how much fun it can be chasing away those few unfortunate ones who just can't keep it to themselves._

_ I know, it's not my usual form of entertainment but with Kate so focused on Jane, I've felt just a little neglected with her attentions. Besides, it was Kate who told me to run cover for Jane and how could I pass up a request like that? Free reign to screw with cops, who wouldn't want such a gift?_

_ I set Kate's coffee down on her desk and put Jane's next to it. She gives me that eye and I know that she seen the uniform duck out in a hurry. She looks to the coffees and nods her approval. It was subtle but from that nod I know that I'm going to get laid tonight. _

_ Don't get me wrong, I like Jane and I'll do whatever I have to and whatever Kate wants me to do to help her but in truth, I finally have a relationship with Kate Beckett and I have to share her with Jane Rizzoli. Jealousy doesn't look good on me and in truth; I never really felt it before I met Kate._

_ Yeah, that other detective she was with for a while. That was when I first felt it, really felt jealousy. I know it's dumb._

_ I've heard the stories about Jane and her boyfriends but when you hear the stories she tells about Maura, you know there's something there. Oh you didn't talk about it then because you worried that Jane would become all Black Widow from the Avengers on you and kick the shit out of you. Now you don't mention Maura because you just don't want to see that haunted look in her eyes. I'm starting to love Jane, just like Kate does._

_ When she's not crying and when she's felling more like herself, her sarcastic whit is always top notch, and it's pretty clear to those who do know her that underneath the whole red white and blue shield, there is a soft, kind, and caring heart that is one of the most beautiful I've ever had the privilege of seeing. It's hard not to love Jane for that._

_ Oh you doubt me. You think she's all hard core all the time. Come by my place and see her with my daughter, if that doesn't bring a tear to your eye, than you're a cold hearted SOB and we **will** find where you put those bodies._

_ Oops, I'm off topic again. Where were we? Oh yeah, the murder board, gotcha._

_ I could see the pulse pounding in her slender neck. I probably would have missed it except that it made that scar there under her jaw jump noticeably. Yeah that was another thing about Jane, don't stare at the scars. Yeah, my head still hurts from that mistake._

_ Kate stood up from her desk and carried over the coffee. It was just a delicate hand on the shoulder but it made Jane jump slightly. She sucked in a relieved breath when she saw Kate was next to her. Kate raised the cup in offering and Jane took it with both hands, grateful for her partner's thoughtfulness._

_ Wait! What?_

_ A look from Kate with that knowing smirk again. Damn, I just got played, again. Didn't I come up with the idea for coffee? Let me look back a page… sure did! Damn, she's good. See that's why I love Kate so much, she makes me think in ways no one else does. No wonder she cleans us authors out when she plays poker with us. _

_ Yeah I'm all over the place today. Lack of sleep mainly._

_ Kate stands side by side with Jane. _

_ "I don't get it." She said finally. All eyes turn to her._

_ Kate frowns, "What?"_

_ Jane turns to her and points to the victim's mistress, "I don't know but this really bothers me. Why would she kill him? Deanna Flowers was getting everything she wants. David Clinton files for divorce so he's committed to leaving Dana Clinton and most of his personal things were moved into the girlfriend's apartment. Sure they've had a rough go at it for a while but why would you kill a man who was leaving his wife for you?"_

_ "Maybe he was seeing someone else on the side." Ryan called out. "You know, how did Deanna know that David would be faithful when their relationship started on the side in the first place?"_

_ "No way, bro." he shook his head as he picked up his coffee cup, "First, you couldn't trust someone like that but I doubt she would have even thought about that and even if you did. Backing out would have been a lot easier. It's a poor motive for murder."_

_ Kate look at him, "You have a better one?" _

_ Oh here we go. Story time._

_ Esposito came over and leaned against the edge of Kate's desk. "I know we have an alibi for the wife but she's still my favorite for the crime. She's losing it all, the husband, going back to Jersey to live with her mother to raise a six year old. It's a better motive to me."_

_ Jane scoffed, "It's a motive to kill the girlfriend, not the husband. Killing a leaving husband is a crime of passion, she'd have to be pretty cold blooded to get served divorce papers, go to court twice and then stab him sixteen times while he's carrying the last box of his things. Hell, the rent is paid up and so are the utilities. She makes more than enough to get by without him and still afford the expenses for rearing a child."_

_ "So do you have a theory?" Kate asked._

_ "No and that's what bothers me." She held her arms out at the board, "This is all pretty cut and dry without any real motive. Both have had plenty of opportunities but not when he turned up dead so why did someone stab him sixteen times?"_

_ I sipped my coffee, "She's right. It does feel like were missing a key character from this story."_

_ "Story?" Jane glared at me. I felt like I was underneath Superman's X-ray vision for a second there, "This isn't one of your brainstorming sessions, Castle. We're trying to solve a murder here."_

_ Kate smiled as she met Jane's eyes, "He's actually pretty good at this Jane. I wouldn't count him out just yet." She walked back to her chair and sat down. Jane stared at her for a second before she turned to me._

_ "Okay, what's your idea?" She said, her voice was almost pouting._

_ I smiled, here we go, "Well, I don't know who actually killed him but just by looking at what we have right now it seems like this story isn't very good."_

_ Jane glared at me then. Is that my blood boiling? Sure feels like it._

_ "I think you've been hanging out with this writer too long, Kate." She said, "You're a brilliant detective so I can't see how a writer telling his stories is helpful."_

_ Ryan laughed quietly as Esposito covered his grin. _

_ Jane glared at both of them, "What?"_

_ Esposito looked to Beckett, "I think it's time, Kate."_

_ Ryan nodded, "Yeah, it's time to introduce her to the Castle Theory."_

_ Jane looked around at each of us and… was that a growl? Kate turned her chair away from her desk and leaned back, her cup cradled in her hands. She looked at me and me alone. Oh she wanted a good one. I can do that._

_ As I stood Ryan jumped up, "Hold on." He went back to his desk and grabbed his coffee too before parking it in my chair. "Sorry, didn't want to interrupt."_

_ I nodded and turned toward the murder board. Pictures of Deanna, David, and Dana. The autopsy report, crime scene photos. It only took a second to get it all down._

_ "I agree with you, Jane. We're missing something." I leaned in closer to the image of David and his wife. "Something subtle." Moving up to the picture of Deanna Flowers, "Something we haven't even thought about yet."_

_ My voice had gotten lower, slower. "A girlfriend." It was more than a whisper but not much._

_ Jane scowled. "Deanna…"_

_ "Not Deanna Flowers." I said as I turned toward her, "A girlfriend or maybe a best friend would make a better story."_

_ I'm looking right at her now, "We've all gone through those rough times, haven't we? Some we can handle on our own, some we need to take comfort in a friends support." A quick but this time not as obvious glance to Kate. It caught Rizzoli's attention. It would be more of a challenge but I think I can get her. I just hate to make this personal but it's a thin line I have to walk sometimes. "But do you really know what your friend is thinking about and how well do you really know her? How well can anyone know someone else?_

_ "You know she's there for you when your heart gets broke, when something bad happens. She'll run out in the middle of the night to come get you because your date was a creaper or a perv." I start to walk around the group. "Your pretty sure she thinks you're dumb or naïve for dating that guy. But she comes for you anyway. And she always has, and you don't mean too but you take advantage of that. Reliability, she's your anchor, your shelter."_

_ I make my way slowly around Jane, "She's your best friend in the world the only one you can ever count on."_

_ As I ease over to the murder board I keep it going, I know I'm in dangerous waters. The similarities I'm describing are too close to Maura for her comfort. I know Kate will make me pay for this later, so much for getting lucky. "Maybe she warned you that he was no good, but you didn't listen. You were in love and that was really all that mattered. Until the day he leaves. Faced with raising his child on your own you have a choice to make, do you go home or do you stay? Your best friend tells you to come home and she offers to come and help you pack up._

_ I smiled as I met Jane's eyes, "And she does. She comes to you and when you fall apart, she holds you tight and never lets a word out. What you don't know is how much your best friend loves you. How much she missed you and wants you back in her life. Your pain is an insult to her and she wants revenge. She loves you so she'll never take it out on you but the one who hurt you? Now that is something she want's very badly."_

_ The look on Jane's face says that she has identified with the story and is hanging on with all she has. I know she's looking for her own answers now. Now that the door is open, I think I can see inside. But let's finish what we started first. _

_"She knows that the girlfriend is out and that it's just him there right now. But as she gets closer to the building she sees him walking down the street. He smiles at the pretty girls and his open flirtation enrages her. He hasn't been faithful to you so why would he be faithful to that slut he's with now. Men are all like that in a way. Most of them are unfaithful and that's why she loves you so much. You've both been through it and you'd never do that to her any more than she'd do it to you._

_"She stands near the alley entrance. It's been a while since he's seen her so he doesn't recognize her" Jane's look changed, I'm losing her. Maybe a little adjustment. "Or maybe he does and he's always wanted her. He's always lusted after your best friend." And she's back onboard, "It doesn't take much enticing to get him into the alley and into the dark. Inside he's thrilled at having something he's wanted for such a long time but he plays it cool. But she's not fooled. She knows how much he's wanted this. And when he pins her against the wall and starts to kiss her, put his hands on her. Her rage comes through. And she knees him in the groin. She's got the knife because she only wanted to scare him. But her anger at what he's done to you is all consuming._

_"And when it's done, she takes the knife and drops it in a sewer grate on the way back to your apartment. While you are asleep, she quickly showers and throws her bloody clothes in a garbage bag and ties it up tight before she puts it by the door. The next day, she probably tells you that she's going to the market to get things to help you pack but while she's there, she tosses the garbage bag into the market dumpster so that it's not in your garbage when the police come by. After all, she loves you and she won't let anyone hurt you again."_

_She's staring off into the distance as are the others, all except Kate who was staring at me. She wasn't happy but Jane hadn't broken down so I snapped her out of it._

_"SO!" She jumped, "Like I said. Girlfriend makes for a better story. Is it lunch time, yet?" _

_Jane stared at me for a second before turning to Kate, "I'm going to start digging in to our suspects friends see what we can come up with." _

_I'm going to kill him slowly! _Jane cursed in her head as she read the hand written words in the so called Diary of Jane. _And seriously, the Diary of Jane? I like the song but c'mon, Rick. You couldn't do better than that!_

It was near three thirty in the morning when Jane had finally given up on sleep. She knew that she should because tomorrow was Thanksgiving and the guest list for Rick's loft had gotten considerably larger over the last twenty four hours.

After lunch with Frankie, Jane and Maura had kissed like teenagers before Maura sped off in a cab for home. Jane and Frankie had gone back to Rick's to catch up but round dinner time, Jane had abandoned him again. Not that Frankie was offended. He and Rick were becoming good friends when he was visiting and Frankie had encouraged Jane to spend time with Maura.

Jane had taken Maura out to a fancy restaurant that she couldn't pronounce and then off to a play at the Opera house that Maura had wanted to see. Ordinarily something Jane would have complained about but her attention was more on the honey blond bombshell that was next to her than it was on the play.

And like before when Jane had only intended to kiss her goodnight, the fires were started again and Jane had once again ended up in Maura's bed. Not that she was complaining but this wasn't exactly Jane's idea of taking it slow. But after a few hours of love making Maura had drifted off to sleep and Jane was left contemplating their relationship. After an hours internal debate she had come to only one single thought. She was hopelessly in love with Maura Isles to the point where it seemed wrong to even contemplate being with someone else.

Jane was hopeless and although the thought was somewhat comforting, sleep was eluding her tonight. Around two A.M. she had quietly slipped out of bed and wrapped herself in the robe Maura had bought her in Boston to keep at her Beacon Hill home. The fact that it had been hanging on the bathroom door the first night she had spent with Maura was a shock.

Maura had simply said that it hung there as a reminder of her hope that Jane would come back to her.

Jane had snuggled into it this morning and after retrieved the book from Maura's messenger bag, she promptly sat on the couch and put her bare feet up on Bass's shell. The tortoise had looked at her for a second then reclosed his eyes, apparently not minding being used as a foot stool. Jane sat in the living room and read the story of her time in New York City under the dim lamp next to the couch.

"Jane?" the soft voice echoed out of the darkened hallway.

She looked up just as Maura came into the light in her silk robe.

"Are you alright?" she asked.

"Yeah, baby, I'm fine." Jane replied, "Just having some trouble sleeping."

Maura sat down next to Jane and curled her feet underneath her robe. "Is it a case or something?"

"Nah," she said nonchalantly, "Just happens sometimes now. About once a month or so I get a bout of insomnia for a night or two. It passes without too much issue and I usually make it up soon enough."

"Insomnia has been proven to affect your ability to function during the day and has been shown as a contributing factor in depression. It can be caused by significant life stress, emotional or physical discomfort, environmental factors and medication reactions."

Jane smiled and kissed her softly. "It amazes me to know end how much knowledge you have in that big beautiful brain of yours."

She looked down at her hands, "Actually I know that one from personal experience."

She cupped Maura's face, "Tell me."

Hazel eyes med chocolate brown ones, "I… I went through a depression after you left. I spent many nights in bed, unable to sleep, because I lost you in my life."

"Maura." She breathed, "I'm so sorry, baby. I had no idea."

She took Jane's hands into hers and rubbed her thumbs over the scars. "It's not your fault, Jane. I should have told you about me years ago. Who knows it may have helped us along."

"Maybe," she said into Maura's ear, "But I don't care as long as were together now. That's all I care about. Being the one for you."

"That's all I want now, too." Maura leaned her head into Jane, "Just love me, Jane. Love me the way I love you and everything else doesn't really matter."

She used one hand to uncover one of Maura's ears and gently began to nibble on her earlobe. Maura let out an appreciative groan as her hand let go of her hand and began to slide up Jane's bare thigh.

Jane reached to cup Maura's breast in her hand but a lurch from under her foot drew her attention.

She didn't realize that she had been shifting her feet and the tortoise didn't care for the gentle rocking motion. Jane lifted her feet and Bass scooted away slowly. Maura turned her lover so she could lay with her head on the armrest and after a second to maneuver her own body between Jane's legs, she untied the belt and opened Jane's robe. Her eyes feasted on Jane's body and her heart quickened in anticipation.

She ran her hands over every scar, every muscle, and every curve. She loved the way Jane felt against her skin and now that she had it, she craved it like she never had anyone else. While Maura's hands had been occupied with the body that was exposed beneath her, Jane's own hands had been working their way up Maura's thighs to her waist where a silk belt awaited her long thin fingers.

Once it was loose Maura quickly shucked her robe onto the floor. Jane lay there in awe of the sight of Maura's nakedness. Her lover was breathtakingly gorgeous and Jane couldn't help but feel a wave of possessiveness.

_Mine! Mine! Mine! All Mine!_ She gently pulled Maura on top of her. Bare skin on bare skin, both gasped in excitement and anticipation.

* * *

Kate collapsed on top of Rick as the last wave of pleasure consumed her. She giggled softly as she lay draped across his body.

"I was pretty good, wasn't I? He sighed.

As she lay against him panting, she resisted the urge to pinch his nipple, hard. If he was feel in half as good as she was right now, she didn't want to be the one to ruin it. She rested her head against his broad chest while he wrapped his strong arms around her. Their legs entwined beneath the sheets.

"Castle, we… have got… to work… on your… ego." She said between breaths.

He laughed softly, "A minute ago it was, 'oh Rick' now it's back to Castle." He tightened his arms some more and kissed her softly.

She slapped his chest playfully and closed her eyes while inhaling his scent. She couldn't believe she had denied this to herself for so many years, why she had been so hesitant to let him in to her heart and later let herself move into his home. This had been one of the best choices she had ever made and she couldn't even take credit for it.

Rick's tenderness had been fully revealed the day Jane had shown up looking for Kate, half frozen and very near death. He never judged Jane, never asked what happened, and he never once made a comment or joke that night. He gave unconditionally to someone he didn't know but he knew that Jane was important to her and that had been enough for him. He had opened his home to Jane and Kate had followed quickly after.

Kate's concern for Jane had pushed all of the pretenses and deflections aside. Seeing her friend so near death had stripped all of Kate's defenses away in the blink of an eye. Once she got Jane into bed, Rick had snatched her up into his arms. It was something she needed at that vulnerable moment. And when Jane cried out, he understood and let her go.

That was the moment Kate knew she wanted Richard Castle by her side for the rest of her life. Everything else was just window dressing. Jane had done that for them and she didn't even know it.

She slid to his side and laced her fingers with his, "I love you, Rick."

She looked up into his eyes and found her affection reflected back, "I love you, too, Kate."

It was a strong and fiery kiss one that added to the tingling sensation she felt on her bare skin. She curled her naked body against his and sighed contently.

Yeah, he was pretty good.


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: Wow, total laptop melt down and lost a chapter entirely. Tech stinks but oh well. So there's kind of some family drama here because that's pretty much my family when we get to the holidays, some ones always acting the fool. Next chapter were going to have some fun stuff so here we go.**

* * *

Thanksgiving Day

Alexis cursed as the curling iron touched her bare neck. She jerked it away and nearly pulled the lock she was currently twisting in her haste to get the burning object away from her skin. She set it down and gently pulled away her hair to look at the red mark that would be a source of irritation to her all night.

"Alexis, Darling?" Gram said from the hallway, "Are you alright?"

She rolled her eyes before calling out, "Yes, I'm fine Gram. Just burned myself with the curling iron."

Martha Rodgers stuck her head into the bathroom. "Oh dear." She slipped all the way in and set down her brandy before searching the sink cabinet for a flat iron. Having found one she set it on the counter and started to unplug the curling iron.

Alexis grabbed her hand, "Gran, I don't want to straighten it I want to curl it."

"But darling." She said as she shook of the teens grip and yanked the plug out. "You always look so beautiful when your hair is straightened."

"I like it better when it's like this." She said with a bit more defiance than Gran was used to, "I love the look of unruly curls and I like how it looks on me."

She narrowed an eye at her granddaughter, "You mean you like to look like Jane."

"Yeah, I like that too." She said as she cocked her hip and glared with her arms crossed over her chest.

Martha gasped as she saw Jane's attitude come out of her sweet young Alexis. She set the flat iron down and glared back at her, "Now look here, kiddo. I know that you adore Jane but that woman may not be the best influence in this house for you."

Her eyebrows raised and sarcastically shot out, "Why is that again?"

"Because there is another woman in this house who sets a much better example for you. Kate loves you and is going to marry your father. She is the one you should be looking too."

"Really?" she said, "Aunt Jane and Kate are best friends, you know. Why don't you like her, she's done tons of things for this family."

Martha picked up her brandy and took a large sip before she answered, "She's not your Aunt and she's definitely not related to you." She swirled the brandy in its glass as she regarded Alexis, "She's Kate's friend and she's in love with…" She couldn't finish her sentence but Alexis heard the ending loud and clear.

"A woman," Alexis spat. "You hate her because she's a lesbian."

Martha didn't look at her, "She's a bad influence on you."

"That's why you left," she said as her posture loosened. "You left because she was torn apart over a woman."

"No!" she said quickly, "I told you, it was time to move on and be on my own."

Alexis shot her a look that said she wasn't buying it for a second. "You've never lied to me before, Gran. Why are you now?"

"It's not a lie" she said whimsically. Alexis didn't budge and after a minute Martha caved, "Fine, yes, Jane had a lot to do with why I left. But it's not just because of her preferences for dating."

"Then what was it, really?"

Martha emptied the glass into her mouth and swallowed. She wiped her lip with her finger before meeting Alexis gaze evenly. Like an adult, an equal. "It's because of her effect on Kate and my son, and most of all her effect on you. Jane Rizzoli isn't like us. She comes from a different kind of family. She's loud, crass and rude. Kate dropped everything to take care of her over a broken heart. In my day, we drank a bit and found a new man. There were so many to choose from back then." She glanced off into the distance for a second before she renewed her assault on Jane. "Your father welcomed her into his home at the drop of a hat and she stole Kate's attention from him. For weeks, my son slept alone while his girlfriend was sleeping with Jane, under his own roof. Then she turns her attention to you."

Alexis stared in disbelief at what her sweet gran was saying. Gran didn't let up.

"Look at you." she waved a hand at the mirror, "You were this sweet, polite, young woman who could do anything in the world you wanted to do. Kate should be the one you're trying to be like. She's smart, tough, and well balanced between a tough cop and feminine grace. Jane on the other hand dresses in combat boots and tries to be a man. I see her harsh attitude and her smart mouth in you and I wonder where my sweet granddaughter went. I pray that you come to your senses soon and realize that Jane Rizzoli is a bad influence on you and the rest of this family."

"Is that so?" A masculine voice boomed from the hallway and Rick stepped into view.

Martha turned around, gasping, "Richard, I…"

"You what, mother." He said as he crossed his arms and leaned on the door frame, "You're sorry?"

She stood up to her full height, her blue eyes glistened and her red hair shined in the light, "No I'm not sorry. I am… concerned."

"Well that's too bad." He said and his face got stern, "Let me tell you what I see and then Alexis can tell you what she sees."

"I really don't want to hear this?" she said as she grabbed her empty glass. "Excuse me."

He didn't move, "No you don't but I'm going to tell you anyway. I see a woman who means as much to Kate as a sister. I see a woman who came to the ones she trusted above all others when she lost something precious to her. Imagine what that would be like. Imagine if Alexis slapped you in the face and left. Imagine how you would feel if you punched me out in front of Alexis. I know Jane a whole lot better than you do. After all, I was here the whole time. From the day she came here."

"Richard," she tried to interrupt but Rick was having none of it.

"No, mother, I'm not finished." He straightened up in the door way. "I was there. I sent Kate into that room to be with Jane and regardless of what you may think I know that was where she was needed. Kate and I hadn't been together all that long and I wanted her to move in with us. Kate didn't want her to be alone and we all took turns taking care of her which was a lot easier to do here than at her apartment so she moved in and since we were all so busy looking out for Jane, Kate and I didn't have the whole big song and dance about feeling out our relationship. We've never regretted that, not even once and it's all because of Jane.

"She was sleeping with a lesbian!" Martha interjected.

"She was holding a friend while she cried herself to sleep." he said sharply, "I know what went on and I know what didn't. Jane is in to women but she would never do that with Kate, certainly not while she was torn up over Maura. And as for her effect on our family, I think she's brought out the best in each of us. Kate says that Jane is the best partner and best friend she's ever had. Jane and Kate have a kind of friendship few people have and they're closer then sisters. There is no one in the world I want more at Kate's back on the job than Jane.

He leaned in to her, "Jane saved Kate's life out there. Did you know that? A man had a gun pressed to the back of her head and Jane was the one who killed him before he could kill the woman I love. That's something I can never repay her for, bringing Kate out of that factory alive.

"And as far as Alexis goes, I love that she calls her Aunt Jane. The kinship is through Kate, sisters remember? Sure Jane's humor can be crass and yeah she can be rude, but let me tell you one other thing. Jane has some other things that have latched onto Alexis. Determination, strength, and Jane's follow through. But I see a lot of Kate in there too."

"And what about Jane's choice of partners?" she said mockingly. "What are you going to say when Alexis comes home with a girlfriend?"

Alexis shifted uncomfortably, Rick new she wanted an answer to that one too.

He smiled at his daughter, "Nice to meet you, I'm Alexis's father, Rick."

"Richard!" Martha couldn't believe it. "You would allow her to date women?"

He leveled an understanding glare to his mother, "Only if it makes her happy because the very person you condemned this evening denied that part of herself for most of her life and the first thing she'd say about it was how miserable she was because of it. If Alexis ends up liking girls instead of guys, I'm okay with that, and that is an understanding I learned because of Jane, too."

Martha leaned against the counter and shook her head. Alexis wanted to go to her but she knew Gran needed time. Her father had never talked to her like that, civil as he had been.

Rick picked up the box of Kleenex from the corner and handed it to Alexis before he spoke again, "I love you, Mother but this has to stop somewhere. The woman has been through hell and back, a couple times over. You have no idea what she's been through, the scars she carries. Jane is going to be here soon and she's bringing Maura with her. You don't have to like her or Maura. Most people don't like there in-laws anyway. But I do expect you to be civil and keep your comments about their relationship and orientation to yourself." He turned to leave the room but he had forgotten something, "Oh yeah. Thank you for helping us out and hanging out with Olivia. I know she's still broken up over Alex leaving her to go to Africa but there is something you should know. Alex is short for Alexandria. She's Olivia's girlfriend."

He left the room, but he only got out into the hallway before he spotted Kate. She had a look on her face that he didn't see too often, naked pride and admiration.

He felt kind of sheepish that she had overheard him talking to his own mother like that but he had to do something. He rubbed his hand around the back of his head and before he could apologize, she had slid her arms around him and pulled him tight against her. His arms wrapped around her out of habit as she kissed him.

She broke away quickly and rested her chin on his shoulder. He held her for a second as she brought her lips to his ear and kissed his ear lobe and whispered, "Thank you." She looked into his eyes then, "I'm sorry you had to do that."

Jane was family and he had stood up for her against his own mother. It was then that he realized what Jane had brought out in him. Unwavering loyalty.

He pulled her closer and kissed her gently. "I love them both."

Alexis stood looking at her Gran. Martha was almost to tears. Alexis pulled out a tissue and handed it to her.

Martha looked up at her before taking the tissue. "Are you going to yell at me too?"

"He didn't yell, Gran." She said, "But he's not wrong. Jane has been good for this family."

"She turned my son away from me." She said as she sniffed.

"No she didn't." she said back, "Jane constantly reminds him to call you because family is important to her."

"Didn't she run away from hers?" she spat.

"Yeah. She did." Alexis came over and sat down on the counter next to her Gran. "She was confused and scared and she did some things she couldn't face at the time."

"She knocked out her own brother?"

"The very same one who's sitting on our couch, right now." Alexis put her arm around the older woman. "I know that she was drunk and thought he was someone else and that she spent the next two days in a motel. Drinking orange juice and sobering out. She doesn't drink much anymore and when she does, she just sips at the same bottle of beer all night long, so she can't get drunk like that again."

"That explains the orange juice." She said soberly.

Alexis patted her Gran's shoulder. "She's done more for us than you know. She never fails to step up and help. She's always there when I need her no matter what she's doing. She is fiercely protective of us and she never lets any of us down. She's especially been there for me."

Martha reached out and pulled a lock of twisted red hair through her fingers, "This does look good on you, darling. I just didn't want to admit it." She stood up and put the flat iron away and plugged in the curling iron, "Alexis?"

"Yeah Gran?" she asked as she stood before the mirror with her gran behind her.

"Are you a lesbian, too?" Gran couldn't look at her, not even through the mirror.

"I don't know, Gran. I've only dated boys and I've never…" she paused, "…You know."

She nodded and finally met those ocean blue eyes, "I'm sorry, Alexis." She said as she took the curling iron in hand and wove it through her granddaughter's silky hair. "I know sometimes I shouldn't say or do the things I do."

She grabbed her grans hand, "I love you, Gran. I miss you and I wish that you hadn't left. I wish you could know my Aunt Jane like I do because I know you'd love her like I do."

"I still don't like her, kiddo." She said as she continued to work, "But I will try to see what it is you see in her."

A small smile creased Alexis's mouth. It was a small victory but it was a step in the right direction.

* * *

Maura rubbed her hands over her dress for the sixth time as she and Jane rode the elevator up to Rick's loft. It was a nervous habit, one that Jane was slightly annoyed with but refused to mention. Instead she took Maura's hand and squeezed it gently.

"Maur, relax." She said softly, "It's just Thanksgiving dinner, there's no reason to be nervous."

"Oh yes there is Jane," She didn't look at her, "Everyone in that apartment only knows me as the one who tore apart Jane Rizzoli's heart. I know that you're not worried about it but I am. I'm going to be a constant reminder of what happened to you."

Jane stepped around Maura and stuck a finger under the blonds chin, lifting it so she would meet her gaze. "Some of them don't know but even if they do it will only take them a few minutes to realize how happy we are with each other."

A single tear slid down her cheek which Jane swiftly wiped away with her thumb. "Those are your friends in there and they're going to hate me. They're important to you and I don't want to hurt that."

"They will love you if you let them." She smiled, "Kate doesn't hate you. Why would the others?"

The elevator pinged and the doors parted. Jane pulled Maura slowly from it and into the hall way. Jane pulled her tightly and gently kissed Maura's full lips with that dimpled smile.

"Just trust me and give them a chance." She kissed her again, "I know they can be scary but I'll be right here with you and so will Frankie. You know we won't let anything happen to you."

Maura didn't drop her hands from Jane's back. Instead she leaned in closer and buried her face into Jane's ebony curls. She nodded slightly and took a deep breath. Jane's lavender scent filled her nose and then it filled her heart. She trusted Jane and would follow her wherever she led.

Jane led Maura through the front door, immediately the smell of dinner replaced the scent of Jane. Memories of Angela and the aromas of her cooking filling her home slammed into her. She missed this more than she realized. The smell of family and home, but this wasn't her family. This was New York and the though sent a pain into her heart and she gripped Jane's arm a little tighter.

Jane turned and seeing the look on Maura, she slipped her arm out of Maura's grasp and took her hand.

Colin jumped up from the couch, "Hey, she's here!" He set his beer down and slapped Frankie in the shoulder, "C'mon, Frankie."

Frankie rolled his eyes and stood up to greet his sister and Maura. Olivia turned away from the balcony windows in time to see Alexis and Gran come down the stairs. Alexis tried to rush to Jane but Kate beat her to it, with Rick not far behind.

She stood proudly staring at Jane and Maura's hands entwined. But a look from Jane told her something was up.

_What is it?_

Jane's eyes replied, _She's nervous._

Kate smiled warmly at the blond, "Maura, I'm so glad you were able to make it, today. I was hoping for a chance to get to know you better." Even though she didn't know Maura all that well, Kate reached forward to hug the woman. It was a light embrace but it had the effect she wanted. Maura had visibly relaxed and had hugged her back gently.

Jane's look was one of sincere gratitude, _Thanks partner. I owe you._

Kate nodded and stepped back as Rick slipped in to take her place, "Dr. Isles you look stunning. Particularly next to Jane here."

"Hey," Jane slugged him in the shoulder, "I clean up pretty good too, Castle."

He laughed as he rubbed his shoulder, "Yeah Jane. You do. But I know Kate wants that grey suit back so don't be surprised if you go back to Maura's in your work clothes."

"Why do you think I left the jacket at home?" She snickered then she realized what she said.

Home. She called Maura's condo home. _Damn, it's only been four days, what the hell Rizzoli?_

Kate and Rick didn't miss it either. Neither did Alexis who froze at the words.

"It's alright Jane." Kate said with a smile. "It looks better on you anyway."

"All right, all right, enough with the Riz hoggin'," Colin reached passed Rick and swung Jane up into a bear hug, her heeled shoes dangling beneath her, "Jeez girl. You may be strong as an ox, but you don't weigh nothin'."

Jane slipped from his grasp, grabbed his waist, locking her hands together, and lifted him up, all 220 pounds of him three inches off the floor. "And you feel like a sack of potatoes."

She dropped him and he laughed, "Strong as an Ox, I'm tellin' ya." He hugged her more gently and looked at Maura, "So this must me your _bird_." (Irish slang for steady girl)

She turned to Maura who was looking quite surprised by Jane's greeting. "Maura, this is Colin O'Malley. He's the friend I met at LETO." She swung around Maura and wrapped her arms around her waist. "This is Dr. Maura Isles. My girlfriend."

"It's nice to finally meet you, Colin." She said as she held her hand out. "Jane has told me a lot about you."

He pushed her hand away and wrapped his arms around her and Jane. "Lass, that doesn't even compare to all the wonderful things Jane has told me about you. But I should take both of you to task for not figurin' this thing out years ago."

He let them go and grinned. "Should have come to Boston and knocked some sense into both of you years ago."

"Wish you would have," Jane said as she kissed Maura's cheek, sweetly. "Would've saved us both a lot of time and trouble."

Maura leaned in to her, "Maybe or maybe this was how it was supposed to be."

"Now that's not the scientist I used to know." She scoffed. "What about facts and evidence and all of that?"

She looked over her shoulder and cupped Jane's cheek, "I had to learn to take some things on faith."

"Alright make room for the impatient bother." Frankie hollered out. Colin stepped aside and Frankie grabbed up his sister. He held her for a minute and let her go before he snatched up Maura, "I should be mad at you for keeping my sister for the last two days but I'm still so grateful you found each other."

Maura kissed his cheek and smiled. "I hope we'll be able to catch up more today."

Jane pulled Maura away from him, "Jealous girlfriend, here. Don't be getting all touchy with my girl." She wrapped her arms around Maura and made a tough face.

Frankie laughed, "I'm not buyin' it, Janie, besides you'd better get used to it 'cause that's what's going to happen when you come home."

Alexis opened her mouth to say something but she quickly closed it and turned around.

Jane started to pull away from Maura to go after her but before she could, Olivia came up to them.

"Liv," she smiled, "I'm glad you decided to come." She let go of Maura and hugged her friend tightly. "I meant to come over this week to say hi but I kinda got occupied." She slid her eyes to Maura.

"It's okay, Jane. The big chair has had me tied up a lot." She turned her attention to Maura, taking in her appearance from her designer shoes, up the expensive dress and all the way to Maura's perfect hair.

Jane saw the look. "I have someone I want you to meet." She slipped back into Maura's embrace. "This wonderful woman with me is Maura Isles. Maura this is my friend Olivia Benson."

Maura reached out to shake her hand, "It's a pleasure Olivia."

Olivia's look was not entirely friendly as she shook Maura's hand a bit too tightly. "Hello Dr. Isles, it's nice to put a face to all those stories I've heard."

Maura wasn't really that good at picking up on people's nuances but she was fairly certain this woman didn't like her. Worse was when Jane excused herself from the group.

"Baby, I need to go find someone, could you excuse me for a minute?"

Maura turned to stop her but Jane had already kissed her and jogged down the hallway.

"So, Dr. Isles." Olivia said.

"Please, call me Maura." She responded as she looked for Frankie or Kate. Kate had returned to the kitchen and Frankie and Colin returned to the couch while Rick passed them a pair of beers.

"Would you like a drink?" her voice had an edge that Maura didn't like. "I believe Rick keeps some fairly good wine around."

Maura looked around again and found no one else within ear shot. She decided to show some of Jane's courage and pointedly looked at Olivia. She mustered all of her teacher's voice, "Is there something I need to know about that makes you look at me the way you do?"

Liv blinked, "How am I looking at you?"

"Like I've done something to you that makes you hate me."

Olivia stared at her, "You want to get into this now?"

Maura shucked her shoes by the door and hung up her coat. "I'd rather just get it over with, yes."

A smile graced the older woman face, "I'd like that too. Shall we?" She indicated a pair of chairs by the window.

Maura nodded, "After you."

Olivia lead the way to the chairs and sat down, she was surprised to find Maura right behind her. As Maura sat down, Olivia picked up her beer from the table.

Maura eyed Frankie who smiled as she caught her eye. She turned back to the SVU Detective.

Olivia stared at her for a few seconds, "Oh, I guess I should start, huh?"

"Since I'm not sure what this is about, that would probably be for the best." She said calmly.

"Yeah." she took another swig of her beer and set it down before she rested her elbows on her knees and leaned towards her, "See, here's the thing. I don't know how much you know about my relationship."

Maura matched her, "If you are referring to Alex, I know quite a bit and I'm sorry."

"Oh, good." She said with an evil glimmer in her eye, "Jane was there when I needed someone to be. Especially after my partner just quit and disappeared and even when Alex was here, Jane never let me forget she was around if I needed her."

"That's Jane's way." Maura said with a knowing grin, "She's loyal to a fault with her friends."

"Yes she is." Olivia eyed her, "When you left, I was there for her too. Not as much as Kate was but I was there for her none the less. I know things about Jane that I suspect only you do."

Maura shifted uncomfortably, she didn't like the idea that someone else could be as close to Jane as she was. "Did you sleep with Jane?" It was out before she could stop it.

Olivia glared at her, "No. I didn't. As far as I know the only woman she's been with is you and that's not what I was getting at."

"Then what were you getting at?"

"She was devastated by you and I don't want to see that happen to her again." Liv's eyes watered slightly. "Don't do to her what Alex has done to me. I know she's strong but she couldn't take that from you."

Maura opened her mouth but nothing came out. She wanted to tell her that her fears were unfounded. That she would rather die than ever harm Jane. But she didn't know how to say it and have her believe her. So Maura let her emotions fill her and she stared directly into Olivia's mocha colored eyes.

"I came back, for her. Because when I was in Mali, I realized that no matter what happened, I had to tell her how much I love her. When I did get back to Boston and I found out that she had left. I was devastated. I felt like I was going to die from the agony of her absence. I went through a depression and then some. After I found out she was working with Kate, I came to see her. She took one look at me and fled. I thought she hated me and I wanted to die for causing that." She wiped a tear from her cheek and continued but she omitted the part about the diary, "I left my job, packed my things and moved to New York just so I could be close to her and because I thought she hated me, I never went back to see her. I lived on the hope Jane would come find me and one day she did."

Maura leaned back, "It was like this great weight that was crushing the breath from me was just lifted. And then she did the most amazing thing I have ever seen."

"What did she do?" Olivia asked. Her face was brighter now.

"She kissed me, she told me that she loves me and no other." Maura leaned forward and took Olivia's hand. "I love her more than my own life and I would give up anything and everything I have to be with her. And after meeting you, I can't imagine why Alex wouldn't do the same for you."

Liv shook off her hand, "You don't even know me."

"No, but Jane does and has said the same thing about you more than once. Now that I've seen your protectiveness and loyalty first hand, I know without a doubt she's right, not that I would ever doubt Jane. But you should know that everything Jane went through without me, I had my own version of it and neither of us enjoyed it very much."

Olivia studied the woman carefully. There was no denying that Maura felt everything she had said but she didn't want to believe it. Her own experiences with Alex screamed for her not to trust Maura with Jane. She also couldn't deny that Jane was a helluva lot happier today than Olivia could ever remember seeing her.

She stared at Maura for a few seconds before she took the woman's hands into hers. "If you really love her that much, then I am happy you found each other. But be warned, I won't let you do to her what was done to me. I care about her too much to ever let her turn into me."

Maura nodded. She had no intention of ever hurting Jane but Olivia's words and the icy stare she was giving made Maura wonder just how far Olivia would go to protect Jane. Her initial theory was: A lot"


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: Z- That's a great point about Olivia and Alex so I will clarify that in this chapter. But essentially the two biggest ships in L&O SVU is Benson/Stabler and Benson/Cabot. Since I have worked with police for a long time I know that relationships are never a good thing with your partner so B/S is impractical in my world. For the most part I follow cannon and Stephanie March has been in and out of the L&O franchise a number of times so it has caused a lot of angst in the fanfic world. One of my favorites is called _Just a Crush_ by DragonKatGal and I loved it so much that I treat it like cannon. Set in the first season of SVU so the relationship is 9 years old in this setting and it's been a rough on and off deal. I'll dig into it for you when Jane and Maura go to bed tonight. **

**PS. Originally Thanksgiving was going to be a chapter long but it was expanded because My Muse had more to say and also in appreciation of your reviews.**

**To all of the folks who are following this story, I truly thank you for your interest from the bottom of my heart. Please feel free to post reviews because MJ and Z have had a lot of influence over this story and I welcome the inspirations.**

* * *

Jane walked in to Alexis's room without knocking. Inside she found the young girl sitting on her bed with her back to the door, holding a picture in her hands. As she came in further she caught sight of the image captured there. Kate and Jane had taken Alexis to Yankee Stadium for a Red Sox Game. Jane was hugging Alexis tightly and covertly covering up the NY logo with her hand right after she had placed her Red Sox hat on top of the red head. As Kate had been hugging them both, she had been completely unaware of Jane's secret dis on the Yankees. Alexis had been laughing because she knew what Aunt Jane was doing.

It was one of the few pictures Alexis had where Jane was smiling fully and as such held a special place on her dresser next to the one of her, her dad, Kate, and Gran. Jane heard a slight sigh as she held the picture tenderly.

Jane stepped around the bed softly and sat down next to her. Despite the fact that she hated when her ma did it to her, she gently put an arm over Alexis's shoulder.

Alexis leaned into her Aunt's lean frame. Jane didn't say a word as she stared at the picture.

It was a few minutes before Alexis spoke, "You're going back to Boston, aren't you?"

Jane tugged her closer, "Eventually I'll have to go back but I really hadn't thought about it much."

"And then I'm going to lose my Aunt Jane." Her voice started to crack.

"Oh, baby girl." Jane leaned over to get a look at her face, "You'll never lose me. I'm always going to be your Aunt Jane." She lifted Alexis chin with a curled finger, "Always and my door is always open to you."

"I wanted you two back together so you could be happy again." she diverted her eyes before the next few words came out, "But now she's going to take you away from us and I don't like her for it."

She felt her eyes go wide as her eyebrows shot up. Alexis said _us_ but Jane knew what she meant was _me_. "Lex, she's not going to take me away from you. Yes I love her and this past year, I felt like a piece of me has been missing and now I feel whole again. That doesn't mean I love you any less. In fact, I love you more because you helped make this happen."

Alexis turned to her, "You're going to leave."

Jane stared back, "I'm not going to make that call without thinking it through. You taught me that, kiddo."

She sat there in her Aunt's arms before she sighed. Jane couldn't help but feel for her. Even though Jane had only been here for just under eleven months, Alexis had quickly grown attached to the Italian. Rick had been concerned at first, especially due to the emotional state Jane had been in for the first two months. But as he watched how Jane responded to the young genius and helped bring Jane out of her turmoil, he began to appreciate the friendship that had grown almost overnight.

Especially when Jane had become protective of Alexis. Rick knew that Jane would never let anything happen to his only child, especially when he considered all of the things Kate had told him about Jane. Kate had been a little more cautious but eventually she too had seen the benefits to both of them.

Jane loved Alexis every bit as much as if she had been the one who carried her for mine months and it helped her come back from that place inside where she had hidden herself away.

Jane thought about what it would mean for Alexis if she did go back to Boston but it was a hard thought and Jane wasn't ready to face it. She knew she would have to soon but she needed Maura to help her face it.

"I'm not going back to Boston yet." She said softly, "We still have time to figure it all out, okay?"

Alexis sniffed and nodded slowly.

"Okay." She hugged her again, "So let me show you the Maura Isles that I know. I think that if you give her a chance, you'll like her too."

* * *

Dinner passed with lots of food, thanks, and praise to the chefs. The conversations were fun and pleasant and after everyone pitched in to help clean up. Colin's natural ability to talk about the past soon rivaled Rick's ability to tell fictional stories and they soon found themselves in the living room listening to one of Colin's stories.

"Somehow, because I really don't want to know, Kate and Jane got ahold of a case of these low powered Tasers. And we've been zapping each other all day like kids who are having too much fun with that really annoying toy. Elliot has just been going on and on about how Jane would be a better girlfriend to his partner than Alex." Colin turned to Maura who was sitting on the couch snuggled into Jane's arms, "Now mind you, this is Jane's second year at Springfield so its four years ago and Jane is continuing to argue with Elliot that she's not gay. Despite the fact that Liv is snuggled up to her much like you are and also mind you that Liv is damn near passing out and is just trying not to fall out of the swing at this point."

He took a sip from his beer and continued to tell his story. "So finally, Jane's pissed and Liv's had enough too. She kinda rolls her head to look at her partner and says, 'Elliot just shut up and let it go or I'm going to go find a real Taser.

Colin's finger pointed menacingly at the former Boston cop, "Jane doesn't even wait for him to open his mouth before she reaches in to her equipment, piled next to the lawn swing and pulls out a goddamn stun gun and slaps it into Liv's hand. Elliot opens his mouth and before he can say a word, Liv shoots him."

Jane tries to hide her smile in Maura's hair but fails as she pulls away, "Jane! You shouldn't have."

Her laughter bubbles out even as she tries to look stern. "Oh, it gets better." It's taking all of Jane's will not to laugh at the rest of Colin's story.

Maura looks around the room. Kate is chuckling quietly with her hand over her mouth while Rick is laughing at Colin. Alexis is sitting by the fire next to Martha staring at her aunt with disbelieving amusement. Frankie is shaking his head because he could easily see Jane handing a loaded Taser to a very intoxicated Olivia. She turned back as Colin draped an arm over a slightly embarrassed Olivia.

"Alright, now Kate jumps off of the end of the swing and staggers over to Elliot who's only half-conscious and twitching on his back behind the turned over chair. She starts smackin' his face to roust him. But she's smashed too so instead of that gentle tapping like you'd you use on a friend, her slaps are knocking his head back and forth, so she's shouting 'Stabler,' slap, 'wake up', slap, 'you okay?' slap." More laughter erupts around the room and now it's Kate's turn to look slightly embarrassed.

After a second he continues, "So he finally manages to nod his head as if he's sayin 'quit slapping me you sod.' The prongs are still stuck to his chest and the wires aren't broken either. Kate looks over the chair to the girls. But she's not looking at Liv, she's looking straight at Jane and says 'what the hell is wrong with you?' Janie girl here snatches the Taser out of Liv's hand and without missing a beat she says, 'a lot.' And hit's the button again."

"You didn't!" Maura gasps.

Jane tried to contain her amusement but couldn't, "I sure did."

"Jane that was mean." She slapped Jane's knee, causing more amusement.

"Everyone there thought it was funny so I'm going with funny." She said as she pulled the blond closer, "You should have seen him though. He was flopping around like a fish on the beach and it _was_ a low powered Taser and she shot him first. Besides, it wasn't like he didn't deserve it."

"But Jane, You _are_ gay." She said.

Liv chimed up, "Only for you, Maura, and Jane is right. He did deserve it."

Maura passed a look to Liv before turning back to her lover. "Sometimes your humor is completely obscure." She looked around the room to find everyone laughing. "Or maybe it could just be me."

Jane kissed her tenderly, "Don't worry, we'll get you on board in no time."

Frankie checked his watch, "Yeah well it's goin' to have to wait. Janie, we gotta call to make."

"Yeah." Jane's smile as she held Maura tightly was easily one of the most beautiful the blond had ever seen on her. "Time to tell her the good news."

Maura hid her nervousness behind her own smile as Frankie stood up and headed to the dining room. He pulled out his phone and began scrolling through his contacts. Jane stood up and helped Maura to her feet in a most chivalrous manner before heading off to follow Frankie.

"Hey Ma." Jane said into Frankie's phone, "Happy thanksgiving."

_"Oh, Janie! Happy Thanksgiving. I was wondering when you'd get around to calling us. How are things going in New York?"_

"Great Ma." She smiled to Maura, "Kate and Rick put together a great dinner and we have a bunch of friends over so it's kinda like a family thing."

_"Oh well that's good." _She said _"I hoped that it wouldn't be just you, Rick, Kate and Frankie."_

Jane looked toward her niece, "Aw c'mon Ma. Alexis is here, too. So are Colin and Olivia."

As Jane talked to her mother briefly about the dinner Frankie put an arm over Maura's shoulder. "Hey, you ok?"

She looked at him. "What do you mean?"

"You look a little pale." He said, "You nervous or somethin'."

She nodded and Frankie pulled her into a hug, "Don't worry about it. Ma misses you bunches and she'll be thrilled to have you back." He grinned at her.

"Ok Ma, hold on a minute." A quick glance at Maura told her Jane that she needed another minute. "Here's Frankie."

Frankie stepped over and took the phone, "Hey, Ma."

"Maur?" concern resonated in her voice. "Honey, talk to me."

"I haven't talked to her in months." She said, "I'm worried she'll be angry."

"Oh baby," Jane said a she took her hands, "She could never be angry with you. You're her favorite, you know that."

"Jane." Hazel eyes brimmed with moisture as they met deep brown, "I left without a word and haven't even called because I was too hurt to hear her voice or anything that reminded me of you."

"You've been gone three months, Maur" she said, "I did it for a year. I know it's hard but she loves you and I know that she misses you. Remember that it was my own mother banned me from coming home until I brought you with me."

Maura nodded but she wasn't quite convinced, at least until small, delicate hands slipped around her arm, hands that held no scars. Maura looked over to see Alexis.

"It's okay, Dr. Isles." She said, "I talked to Angela plenty of times and all I can ever remember her talking about is how she wanted to hear from you, to know that you were alright."

Maura stared at the girl in disbelief. Alexis had never really been friendly toward her, both in class and most definitely not tonight. The looks she had caught Alexis giving her weren't like Olivia's. Olivia was part protective, part jealousy but the older woman was obviously trying to be nice after their little talk. Alexis, however, had been trying to hide anger tonight.

But there was none of that now. Alexis looked at her in support. Maura wanted to ask about the change but Jane was smiling at her niece's encouragement. It was a step in the right direction for her and Maura.

"I promise." She said softly, "She wants to hear from you."

Maura looked from Jane to Alexis and back. It was unnerving to think of how similar they were looking at her. Maura blinked and nodded. "Okay."

Frankie looked up from the phone, "Okay Ma. So I'm gonna put Janie back on, Okay?"

He handed the phone to his sister and took a seat. He wouldn't miss this for season tickets to every Bruins game for the next decade. Jane put the phone on speaker and sat it on the table. Castle and Kate stood just outside the room but were equally interested.

"Okay, Ma." She said taking Maura's hand into hers, "I have someone here who'd like to talk to you."

Jane gave an encouraging squeeze and kissed her quickly. Maura took a deep breath and leaned over the table, "Hello Angela. Happy Thanksgiving."

A loud bang and clatter sounded over the phone. In the background they heard Sean's voice calling out her name.

"Angela, are you alright." Maura asked nervously.

Guilty looks were passed around the table and Jane cut in. "Ma? Ma, are you alright?"

_"Sean,"_ Angela shouted, _"It's Maura! Where's the phone?! Where'd it go?"_

There was some shifting and banging around from the other end until, _"I got it. Here you go, babe."_

Jane cringed at the endearment her former boss said to her mother.

An unsteady voice, _"Maura? Maura is that really you?"_

"Yes, it's me. Are you alright? Did you just become vasovagal?"

_"Oh no honey." _She said, _"I was just surprised and I lost my balance for a second."_

"Vasovagal?" Rick asked.

Jane looked back at him, "Fainted."

He frowned, "Wouldn't that have been easier to say?"

"Not for Maura." She smirked.

_"Oh my god, Maura!"_ Angela said excitedly, _"Honey, I was so worried about you."_ her voice turned sharply, _"Maura Dorthea Isles! Where have you been, young lady?"_

Maura stared at the phone with trepidation as she answered, "Um, New York City?"

_"What is it with all of my kids?"_ she said vehemently, _"They all end up leaving for that awful city."_

"Ma!" Jane shouted, "That's not true. I did and Maura followed me, Frankie's just visiting."

_"Until he finds a job there."_

Kate chimed up from the back, "Angela, I don't have enough room at the 12th for anymore Rizzolis. One's already beyond the NYPD's budget."

_"Thank you Katie. I appreciate it greatly."_ Kate's humor relieved a lot of Angela's tension.

It was a thankful look that passed between the partners as questions started pouring out of the phone for Maura. The others gave Jane and Maura some privacy as they talked to the Rizzoli Matriarch.

It was about a half hour of Colin and Rick exchanging stories in the living room before Jane came over to them. The look wasn't terribly happy.

A glance to Kate said it all, _Come with me._ Her eyes pointed out Rick and Alexis too.

Kate touched Rick's shoulder and called to Alexis as she got up. They made their way into the dining room where Jane and Maura sat next to the phone.

"Ok, there here Ma!"

_"Alexis, you better get your butt up to Boston so I can thank you properly for what you've done for my girls." _She said sternly.

Alexis blinked and looked at her Aunt who merely said, "Told ya."

_"Rick, Katie?"_

"We're here," Kate replied.

_"Janie says she can't come back home yet. Something about a back log of cases?"_

Jane groaned and dropped her head in her hands. Of course her mother would but in to her work.

Kate's heart skipped a beat as she thought about Jane moving back to Boston. It took her a second before she could answer, "Um, yes. Jane and I still have more than two dozen cases being prosecuted. Even if she was to put in for transfer, it would be two months before those cases reach conviction."

_"Janie, I want you and Maura home as soon as you can get here."_ Her voice was authoritative.

Jane picked her head up and after a glance at Maura she looked to Alexis, then Kate. It was the hurt on her partner's face that caused Jane to stand up and lean over the phone.

"Ma, I'm not ready to come home yet." She said and turned to Maura, "I need to be here right now."

_"Jane Clemen…"_

"NO! MA!" the silence that followed was deafening. Jane took Maura's hand into hers and was given a reassuring smile as Maura stood next to her.

Maura nodded, "I'm with you, Jane. I'm always with you."

Jane looked at Kate and Alexis, but she spoke to her mother, "Ma, I know you miss us and I know you want us back in Boston but I can't leave right now."

_"Janie, your family is here."_

"And I have family here too, Ma." She said sharply. "I can't just leave Kate and Rick and Alexis. Besides, I still have some things I have to work out and now that Maura and I are together, we need to figure that out together."

_"You can do that here, Janie."_

"No ma. I can't." she said, "Kate and I are doing some real good for this city. Our conviction rate is really high and unsolved murders in Manhattan are going down. I can't abandon my partner like that. Kate's been the best partner I've ever had and I can't just leave her in this."

_"What about Maura?"_ Angela appealed, _"She's never liked New York."_

"Your right, Angela." The blond interrupted, "I've never cared for New York but I'm here with Jane. I'll always be with Jane wherever she is. And I can't just leave my tenure in the middle of the school year."

Angela breathed in deeply. _"Well, I guess I can't change your minds but damn it I want you both home for Christmas."_

They looked at each other and then to Kate who was her immediate supervisor. Kate nodded.

"No promises, Ma but I think we can swing that." Jane said.

"I'll put in for the time off on Monday, Angela." Maura said.

_"Katie! You get your family here too. I expect all of you here in Boston by Christmas dinner or they'll be hell to pay."_

Kate cleared her throat, "I'll try Angela."

Jane rolled her eyes, "Okay ma, we relay need to get back to our guests. Give Tommy and Lydia and TJ kisses for me."

"And from me too, Angela." Maura said.

_"Okay, but one more thing Maura."_ Angela said, _"You call me Ma now."_

* * *

Jane lay against Maura's soft curves later that night in Maura's condo. She contently traced patterns against her lover's smooth belly. Marveling had how the petite woman's toned body molded itself perfectly against her own as if they had always fit together. As if they were made for each other.

Maura, having regained control of her heart and her breathing after Jane's passionate love making, sighed contently as she ran her fingers through the tangled ebony curls that draped softly down Jane's back.

Three years it took for this to happen and if she thought about it, she could see the signs from when she had first met Jane in the Division One café. The day she had started her job as the Massachusetts ME. She had been standing in line for lunch staring at the sexiest woman she had ever seen. Who was arguing with Stan, the owner of the Division One.

At the time, she had been thinking what a shame that the beautifully tall brunette chose to exploit herself for money. Maura had never been so grateful to be wrong in her life as nearly a year later, Jane had come into the morgue for information on a cold case shortly after transferring into Homicide. Maura smiled contently at the memory and pulled her arms tighter around Jane.

"Hey, up there." Jane said softly, "Breathing is essential to the body."

"Sorry." Maura smiled at the woman she was in love with, "I was just thinking about how we met."

"Oh great." Jane rose up onto her elbow, "If you're going to ask me if I still have that hooker outfit, the answer is no and I'm out of here."

"No, my love." She smiled as she traced a finger along Jane's jaw. "About the next time we met."

"Oh." Jane thought about it too. "I remember."

Despite her quirks, Jane had asked Maura out to lunch that day. Who knew that that day would have set them both on a course to this?

"If I hadn't left for Mali…" her voice trailed off.

"If Ian hadn't come back, Maur, I don't think I would have had the courage to face how I feel, or to tell you."

"Would you have stayed with Casey?" She asked.

Jane thought about it for a second, "I don't think so. I think I might have for a while but I would have been lying to myself and to him." She cupped Maura's cheek, "You are the only one I have ever really loved like that. You said Ian was the love of your life."

"You said the same about Casey." She answered.

Jane nodded, "But you know what we are."

Maura shook her head, "Tell me."

Jane kissed Maura softly, "You are my soulmate." She kissed her again, "Two halves of the same whole. We've always hear those better half sayings but you really are my better half, Maura, and I don't like myself without you."

Maura pulled Jane on top of her before she rolled them over. Maura continued to lave her tongue against Jane's, breaking of only to nibble gently at her lip.

"I love you Jane and I'll never love anyone the way I love you." Maura said.

Jane smiled at Maura's declaration. She could feel Maura's warmth all the way down into that deep dark place in her soul where _it_ hid. Even in that cold place, Jane could feel her love for Maura.

_Never will she come to harm, so long as I breathe._ The thought rolled through Jane like ice water down her spine. She should have been afraid of it but she knew that it was the truth.

"Do you think we were always supposed to be together?" It wasn't one of Maura's kind of questions but she asked anyway.

"Yeah." she slipped her arms around her again. "I think we were."

"Why." Jane knew it was that scientist mind of hers that needed to quantify the abstract.

"It just always seemed like we were drawn together and everyone around us seemed to know it too."

Maura thought about all the times someone thought she and Jane had something more than friendship but she couldn't remember the first time she had heard it. "Who do you think knew about us first?"

"Oh that's easy." Maura looked at her lover. Jane smirked as she said the name. "Olivia Benson."

It wasn't the name she was expecting. "How could she have known?"

"Keep an eye on that one." Jane said, "She's got a really scary gaydar. She knew for a fact I was gay before I did. Had me pegged the first day I met her."

"Gaydar?" Maura looked to her lover.

"Yeah, "Jane smiled, "Internal radar for finding gay people."

"Oh," She smiled at the term, "You met her in Springfield, right."

"Yeah, back in oh-eight."

"Jane! That was only a year after…" She stopped before she said his name.

Jane finished it for her, "…After Hoyt."

Maura shivered at the thought of the Surgeon and the memory of how Jane had killed him. She needed to change the subject so she asked about Liv.

"I know a lot about Olivia and a woman named Alex but tell me about them. Why is she so jaded?"

Jane looked at her as Maura settled into her shoulder. She sighed before she let out Olivia's secret. "Alex was ADA Alexandra Cabot."

"Of the BCU Cabot's?" Maura gasped.

"Yeah, the old man's only child." Jane said, "Alex has built her entire legal career or more accurately her whole life around one goal. She wants to be the DA for New York City. She had everything going for her but she didn't account for one thing."

"She figured out she was gay." Maura said.

"Nope." Jane said, "She's known that since puberty. Not many people around here would vote for a lesbian DA so she was determined to be married to her career. She got assigned as the official ADA for the SVU. She worked with Liv and the others a lot on cases and she fell in love. Alex has been torn between Olivia and her lifelong career goals and her family's expectations."

"But you said that Olivia has been with Alex since you met her."

Jane sighed, "Alex and Olivia have been through this since 2000. Liv says it's great when Alex is in it with her but then some job comes up and Alex jumps on it or they break up because of some political thing Alex is doing. It hurts Liv, whenever Alex does this and it pisses me off because in 9 years nothing has ever changed. They've been off and on more than ten times."

"If they got together in 2000 and its 2012, wouldn't that be 12 years?" Maura asked.

"Not when you take away the time Alex was in WitSec for three years." Jane murmured.

"Oh." Maura thought, "That makes sense."

"Yeah but the thing is, I really think Alex loves her but to be with Olivia means that she has to give up her dreams of being a DA."

Maura stared at her, "And because of the political intolerances associated with Alex's career, she has to be the one to give."

"Right." Jane said, "But Liv and I both figured out that being gay doesn't affect our jobs all that much. But being a lesbian ADA is political suicide for Alex. The only thing she hasn't figured out yet is that in politics, your dirty laundry always comes out eventually. I can't tell you how much dirt Kate and I dug up on politicians during our homicide investigations."

"Have dug up, Jane." Maura said.

"Cyborg." Jane quipped.

"Yes but you love your cyborg." She joked in a robotic monotone.

Jane smiled as she kissed her. "Yes I do."

**A/N: Okay, so Thanksgiving is handled. I have an idea I'm working with My Muse on. We'll see how it plays out but I do know for sure that Maura in danger to reveal the darker side of Jane and some gruff from captain gates and definitely XMAS IN BOSTON! See ya soon.**

**Oh and by the way, the story is completely un beta ed.**


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: Oh man I hate doing this but I don't really have a choice here. Going against cannon really sucks. To Castle Writers, Marlowe and Hawley, I do sincerely apologize for this, and mean no dis respect to your work in any way. **

* * *

Monday.

Jane glanced up from the incident report she was finishing as she realized her partner had been exceptionally quiet over the last hour. Kate's look was distant and not in a good way. Jane knew why, she was probably the only one who did.

"Hey," she said quietly. "Kate."

Kate blinked and turned her eyes to her partner, "I'm sorry Jane. What were you saying?"

"Actually I hadn't said anything." Worry creased her brow, "Hun, I know this whole thing was hard on you. You want to talk about it?"

She shifted uncomfortably and glanced around. They were more or less alone in the bullpen.

Kate leaned over her desk, closer to Jane "You know anything about PTSD?"

A snort escaped Jane as she dropped her pen and held up her hands, "Uh, yeah. I think I might."

The puckered scars on her hands testified to her words. "How did you know?"

"Well, I denied it for a while until Maura made me see it. Thankfully it developed after my reviews with the BPD shrinks so I kept it hidden."

Her partner sighed, "Dr. Burke thinks I have it from the shooting."

Jane didn't comment, she merely leaned over and waited.

"After today, I think he might be right." Kate confided.

"Kate, it doesn't make you less of who you are. It's just something you have to deal with just like any other at work injury."

"How did you deal with it?" Kate asked.

"I killed the fucker that gave me these scars with his own tool." She smiled, "What do you know, I'm cured." A smug smile flashed across her face.

Kate laughed, "No really."

She sighed, "I had to get help, Kate. I just made sure no one but Maura ever knew about it."

Kate nodded and leaned back in her chair. "God, Jane. I almost peed my pants when Esposito took that shot. It was like being at Montgomery's funeral all over again."

Jane shuttered. Since they were spread out looking for the sniper, Jane wasn't there to cover Kate's back. She hated that feeling, like she hadn't been there to protect her partner.

"God, I wish I'd have been the one behind that rifle." Jane said out loud.

Kate's eyes snapped to her, "You can do that? Sharp shooter, like Esposito?"

"I'm probably better." She said and there was no arrogance. She wasn't boasting. In fact it was almost regretful, the words that came out of her mouth.

"How?" she couldn't believe what she was hearing, "He's military trained."

"I have a knack for it." Jane said as she stared at her desk, "Found that out a couple of years ago after that thing with my Dad leaving my Ma for that bimbo, Lydia."

Kate remembered. That was three years ago and Jane had come out to LETO with a huge attitude and a massive chip on her shoulder. Colin had said that she wasn't going into the CQB like that and had taken her out to blow off some steam. This was the first time she had heard about what they did out there but whatever it was, it had worked.

"We took a couple of Banshees out to this really big range on the back side of Fort Justice. Colin and I set up something like forty or fifty of these bad watermelons around all of these hills and a gulley that ran through the middle of them. Riding around like that was a lot of fun but I didn't know what we were doing until we got partway up this one hill and he just stopped next to some trees and this small flat cove."

Jane sighed, "That was when he started pulling out these rifles. I've heard about sniper rifles but I've never actually seen one until then. He set up six different rifles and this spotting scope and we shot at these melons that were ranged from 500 yards to around 2500 yards. After I got used to the rifles and he showed me how to adjust for trajectory, wind, descent, and a hand full of other things, he set up this spotting scope and walked me through shooting these things. Once I got the hang of it we found out that I'm accurate up to 1400 yards. And that I favor the Grizzly Big Boar 50 cal. even though I can use the others."

"Jane." She said, "Why didn't you say something? You should have been up on one of those buildings."

Jane stared at her. "Because I needed to be on the ground to back you up. I was only a block away when you went in."

"Jane!" she exclaimed, "Oh god if you'd have been on that roof instead of Javi…"

Kate shut up as she seen Captain Gates turn off the lights in her office and close and lock her door. Instead of heading straight to the hallway to leave for the day, she eyed Jane hand headed straight for her.

The well-dressed black woman started digging into her attaché case until she pulled out a single sheet of paper. As she approached Rizzoli's desk she not to gently slapped the sheet down in front of her.

Jane stared up at her, "What's this, sir?"

She narrowed her eyes at Jane, "Your transfer order. Sign it and it's done. You'll be in Boston by the New Year."

She glanced at Kate before turning back to her boss.

Gates snorted at her, "Don't be so surprised, Rizzoli. I know all about you and your Dr. Isles. Now that you're back together I figured this wasn't far behind."

Jane looked at the transfer order. It was official. All Jane had to do was sign it. Gates stared at her.

"What are you waiting for? I haven't got all night."

Gates's impatience set Jane's threat detection off. Something wasn't right about this. "Why are you doing this, Captain? You really want me out of here that bad you could have done it at any time so why the transfer now?"

The older woman smiled, "Rizzoli, nothing on God's green earth would make me happier than to toss your bony little ass out of here for the first damn imagined offense I can think of. But I didn't get where I am by wasting resources. As much as I don't like you, your attitude, or your arrogant ass, you get results. You and Beckett are the best damn team I got here and as much as it pisses me off to the point of wanting to throttle you, I'm hoping that you don't sign it and that you'll stay here. I really do hate you Rizzoli, but the one thing that allows me to deal with the biggest pain in my ass is that 98% conviction rate. For that, I'll get a cushion for my chair."

Jane snorted, "I can have my girlfriend make some recommendations for that cushion."

"Shit." She balked, "Being involved with you, she's probably an expert in dealing with pain in the asses." She glanced at her watch, "Look it over and think real hard about leaving. I've got things to do."

Gates headed towards the elevator.

Kate stared at Jane. Jane picked up the sheet and shook her head. "Sometimes I think she might actually like me and then she opens her mouth and screws up the whole friggin' thought."

Kate chuckled quietly but sobered when she seen Jane with her pen to her lip, thinking about signing.

"Go ahead, Jane." She said, the words felt so wrong, "Sign it."

She looked up and her eyes met Kate's. Jane could see it. Uncertainty, pain, and loss, reflected back at her from Kate.

_I can't do it. Not yet. She needs me to be here for her, especially now._ Jane clicked her pen closed and tossed it into her pen cup. She gently filed the transfer in her desk drawer with the rest of her certifications and open files.

Kate blinked.

Jane cleared her desk for the night, "I think you should consider allowing Burke to treat you. PTSD is like any other injury, if you don't get it treated, it can get infected and cause other issues."

Jane stood up and yanked her blazer off of the back of her chair and slipped it on. She clipped her holster to her left hip and turned back to her partner.

"What about the transfer?" she asked.

"I'm not ready to go yet." She said, "Especially after the talk we just had. I need to know I got my shit together before I can go home."

She came around the desk and put her hands on Kate's shoulders. "And I need to know you're alright before I can let you go."

"Jane, I'll be fine." She said, "You can go home. I'll get myself some help and I'll be fine."

She spun the chair so she was facing her partner. Jane crouched in front of her and took Kate's hands into her own, "Kate, I love you and I would just hate myself if something happened to you. I don't care what you say and I don't care how much I miss Boston, you're my partner and you were there when I needed you most. I won't let you go through this thing alone." She smirked at her, "Face it. You're stuck with this crazy bitch."

Kate smiled even though she didn't feel like it. Jane knew she wasn't all right, just like Javi when he dragged her into evidence to show her the very rifle that punched a hole through her chest. And Just like Javi, Jane would push her to face it and stand beside her when she did.

"Okay." She said softly, "I'm going to see Burke tonight. I'll tell him."

"You want me to drive you?" she said. "I'll stay if you want me too."

"No, Jane." She said as her grip tightened, "You go home to Maura. I know that you are still making up for lost time and I'll see you in the morning."

"OK but under two conditions." She said, "One. I'll drop you off at Dr. Burke's. Two, I'll pick you up at the loft in the morning."

"And if we get called out?"

"I'll still pick you up."

Kate nodded and they stood up. "You just want to have the car, don't lie."

"My Crown Vic sucks on gas and it's so expensive in the city." she said as Kate slipped on her jacket. "Besides, I think Maura and I are going to drive it down to Boston so I can trade it in for an Impala."

"Oh so now you like the Impala?" she teased as she slipped her gun on. "You hated it when we first got assigned to it. Something about lack of horsepower?"

Jane smirked, "Yeah well, it grew on me."

There was more to this so Kate pushed, "And?"

"And… I got a call from my guy at the BPD garage. Says he's got a couple of Impalas getting ready for auction. Says that Vice is coming to look at them on the first of the year and anything they don't want, he kicks 'em to auction."

Kate walked with her to the elevator. "I though you bought your car from the BPD auction."

"That's what I tell everybody but I usually get the first crack at what goes." she said. "I got his kid out of a DUI when I was working Vice and he's been my car guy ever since."

"Jane!" Kate said as they stepped in, "You got a kid out of a DUI?"

"Hey, relax. He was a good kid who had a drink or two and his friends stuck him in the middle of a bad neighborhood with no phone. He got stopped three blocks from his house for not using a turn signal and blew a point-oh-three. Massachusetts has a 'zero tolerance under 21' law so an oh-two is a dui so he was in deep. I cut a deal with the patrol that got him and let him spend the night in the tank. I cut him loose the next day after talking to his dad."

"Do I want to know what the deal was?"

Jane rolled her eyes, "I had to go out on dates with both of them. By the way, did I mention that I was dressed up like a hooker when I cut the deal?"

Kate laughed as the doors opened to the parking deck, "Oh my god! They didn't try to…"

"I grew up with one of them so he knew better. I just met with one of them at a time, let them try to woo me and turned them down nicely. I actually made out the best on that deal because I got two free dinners, some free beers, and a car guy out of it."

"Oh shit, damn girl you did make out." She said and blew a kiss at her in jest. "Remind me to have you renegotiate my union contract."

Jane laughed as she dug the keys out of her pocket.

* * *

The ride home in Rick's car service was quiet and uneventful and soon Maura found herself in front of her building with the door man reaching for the car.

The driver looked over the back of his seat with a smile. "Here you are, Dr. Isles. Will you need us here tomorrow morning?"

Maura smiled and slipped him a twenty, "No thank you, George. Detective Rizzoli will be driving me to work tomorrow." As the door opened she folded up her purse and picked up her attaché case.

"I know it's not my place ma'am, but I have to say that you and the Detective make a very lovely couple. I've gotten to know the Detective a little over the last few months and I must tell you that I've never seen her happier."

Maura's smile grew to reach her eyes, "Thank you George. I truly appreciate you saying that. I'm quite fond of her too."

He nodded as the doorman helped her out.

"That's quite a lady." He said as the door shut. He put on his blinker and pulled away.

"Good evening Dr. Isles. Welcome home." The doorman said as he pulled open the front door.

"Thank you Miguel." She said as she stepped in.

Miguel walked her to the elevator as was his custom once he found out that Maura didn't feel safe in New York. He pressed the up button on the elevator and glanced back to the door.

"Has Detective Rizzoli been here tonight?"

"No, Doctor. She hasn't arrived yet." He said. But thought for a second, "But I suppose she could have used the entrance in the parking garage. I believe she has the door code."

"Yes she does and I have given her my parking stall number as well."

He stifled a small laugh.

Maura rose an eyebrow, "What is it, Miguel?"

"I'm sorry doctor. I just remembered something that another tenant said about a police car in the garage."

She smiled. "What did they say?"

He laughed bit more as the elevator arrived, "Just that the Detective's car sticks out in the garage among all the other cars."

She stepped in to the elevator, "Why is that amusing?"

He smiled. "Most of the tenants who have cars are quite wealthy so there are more than a few Bentleys and others luxury cars down there but this is Manhattan so many of the cars do not get driven and can get quite dusty. Since the detective's car is always clean, it sticks out because it's taken better care of then cars that cost three times as much."

"OH!" She said, "Its MSRP is less but it's better maintained. I get it!"

He nodded with a grin, "Have a good evening Dr. isles."

He walked back to the front door as the elevator closed.

Maura was smiling to herself as she thought of the impression Jane was making with the people around her. Although many of the residents didn't know her it would appear that they were beginning to know of her. But Jane was making her strongest impressions with what Maura was told were the blue collar workers. People like George and Miguel. Leave it to Jane to make friends with the people who matter most, not the ones with the most influence.

She unlocked her condo and stepped in. After closing and relocking the door she reached for the light switch and was slammed against the wall.

Her heart leapt to her throat as a man pressed her against the wall. He held a gun to her head.

Maura whimpered as her arm was twisted painfully behind her back.

"Don't move." He said in a deep throaty voice.

Maura took a deep breath, "I live with a cop who will be home any minute."

"That's good. Then you must be Isles." He said, nearly purring in her ear.

She blinked this was no ordinary home invasion. "What do you want?"

"You to sit in the chair by the window and stay there until Rizzoli comes." he pressed the gun into her temple hard. "Will you do that?"

She nodded with her eyes clenched shut. He eased the pressure of her arm and slowly took a step back.

Maura tried to recall one of those defense moves that Jane had taught her and only one came to mind. She turned slowly around and before she could move something hit her in the side of the head. Maura saw stars and then she saw nothing but black.

* * *

Jane stepped off the elevator grumbling to herself about the parking garage, again.

"Think maybe if you own a hundred and fifteen thousand dollar Maserati, you might want to wash it once in a while." She murmured as she walked up the hall to Maura's door. She tried the door handle and silently thanked Maura that she had locked it. Jane pulled her key out and shoved it into the lock. But as she opened the door, her threat detection went into high alert.

Jane's eyes scanned the dark room. She immediately noticed the dark silhouette near the balcony windows. It was Maura. She wanted to rush into the room and protect her but she stamped down the impulse and focused. With a thought, she had _it_ on alert too. She slipped her 45 out of its holster and dug into her pocket for her light.

"Come in Detective. Your girlfriend has been expecting you." a voice called out from the dark.

Jane slipped inside and closed the door, not wanting the light from the hall way to reveal her location as she moved deeper into Maura's home.

She stepped toward the kitchen and a light came on in the living room. It wasn't much, just enough to illuminate a few square feet.

She glanced in to see Maura tied up in a chair with a cloth in her mouth, her eyes fluttered as she slowly regained consciousness. Jane didn't miss the small trickle of blood and the massive bruise coming from her temple. She continued to step slowly into the room, her gun searching for anything that moved.

"Set your gun on the kitchen floor or Dr. Isles dies." He said from behind Maura.

Maura's head jerked back as he wrenched her hair.

"I'll give you one better." She said, "Get up and get out and you'll live. How's that?"

She heard the hammer of a pistol being pulled back and Jane froze. She had no clear shot. Not even a nick.

"Three." He said.

Jane stared, willing him just to stick something, anything out from behind her.

"Two." Jane stepped back slowly.

"One." He said and straightened Maura's head with the barrel of his gun.

"OKAY!" she shouted.

She set her Glock 37 on the hard wood floor. As she straightened so did he from behind Maura. First thing Jane noticed was the silencer on the end of his pistol.

"Good, very wise choice detective." He said as he pulled the rag out of Maura's mouth. "Step away from it now."

Jane took one step into the kitchen, behind the island and towards the countertop.

"Don't get any ideas about that Glock 19 you have stashed behind the microwave."

_Dammit he knows about my nine mil._ She took another step, this time towards the island before she gently rested her hands on it. Not too far from the fruit basket.

"Won't you have a seat please?" He said.

"No, I don't think so." She said. "Been sitting half the day at my desk after the sniper thing today so I'd rather stand."

"Suit yourself." He said.

_Just keep him talking, Rizzoli. If he's talking he's not hurting._ "You're not here to kill us so what do you want?"

"All of your case files and notes on Joanna Beckett." He said simply.

"Joanna Beckett?" she asked as confusion set in.

"Yes detective. I need all of your files on the murder of Joanna Beckett." His voice grew stern.

"What do you want me to do, go down to the Station and sign them out of storage?"

He pointed his gun into Maura's cheek and pressed hard. Maura whimpered softly at the sharp pain. "We both know that Richard Castle copied the files there and that he was quietly investigating that case, along with Detective Beckett. Since both of them had backed off the case I know those files went to you and I need them right now."

"I don't have them." She said simply.

"Well that's a shame." He said as he slid a small knife out of his pocket. "I had hoped you'd cooperate so I could be on my way but you seem to think that I don't know what I am talking about so we'll just have to do this the hard way."

He pointed the knife at Maura and gently raked it across her cheek. He then turned the point up and slashed a shallow line along the underside of her jaw. Maura screamed.

Jane's eyes darkened in that instant. Her blood turned to ice as the familiar cold sensation filled her.

"That was your second mistake tonight." She said, her voice carried her deadly intent. "No way you walk out of here now."

He chuckled at her. "Detective, you are not in a situation where you can turn it to your advantage with words. The files, please or I will cut her up a piece at a time."

Jane sneered at him. "I don't have them and if you cut her again, I swear that you will die screaming. Just like the man who cut her neck."

He glanced down at the small scar. It was enough. Jane palmed the paring knife from the fruit basket and kept it hidden in her sleeve. She needed to get closer if she was to put it between his eyes.

"Interesting." He said, "But I am not a serial killer who preys on women. I am a professional and you would do well to remember that. Now about those files."

Jane made a pretense of resignation, even though she felt nothing. "In the desk. Second drawer. Underneath the files there."

He placed the gun to Maura's leg. "I guess I'm going to have to show you just how serious I am."

Jane saw the tendons in his wrist tighten, he was pulling the trigger. She snapped her hand out and the paring knife flew out of her hand. The blade penetrated his forearm near his wrist. Sliding right between his radius and ulna and severing two of his extensor digiti tendons. His hand released the gun involuntarily.

He screamed as Jane rushed him. He slashed at her with the knife and tried to kick her in the head. She bent right and ducked the leg before drilling her fist into his kidney before straightening. He buckled but caught himself and he struck out at her again, this time with his damaged hand followed by a kick to her stomach that failed to connect.

Jane's body surged. This was what she had trained so hard for. To have the skills necessary to fight and defend those she loved against any who would take them from her. She twisted and countered his assault. He hadn't been boasting when he said he was a professional. Jane poured her darker side into her muscles and her body roared in response.

Maura gasped at what she was seeing. The man who had taken her hostage moved like lightning. He was highly trained in some kind of martial arts but she was stunned to see that Jane was too. She fought hard and somehow managed to avoid taking a single hit although landing her own, until he managed to kick her in the side.

Jane saw it coming and was unable to stop it but she lurched with the hit and gasped when it connected. She rolled off to the left and came up across the room. Despite the pain Maura knew her to be in, Jane was smiling. But it was her eyes that frightened Maura. Jane's dark brown eyes looked like they were black. Something Maura knew to be impossible but she had seen that look on Jane's face once before.

The night she had Killed Charles Hoyt.

He pulled the paring knife from his arm and held it up. He grimaced as the blood started pouring from his arm. He went for the gun on the floor.

"Your dead, Rizzoli." He said. "And she's dead too."

It was then that the regret came into Jane. He had just sealed his fate through his own actions. There was no longer any option left.

Jane moved quickly stepping back into the fight. She kicked at him before he could pick it up. He took two swipes at Jane and she allowed him to cut her arm. Jane slipped to the left and fired her right straight into his throat, crushing his larynx. He choked but still he swung on her through the pain. Jane stepped back and launched her foot straight up at his jaw. It was a deliberate and practiced move and it snapped his neck, killing him instantly. He dropped to the floor in a crumpled heap.

Jane straightened and took a single step closer to him to verify that he was dead. His eyes wide and his head tilted at an unnatural angle confirmed what she already knew.

Jane picked up the knife as the regret seeped away, taking with it her guilt at killing him. She turned to Maura and she pulled back that dark part of herself and once again, Jane felt it settle deep in her soul.

Maura gasped as she watched Jane's eyes. That dark deadly look was gone and only her love and concern showed there. "Jane?"

Jane used the knife to cut Maura's ties to the chair. She dropped the knife and pulled her into her arms, "OH, Baby." She exclaimed, "Honey, are you alright? What did he do to you?"

Maura latched on to Jane with everything she had. "Oh god, Jane! You killed him!"

Jane held her tightly, "Yeah, baby. I did. I couldn't let him hurt you again."

"Jane." She said, "Who was he and what was he talking about."

"I don't know, Maur." She said simply, "But I'll find out. I promise."

Jane dug her phone out of her pocket and dialed dispatch without letting go of Maura who had begun weeping in Jane's arms.

_"Manhattan dispatch."_

"Rizzoli. Badge number 75205. I need response to a two-one-seven (assault with intent to murder) and a four-four-four (officer involved shooting) at Tamaro Towers, central Park west. Number 1854. I have a single four-one-nine (dead body) on sight and I need paramedics for a two-one-nine (cutting). Also contact Beckett, with two tees, 41319, my immediate supervisor."

_"Copy that detective, Units are on the way. What is your status?"_

"I'm 10-26 with one victim, alive but injured." She said.

_"Copy that, do you need to remain on the line."_

"Negative, I'm going to tend the victim."

_"FDNY reports ETA six minutes out. Patrol and 24th units enroute as well."_

Jane didn't hang up but she did drop the phone on the floor. She pulled away from Maura to look at the cut under her jaw. "Oh shit, Maura. That doesn't look good." She yanked her blazer off and pulled her t-shirt over her head and pressed it to Maura's jaw.

She then guided Maura to the couch and sat her down. Maura stared at Jane with tears falling as Jane kept pressure on Maura's cut. It wasn't life threatening but it was serious.

Maura placed her hands over Jane's, "Thank you, you saved my life again."

"I don't know about that, Maur. If we weren't together this wouldn't have happened to you."

Maura looked at her, "Jane, don't do that. I'm here because there's nowhere else I want to be. So don't you dare try to use this to push me away."

"Maura." Jane said.

"Don't." she said sternly, "Don't you even think it."

Jane sighed.

She didn't know where her conviction came from but Jane had fought hard to save her life and Maura would be damned if she wouldn't fight just as hard to keep her.

**A/N: Yeah, I said it, Tamaro Towers. Little tip of the hat to the woman who got the ball rolling on our favorite show. Plus a little extra for our newest reviewer. Hope you enjoyed Baddass Jane.**


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: Okay, some continuity errors here with the season 4 but it couldn't be helped. My theory is the same as one of my fav authors Sherrilyn Kenyon in her Chronicles of Nick series. When the passed is altered, certain things can be changed, moved, even avoided but certain events are set in stone and even though the circumstances might be different the events have to unfold. Like Castle in the Bank and Beckett with the shooter and PTSD. These are integral parts of their lives and can't be messed with. My Muse has all the details worked out. …I think.**

**Oh and I updated the Cover. I know, Jane's wearing an NYPD badge, try not to hate me for it.**

* * *

Since Maura's condo was now a crime scene, Beckett and Castle insisted that they come back to the loft until the investigation was over. Jane had made a statement to the lead investigator and Beckett had started an argument about jurisdiction. Since Maura's condo was in the 24th Precinct she really didn't have any rights to have the case moved to the 12th.

Captain Gates had shown up, garbed in a formal dress. Obviously her things to do involved a very classy event.

"Rizzoli." She said sharply. "Can't I have one single evening without you getting into something?"

Jane started worrying her hands as Gates approached her, "Believe me, Sir. This wasn't how I wanted my evening to go either." _Please don't chew me out in front of all these cops or my girlfriend._

"What happened?" she said with a clenched jaw as she looked around, seeing Maura at the kitchen table with a paramedic applying butterfly strips to the cut on her temple.

"I'm not sure exactly, sir." She said as Kate came up behind her, "He had Dr. Isles tied to a chair in the dark when I got here. He told me to drop my piece and he wanted files for a cold case. I told them I didn't have them and he cut her. He was going to shoot her when I stabbed him in the hand. We fought and I had to kill him."

"With a knife, your gun, how?"

She rubbed her hands furiously, "A roundhouse kick to his throat."

Gates stared at her.

"I've been studying hand to hand fighting for a few years and over the last six months I've been training heavily in KFM."

The blank look on the Captain's face prompted Kate to say, "Keysi Fighting Method. Philippines martial arts."

"Oh Jesus, give me strength." She said as she pinched the bridge of her nose. "What cold case was he after?"

Jane looked back at Kate, "Joanna Beckett."

Kate's eyes went wide, "No, Oh god Jane, tell me you weren't digging in to that." She sat down abruptly. Everyone who had tried to solve her mother's case had either died or been severely injured. Beckett's hand shook as she placed it over the wound she carried between her breasts.

Jane knelt next to her, "No. Kate I wasn't. I don't have the file and I wasn't looking into it. You asked me not to and I wouldn't do that to you."

"Then why was he here?" Kate's voice was shaky.

"I don't know, Kate." she said and turned to her commander, "That's why I want this in our own house. I never looked at that that case because of everything it has cost my partner. I really don't know what brought this on, Sir."

Gates eyed her but nodded as she pulled out her phone and walked a few steps away.

Detective Hadley from the 24th walked passed them towards the body. Jane knew him from a previous case. He was a chauvinist asshole and made more than a few lewd remarks to her about same sex relationships. He didn't disappoint tonight either, "Hey, Diesel, I hear that's your girlfriend over there."

She narrowed her eyes menacingly causing Kate to put a hand on her shoulder.

He stared blatantly at Maura's breasts causing the woman to shift uncomfortably as the paramedic was finishing up.

"That Molly must have the best clam in town for you to deal with such high maintenance fees."

Kate snapped her arms around Jane as her partner lurched to hit him. He stepped back chuckling to himself as Jane struggled against her Sergeant.

Captain Gates grabbed Hadley by the arm and jerked him around before she stepped right into his face.

"IF YOU **_EVER_** OPEN THAT STINK HOLE YOU CALL A MOUTH TO ONE OF **_MY_** DETECTIVES LIKE THAT AGAIN, I SWEAR TO GOD, I **_WILL_ **BUST YOUR ASS DOWN TO A FUCKING **_METER MAID_**. YOU HEAR ME, _ASSHOLE_!"

Jane froze at hearing her Captain shouting at Hadley. Victoria Gates had done nothing but make her miserable since the first day she walked into the 12th. The sight of her CO defending her left Rizzoli and Beckett both to stunned to move.

"Now take your bigotry and your team and leave." she said sharply.

"This is my precinct and my case." He said, not backing down.

"You are a detective and I am a CAPTAIN!" she shouted, "And as the highest ranking police officer in this room, a FLAG officer no less, and because this involves one of MY officers, this is now MY scene! Now GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!"

Hadley still didn't back down, "With all due respect, Ma'am. You don't have any Detectives here to secure the scene, let alone investigate while the scene is fresh."

"Wrong," she said smugly and pointed to the door.

Detectives Kevin Ryan and Havier Esposito stood by the door. Ryan waved at Hadley cheerfully as Esposito leaned casually against the door frame, a big smile on his face. He stepped inside and revealed Dr. Lanie Parrish who was standing in the hallway, ME box in hand. She smiled sweetly.

Hadley grimaced and turned back to Gates, "This is bullshit and you're going to hear it from my Captain."

"Pfffttt, Pete Edwards is a pussy and you can tell him I said that." She snarled, "Now get the hell out of my crime scene."

He looked around quickly seeing all eyes were on him. He glanced at his detectives who were already gathering by the door. He snarled as he pulled out his phone and headed for the door.

Gates waited until he was outside before instructing Ryan to close the door.

Lanie moved toward the body and Esposito followed her. Ryan walked over to check on Maura.

Gates turned back to Jane, "Before I start tearing up Edward's ass to the Commissioner, you better clue me in on a few things."

Jane sat down on Maura's couch, Kate followed her lead.

"What's with the nickname?"

"Huh?" Jane stared at her.

"He called you Diesel." She said.

Kate tried to repress a smile but failed, Not that the situation was funny but that they had to explain derogatory lesbian slurs to her. It was a conversation they never thought they would have with their CO. Jane smacked her partner in the shoulder.

"It's short for Diesel Dyke, sir." Kate said. "And it's not a friendly term."

Gates glared, "What the hell is a Diesel Dyke?"

"A masculine lesbian who wears mannish clothes and acts like a man." Jane said, trying to keep the smirk off her face.

"And a Molly?" she said, wishing she didn't have to. "I assume that's the opposite."

"Kind of," Kate said. "More like sexually submissive."

"Which is not true," Maura said from the table. "Jane is most certainly not overly masculine and rather than dominant and submissive, we actually blend quite well in the bedroom."

Jane clenched her eyes shut, "TMI, Maura."

"Well your Captain should know how drastically inappropriate that man's comments were," she said, missing what Jane was saying. "Jane's attire is quite feminine given the fact that she works in a male dominated profession."

"Thank, you Maura." She said as she palmed her face.

"Jane isn't necessarily the one in control when we engage in intercourse. We reverse our roles quite often in one coupling."

"MAURA!" Jane shouted. "Why don't you just tell my _boss_ what my favorite positions are while you're at it?"

Maura looked at her in confusion, "How would that highlight the Detective's behavior?"

Kate was trying desperately not to laugh at Maura's obliviousness. She caught Esposito with his back to them but his shoulders were jerking with quiet laughter. Lanie was holding a hand over her mouth in abject embarrassment of this conversation. Ryan was pointedly picking nonexistent lint balls from his suit jacket. Captain Gates stared at Maura in disbelief. The others in the room were trying their best to focus on their jobs.

"Maura honey," Jane said sweetly, her dimpled grin firmly forced onto her face, "I love you very much. But please don't talk about our sex life with others, especially my mother" she pointed her hands palms up at Gates, "or my boss. Okay, baby?"

Maura stared at her for a second and then it clicked in her mind. Her mouth turned to an O before she whispered "I'm sorry, Jane." loud enough to be heard across the room.

Gates looked at Kate who was covering her mouth to hide the grin.

Lanie chose that moment to interrupt tonight's entertainment. "Well, cause of death appears to be a broken neck that most likely severed the spinal cord. Point of impact is on the underside of the mandible caused by some kind of blunt force trauma that snapped his head up, very powerful because several of his neck muscles have been torn. There are also indications that his trachea was severely damaged."

Jane called to an evidence tech, "Hey bring me a bunch of large bags will ya." She took a pair of gloves from Lanie and slipped them on before she unzipped her boot and slid it off. The ET brought the bag and opened it as Jane dropped the boot in.

"What's that," Lanie said.

"The murder weapon," Jane said. She slid off the second one and passed that to the ET as well. "Kate can you go into Maura's bedroom, the bottom drawer in the dresser closest to the closet are my work out clothes."

She nodded and headed off to the bedroom. Jane pulled off her blazer and dropped it into a bag. She looked at Gates, "Is the crime lab going to need my underwear too?"

"Best to just give them all of it, Rizzoli." She said.

"Well I guess you and Lanie get the detail 'cause I'm not stripping in front of those guys." She jerked her thumb at the evidence people.

She nodded, "Lanie, take the bags from the ETs and follow us."

Jane stopped next to Maura, "You're going to have to do this too, baby. I'm sorry."

Maura nodded.

Gates lead the way into the bathroom and started passing her clothes to Lanie. Kate knocked on the door and opened it enough to set the clothes on the counter.

Jane stripped down to her underwear and Gates gasped.

"What?" she said. She seen Gates staring at the exit would on her back through the mirror.

"Sweet baby Jesus." She said, "Where did this come from?"

Jane turned and pointed to the much smaller entry wound on her belly. "You read my file. I shot myself in the gut."

Gates turned her around again and looked closely at the wound. She shook her head, "How the hell did you live?"

"Maura." Jane looked over her shoulder, "I almost died right there on the sidewalk. Maura kept me from bleeding out."

Gates looked at her pointedly, "That's one hell of a woman you have their, Rizzoli." She flicked her hand, motioning Jane to continue.

Each item was bagged individually and sealed with Gates own signature. Jane slid into her yoga pants and NYPD Athletics t-shirt. With a nod Gates opened the bathroom and lead the way.

"Dr. Isles?" Gates said, "Your turn please."

Jane went into the bedroom to find her sneakers and some sox.

She pulled out some of Maura's clothes and passed them to Kate who relayed them to the bathroom and returned quickly.

Jane ran a hand through her hair. "I guess Maura and I are going to have to get a hotel tonight."

Kate cocked an eyebrow at her, "You're both coming home with me Jane and you know that."

"Kate, I've imposed on you and Rick enough," she said, "Last thing I want to do is bring this baggage to you guys."

Kate grabbed her partner hard by the shoulders, "You listen to me and you listen good. You and Maura are safer with us then you are in a hotel room. You're armed, I'm armed and Rick will be armed too. I've played this game before. Whatever is going on, were all in it."

Jane held her gaze for a minute before dropping her eyes and nodding slowly.

"Good," she said. "Start packing."

* * *

They left Maura's condo and took the Impala over to Ricks. Shortly after they parked and several returns to the car for Maura's suitcases later, Jane and Maura found themselves in Ricks study with the writer and his fiancé. Kate was the one who started it up.

"He wanted my mother's case file." She said to Rick. "Where is it?"

Rick went to his safe and opened it up. He pulled out a flash drive and a hard copy of the file. "You've seen this Kate. It's all copies. The original is still at the 12th's records department." He set it down on the desk.

Kate picked it up and handed it to her partner. "Have you ever seen this?"

Jane held her hand up, "Yeah. Down at records, I looked through it about four months ago and you told me to back off. I left it alone ever since."

Rick nodded at the file, "This one has a lot more in it."

Jane grabbed it and thumbed through it, "Holy shit!"

"Language, Jane." Maura said softly.

Jane ignores her as she flips through page after page. "There's got to be enough leads here to crack this thing." She looks at her partner, "Why haven't you gone further."

Kate pulls down the neck line of her shirt and shows the scar over her heart, "Because it's too dangerous to run an investigation like that."

"Montgomery was killed for what's in that file." Rick added. "We both agreed to let it ride for now."

"It's been twenty years, Jane." Kate said, "Another few won't matter all that much. I can't risk losing anyone over this."

Jane handed the folder back to Kate who put it back in the safe. Rick handed her the flash drive and she put it on top of the file before closing and locking the safe.

"So if no one has dug into this then why the hit man in Maura's condo?" Jane said.

"We don't know," Rick said, "we know that whoever wants this covered up is high enough on the food chain to have this case monitored twenty four - seven."

Kate sighed, "They watch everything. LEIN, NYPD mainframe, FBI database, there all over the internet."

Maura gasped, "Oh dear."

They looked at her.

"What is it, Maur?" Jane said.

She looked at Jane with worry and trepidation. "I googled Kate for some background for my class last week. During my research I found a reference to her mother being murdered and I looked up the newspaper articles."

Kate blinked, "My mother's murder can be googled?"

"Yes." Maura said, "If you are specific enough and since I was specific about you I found it relatively easily."

"But how did they trace it down to Maura and think it important enough for them to send someone for me?"

"They monitor Kate all the time, Jane." Rick said as he rubbed his jaw with his hand, "Even if all they did was watch her computer, they'd know you were assigned as her partner when you first came to NYPD."

"They would have checked you out thoroughly Jane," Kate said, "And they would have kept an eye on you too."

"More than likely, your background would have revealed Dr. Isles to them too. And when they found her in New York, they would have monitored her too."

"It's all my fault." Maura said. "I brought this on you, Jane."

Jane took Maura's hands, "No baby, you didn't know. You couldn't have known."

"Well, Pandora's Box has been reopened." Rick said, "Only question is, how are we going to close it again?"

* * *

Later that night…

"Jane?"

Jane lay wide awake, staring at her .45 sitting openly on the bedside table, right in front of the picture of her and Maura. She had made a point of loading it with Hydra-Shok ammunition before bed. The hollow point rounds had a hardened core in the bullet and provided the highest stopping power available. The fact that they were also the most destructive wasn't lost on Jane.

"Jane? I know you're still awake." Maura said softly. "I can tell by your breathing pattern."

Jane shifted slightly underneath Maura. "Yeah. I'm awake."

"You should get some rest. We both have to work tomorrow."

"You do." She sighed, "I'm on admin right now. Going to be at my desk until the investigation is over." She thought about it for a minute, "I bet I'm the first officer in the 12th to have a shooting board without having shot someone."

"Jane." Maura kissed her neck lightly, "Between my statement and yours, you will be fine. Kate backs you and so does Captain Gates."

"Yeah" she scoffed, "That would be a first for me."

She shifted again causing Maura to rise up on her elbow, "Are you alright?"

Jane tugged at her shirt, "No. I'm not used to lying next to you with clothes on anymore. My usual stuff feels itchy."

In light of recent events, both women had donned pajamas for bed tonight. Jane had put on sweat pants and a t-shirt in case they were attacked again. Maura wore her stylish Champaign colored silk pajamas out of respect for being allowed to stay with Jane.

"I have some extra silks in my suitcase." She suggested. "They would be a lot more comfortable than cotton."

"Right" Jane said, "Hard to be a bad ass in silk, Maur."

Maura nibbled at her lover's ear, "I think you could pull it off. Plus there is the advantage of being underestimate-"

Her words were cut of my Jane's hand. Maura froze as she realized Jane's right hand was also holding her backup pistol, the grip and her thumb firmly pressed against her mouth. Jane's left hand was already wrapping it's self around her 45. That was when Maura heard the door handle.

Jane swung away from Maura landing in a crouch next to the bed, both Glocks pointed at the door as it creaked open. Jane's arms were rock steady and in the dark, Maura could see the vein pulsing on her lover's neck, betraying Jane's racing heart.

The door opened slowly to reveal Alexis. Her eyes went wide as she took in her Aunt's lethal and terrifying stance.

"Aunt Jane?" she said nervously as she stepped in to the room. Jane dropped her hands when she knew Alexis was alone.

"God damn it, Alexis!" She shouted quietly, "I almost shot you!"

She dropped her 45 on the table and her 9mm on the bed next to a very shaken Maura.

"I'm sorry." Her voice quivered, "I… I didn't… mean to scare you."

Jane plopped down on the bed and tried to sooth Maura's trembling hands. Maura breathed in deeply and visibly tried to relax. She too had thought the worst.

Jane turned back to her niece, "Alexis it's two in the morning and you have class in five hours. What are you even doing up?"

She came to the bed, "I… Dad told me about what happened and I… couldn't sleep. I just… I just needed to know that you were alright. That you and Mau… Dr. Isles were okay."

Maura sat up, "Alexis, you can call me Maura. Really I would prefer it."

"Aside from scaring the crap out of us were fine," she said harshly. The look in Alexis face stopped Jane cold. Before she could walk away Jane caught her hand, "I'm sorry, Kiddo. I didn't mean it like that. It's just… It's been a helluva day."

She nodded and Jane pulled her to sit next to her. Maura swung her legs over the bed and sat on the opposite side of Alexis. Jane draped her arm over her niece.

"Hey." Jane said, "I'm alive and still kicking ass so what's up."

"I'm sorry Aunt Jane." She said, a fresh tear sliding down her cheek, "I know it's irrational but I just had to check on you."

"I understand." She said as she tugged on her shoulder, "I'm fine and so is Maura. We're going to get through this, honey."

She nodded, "I know but I'm, I'm scared. I seen Kate checking out Dad with a gun tonight and I'm really scared, I don't want to lose any of you."

"I know, kiddo." She tried to reassure her but it was only partly successful.

Maura felt for the girl. Far too many times had she seen Jane rush off into danger and death, never knowing if she'd come back in one piece, if at all. And that was when she was just her friend. Being her partner or significant other brought a whole new light on the subject. Now you couldn't pry Maura away from Jane. She needed to know Jane was okay. She didn't even know how she was going to teach tomorrow with that thought in the back of her mind.

"Alexis?" Maura said, bringing the redhead's full attention back to her, "I know your nineteen and a college student, but would it make you feel any better if you stayed with us tonight?"

Jane was shocked at Maura's suggestion. She was even more shocked when Alexis nodded.

Although Maura could read _her_ like a medical journal, she had no idea how she could have read Alexis so perfectly. The girl was terrified of losing one of her family and had Maura not have been there, it was exactly what Jane would have offered to her niece.

Alexis had gone through this kind of thing too many times already. Since her father started working with Beckett, she had seen so many things that were starting to strip away her naiveté. Kate had been shot twice, her apartment had been blown up, she and her father had been taken how many times. Alexis and her father were recently taken hostage in a bank once while getting money for one of Gran's ideas.

Jane reeled at the way Alexis's life has turned into since her family had taken in cops. Jane mourned the loss of Alexis's innocence, and if allowing her to stay would help her keep that a little while longer, then so be it. Jane stood up and tugged the covers back as she subtly palmed her pistol.

Alexis stood up with Maura and slid under the blanket. Maura slipped in next to her on the far side and Jane slid her pistol under her pillow before joining them. Alexis settled in between them as Jane slid an arm under her niece's head, while Maura toyed with one of those red false Rizzoli locks. It didn't take her long to fall asleep.

Maura watched Jane as Jane watched Alexis. She smiled when she knew Alexis was out and looked back at the blond.

"Thank you." she whispered. "I know it means a lot to her."

Maura smiled and moved her hand to Jane's ebony locks. "Your turn." She said softly, gently twisting the black silk between her fingers.

Jane yawned, "Did you read about this in some medical book?" She said sleepily.

"Read about what?" She asked.

"Which hairs to play with to cause sleep?" She said as her eyes drifted shut.

"No. I just know what you like." She said as she watched Jane lose against the sandman.

"I love you." she murmured.

Maura smiled, "I love you, too." She said and let her arm drift until it rested on Jane's ribs.

Alexis snuggled her back into Maura's side as she burrowed her head into her aunt's shoulder. She smiled slightly in her sleep, and a soft snore came from the young girl in rhythm.

Maura chuckled as sleep overcame her. That night she dreamed of carrying a child in her belly, Jane's child. Dreamed of their daughter snuggled up between them after a bad dream, and for some reason, their child had red hair.

**A/N: I know, a slight twist of reality on Castle: Cops and Robbers, but no choice. Only way to Keep Beckett saying, "You kill him and I'll put a bullet in your skull." I may retouch on that in a bit. Depends on YouTube.**

**Z- FYI. Because I haven't seen Castle season 4, I may put a psych scene in with Kate talking to Dr. Worf If I can find enough YouTube on it to be somewhat consistent. Damn, that really messes with my head. You don't hire a former Klingon to be a shrink, no matter how domesticated but I'll put that in check because I've been running off of synopses. And since I don't remember saying this, congrads on the nephew. Super cool being an uncle. Just for you, I threw a gem in here for you about Gates. Good Job on my mistakes, call em out cause I'm writing them down.**

**MJ- Oh my, were going to light up Jane a bit tonight but tomorrow she's going to shine like a new penny just for you.**

**M (for Mommaj69) I hope you're having as good a time reading as I am writing. Welcome. Tell me what you like and I'll see if I can work it in.**


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: Sorry about the delay, I got stuck in a whole bunch of bad signal areas for the last two weeks. I have a hand full of chapters and am about ready to post them I just had a few details to iron out. Muse has been hit and miss and insists that I'm on my own until we get to Boston. Oh yeah, it's coming. Just a note that all chapters have been updated, corrections in grammar and some tie in details fixed but you should reread from the beginning and please note that due to MJ a deleted scene was reinstalled in the hospital.**

**Z: Made all the corrections you pointed out including that "Y". Good looking out pal. Appreciate it.**

**MJ: I got some pretty good fluff on the way, particularly linked to Angela and Maura. Pluss some funny as well. Thank a bunch for your help. I had to put the scene back where it was supposed to go.**

**M- OMG that's priceless. Wish granted, heads up for it.**

* * *

Kate dropped into her chair and tossed her pen on her desk in frustration. She hated working cases without her partner. Since Jane was on administrative duties, she was required to do office work, cold cases, and today she was fulfilling the role of department courier. She had headed out this morning with six stops to exchange case files around Manhattan Island. One of which was at the 15th so she planned on staying for a few extra minutes to catch up with Sergeant Benson. Jane had also said she was going to sneak her lunch at Icahn so she could check in with Maura.

Kate was pretty sure Gates knew her intentions but hadn't said anything about it. Instead the Captain had been tied up with the shooting board all morning. Jane was scheduled to be back at the 12th by 1:pm and was expected to be present for the findings on her killing of the John Doe that Lanie was currently autopsying.

Kate had caught a break in the case she and Jane had landed right after thanksgiving and was eager to collect her partner and go investigate their latest lead. She had already filed the paperwork and was going over the case while she was waiting on a warrant. Ryan and Esposito were on standby to back her up with the warrant.

As much as she enjoyed working with them, Kate had come to rely on Jane. Her sarcastic wit, her intuition, her views on a scene, all complimented her own skills. Kate finally understood why Liv had been thrown so badly when her partner of 11 years just up and quit one day. Elliot Stabler had been a great partner for Olivia Benson and they had been through a lot together. Kate couldn't imagine what that would be like, being partnered with Jane for so long. She was already one of the most important people in her life.

Jane Rizzoli was family and Kate couldn't love Jane more had Joanna Beckett given birth to them both on the same day. That's why the thought of Jane going back to Boston was a thought Kate didn't even want to acknowledge. Kate knew it was irrational. She had partners a plenty that she liked to work with that moved on, but it was different with Jane. She didn't want to lose the best partner she ever had.

Although the homicide bull pen was a hub of activity, Kate glanced around and noted that she was relatively alone at her desk. She leaned toward the window and opened the bottom drawer of her desk. She knew what she was looking for and she flipped right to the empty case file. Empty except for one single sheet of paper. She left the file and the drawer open but pulled out the crisp white sheet of paper she had filled out two days after she and Jane had visited Maura's class.

She studied it again, making sure that it was filled out correctly and all the information was accurate. It awaited two signatures, hers and Captain Victoria Gates. When Gates had shoved one of these at Jane only a few days ago, Kate had secretly opened this drawer. Had Jane signed her transfer order, Kate would have signed her own and handed it to the Captain right there.

A wave of guilt washed over her about that. She hadn't talked to Castle about it at all and the last thing she wanted to do was put herself into a position where she had to choose between him and her partner. She had tried to talk to him about leaving New York many times but it never seemed to come out. She knew for a fact that Alexis would be all over the idea. She loved her Aunt, perhaps a bit too much but she couldn't point fingers when she herself felt the same. But then again, Jane had that effect on people.

On one of her visits to Boston, they were on their way to Fenway Park when Jane got called out to a murder scene. She had the chance to meet Jane's colleagues and see her at work. One of the things that had surprised her was how much respect her colleagues had for her. When she had asked an older burly detective about it he shrugged and said, "It's Jane. She's hard not to love."

Detective Korsak had been right. Jane was hard not to love once you got passed her cocky, surliness. Kate put the sheet back into its empty file at the back of the drawer. She knew that she had to talk to Rick about this and soon. Preferably before he found out on his own.

The elevator dinged and the man himself stepped out with fresh coffee. He smiled to her as he came over and sat in his seat at the edge of her desk. He passed her one of the cups and set the other on Jane's desk. The look on her face as she snatched up the steaming cup was what he had been after.

After taking a sip, she sighed, "Oh, I needed that." She took another sip and set it down.

"Thought Jane would have been back by now." He said as he eyed the empty desk.

Kate shook her head as her thoughts spun around her signature, "She's going to be gone all morning."

He dipped his head into her downtrodden vision, "Are you okay?"

"Do you know that point in the work day where you know all your productivity is lost?"

"Yeah," he said, "I know it well."

"I hit mine at about 8:15 this morning." She sighed and braced her forehead against her hand.

"Yeah." he hated to do this but they had to face it anyway, "Have you given any thought about when Jane goes back to Boston?"

"Oh, god," she covered her eyes with her hands, "You are so creepy sometimes. She dropped her hands and stared at him, "I was just thinking about that before you came in."

He smiled, "Anything you want to share with the love of your life?"

She raised an eyebrow at him, "Love of my life? Awful presumptuous aren't you, Castle?"

"Well you are the love of my life. So" he grinned.

She laughed, "Said the man who's been married twice." She grinned back, "Told you, I'm a one and done kinda girl."

"And third times the charm for me." He smiled and leaned in to kiss her.

She put a hand on his chin to stop him. "How much do you love me, really?"

"More than I have ever loved someone." He said confidently.

"Enough to leave New York If asked you too?" She asked cautiously.

He stopped, "Are you sending me away or something?" When she didn't smile his wilted, "Kate."

"What if I wanted to relocate to Boston?" She bit her lip nervously, "Would you come with me?"

Rick leaned back, his mouth open. He sputtered for a second before, "You mean if Jane goes back you would want to go with her."

"Kind of like that." She said.

"Exactly like that, Kate. Are you having an affair with Jane?" he deadpanned.

She punched him in the shoulder, "No Castle I'm not having an affair with my partner." She punched him again, "Got you're such a… such a… _man!"_

He rubbed at his shoulder, "Try not to hate me for it, I was born that way." He sipped at his coffee before looking at her again. "Tell me something?"

"What!" she shot.

"Is it something that you really want." He asked seriously, "I mean, is it worth giving up everything here. All of the things you've done, every bit of the respect that you've earned. Is it worth starting it all over again?"

She dropped her head into her hands, "I don't know, Rick? I don't want to lose her. Partnerships like ours don't happen every day. We work great together and we do so much good together. We're both driven by Justice, not closed cases."

"So unsolved murders go down in Boston but go back up in New York." He regretted it as soon as he said it. "That sounded a lot better in my head than it did out loud."

Kate was glaring at him, "Nice, Castle. Real nice. Why don't you just lay the entire cities problems right at my feet."

She got to her feet and as he tried to catch her hand she shook him off, "You could have just said no, Castle. You didn't have to try to guilt trip me into staying."

He got up, "Kate that's not what I meant."

"Eat it, Castle." She said as she stormed off down the hallway towards the elevator.

* * *

After hearing an extensive report on his illicit deal, he sat back in his chair and smiled to himself. His ingenuity had ensured that he would have more than enough funding to advance his career to the highest level. He stood at the edge of all of his dreams coming true, Power and influence. It was almost touchable.

His smile wilted as he thought of one loose end that could ruin it all. There was only one person who could end not only his career but his life and freedom. She was his only conceivable liability, one that he had sent two others out to eliminate but the detective from New York still lived and the man he had sent out after her had gone missing. His assistant had looked into the man's disappearance a few hours ago and had not yet reported back.

The thought of her still alive, still digging in to that attorney's murder sickened him. He should have killed her when she was a girl but he had no idea that things would turn out like this. That fool, Roy had done all he could to protect her. Now that he was dead, there had been nothing to stop her death but she was annoyingly a survivor. It didn't help that he had to make it quiet lest her death blow back on him.

He was about to pick up the phone when a knock sounded at his office door.

"Come in." he shouted hoping it was his assistant.

It was, the young man entered and reclosed the door before having a seat on the other side of his boss's desk. He sat his attaché case on the floor and pulled out a file.

"So what do you have, James?" He asked sharply, "What happened?"

"Well sir. I have some disturbing news." He held up the file so his boss could see the NYPD logo on it, "I'm afraid that Murphy was killed before he could complete his task."

He cursed sharply under his breath. As always James ignored it and continued. "As you know he had devised a plan to draw her into the designated area and everything had gone according to plan up to his last contact with me. After that his task went south.

James opened the file, "This is an NYPD debriefing and investigation in to the shooting of Nathanial Murphy. He led her and her partner in to the ambush at the factory. According to her statement to the shooting board, Murphy had a gun to the back of her head and was about to pull the trigger when he was killed by a single shot to the head by her partner."

He leaned forward, "If I remember correctly, Beckett is teamed up with that cop from Boston, right?"

James nodded and pulled two more files from his case and flipped open the NYPD one, "Yes sir. Detective Jane Clementine Rizzoli, NYPD Badge number 75209. She transferred into NYPD April of this year after a three month leave of absence from Boston Police."

He snorted at the name, "Clementine? Interesting choice." He thought for a second, "Tell me about the leave of absence."

James set down the NYPD file and picked up the BPD one. He flipped through it quickly and found the page he wanted, "It says that the leave of absence was requested by Rizzoli, citing personal reasons." He stared at the post it note stuck to the page, "One of our confidants in Boston has suggested that it may have had something to do with a Dr. Maura Dorthea Isles, who also had a three month leave of absence as the Chief Medical Examiner for Massachusetts. Apparently, our source has noted that the Doctor and the Detective had a very close friendship, possibly romantic in nature, however he hasn't been able to prove it.

He turned a page and continued on, "Since Boston isn't high on our _friend's_ target list, we haven't had a lot of reason to dig in that area so most of our information here has come from official records."

"I thought you did a psych profile on Rizzoli when she was partnered with Beckett."

"I did sir." He returned to his own manila folder, "Detective Rizzoli was one of BPDs best. She was the youngest officer to make detective in BPD history, first woman in BPD Homicide. Three years ago, she was given a medal of valor for shooting herself in the stomach during a hostage situation."

"How do you get a medal of valor for shooting yourself?"

"She was taken hostage by a corrupt detective who tried to escape by holding a gun to her head. She pulled the gun to her stomach and pulled the trigger. The bullet killed him after it passed through her."

"And you weren't concerned that this woman was teamed up with Beckett?" His blue eyes were fixed on James. If looks could kill, James would have been burned to the ground in seconds. "This is exactly the kind of thing you were supposed to prevent."

"I wasn't concerned because our psychological profile of Rizzoli changed drastically around middle of January. What ever happened is not in official records. That combined with the fact that she wasn't a person we would take an interest in until she came to New York City. Since we keep tabs on Beckett that was when Rizzoli came to our attention. Observations of her have strongly suggested that Rizzoli had been broken emotionally and was no kind of asset to Beckett. Her first NYPD evaluation at her orientation course at the academy was still suggestive of emotional turmoil and confirmed my initial estimate of a liability not an asset. My best analysis was indicative that she would never fully recover."

"Tell that to Murphy."

"Yes sir, Murphy's death at the hands of Rizzoli was a highly unexpected event. I am currently reevaluating all of our information on Detective Rizzoli including the shooting report." He flipped through the NYPD file again, "I suspect that something significant has happened to detective Rizzoli, both to cause the change in her behavior as well as her recent behavior. However I believe that in the case of Jane Rizzoli, the psychological profile may not be reliable."

"Meaning?" he leaned forward, "what? That she's fooling all of the shrinks in two police departments?"

"I admit, that is not very likely, however based on what I have learned about her over the last few hours, if she becomes the kind of detective she had been in Boston… Well sir, you wouldn't want her in Joanna Beckett's case. But not to worry unnecessarily, I have already contracted someone to clean up the mess and I am expecting a report this evening."

He thought about that while James was putting his files away. This was not the kind of information he wanted to hear. Detective Katherine Beckett was his greatest threat. Add that to what he was being told about Jane Rizzoli and this could easily become a nightmare.

"I want a complete work up on Jane Clementine Rizzoli, strengths, weaknesses, familial ties. I want you do dig so far into her life until we know what she has for breakfast before she does."

James nodded, "I'll have it for you by Friday, sir."

As James left, he leaned back into his chair and resisted the urge to reach for the cognac he kept in the drawer of his desk. He wouldn't let those detectives make him weak. Not when he was this close. He stood to look out the window of his office. Off in the distance he could see the Washington Monument. Soon he would have a different view of it.

* * *

Kate slid the magazine into the Glock 37 she was checking out and racked the slide back. It snapped forward and she took aim at the target at the end of the alley. The shadowy shape of a man with crash dummy circles on it fluttered at the end of the range.

She lined up the sights and squeezed off two quick rounds. They both punched holes above the heart mark. She reaimed and fired twice more. Two more stiches rising away from the target.

She felt a hand pull her hearing protectors away from her head.

"You're doing it wrong." She felt a small hand on her back, pushing slightly, "Lean a bit more into it." She did. She felt her partner come up behind her to look down the sight, "Now tip down just a little bit," a hand on her arm. "Right there."

She backed up and the hearing protector was replaced.

The gun shot sounded twice as she put two neat holes almost on top of the heart.

She did it twice more, and the slide locked in place. She set the gun down and pressed the recall button to bring the target back.

Jane stood next to her, earmuffs around her neck, and safety glasses perched on top of her head. Jane smiled as the target came back. Kate's last six shots were kills.

Kate took the target down and replaced it and sent it out farther. She adjusted the sight on the Glock to account for the difference and once the target stopped she replaced the magazine and the slide slid into place with a satisfying clink. She aimed and fired in two-shot bursts. The ten rounds went down range and hit the target.

With the slide open again, she set it down and recalled the target. She also pulled off her ear muffs and set them on the table.

Jane was behind her looking over Kate's earlier targets. She could see when Kate had switched weapons.

"Big difference between a nine millimeter and a 45 caliber, isn't it?" She said.

Kate pulled the target and replaced it, "Yeah, big difference." She sent it down further and pulled the box of ammunition to reload the magazines.

Jane looked at her then, target still in her hands, "You want to talk about it?"

"About what?" she said as she slapped a mag onto the table and began slipping rounds into the next one.

"About what's had you down her at the range for the last couple of hours." She said as she set the target down and retrieved her partner's recent replacement.

"No. I don't." She said as she slapped another one down and grabbed the last mag. "I want to shoot."

Jane set the target down and stepped into the booth next to her. "Want me to shoot him."

Kate knew who he was and knew that Jane was joking. "No. I might need him later for target practice."

Kate slipped the earmuffs back on and Jane stepped out. Ten shots later Jane was back at her side. Kate pulled one muff back and recalled the target.

"I have a more satisfying way to blow off that steam." She grinned, "It involves a fifty cal."

She stopped at the thought of another sniper rifle. She set the gun down and looked pointedly at her partner.

Jane's grin slid as her partner's eyes focused on her. She could see the fear and the hurt in her friends eyes. "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean…"

"I… I think I've had enough of snipers for a while." She said.

"Okay," she said and started to turn away.

"Hey." Kate said and Jane stopped, "when I'm ready, there's no one else I want to help me with that."

A slight smile creased her face, "I'll be there."

She turned to leave and Kate caught her again. "You don't have to leave. I'm just working out some things." She turned back and changed out the target and sent it back even further, "How good are you, Jane."

She thought about that for a minute, "Sometimes, just sometimes, I think that the only thing I'm good at is understanding death."

"You good at a lot of things." She said, "I know if Maura was here she could google a list for you right now."

Jane laughed at the thought of her girlfriend spewing all the things she thought Jane was good at, "She's biased."

"Speaking of which, how was lunch?"

"Great, we had sex on her desk." Jane grinned mischievously and Kate knew she was lying.

"Too much information, Rizzoli." She said with a chuckle. "Don't want to hear about how quick you are."

"Oh c'mon. Don't tell me you and Rick haven't gotten it on in the evidence room or something."

She looked at Jane, "Nope, never." Jane's eyes went wide, Kate was lying too.

"Just tell me it wasn't on my desk." She groaned as Kate quietly reloaded the empty magazine. "Horn dog."

Kate grinned, "I told you he has a cute ass."

Jane smiled at the old joke, "And I told you, yours is better."

Kate stepped back and waved Jane in, "Show me how good you are."

Jane slid out of her blazer and handed it to Kate. She then pulled her 45 and pulled out the magazine and handed that to Kate.

"Hollow points?" she said eyeing the rounds.

"Hydra-shoks." She said, "stopping power of a hollow point but more accurate after penetration. The brass and lead mushroom out like a hollow point but the groves in the tip are supposed to make it do it evenly."

"And that pointy core." She said as she set the magazine on the table behind her.

"Stability, at least that's what I'm told." She slid her glasses on and slipped her ear muffs on.

Jane sent the target all the way back and took all three magazines in her right hand. She slid one in and locked it in place before pulling the slide and releasing it. She kept the other two in her right hand as she slid the pistol into its holster. She loosened her arms. Kate watched Jane for the slightest movement.

Before she seen it, Jane had the pistol out, leveled and was firing all ten rounds at the target. When she was empty, she hit the release and like a machine, pulled the magazine out in a downward motion and replaced it with the second mag in an upward motion and catching the slide release, the bold slid back into place. It only took a second before Jane was already firing again and like before, when the slide locked back she jerked her arm down and back up and the slide slammed forward into place and Jane was firing her third barrage. The whole process took less than 20 seconds and Jane had sent 30 bullets into the target.

She released the magazine and set all three on the table before she pressed the recall button. She didn't put the gun away and Kate watched as heat poured off the barrel. Jane waited a minute for the target to return. She set her pistol on the table and pulled the target before handing it to Kate.

"That's thirty yards." She said as she pulled off her ear muffs.

Kate looked at the target that had a shredded center mass around the heart mark and the head mark. She stared at Jane. "Jesus, Jane."

"Yeah." She said as she replaced the target and sent it down the range. She then began reloading the magazines.

Kate looked at her, "Teach me."

"I can try but I just have a knack for it." Jane said as she examined her pistol. She slid a single round directly into the now cool chamber and hit the slide release. She slipped on her hearing protection, then carefully aimed at the target and fired. The target fluttered and Jane recalled it.

"What was that for?" Kate asked after Jane slipped off the ear muffs.

She held up the pistol, "Firing that many rounds so quickly heats up the barrel too fast and you can actually warp it." She pointed at the target, where a neat hole was in the center of the head mark. "I was just checking to make sure it's still accurate."

Jane picked up the borrowed 45 and set it on the back table along with its ammunition. She then placed a box of nine mil shells on the shooting table and had Kate draw her sidearm. Kate assumed her hand under shooting stance and Jane guided her as she fired round after round at the target.

After the box was used up, Jane helped her clean up the brass casings and picked up the targets. Kate returned the loaned 45 to the armory and they headed up to the bull pen.

Jane didn't say anything in the elevator but her look said it all. _I can't help if you don't talk to me._

Kate stared at her partner's reflection. _I need to do this on my own._

_Okay, but I'm here for you._

Kate nodded, "It's scary how we can do that sometimes."

"Yeah but I meant what I said, I'm here for you."

"I know, Jane." She said and put a hand on her partner, "I appreciate it."

They stood in silence until the doors opened. Beckett glanced at the briefing room as she passed by on her way to her desk. Jane didn't say anything as she sat down in her own chair.

Kate looked up at her partner, "So what happened at the board?"

Jane sighed and leaned back in her chair, "I gave my deposition and they dismissed me. The Captain said she'd call me if they needed anything else."

Kate nodded and picked up the case she had been waiting on the warrant for. She tossed it onto Jane's desk. "Anything in there I missed?"

Jane flipped open the file and read through the pages, "Your just familiarizing me with the case, aren't you?"

"Well, we can't do anything until the warrant comes in so why not." Kate met Jane's eyes, _I know they'll clear you._

Jane nodded and ran through the events in the case, "Looks solid to me." She said and closed the file. She picked up her pen and tapped at her lip nervously.

The ringing of Kate's desk phone startled her. She quickly picked it up, "Beckett."

_"__Word of caution Beckett,"_ Lanie said, _"__Don't piss of your partner."_

"Why's that?" She said with a chuckle.

Lanie didn't laugh, _"__You wouldn't believe the amount of damage she did to this guy's throat."_

"What do you mean?" she sat up in her chair.

_ "__I mean that if not for the impression of Jane's boot in this guy's throat, I'd say she tried to take his head off with a battering ram or a baseball bat."_

"He was trying to kill her and her girlfriend." She said, "You get an ID on him yet?"

_"__Not yet,"_ she sounded perturbed, _"__His fingerprints aren't in AFIS and were still waiting on CODIS for the DNA. I'll call you when I get an answer."_

"Okay, thanks Lanie." She said and hung up.

"Did she ID him?" Jane said hopefully.

"Not yet," she huffed, "Prints not on file and waiting on the DNA."

"Ugh," Jane groaned. "Well that should take a week or two knowing CODIS."

Kate picked up the file and thumbed through it before tossing it down in frustration. They heard the briefing room doors open and Captain Gates came out in a peak. She strode passed Jane's desk on her way back to her office.

"Rizzoli, Your reinstated." She barked at the detective, "Beckett, find Ryan and Esposito and get that warrant."

"Yes sir!" they shouted together.

Kate smiled at Jane, "Told ya."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah." she said with a grin as she yanked her coat off of her chair.

Kate laughed as she too grabbed her coat and headed out with her partner. Within an hour they had the warrant and twenty minutes after that they had everything they needed for a conviction.


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N: Just a touch of the diary for giggles. ROAD TRIP!**

**Z, MJ, M: Please leave your comments. I need em. Pleeeease.**

* * *

Three weeks later.

_They parked on the outside of the building off of 86__th__. Jane and Kate got out of the car and after Kate popped the trunk, both women started to slip on their body armor. Jane had strapped her Glock 19 to the small of her back before checking out the new Glock 37 on her hip. It was strange that Jane always seemed to carry two fire arms whenever she could. She adjusted Kate's straps on her vest before turning so Kate could do the same. Neither one of them said a word as I dug out my own vest. Unlike theirs which sported the words police on the back and NYPD on the front. Mine had the words Writer in white._

_Jane had tried to tell me to stay in the car but as usual I ignored her as I had done Kate for years. I figured it would take longer for her to get used to me being around than it did Kate. Jane was sharp and didn't have a lot of tolerance for a civilian being on a bust. _

_This was Jane's first takedown with the NYPD and I wouldn't miss this for anything._

_Months had passed since she had come to live with us and Kate had seemed confident that she was ready. That the familiar action would be good for her._

_ "__Jane needs that feeling, Castle. Now more than anything." She had said as we left the station._

_So despite my earlier concerns Jane was on point with Kate and as we came around the corner we met up with Kevin and Javi, both sporting vests and guns. Two uniforms stood behind them at the ready. Without a word we entered into the building and climbed the stairs to the fourth floor and settled quietly on either side of 4121. I could hear each member of our team breathing heavily in anticipation. Jane and Kevin were on the left and Kate and Javi were on the right._

_I had seen Kate do this more times than I could remember so I was behind Javi watching Jane. I hadn't said anything because I had been told that Jane didn't need any kind of distractions. Not that I would have anyway, takedowns are serious business. The kind of business that can cost lives. Even though I had some lovely material about tall Italian women with guns that would probably get me shot, by my girlfriend and her partner, I kept my mouth shut._

_The uniforms stood back and kept the hallway clear while we positioned ourselves for entry. Kate was the sergeant so she was in charge. She signaled Esposito that he was on the door kicking detail. Jane cut her off and signaled she had it. You could almost see the information passing between them before Jane nodded and leaned further into the wall. Giving Ryan the room he needed to cross. He slipped in front of me and Javi took place next to Kate._

_Kate signaled Jane with a look and Kate reached over to pound on the door. We all held our breath, adrenaline surged through our veins. What would happen this time? Ideally the person inside would open the door and we'd rush in. Worse case was our suspect would start shooting through the door and we'd all scramble back a few steps and settle in for a shootout. This time was one of the other kind._

_Jane tensed up and held her weapon at the ready, she was going in first. Her eyes held a steely determination that was alarming. She nodded._

_Kate pounded on the door and Jane yelled, "BOSTON POLICE!"_

_Kate stared at her, "Really?"_

_A flash of embarrassment passed over her face before the loud crash of a window echoed from the apartment. In a single stride, Javi stepped around Kate and slammed his muscular leg into the door, sending it hurling open, slamming against the wall. And his next step allowed Jane to pass through the door. Kate was right behind as was Javi and then Kevin. I leaned around the door frame to gauge the situation. _

_Many times Kate had said I wasn't a cop and that I needed to take that extra second to survey the scene as it were before I walked in to a bullet. __That extra second they, by their very profession, couldn't afford to take. _

_We found our suspects wife and kids huddled in the corner of the bedroom. He was gone._

_The rattle of the fire escape cause Kate and Jane to run for the window. "He's going down!" Jane shouted as she lurched through the window and started down the steps._

_ "__Go!" Kate shouted to Javi as she bolted out the same window Jane had._

_Javier Esposito was running out into the hallway. We had uniforms nearby on the ground but for the first time I can remember, Kate had them holding back a little farther than she normally would, about half a block, farther._

_I rushed out onto the fire escape in time to see the suspect hit the ground running. Jane had reached the ladder but to my absolute shock. She jumped over the rail and landed on top of a metal dumpster, on her feet. Remember what I said about a cape? She leaped from it and landed only twenty feet behind the suspect._

_Although she still denies it to this day, I could have sworn I heard Kate shout "Crazy bitch!" as she began pounding the pavement to catch up with her partner._

_I made it to the ground and started off after them._

_I have to say that since I started shadowing Beckett at the NYPD I have been getting quite a bit more fit. I know that I'm ruggedly handsome but a few extra pounds that I secretly detested had been fading for a while now. _

_In the distance I could hear Jane shouting, "NYPD! Move!" at least she got the name right this time._

_I caught up with them at the end of the next block. Jane had him on the ground, her knee pressed into his back and her handcuffs around his wrists. _

_She smacked him on the back of the head, "Why you making me run, fool. Do I look fat to you?"_

_Kate was standing a few feet away, even though the run was only for two blocks, she had hauled ass to back up her partner.__She stood with her hands on her thighs, catching her breath. I laughed even though it hurt. Esposito pulled up in his cruiser and climbed out._

_"__Yeah, bitch!" he said with a groan, "you must weigh two twenty and your standing on my back, get off me, ho!"_

_"__Oh, so now I'm a ho!" She said as she straightened up on him. "Damn, you're just a flatterer aren't you? Tell you what, I know some guys in Lockup who will show you a ho! Now get up." Kate came over and grabbed him by one arm as Jane hauled him up onto his feet._

_"__Damn, girl, you're fast!" Kate said, there was a gleam of admiration in her eyes._

_"__She's one of them bull dykes." He said, "Bitch who thinks she's a dude. Probably just needs a nice big dick like mine to straighten her ass out?" The suspect leered at her small frame._

_"__Boy," she said as she smacked him in the back of the head again, "Don't get into a dick measuring contest with me. I got a drawer full of them and their all bigger than you." She looked pointedly at his crotch before she turned him toward the car. Javi was trying not to laugh at Jane's words as she shoved him in to the back seat, "Watch your head, please." She said as she slammed the car door on him._

_"__What happened?" I said as Kate slapped a high five with Jane._

_"__My __**partner**__took him down like a linebacker, slammed him to the ground from the back and drilled her knee into him to keep him from running." She turned to Jane. "And you don't have a drawer full of dicks."_

_Jane ran a hand through her hair and smiled, "No but he doesn't know that and it sounded good."_

_Kate laughed. I couldn't help it. I laughed too._

_"__You know, Beckett warned me about you. Said you got a sailor's mouth and an Italian temper. She also said you were as tough as they come." Javi smiled warmly and held his hand out to her, "Welcome to NYPD, Rizzoli. It's going to be a pleasure working with you."_

_Jane took it and squeezed his hand hard, "Think we should get back and help Ryan and the uniforms get those kids wrangled." He nodded._

Jane chuckled in the back seat of her Crown Victoria. She remembered the day quite well. Even though she had called out the wrong department name, she had still nailed the guy to the ground. She never said it but it felt good to be doing what she knew how to do. She was a cop and it was what defined her. Kate had been right, it was exactly what she had needed.

She slipped the picture back into the book and closed it as she looked around the car at her family. Not the one she was born to, the one that had been made around her.

Kate had offered to drive them out of New York and would turn the car over when they got about half way to Boston where Jane would take over. Jane was sitting behind her with Maura on the other side and Rick was in the passenger seat with his laptop open.

Even though the trip to Boston was only a three hour drive, Alexis had promptly fallen asleep between Jane and Maura although she was definitely leaning on Jane. Despite Maura's offer to let Alexis sleep between them a few weeks ago, Alexis hadn't really opened up to Maura like Jane hoped she would.

Instead she had constantly found a way to be in between them, as if she was guarding Jane from her girlfriend. The exact opposite of her father and Kate, she was constantly putting them together. Maura had done everything she could think of to reach out to the young red haired genius who adored her girlfriend but she was rebuffed at every turn. Not rudely, just enough to tell the woman that she wasn't interested in being friends.

"I hurt you and she won't forgive that, Jane." Maura had said one night when Jane had asked about the tension between them.

Jane had tried to talk to Alexis but of all the things she had picked up from her and her partner it was pure Rizzoli stubbornness that Jane was cursing right now. Alexis meant a lot to Jane and she wanted her acceptance of Maura into her life. But she was holding out for some reason and she wouldn't say why.

Maura was hurt by that even though she didn't know her like Jane did but Alexis was important to Jane and was important to her too, even if it was through Jane. Oh how complicated families can be.

Jane listened for the soft snore that she had recently learned her niece made at night but heard nothing. She looked over at her girlfriend.

Maura was smiling as she observed Jane and her "niece". She didn't understand the familial ties exactly but from what she could gather, Alexis considered Kate Beckett and Jane Rizzoli as sisters. And though a marriage to her father that had not yet taken place, Kate was still called Kate and Jane was Alexis's Aunt. It was paradoxical at best but Maura had accepted it on her newly found faith.

Being in the car with them had allowed Maura to observe them in a close, confined space for a couple of hours and she was mentally noting all kids of data. One of which was that as Jane was reading and Alexis had fallen asleep, the young woman had slowly slid into Jane, who quite naturally shifted an arm around her, completely oblivious to her actions as she continued to read. Only after she was nestled in her Aunt's shoulder did Alexis let go. Her breathing pattern had relaxed and the tension in her shoulders slid away.

Jane smiled at her and Maura thought back to the dream she had. Jane's child carried inside her own body. Birthed and loved by both of them, a beautiful girl with curly red hair. As she watched Jane with Alexis Maura stifled a gasp as she realized what a wonderful mother Jane would be. Sensitive, loving, and fearlessly protective, Jane was a lioness.

The comparison struck her for some reason. Like the female lion of a pride, Jane could kill viscously and without mercy and she could also love unconditionally. Maura knew there was a side of Jane that she kept hidden that was capable of such unspeakable acts of violence. Jane had used it twice in Maura's presence and she would admit that it scared her, but it also comforted her because Jane wouldn't hesitate to unleash that darker side to protect her and she had never felt safer in her life then she did in Jane's arms. And if Jane ever had a child, that resolve would triple.

"What are you thinking about?" Jane said softly, lest she wake Alexis.

Maura blushed, "Just thinking about a dream I had."

Jane smiled, "Would you care to share it with the group?"

Maura glanced up and seen Kate's eyes in the rear view mirror and although she couldn't see his face, Maura had heard the clatter of the keyboard stop.

"No." she said sweetly. "I'll tell you but not right now." She said.

Jane nodded and after a quick glare at Castle, she picked up the book and opened it again. Maura knew that Jane had something on her mind and the fact that she had the book out and openly reading it was not a good sign. Maura had an idea of what she was up to and although she felt for the writer she was unfortunately bound to keep quiet as her lover plotted revenge against a man she felt had betrayed her trust by writing the very book she was now displaying.

Jane grinned evilly as she lifted her head. "Hey Kate. Do you remember that first bust I went on with you at NYPD?"

"The one where we banged on the door and you shouted Boston police?" A smirk from Kate, she had seen the book.

"Yeah," she said embarrassed a bit again, "I was just thinking. I remember Castle being exhausted after that chase? All huffing and puffing like he just ran a triathlon or something."

"I was not." He said. "Granted, I'm nowhere near as fast as you are but I distinctively remembering being winded, not exhausted."

Kate glanced back at her partner and seen the evil glint in her eyes.

_I won't help you but I won't stop it either._

Jane nodded subtly, _We'll see about that._

"I remember you almost falling asleep in the car on the way back to the 12th."

Maura watched as Jane dug into the author's ego. Oh this was going to be a train wreck, so destructive but unable to turn away from the carnage to come. Maura watched it unfold.

Jane settled back into the seat and started thumbing through the pages. She pointedly didn't look at Castle as he turned to defend his honor. He froze at what she held in her hands.

He knew it would come too this one day but he had hoped it would be in a place where he could find some cover. "Jane?" He tried.

"I'm a bit busy critiquing your work, Castle." She said without looking up, "I'll get back to you when I'm done." She lifted just her eyes to stare at him before returning them to the page.

He cringed at the look she gave him he passed a look to Kate who was ignoring him.

"Oh, the cape is a nice touch but I do what to know about 'the lovely material about tall Italian women with guns that would probably get me shot, by my girlfriend and her partner.' I wonder what would make you think that."

Kate's eyes slid to Castle, "I wonder, too."

Jane looked at Maura, her eyes pleading for some help. _I couldn't say no to her if I tried._

"Well, it might be important information on what not to say so I'd like to know as well." She said before trying to hide in the seat.

Rick kept his eyes on the laptop, "I forgot what it was but if I remember I'll be sure to mention it."

"You do that, Castle." Kate said.

She turned back to the road and glanced in the mirror to see that amused smile on Jane's face. Her partner was planning something and this was just the first nail in Richard Castle's proverbial coffin.

Maura watched Jane's eyes light up with a gleam, clearly something important just happened and Maura had missed the significance of it. Jane would later explain that it was Rick's ego that more often than not got him in to trouble with Kate and Jane had just laid out a convenient path to burst his bubble.

Kate loved Rick madly but she couldn't help deflating his head whenever it got a little too big. Of course Kate was measuring in micrometers so she did it often. But her ego bursting was a lot like Jane and Maura's banter. It was affectionate and never mean spirited.

Kate drove just passed Hartford, Connecticut before she pulled over at a rest area and they all changed places, except for Alexis who snuggled into Kate's shoulder as she had Jane's and promptly fell back to sleep. An hour and a half later they were passing Fenway Park and heading towards Beacon Hill.

Although Maura had put the house up for sale, it hadn't sold. It was a great source of irritation to the honey blond ME who had priced the house to sell quickly, but the realtor had failed to call her back to find out why. It was on Maura's list of things to do when she got back. So she had called the storage company and had what she hadn't taken with her to New York returned to her house earlier that week.

Angela, Sean, Korsak, Frankie, and Frost had moved everything around and so her home was set up to receive her new family. She had thought long and hard about giving the house to Angela and Sean as a wedding gift but for now, it had worked out.

The light was on and the driveway was plowed free of snow and Jane had no trouble pulling her Crown Vic into the driveway. She left the car running while she and Maura climbed out of the car and into the cold New England winter air. Jane shivered. She had forgotten how cold Boston could get. Maura punched in the code for the realtor's box and pulled out the key. She unlocked the door and Jane headed in first.

AS she flipped on the lights she found almost everything in its place except for the item's she knew Maura had brought with her. Since it was relatively warm inside the house Jane went and checked the thermostat. It was set at 60 degrees. Jane dialed it up to 68 and turned around to see her couch sitting where Maura's should have been. She stared for a second as Kate came in and stood next to her.

"What's up." She said as she watched her partner.

"That's my couch from my old condo. I thought everything was still there or thrown out or auctioned or something."

"Frankie has been paying the note on your condo since you left."

"Yeah. And I know he was using it all but after I got back with him, he wanted to take it over since I wasn't coming home. Said as he replaced it he'd put it in storage."

"OH," Maura said as she came in to see them staring at the couch. "Well that doesn't quite go with my decor but it's nice to see it was well taken care of."

Jane groaned, "On no." She started for Maura's bedroom. "C'mon Maur, I have a feeling."

Sure enough Jane's entire bedroom had been moved into the space and was set up almost identical to the way it had been when it was across town. Jane sat down on the neatly made bed. The cloud like mattress was not Jane's. It was from Maura's guest room. Maura sat down next to her.

"Well, I certainly wasn't expecting this."

Jane groaned as she fell back into the bed her palms covering her face. "It's starting already."

Maura looked at her, "What is starting?"

"MA!" Jane said, "She's already trying to get us married." Jane dropped her hands, "I bet you a week's worth of pay that we won't get twenty four hours without her mentioning marriage and grandchildren."

"Oh I only bet when I know I'll win." Maura smiled as she looked around the room, "It was sweet of her to do this."

Jane propped herself up on her elbows, "It's not sweet Maur. It's my Ma having grandma hormones or something. I'm telling you she's going to push for us to come back here and set up house."

Maura leaned over Jane, "It's only for a week, Jane. It's Christmas and we are family."

She kissed her softly but as Jane's arms snaked around her , Maura pulled back, "Come on. We should help unpack the car."

"Yeah since eighty percent of the trunk is your clothes." Jane said sarcastically. "Alright but Maur, please. Don't encourage my mother."

Maura clicked her heels together and raised three fingers in a crisp manner. Her body ridged, "Scouts Campers honor."

Jane laughed at the unexpected humor, "Why Doctor Isles. That was really funny, I didn't know you had it in you."

Maura stretched a hand out to help Jane up and she took it before they headed out to the car.

* * *

Alexis stared at the living room that seemed to be out of place, a lot of things matched but a lot of things didn't. The couch and the rug didn't go with anything else in the room. The TV was too small for the space it was at and there seemed to be quite a few things missing. Although the house was beautiful there seemed to be a lot of her Aunt here.

She glanced around and started lugging her roller suitcase over to the hallway that lead to the stairs.

A large bedroom that she assumed was Maura's was in the far corner of the second floor and as Alexis walked around she found a large bathroom on one side and an equally large closet on the other that had a ton of clothes inside. She looked into the next room and found a yoga studio. Apparently Maura isles took up the entire second floor because the last room was what looked like an at home office with a blue punch dummy standing in a metal stand in the corner.

Headed up the last flight of stairs and found a rather large bathroom, and two guest rooms. Kate and her dad's bags were in the first room so she rolled her suitcase into the second before she climbed onto the bed. It was way more comfortable then hers.

As she stretched her lithe body against the mattress she sighed audibly as she sank comfortably into the bed, _Maybe I'm being a little too rough on Maura._ She shook the thought away and forced herself out of the bed. She picked up her suitcase and placed it on the bed and began shuffling through it looking for something to change into. She pulled out a white tank top and a rich blue button up shirt to go over it and followed it up with a pair of Jeans.

After she changed she started sorting through her clothes and deposited them neatly in the dresser in the corner. She also moved her curling irons into the bathroom where she found Kate washing her face.

"Hey there." Kate said as she rubbed a towel over her face, "Nice place isn't it."

"Yeah," she said with a slightly hesitant tone, "It nice."

"Hey," Kate said as Alexis put the irons in a drawer. "Do you want to tell me what's bothering you?"

"Nothing." She said as she looked at Kate through the mirror.

"Alexi…" Kate was interrupted by a voice booming up the stairway.

"Alexis Harper Castle!" it was a husky voice she had only heard on the phone, "You get your fanny down here and say hello to your Nonna right now missy!"

"Okayyy?" Kate said, knowing who was down there. "Something I need to know?"

Before she could speak, Angela was shouting again, "Katherine Houghton Beckett, you get down here too!"

"Wow." Alexis said, "Her voice carries."

"She's been a mom for thirty six years and in this house for three. So I'm sure she knows exactly where to stand." She put a hand on Alexis's shoulder as she headed out.

Alexis checked her appearance and made sure she was presentable before she followed Kate down the stairs.

Kate stepped into the kitchen and was immediately pulled into a hug by the eldest Rizzoli. She felt her hands rubbing her back before she pulled back.

"Oh Katie, you look so good." She said, "I'm so glad you guys could come up to see us."

The shorter woman grabbed her into another hug and Kate thought her eyes would pop out at the squeezing sensation. _No wonder Jane hate's this so much._

Kate patted the Rizzoli matriarch on the shoulders, looking for Castle to help and found him smiling from the island.

Angela finally let her go and took in her hand, "Thank you so much for taking in my Janie. I know that with Maura gone you were the only one she would go to. I had a feeling she'd be there with you."

Kate smiled warmly, "It's alright Angela. It's been so wonderful having Jane around." She glanced around and settled on Rick, "Where are they?"

He sipped at a cup of coffee from Boston Joe's, "They went to Whole Foods for groceries. Jane said not to worry, she'll make sure there's edible food on the list."

"I wish my Janie would take example from my Maura. She should be clean eating." Angela said.

Kate laughed, "Jane's idea of clean eating is munching on a cannoli while she mops the floor."

"My Janie mops?" she asked in awe.

Kate put an arm over her, "Your Janie is a friggin' neat freak. She started to do that about a month after she came down. Her room has always been the cleanest one in the house."

Angela sat back in a chair at the island, "Katie, you are a god send." She clutched at the detectives hand.

"I wish I could take the credit but it was really Maura's doing. Jane became a cleaning addict to try and distract herself from Maura and it stuck."

"I guess all things work out on their own." She said as she seen the movement out of the corner of her eye.

She turned to see a tall lithe girl with long red curls that looked like Jane's black ones. Bright blue eyes and an outfit that had a similar style to the one Kate was wearing. Angela put a hand over her mouth as she watched the young woman walk in slowly. She was beautiful, more than even the photos she had sent to the head Rizzoli.

Alexis smiled at the woman she had only known on the phone. She was shorter than she expected and had a few more pounds on her but she could see her Aunt in the woman in front of her quite easily. Angela Rizzoli gasped and put her hand over her heart.

"You look like my Janie." She stood up and Alexis walked over to her.

"I'm Alexis." She said, holding out her hand, "It's nice to finally meet you in person."

Her hand was brushed aside and she was enveloped in a hug that had her gasping. She watched as her father chuckled and Kate rubbed her ribs sympathetically. She patted Angela on the shoulder and mouthed "can't breathe."

"Ma, you let my niece go before she passes out." Jane said as she walked in and set two bags on the counter.

Air rushed into Alexis's lungs and she gasped, "Oh my." She leaned on the counter as Angela ran to her daughter.

Jane caught her by the shoulders, "Gently, Ma." She said, "Or hugging's off the table."

She nodded and Jane released her. Angela crushed her daughter to her anyway. "Oh Janie, I missed you so much."

"I missed you to Ma." She said as she returned the hug.

She took a step back and looked at her daughter. Jane was dressed in a nice pair of grey slacks with a white button up underneath a V-neck sweater and a log wool coat. But even under all of that Angela could see her daughter's lean build, "You look so god, honey. I can't believe my own eyes."

Jane smiled as she let her mother go, "I'll be right back Ma." She said as she headed out the door, she came back in a minute later toting three more bags and right behind her was Maura.

Maura smiled as Angela came to hug her, "Hello, Angela."

She stopped and out her hands on her hips and gave her stern face. "What did I tell you on the phone, Maura."

Maura paused as she set down the bags, she thought for a second and her eyes lit up. She held her hands out, "I'm sorry. Hello… Ma."

She was yanked into a hug before she could think. Jane set her groceries down and went back out for the last ones. Maura held Angela even though she had a hard time breathing. Kate and Alexis groaned, Rick continued to chuckle.

Jane came back in and shut the door with her foot before setting the last of the bags down on the island. "Ma, I just got her back and I'd really appreciate it if you wouldn't suffocate her."

Angela let go. "Oh I'm sorry Maura, I just missed you and Janie so much."

A warm sensation filled Maura's chest at hearing those words. Even with things so different being here with all of them felt like coming home. It was a sensation Maura wasn't all that familiar with. She hugged the short Italian again and felt like she could always come home.

Jane slid her coat of and hung it up before coming to Maura and as Jane helped her out of her heavy stylish winter coat, Jane kissed her quickly on the cheek before hanging it up alongside hers.

Maura had forgone the usual dress that would have been her style when she lived here for a beautiful black slacks and a gorgeous red shirt with flowing sleeves that ended at her elbows. As if Maura had been unveiled, Jane slid her arms around Maura's waist from behind and smiled as she watched her mother. Maura rested her hands over Jane's and waited for the worst even though she didn't think it would come.

Seeing Jane arms around each other and the way that they looked into each other's eyes gave the older Rizzoli butterflies in her stomach. They were so perfect for each other. Angela couldn't understand how she hadn't seen it before or how they hadn't seen it in each other. She glanced back at Rick, Kate and Alexis who were standing in their own family pose. Rick had an arm around Kate's waist and they both held Alexis to them. They were all smiling.

"I always wanted a doctor in the family." She turned back to her girls and held her hands up for them to come to her.

Jane kissed Maura's cheek again and let her go. They moved to her together and Angela wrapped her arms around them.

"HA!" Alexis burst out loud and looked at her dad, "Told you."

Angela looked back at the girl who promptly held her hand out to her father, "C'mon, dad. Pay up. Gimme Aunt Jane's money."

Rick dug into his pocket and pulled out a twenty dollar bill and dropped it in her hand.

Angela turned back to her daughter "Jane Clementine Rizzoli, what have you been teaching that girl?"

"Apparently nothing if she can't keep her mouth shut about bets and wagers." Jane glared.

Alexis smiled sweetly, "Oops." She smirked as she stuffed the twenty in her pocket.

She ran her hands through her hair in frustration, "Oh! My God! I swear you are like a frickin' mini me clone or something."

Jane grabbed her mother by the shoulders, "Tell me the truth, Ma. Did I have a little red head child when I was seventeen that you gave up for adoption or something like that to explain her?"

A grin crossed her mother's face. "Well I didn't want to tell you but…"

Jane snorted and glared again at her niece, "Seriously, Ma. I thought the kid just like you curse only applied if you actually had a kid."

"Double or nothing, on the other hand." Alexis said.

Kate dropped her head in her hands. "Oh what the hell was I thinking letting you two hang out?" She said as she shook her head.

Jane walked to Castle, pulled out a twenty and handed it to him. Alexis matched it with the twenty she had just won. He smiled and put the forty dollars in his pocket.

Maura shook her head and laughed, "You are a bad influence Jane Rizzoli."

Her mother put her hands on her hips again, "Jane what are you two doing?"

"Relax, ma it's just a bet. When I told Alexis all the times you said you want a doctor in the family she bet me twenty bucks that said you'd say that before the group hug. I said during or after and she won, the cocky little snot."

Alexis beamed just like her Aunt did whenever she won.

"And the 'other hand' wager." Angela said with a mean gleam in her eye.

"Has to do with Tommy and I'm not at liberty to disclose the terms of the wager at this time." She said putting on her official voice.

Angela turned to Alexis, "Sorry Nonna, I can't help you either or the bets off and I need a new tablet for college."

"Oh you sneaky little…" Jane said under her breath. "Pulling out the Nonna card. That is so dirty and underhanded and" she looked to her niece, "I love it!"

She held her fist out and Alexis bumped it. Angela glowered at them both, "Maura's right, you are a bad influence on this girl."

"Hey, her father gave her the responsibilities part, I'm just adding a little balance." She said sharply, but her tone was amusing. "Tell you what. I win, I'll cut you in on half."

Angela grimaced and then looked at Alexis. She stood there that defiant stare so much like Jane's.

She looked back to her daughter, "Deal."


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N: Been a lot of heavy stuff going on so I made it light hearted for a while. Enjoy. Oh anyone up for girls night at Maura's?**

**Z: Yes, The Darker side of Jane has limits and it will rock her hard when she finds it. But it's something that we touch on but I am kind of wondering if I'm over doing it a bit. I see her in a similar light as Painkiller Jane but no she's not immortal, just a different take on the same old story of using bad to do good. But remember that almost all of her training has been a distraction, like the TV character does whenever she gets stressed or frustrated. Every time I set a goal for ending this we fly right passed it, I have an idea but naturally another one wants to come in behind it. **

**M: got it all worked out.**

**MJ: um, hi.**

* * *

Detective Barry frost stared at his computer, trying desperately to get the machine to reveal some new information on the case he and Detective Sergeant Vince Korsak had been working on for a week now. Korsak was reviewing the ME report Dr. Jordan Cavanaugh had delivered an hour ago. He looked at the murder board again and shook his head. He plucked his glasses of his face and tossed them down on the desk and rubbed at his eyes.

"What's up, old man?" Barry said, not taking his eyes off the computer screen, "You stay up too late watching wheel of fortune?"

"Beats that American Idol crap you kids watch." He barked as he leaned back in his chair, "All that new age music gives me a headache."

He turned to his sergeant, "Oh and that stuff you have growing mold in your tape deck is better?"

"Hey, show some respect." He said, "The Doobie Brothers are still a hit in Classic Rock."

Frost shook his head and leaned back in his chair matching the older Detective. "So you think she's going to come back?"

Korsak rolled his eyes, "God I hope she does, and soon." He flipped at the stack of files on his desk, "I remember this being a lot easier with her around."

Frost eyed his own stack of files with a hateful glare, "Yeah. Never seemed like we were this backed up before she left."

Korsak grunted, "I hate to say it, but she seemed to have the whole thing figured out before we did."

Frost nodded, "She had great instincts."

They sat for a second before Frost smiled, "And when you put Jane and Dr. Isles together on a case..."

Korsak grinned, "The case damn near solved its self." They laughed as the elevator dinged.

Figuring it was Cavanaugh returning from whatever meeting he had been to, both Detectives dug in to their jobs to look busy. Until they heard the clap of two sets of boots. Frost glanced up at Korsak who was also looking at him. Neither one breathed as the boots came closer.

"Hey, I'm looking for a young black guy and his illegitimate crusty Old Man." A familiar voice called out from behind the wall.

Korsak called out before he looked. "Try missing persons. One floor up."

Jane Rizzoli stepped into the bull pen and smiled. "I've never seen a sorrier looking pair of Detectives in my life."

As Kate Beckett joined her Korsak grunted, "And I've never met a cockier loudmouth in all my years on the force."

Korsak stood up and came around his desk with a huge grin behind his gray goatee. He wrapped his arms around her and she had to hunch over his ample belly to hug him back. He patted her on the back and stepped back to look her over.

Jane seemed leaner than he remembered but definitely healthy. Her clothing was of a far better quality than the Walmart duds she used to wear and he couldn't help but think that New York had been good to her.

"You look good, Jane" He said.

"And you look like you always have," she grinned, "I figured Frosty over there would have whipped you into shape by now."

He patted his belly, "Hey, round is a shape."

Frost came up and hugged her too, "We missed you around here, Jane."

"I missed you guys too." She said.

Korsak addressed the tall well-dressed detective behind her, "Is that Detective Beckett I see behind you?"

Kate held her hand out and Korsak gripped it lightly She shook Barry's hand too, "Hello Detective Korsak, Detective Frost."

"I always knew you were going to steal my partner away." He said but he smiled, "Heard you guys made a hell of a dent in murders down there."

Kate smiled, "We just do our jobs."

A chuckle came from Korsak. "Boston's finest detective in the NYPD," He turned to Jane, "Never figured you'd go there."

Guilt washed over Jane at her sudden departure to New York. She hadn't told anyone anything other than Cavanaugh that she needed a leave of absence. Seeing his top detective emotionally shattered he never asked any questions and signed her out. She was certain that her mother had told him all she knew later but that was a conversation for later. Right now she owwed these two men an apology.

She groaned, "Look guys, I'm sorry, okay."

"Sorry for what?" the older detective said.

"For bailing on you guys." She said, "I'm sorry but I was really messed up for a while."

"Jane," Frost stood and gripped her shoulders. "We get it. Frankie already explained everything and we're not mad at you for running for cover."

She shook him of and tried to look indignant as she poked him in his muscular chest. "Hey, I didn't run for cover. I took a leave of absence to work out personal issues."

"Janie" Korsak said sharply, "Relax. We understand and we got your back."

Frost grinned, "Always."

Jane smiled and hugged them both again. Korsak gripped her tightly before he let her go and looked at Beckett, "Beckett. You got a helluva partner here," he raised a beefy finger at her, "Don't let her down."

She nodded, "My life for my partner's."

Jane finished it, "with no regrets."

They nodded and Korsak grinned, "So. Where's the Doc?"

"She went down to the morgue to say hi." She said, "She'll be up in a few."

"You make an honest woman out of her yet?" Frost added.

She tipped her body in that unbelieving way she had, "Really? You're just going to put it out there like that?"

"Just wondering how things are going?" He said trying to look innocent.

Jane stared at him and Korsak, and then her eyes went wide. "You made a bet on me and Maura!" It wasn't a question and she glared at them.

"Oh come on Jane." Korsak said, "You had to know we had a bet going."

"Some partners." Jane said over her shoulder to Beckett.

Kate tried to keep the grin off her face as she said, "Alexis."

"That's different, completely!" Jane groaned," We weren't betting on my sex life and she's not my partner."

"No, she's your niece and you bet on your family." She said, "Don't get mad when your old partners do the same thing."

"Wait, Niece?" Frost said, "I thought you only had T.J."

"Alexis is my 19 year old soon-to-be step daughter." Kate said, "She thinks of Jane and I as sisters and calls her Aunt Jane."

Jane pulled out her iPhone and pulled up a picture of them curling Alexis' hair. The same one Alexis had shown Maura. She beamed as she showed it to the guys.

"Oh lord." Korsak said, "I hope she takes more after you Beckett."

"Damn," Frost said, "She looks just like Jane but… red haired and blue eyed."

"Since she's a wager enthusiast," Korsak said, "I bet we can get information out of her about our little bet."

"Oh Hell, no!" Jane shouted, "You guys just stay the hell away from her."

"Well," Frost said, "I guess we could always ask Dr. Isles."

They both looked at Jane. They wanted information and by Jane's guess, this bet had been going on for a long time.

She plopped down into her old chair and growled, "Three questions and I'm only going to answer those questions that I'd tell anyway and I'm only doing this so you guys stay away from Maura and Alexis with this crap."

Frost reached back to his desk and pulled a slip of paper out of his drawer. He handed it to Korsak who put his glasses on and pointed to something. Barry nodded and pointed, Korsak smiled and pointed at something else. Barry slapped the old man on the back.

"Jesus, they have a list." Jane said.

Beckett snatched it out of their hands and read through it quickly before handing it back.

"Do I want to know?" She asked.

"Nope." She said but she smiled, "It's pretty clean though."

She stared at the two men. "Well go on then."

Frost looked at her, "Who made the first move?"

"I did." She growled. "I kissed her first."

"Told you." Korsak laughed, "How many drinks were involved?"

"None." Jane said, "I stopped drinking a year ago."

"Damn," Korsak grimaced, "I guess that makes sense though."

"That's not fair." Frost said, "Neither one of us factored in the Frankie thing."

"Too bad, "Jane said. "Last question."

Frost leaned in and mumbled to Korsak. The old man nodded then shook his head and whispered back. Frost pulled out a wad of bills and held it up. Korsak looked at it and nodded.

"Okay," He said, "but I don't think she'll answer?"

"Guys," Jane said, "I don't have all day."

Frost nodded, "Korsak and I agreed to put the rest all on this, plus cut you in for a hundred if you answer no matter who wins."

"I still don't think she'll answer." he scoffed.

"Spit it out, Frost." She said.

"How long did it take you to realize you wanted to be with Maura to the time you were actually with Maura?"

"Try to be specific cause it's an even/odds question for us." Korsak added.

Jane stared at them both. "I'm going to let you clarify that. Do you mean when I figured it out or when I realized how long I really knew?"

They looked at each other and nodded. "The very beginning." They said in unison.

"Fine, even though couldn't admit it at the time, I started having feelings for her after I got these," She held up her hands." And I've been involved with Maura since just after Halloween, two days before Frankie and I met up in New York."

Korsak grabbed a calendar and Barry tapped at his computer, they both looked at the numbers and compared them, there was a brief argument and then Barry looked up.

"She's got to settle it." He said, "It's the only way to be fair."

"If I said weeks or months," Korsak said, "You'd choose?"

Jane laughed, "Days just to irritate you. Maura came to see me three days after I got out of the hospital and it all started six days after that. Enjoy figuring that out."

"Jane." Kate said tapping at her father's watch, "It's almost time."

She nodded and turned to leave as the elevator rang. Jane was expecting to see Maura step out but instead she caught sight of Detective Lieutenant Rafael Martinez step out. He caught sight of her and smiled warmly, seductively.

Jane could have sworn his tall, muscular build was swelling up at the sight of her. She cringed inwardly as Kate stopped next to her.

"Oh wow." She whispered, "That is one fine looking man."

"He's an asshole." Jane whispered back. She forced a smile on her face as Martinez stepped closer to her.

"Jane Rizzoli," he said, his Hispanic accent thickly laid out, "I heard that you left us."

She nodded, "I did."

He stood entirely too close as his eyes ran down her body and focused on her badge, at least she hoped that was where he was looking.

"New York Police Department." He said as his eyes rose slowly back to hers. "What a shame. I was hoping to run in to you when I came back."

"And now you have." She said, again she had to force herself to be civil.

He looked over Kate but not as thoroughly as he had her, "This must be your partner then."

Kate's nerves started to wave red flags, her partner was uncomfortable with the attention. If Kate had ever had a doubt about Jane's orientation, that effectively ended it. She stepped in to cover her partner, "Sergeant Kate Beckett." She said.

"Rafael Martinez." He said as he held out his hand.

Kate took it and his touch was gentle. Kate tightened hers mannishly.

"You have a strong grip." He said, "Of course running with Jane here does that to people. They tent to hold on tight to keep from being left behind."

Jane's eyes narrowed a fraction of an inch. "Well we were on our way out, nice seeing you."

Jane heard the elevator ding and the telltale clip clops of familiar shoes on the tile.

"So Rizzoli." He continued, "Tell me. Are you seeing anyone in New York?" His voice oozed male sexuality and it was having the opposite effect on her.

"As a matter of fact, I am." She said, "And it's quite serious."

"Well it must not be that serious" He said. "You're all alone here in Boston."

Before Jane's awakening, she might have been tempted to pursue his flirting but now Jane was really starting to get irritated. Kate was about to step in but Maura, who was now striding from the elevator in irritation, stopped her.

"Jane," she said as she stepped right next to her lover, "Are you going to introduce your friend here?"

Jane swallowed as she thought Maura might be angry at her but her hazel eyes never left the tall Latino.

"Maura this is Lieutenant Rafael Martinez. He used to be my CO in Vice." She said, "This is Dr. Maura Isles. Shes…" A hard squeeze from Maura on her arm stopped her from identifying there status. "She was the Chief Medical Examiner when I worked Homicide here." A gentle pat out of sight reassured Jane that she had guessed Maura's want's right.

"Ah Dr. Isles." He said, "I remember you. You came in about a year before Jane here transferred to homicide."

"That's correct." She said, "Jane and I have become very close over the years. Even when I found out that Paddy Doyle is my biological father, Jane never left my side."

"She does have a certain loyalty that can be quite appealing as a friend." He said and his eyes told Maura an intent she did not like.

"True, and I am every bit as loyal to her but there is one thing about her that I don't believe you have been privy to." Maura said.

"Oh," He smiled, "I wonder what that could be." He looked over Jane as he tried to figure out what she might be hiding. He loved that kind of intrigue.

"Then let me clarify it." She said.

Kate watched as Maura slipped into Jane's arms and kissed her. Her partner instinctively wrapped her arms around her girlfriend. Jane kissed her back, grateful for her sudden and very public display. Martinez stepped back in surprise as Maura broke off the kiss and slid around Jane's embrace so she was leaning into her lover but facing the lieutenant.

Maura's look turned cold, "She's mine. All mine and you can't have her. Ever!"

Jane's arms tightened around her lover, Maura took that as an approval and cupped her hands over Jane's. She smiled at the speechless lieutenant as Jane settled her chin down on Maura's shoulder.

"Surprise." She said, "Guess the rumors were true. I'm a lesbian."

He sputtered as Kate started laughing. Korsak and Frost stood behind her. Equally amuse.

"Sorry about your luck, Lieutenant." Korsak said.

"Wow." Frost said smugly, "That's embarrassing."

Kate patted him on the shoulder, "Hitting on a lesbian cop in front of her doctor girlfriend, nice job. Doesn't BPD have sensitivity training or something?"

Maura lead Jane to the elevator and Kate followed still laughing. Martinez stared until the doors closed. Only then did he get angry.

* * *

Jane drove in to the BPD Parking garage and stopped in front of the guard shack. The guard was new and didn't recognize her so she and Kate flashed their badges and he opened the gate allowing them into the police only level. She drove down to the lower deck and parked next to the Maintenance building which was in the basement of an adjoining building across from the police station.

She, Kate and, Maura headed inside where they met up with Jane's car guy, Carl Andersen.

The head of BPD fleet was sitting at his desk, scarfing down a hefty breakfast sandwich when they walked in. His BPD cap was slightly askew and his beefy hands were grimy from auto work.

"Carl, one of these days you're going to have a heart attack and were going to find your legs sticking out of the hood of a cop car."

The short pudgy man swallowed his food before he grinned, "Don't bust my balls, Rizzoli, I haven't seen 'em in years so I can't even admire your handy work."

"Then I guess I should tell you that your wife's had them in her purse for about a decade."

"Yeah well that figures." He said as he took another bite of his sandwich. "I'll take you out to see them in a minute." He said with his mouth full.

She nodded and they backed out of his office.

"Nice guy you got there, Rizzoli." Kate said.

"Trust me, He's as smart about cars as Maura is about everything else." Jane said confidently.

"Jane is correct," Maura said with equal confidence, "I have found that Carl's appearance is largely to keep people from bothering him while he's at work but he is a professional who knows about the vehicles under his care."

Carl came out of his office, no longer wearing his coveralls he was in jeans and a red sox sweater. He pulled a heavy parka and a sock hat on and greeted them warmly.

"Hey, Rizzoli." He said jovially, "Dr. Isles, good to see you both."

He glanced down at the badge hanging off of the lapel of her coat. "NYPD. Damn Rizzoli, you sold out and went to the enemy, I should kick you out."

He held a hand out and Jane shook it, He did the same for Maura and then to Kate, "I don't know you."

"This is my partner, Detective Beckett." Jane said.

"Oh, the one you were with at those competition things." He said. "Then I guess I can be pleased to meet you."

Carl led them back into the parking deck and pointed out a hand full of unmarked police cars.

He stopped at one and popped the hood. "Oldie but a goodie. It's an oh six, recently did a head gasket. Came from burglary. But it's pushing 80K and starting to show it's age."

"Carl." She pointed at her car, "I'm driving an oh-six with 110K and it's _not_ showing its age."

He glanced at the car with the NYPD sticker on the bumper. "Isn't that the one I sold you three years ago?"

"Yeah and it's been maintained on time like clockwork, you're going to have to do better than this heap." She said as she indicated the car.  
"Okay, I know what you want." He slammed the hood and headed down the walkway.

"So how's David doing?" She asked him, "He still staying out of trouble?"

"Yeah," he nodded, "Just got married to a nice girl outta BCU, 4.0 with a good degree in pharmaceuticals, He got his degree last year in Engineering and they bought a house in Chelsea."

"Oh that's wonderful," Maura said, "Congratulations Carl."

"Yeah well I'm just glad he didn't turn in to a gear head like me." He said, "Still can't thank you enough Rizzoli, You hadn't done what you did, he would have ended up here in the garage."

"We're good Carl," she said as he came up to a newer cruiser, "Tell me about this one."

"Oh you don't want this one." He said. "Sure it's a twenty ten but it got hit in a pursuit ten months ago and hasn't been right since. Thinking about stripping it and sending the corpse to the scrapper. It's been in the shop more than on the road ever since we put it back together."

He pointed to another car, "This is a good one, oh eight. 75K rebuilt the lower end on it and it's getting purged so patrol can get a couple of those Eco boost Tauruses. Had a trans issue but we swapped it out with the problem child over there and it's been going like a dream ever since. Rumor has it that Martinez wants it for vice."

Jane stopped, "Yeah, we seen that he's back?"

"Yeah, head of detectives, can you believe that?" he said, "Guy can barely speak English and he runs the damn investigators."

Kate laughed quietly to herself, "Hell of a gossip line you have here Rizzoli."

"It's not gossip," Jane said, "Carl here only talks about things he knows for fact."

Maura laughed too. "But unlike me, he can lie with the best of them."

"Makes him a killer at a poker table." Jane said with a chuckle.

Kate nodded, "I like his look."

He turned on her and put a huge grin on his face, "I like your badge and your police department."

"Oh he is good, I almost believed him." She said with a chuckle.

He laughed again, "You got a good partner Rizzoli. Don't let 'em split you up."

Carl stopped at a shiny black Impala. "This one's an oh nine with 40k. V-6 front wheel drive, got that stabilitrack thing on it."

"Shit, isn't this OPC's car?" she asked in disbelief.

"Sure is," he said, "Straight from the Office of the Police Commissioner."

He pointed at a brand new burgundy Impala across the lot, "Bought that piece of junk and set this one out to pasture but if you want it you better move quick."

"Let me guess, Martinez." She grumbled.

"Yep, He wants to make this a buy car." He said, "All leather interior, all the gizmos and goodies. If you've got the cash I'll strip the gear and have it ready before you head back south."

Jane looked over the car. Its black paint gleamed in the dull lighting of the parking deck. She got in and looked at the inside and the more she saw the more she wanted it. She climbed back out.

"I love it Carl, how much?"

"I'm not supposed to let it go for under eighteen but for you, I'll go fifteen and acquisitions can kiss my fat hairy ass."

"Shit." She said, "I don't have fifteen thousand. How much with a trade in."

"What your old car?" He looked at it. "You know the deal Rizzoli, not supposed to take trade-ins."

He thought about it for a minute. "Tell you what. You gimme thirteen and the title to the oldie over there and we have a deal."

Jane thought about it, "God I want it but I don't have thirteen, all I have is eight."

"Can't do it Rizzoli, not even for you and you know you're my favorite cop." He said, "I'm sorry."

Jane heard a paper ripping from behind her. She turned around and saw Maura putting her check book away and she handed the check she had just written to Carl.

"Maura, what are you doing?" she asked.

"I just bought it for you." she said.

"Maur, you can't do that, baby." She whined, "I like to do things on my own."

"Jane, it's not a big deal." She said as she put her gloved hand over Jane's, "The car is obviously worth more than what Carl is asking and I agree that it is quite a deal. Since you were not expecting to find something of this quality, it is completely logical that you did not bring the asking price with you. Besides, I want to buy it for you because I love you and I know you'll be happy with the vehicle."

"Plus it'll piss off Martinez." Jane said

"There's that too." Maura said cutely.

Carl raised his eyes up from the check at Maura's words. He looked to Kate who was occupied with looking over the vehicle.

"Carl, is this car still lit?"

"Haven't gotten around to taking it all off yet." He said as he meandered over. "Have a hard time finding 'em, eh"

She nodded, "Light it up for me."

He reached in and flipped the switch. Red and blue lights flashed all over it and Kate nodded. He turned it off and shut the door, he froze as he saw Rizzoli kissing the Doc.

"I heard for years but I didn't believe it until I seen it myself." He said to Kate.

Jane looked over at him "It's recent. About a month."

He nodded and raised the check up, "I'll keep it to myself if you want. Doc just paid for the car outright, eighteen K."

"C'mon, Maura!" Jane groaned, "I just got him down to thirteen."

Maura smiled at her, "I know and it's worth it and it keeps Carl and acquisitions happy."

"Tell you what, Rizzoli, I'll make sure every scent goes into personal equipment."

Kate looked the car over again and nodded to Jane.

Jane kissed Maura and turned her attention back to the car. "Okay, leave it set up the way it is."

He hedged, "I can't let a car out of here equipped like that." He ran a beefy hand over his stocking hat. "Are you trying to get me fired just cause I don't like the NYPD?"

"Awe, don't say that Carl." She said, "Ill tell you what now, a lit car for a lit car. She held out her keys."

He looked at her, "That thing is still lit?" He shook his head, "Wait a minute, I know I stripped it before I gave it to you."

"I had it relit, NYPD regs are different." She said. "Kojak whirlybirds don't get you far on Madison Ave."

Carl looked at the car then back to Jane, "Your gonna use it officially?"

"I'll own it but yeah," she waved a hand at Beckett, "Ask my sergeant."

Kate simply nodded. "Just swap out the two way radio and the plates and were done."

Carl looked up at the ceiling, "Please don't let this bite me in the ass."

He went into the car and loosened up the radio screws and unplugged it. He held it up, "This your style of radio?"

Kate looked at it, "Yeah, same brand and model."

He ambled off to Rizzoli's Crown Vic and came back with the same radio except the Property of the NYPD sticker on the top. He reached into the car and set the radio in place and hung up the mike.

Kate pulled out her phone and called central. She listed out her name and badge number and requested a vehicle update for Jane's car. Carl headed off with Jane to the office to sign the paperwork.

Kate watched as a tech pulled off Rizzoli's front and rear plates and put them on the Impala. She then pulled the NYPD Identification plate from the dash and slid it into Jane's new car. Jane was still going to have to register the car with the DMV but for now the car was legal enough as a cruiser until they got back to New York.

Jane concluded her business with Carl and promised to call if she had any problems. Before she and Kate headed off to the precinct.

**A/N: The car legality thing? Total hooey. But that's the advantage of a fictional story.**


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N: Male bonding followed by female bonding and definitely some fluff for the gals. Enjoy. Working over the next two chapters carefully because I want them right so enjoy this for a while. Also, some things have been thrown in around the story for tie in so reread. **

**Jane's NYPD badge number. Anyone get it yet?**

**Browncoats for everyone.**

**Z-MJ-M Love you folks.**

**MJ, just FYI, I do have that answer and once it drops you'll pick up on to it in an instant so I'm trying to make it unexpected.**

"See that's the thing, Castle." Korsak said from his stool at the Dirty Robber, "Shopping for Jane is tricky business."

"Honestly, your best bet is to go practical," Frost added. "Something she'll use every day."

With Christmas looming later in the week, Rick had confided in Jane's old partners that he was at a loss as to what to get Jane this year. Especially since her birthday hadn't gone over all that well. So with Frost on his left and Korsak on his right, they had set down at the bar to explain what Rick was getting into. He was beginning to regret it.

He leaned into the wooden back in his stool and took a pull from his beer, "Yeah, but Jane has lived in my house for almost a year now. And being my fiancés best friend, I thought since she's living with Maura, I should get her something both of them would like."

Frost leaned in to Rick, "Yeah but how well do you really know her?"

"What are you getting Kate for Christmas?" Korsak asked.

"I hadn't figured that out yet either." He said, "But Kate's a different deal all together. She likes jewelry and clothes and all the things most women like but unlike most women she has no real value or attachment or to that kind of thing. Jane gets insulted if you get her those kinds of things, plus my relationship isn't as close with her as Kate's is."

"Yeah but how well do you really know her?" Frost asked again, "I know a lot but even I don't bother trying to go past practical."

"See the thing with Jane is, there's two categories," Korsak said, "Practical and sentimental. You're not Dr. Isles so I'll skip over the romantic crap I've seen her throw away."

Rick laughed, "Who tried the romantic thing? This I have to hear."

Frost laughed into his mug, "One thing at a time, Castle."

"So depending on how well you know her you might be able to get away with sentimental," Korsak raised his bottle to the bartender, signaling for another, "but that doesn't work out so well if you don't know her all that well."

"Korsak's right, she may have lived with you for a while but did she ever let you in?" Frost said.

"I've seen Jane at her very best and her absolute worst." He said confidently, "I know things about her that she wouldn't want mentioned. And in the interest of self-preservation, won't be."

"Yeah," Korsak said, "I know things too but that's different than her letting you in."

"She let Gabriel Dean in and he broke her trust." Frost said, "At least that's what I've heard about it."

"Damn near got Dr. Isles' father killed in the process." Korsak agreed. "That was some bad business that one."

"Heard that she wouldn't let Colonel Jones in for the same reason," the younger detective added, "Just a rumor but I heard she couldn't let herself trust him after Dean."

"Really?" rick said, "Anything to corroborate that?"

"Nope." The sergeant said, "Other hot rumor on that one was that she was in love with the Doc and realized it after she went out with Jones. Another one said that she dated jones to make the Doc jealous."

"That's the problem with our rumors, their all full of it somewhere." Grunted Frost.

"Well, rumor two has a higher base in reality." Rick said.

"True," Korsak laughed as he slapped Rick in the back, "But with so many flying around, we didn't believe any of it until we heard it out of Jane's own mouth."

Frost pulled a few bucks out of his wallet and tossed it on the bar. "Well, I have to get home and get some wrapping done. But if you need help, Castle, I'll help you out tomorrow."

"Thanks Frost," Rick held out his hand, "I'd appreciate it."

"See you tomorrow, Old School." He said to Korsak.

Korsak raised his beer, "Tomorrow, New School."

Frost grabbed his coat and headed out.

"Okay what's with the old school, new school, thing?"

"Oh, he knows all about those computers and all that technology crap. Don't tell him I said this but he's a damn good computer detective." He said with a chuckle, "But I'm an old school, 'look with your eyes and find it with your gut', carry a magnifying glass, detective."

"Ah, I get it." Rick laughed. "Jane used to tell us all kinds of stories about you two going back and forth."

"Yeah well, he tries to teach me all this new stuff and I try to teach him about old fashioned police work so we balance out in the end. Jane. She used to be the one."

He sipped at his beer, a remembering look in his eyes, "Best damned detective I ever known." He looked at Rick and pointed a finger at himself, "And that includes me."

"Weren't you her training officer?" Rick asked.

"Yeah in a sense." He took a long pull on his beer before turning back to the writer, "She was a hell of a cop. Smart as hell, great instincts, just a natural detective. She came over from Vice and was Boston's first female Homicide detective.

"I hated her when I first met her. A woman has no place investigating homicides, so I showed her a few things and she picked it up faster than I wanted to show her. I used to say that a woman has no place in a Homicide Squad." He laughed, "Truth was, I was threatened by her. She made Detective faster than anybody. Did a few years in vice and moved up to Homicide in her early thirties. Then we came across a bad case and she got a hunch and a lead that cracked it wide open. I ignored her and she went off alone, by the time I figured out what had happened. She got hurt."

Vince wiped a stray tear from his eye as his voice cracked, "Damn it she got hurt bad. I got to her in time to save her life but the damage was already done."

He emptied his beer in one swig and clanked the bottle down, He took a deep breath and his voice came out normally again, "When she got out of the hospital she requested a new partner. After she got off leave, Frost was assigned to her and I got moved to Division 3. Took a lot of years for us to patch it up but then it was the three of us. Me, Frost and Jane were the best team in Boston."

"Jane never held it against you." Rick said.

"She did for a while, she never said it but I know." Korsak met his eyes, "You seen her like I did, didn't you?"

Rick sipped, "Yeah." he said, "I did."

Korsak nodded and stared into the empty bottle.

"She couldn't even speak, almost died of hypothermia. It was a week before she could even talk. I have never seen anyone like that and she hates that I've seen it."

"I know the feeling." Korsak said, "Doesn't mean I wouldn't do anything for her."

"Yeah," Rick said ordering two more beers, "I know the feeling."

"Give it time, Castle." He said as he patted Rick on the shoulder, "Be her friend and give it time, she'll forgive you soon. Especially since she's your gal's best friend."

Rick nodded.

"Hey where are they anyway?" Korsak said.

"Girls night at Maura's house." Rick said, "Frankie should be here in a half hour for the game."

"Ah, no men allowed over there tonight?"

"Yep," Rick nodded.

Korsak chuckled at the thought of what would be going on at Maura's house tonight. Rick smiled knowing what the old man was thinking.

"Drinking wine, talking trash men and, passing around make up tips." Korsak chuckled.

* * *

The wine was passed freely around the island in Maura's kitchen as the girls started passing around embarrassing stories of childhood, love, and bad dates. Kate had complimented Maura on her choice of Merlots, not that either Jane or Angela were surprised by this. Maura always kept an excellent selection of wine nearby.

Angela had asked Jane why she and Maura hadn't figured out their feelings before and Jane had been reluctant to share her experiences with her mother. But when Angela insisted, Jane smiled evilly.

"Janie," Angela said as she grabbed her daughters shoulder, "Maybe this isn't the best story to tell."

"Oh no, Ma! You started this so you can't back out now." Jane glared as she sipped the fruit juice Maura had picked out for her at Whole Foods, "You wanted to know why I never told her so it's only fair to tell you about the time you were most involved in which just happens to be the closest I ever came to telling her."

"Janie," Her mom cried out, "It's embarrassing."

"And it wasn't any better for me, trust me on that." Jane turned back to Kate and Alexis.

"Okay, so as I was saying, Frankie asks Maura if she can turn bike into a Café Racer for his Vice cover and she starts getting all technical about how it works, Something about vacuum sucking air…"

"Oh Jane," Maura said, "That's not exactly what I said."

Jane laughed, "okay then what did you say, exactly?"

Maura smiled to her girlfriend as she recited the words from a year ago as if from a tape recording, "Intake Vacuum pressure pulls the fuel through and mixes liquid with air before it sucks it into the compression chamber."

Jane laughs, "Right, just like that. So Frankie is getting uncomfortable and I can see him start shifting around and I'm never one to miss an opportunity to screw with Frankie so I look at Maura and I say," her voice gets a breathy sound to it, "keep going. Maura looks over at Frankie and sees him kinda dancing around with that look to so she all too happily plays along. She looks at me and says." Jane holds up a hand to Maura.

In a suggestive voice Maura repeats it verbatim, "A violent explosion _rams_ the big piston down with great force… Long connecting rod… forces the crank pin… into rotation, which is what… You... Want."

Kate starts laughing at the innuendos and can easily imagine Frankie getting uncomfortable at that. Alexis too was giggling but it was Angela who was trying to hold back and failing miserably that had Jane and Maura cracking up.

"That's the problem with my partner. You even crack open the sexual innuendo door and she'll blast through it like the Kool-Aid man."

Maura started waving her hands as Jane regained a modicum of control, "No see that's the thing. It was a complete and total back fire."

Maura stopped laughing and stared at her lover, "What?"

"It's true. I told you to keep going so it would make Frankie uncomfortable." Jane turned back to Kate, "Complete back fire. In fifteen seconds, it went from some fun at Frankie's expense to me being putty in her hands. I'm talking totally turned on and with the right amount of beers to tell her everything."

Kate started laughing again.

"Oh it's not funny because, I look straight at her and I can't really say it so I tell her, 'I'd love to get my crank pin rotated about now.' And Miss I-know-a-lot-about-everything looks at me takes in everything I'm feeling and runs completely in the wrong direction with it and says 'I knew you'd miss Casey.'"

"Oh Maura, NO!" Alexis shouts, "You didn't."

"I didn't know it was _me_ she was thinking about." She looked to Jane, "Why didn't you tell me?!"

"I tried," Jane laughed, "I really did!"

Angela points a finger at Maura, and with a laugh, "Maura! You jumped to a conclusion."

Maura put her face in her hands, embarrassed, "I did!"

Jane puts an arm around her and continues, "So I groaned into my beer and am about to tell her that I wasn't thinking of Casey when Frankie finally chirps in saying he's really uncomfortable. So I'm just shut down again completely and now were laughing about Frankie when look who walks in," Jane holds both of her hands up to display Angela. "My Ma with my _Lieutenant._"

Angela buried her face in her hands, "I didn't know you'd be there."

Jane looks at her mother, "Really, Maura only lives there." She turns back to the New Yorkers, "So like I said I was all fired up and just as quickly shut down and Ma walks in so now I can't help it, sarcasm Jane Rizzoli looks straight at her boss and says 'Hi Lieutenant.'" More laughter, "So Ma says they're just going to make dinner and Cavanaugh says, "I hope you two don't mind."

"Before I can say anything Frankie tells him no he doesn't mind so I'm stuck agreeing with him. Once they go in I stare at Frankie and say what the hell? Maura's trying to shush me cause they can hear us, right? So I'm like, I don't care they shouldn't be doing what they're doing? Maura's trying to shush me again so now I'm having fun with this and just want to mess up their night so I look at Frankie start shaking my hips and say" her voice gets deep and throaty impersonating Cavanaugh, "Hey Rizzoli, you mind if I throw your mother around for a while?"

"Oh Janie we heard you," Angela said over Kate's hysterical laughter.

"Good that was the point when I said 'I mind, yeah I'm out here minding?'"

Alexis' face starts to hurt from laughing so hard when she looks at her Aunt, "So then what happened."

"Oh good lord," Angela says. "Janie please don't."

Jane opens her mouth but before she can finish, her phone starts ringing. The ringtone blares out, "You call me a bitch like it's a bad thing."

"Hold on, I gotta take this." Jane grabs her phone and walks away, "Hey Liv, what's up."

Angela looks at Maura, "Who's Liv?"

"Olivia is a friend of Jane's from New York." Maur said with a smile, "Kate knows her as well."

"Liv's been a friend of ours since LETO." Kate clarified, "She's looking out for Maura's turtle."

"Tortoise." Maura corrected and Kate smiled. Like Jane she enjoyed Maura's corrections.

Angela nodded and looked at her daughter standing in the living room.

"No, the one in the fridge that say's Lotus Leaf." Jane said as Angela listened in, "It's next to the strawberries… two leafs and half a strawberry… okay. And there should be something on the table by the couch for you… Maura and I got that for you, Merry Christmas… Liv. No one should spend Christmas alone… girl, quit making up excuses and get your butt to Boston, we've got plenty of room." Jane walks further into the living room. "Just book an Amtrak and I'll come pick you up, hell I'll pay for the ticket…"

Jane came into the kitchen and refilled her glass of pomegranate juice phone wedged between her ear and her shoulder. "Oh, don't give me that in charge crap. It's Christmas… Well if you change your mind… Okay hon, you take care…bye."

"You have a friend who's alone on Christmas?" Angela asked, incredulously.

"Not if I can help it." Jane said, "Give me another day or two and I'll have her up here."

"Must be something good in your juice if you think you're going to get her to Boston by Christmas." Kate said.

"Just wholesome goodness." She said with a grin and leaned over to kiss Maura sweetly, "Picked out by the best girlfriend a woman could ever have."

"Janie, what happened to you in New York?" Angela asked, "I haven't seen you drink anything but fruit juice since you got home."

Jane's smile faded a bit as she regarded her mother, "I quit drinking after the Frankie thing."

Maura wrapped her arms around her lover, "It wasn't me, Jane did it on her own."

"I dried out in a motel on orange juice until the day I met Maura at the airport. After that, I really haven't had more than a beer on occasion and I almost never finish it."

Alexis slid into the conversation, "She started drinking OJ by the gallon, and we couldn't keep it in our home."

"Recent studies have shown that overconsumption of orange juice can lead to a number of health issues such as indigestion, heartburn, ulcers, stomach aches, nausea, vomiting, abdominal cramps, dizziness, skin rashes, and studies suggest that overconsumption can increased stress level."

Jane smiled at her girlfriend and the talking google that had become part of her own life.

"I started having a couple of these problems so Maura started introducing me to all these different fruit juices. She handed her glass to her mother, "This is pomegranate."

Angela took a sip of the juice and clenched her face, "Ew, it's like grape fruit juice."

Jane laughed and took a healthy pull from the glass, "Not really and trust me, I've had grapefruit juice. This is way better than that."

Maura smiled at Jane before turning to Angela, "Pomegranate has also been shown to have many benefits to the human body, isn't that right Jane?"

Jane took a deep breath and closed her eyes, "Pomegranates have strong antioxidant and health benefits. It not only lowers cholesterol, but also lowers blood pressure and increases the speed at which heart blockages melt away. The have some antioxidant compounds that reduce blood clots and naturally lower blood pressure, things that prevent both heart attacks and strokes."

Maura smiled and said, "Keep going."

Jane got that evil smile, "Not only are pomegranates good for your heart and blood but they help prevent breast cancer, prostate cancer, colon cancer, leukemia, Alzheimer's disease, and diabetes."

She opened her eyes to see her mother staring at her as if Jane had just grown a second head. Alexis and Kate laughed at the astounded expression on Angela's face.

Alexis raised her phone and snapped a picture. The flash snapped her out of her daze, "Jane!"

Jane looked to Maura, "Did I get it right?"

Maura hugged her from the side, "Yes, my love, minus the technical terms, you were correct."

"Wow!" Angela shouted, "Maura, what have you done to my Janie."

"I wish I could take the credit but a lot of it was Alexis." Maura said with a smile to the youngest Castle. "I was just as surprised as you are now."

Alexis cringed at the praise from Maura. She didn't want to like her but Maura's praise made her feel proud. But she refused to show it to the honey blond. Alexis took a sip from her own glass of Pomegranate Juice before she sent the picture of Angela's surprise to Jane's phone.

"Oh honey," Angela got up and hugged her quickly, "You are something special. How in the world did I get so lucky to have such a blessed family?"

Jane's iPhone chirped and Alexis' ringtone blared out of the speaker.

"This girl is on fire?" Maura asked.

Jane checked her phone and laughed at the picture, "Hang out with the little genius and you'll understand." She showed her mom the picture.

"What's my ringtone?" Maura asked.

Jane looked uncomfortable as Kate shone with a knowing smile.

"Oh, it's very appropriate for you two." She said. "Go ahead Jane."

Jane poked at her phone for a second, "Okay, here you go, baby."

Her iPhone started playing a piano and a female duet began to sing.

_"__You are the only one,  
The only one that sees me, trusts me and believes me  
You are the only one,  
The only one that knows me, and in the dark you show me  
Yeah it's perfectly reckless, damn, you leave me defenseless  
So break in, break in."_

"Oh Janie, It's beautiful." Angela said softly.

Maura stared at her lover, "It is beautiful. I've never heard this before." A tear slid from the corner of her eye, "Do you have the whole song?"

Jane nodded, "The band is Halestorm and the song is called Break In, I bought the album on iTunes when it came out and when I heard this I couldn't help but think of you."

"Awful mushy, Aunt Jane." Alexis chided.

"Hey kiddo," in a disapproving tone, "When it happens to you, you'll get it."

"God I can't wait till you two give me grandkids." Angela said.

Jane started laughing, "Ma, I hate to tell you this but Maura and I don't have the right equipment to make babies together."

"Yes we do," Maura said.

Angela frowned, "I want a Rizzoli and Isles grandbaby. How can you do that?"

"We can't Ma." Jane said. "Two women can't have a child with each other. Matching parts remember."

"Actually Jane," Maura said, "That's not true."

Jane threw her hands up. "I give up."

"Seems like artificial insemination would play a part," Kate said. "But you could actually have a child with both yours and Jane's DNA?"

"Yes." Maura said simply.

"How?" Angela asked.

"OH good lord help me," Jane said to the ceiling.

"Well, one woman is artificially inseminated and then the fertilized ovum is transferred into the other female who would carry the fetus to term." She looked at Jane, "If you ever change your mind about having a child, we could have one that has both mine and your genetic makeup."

"Baby, I asked you not to encourage her." Jane groaned and thunked her head on the table. Suddenly she lifted her head and stared at her girlfriend, "And exactly when did I say I don't want children?"

"Well you haven't exactly said, 'I don't want children' but you had expressed concerns in my office."

"I don't remember that?" Jane scowled.

"When confronted with the prospects of a relationship with Casey, you were concerned that it was 'The gateway to mom jeans, baby slime, arguments over the remote control, clipping coupons, and buying in bulk.'"

"Maura!" Jane shouted, "That was Casey! Not YOU!"

"Well, I took several meanings out of that conversation including the idea that you did not want a child or even a serious committed relationship."

The hurt look on her face made Jane reach for her. "Maura. That was Casey. I didn't want all of those things with him."

She wrapped Maura in her arms and held her tight, "Oh baby, I love you so much. And all those things I was afraid of with him, I _want_ to have with you one day." She looked into Maura's hazel eyes and tried to push her love into that moment. "We can really have a baby Jane and Maura?"

Maura sighed as Jane wiped the tears from her cheeks, "Yes, Jane. We can really have a child that's part you and part me."

Angela reached for Kate and took her hands, tears of joy started on their own. Kate smiled then, her best friend and partner now had the chance to have a family with the one she loves. No one noticed as Alexis quietly left the room.

Angela grinned, "So I'm going to start putting some ideas together for a wedding."

Jane and Maura stared at her, "MA!" Jane shouted in surprise.

"Ang… Ma." Maura stammered, "Jane is correct that we both agreed to take things slowly and studies have shown that couples who wait even a few years before marriage have a higher success rate."

Angela put her hands on her hips, "Maura, you and Janie have been together for years, maybe not as a couple but there's definitely been a serous committed relationship going on whether you two were aware of it or not."

Jane grunted, "If that were the case Ma. Then Maura and I have some explaining to do for being unfaithful to each other with men."

"Yes," Maura said with equal mirth, "I would be particularly in trouble for being involved with a serial killer."  
"Actually, I think I'd get it worse because I shot your biological Dad." Jane said, "Because a guy I slept with shot at him."

"Jane," Maura said exasperated, "We've been through this. Yes you shot Paddy, but you didn't shoot to kill or he'd be dead. But I still want to shoot Agent Dean for his involvement and his betrayal in your trust."

"Maura Dorthea Rizzoli, I never want to hear something like that come out of your mouth again." Angela shook an angry finger at her. "You are too precious to Janie and the rest of the family. If there's shooting to be done, you leave it to Janie. You hear me young lady?!"

"See what you started," Jane shrugged, "Told you not to encourage her Maura _Rizzoli_."

"Yes, Ma." The word slipped easily from her tongue. And she turned to Jane, "Actually, Jane I like the way that sounds, Maura Dorthea Rizzoli." She looked at Angela, "Dr. Maura Rizzoli."

Jane looked around and couldn't see Alexis. "Okay, well while you're dangling all my mother's fantasies in front of her I'm going to go find my niece." She kissed Maura's cheek and got up and headed out of the kitchen.

* * *

"So are you ever going to tell me about that dream you had?" Jane asked as she caressed Maura's nude back from neck to tailbone.

As had become habit Maura's body was pressed against Jane's side and her head rested on Jane's shoulder. The feel of skin upon skin with no barriers was both exciting and soothing to both of them. Maura had a gentle smile and had nearly dozed off when the words brought her back.

She sighed, "I had a dream when we let Alexis sleep with us in your room."

Jane smiled at the memory. "Tell me, please?"

"It's about a child, Jane." Maura said nervously, "Our child, a daughter."

Jane turned her head slightly and kissed Maura's forehead. "I'm listening, baby."

Maura smiled at that, "I dreamt of being pregnant with your child, Jane. I carried our daughter in my womb. And then she was about 5 years old and had a bad dream and we held her between us, crooning her to sleep."

"What did she look like?" Jane said sweetly.

"She was beautiful, Jane." She said softly, "She had my eyes and your nose and long curly hair just like you."

Jane pulled Maura a little tighter, "She sounds beautiful, Maur. Just like you."

"But I am confused about something," Maura said. "She had red hair like Alexis."

Jane smiled, "It just means you like her, Maur."

"But Jane, she does not like me."

"That's where you are wrong, baby," Jane said and held her tightly again, "She does like you but believe me when I tell you that I know my niece, she feels threatened by you and if you just give her time, she'll accept you and she'll love you as much as she loves me. I know it. Just keep being you and it will come."

"Do you promise," Maura asked.

"I promise, baby. She'll come around." Jane reassured her.

Maura believed her without question because when Jane made a promise, she always kept it. She shifted slightly and Jane's breath caught as Maura draped her leg over Jane's thigh. It was an extremely intimate place to lay her leg and within a few well-placed kisses on Jane's collar bone. She had found herself on her back with the brunette's hips nestled neatly between her thighs and Jane pressing her tongue into Maura's mouth.

Maura loved it when Jane took control, almost as much as when Jane gave up that control.


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N: *WARNING - CHARACTER DEATH AHEAD.* But please have some faith in me because this isn't over yet. I'm sorry, but I saw no other way to make this work and believe me I tried.**

* * *

Kate sat at the kitchen island dressed for the day with a steaming mug of coffee as she scanned the morning edition of the Boston Herald. It was a quiet morning that Sunday with everyone still in bed and she had begun to enjoy those precious moments of peace she could steal away in the mornings. Even now, nearly a year later, it was strange to Kate how she had gone from a single woman who lived alone to standing on the doorstep of marriage, and living in a house full of people.

She imagined that many wives, girlfriends, and mothers got up earlier in the day just to have that time to fortify themselves for the remainder of the day. Kate knew what she had been getting herself into when she had moved in with Rick to take care of her partner and she had never regretted her choice.

A slight creak from the stairs that signaled someone else was up. She looked over to see Maura quietly step into the kitchen. She was dressed in designer jeans and a lovely cashmere sweater that Kate knew had to be expensive. Certain things about Maura were still a mystery to her, like how the honey blond could wear some of the priciest outfits Kate had ever seen and yet still come off as casual.

"Good morning Maura." Kate said softly.

"Oh," she said quietly, "I didn't realize anyone else was up."

"It's alright," Kate replied, "I'm usually the first one up at our place."

She poured herself a cup and added cream and sugar, "I love this time of day, especially here." She carried her cup to the island and sat across from the younger woman, "When I lived here, it was the promise of a new day, and…" she hesitated.

"And?" Kate prompted.

"And knowing that soon I would get to see Jane," Maura said sheepishly.

Kate smiled, "You've had it bad for her for a long time haven't you?"

"Yes." Maura said, "Even when we were just friends. I couldn't wait to see her. Sometimes we'd call each other in the morning and I'd get excited just seeing her name on my phone." She looked at the brunette, "Is it that way with you and Rick, too?"

"Not really," she said into her cup, "Oh he was always charming in a childish way and I knew I could like him but for me… he just grew on me, like a wart." She smiled as Maura laughed quietly, "Thing is, now I can't imagine him not being there. Sometimes it used to be nice to wake up alone, but now? Now I don't want to wake up alone anymore. Now I want to wake up beside him. To be able to touch him in the morning and sometimes wake up with his arms around me."

Maura nodded her head in agreement, "It's very odd how that one simple gesture means so much isn't it? I wake up every morning in a bizarre tangle of limbs and hair that makes me wonder how neither of us got hurt in our sleep but I wouldn't trade it for anything."

She laughed, "I don't know about hair tangled together but I'm usually the one draped over him. Maybe it's a girl thing."

"I suspect it has more to do with height." Maura chuckled, "Although Jane and I do seem to be able to switch positions. I am more often than not draped over her."

Kate rolled her eyes and snorted loudly as she took another sip.

"Is talking about your partner like this uncomfortable to you?" Maura asked, "Or is it that Jane and I are both women?"

Kate set her coffee down carefully, "No that's not it at all. I love the way Jane has been since you got together and as you know I do have a few friends who are in same sex relationships. It's just that sometimes it's funny how oblivious you can be when I know how smart you are."

"I'm not sure I understand." The curious expression made Kate's smile wider.

"Although I wouldn't say that Jane is masculine by any means, she's definitely not as feminine as you are and it's natural for her to assume a more… mannish role when you're together. I look at you together and I really can see her as the guy in your relationship even though I know she can be very girly herself."

Maura thought about that for a minute and then smiled, "Once she did say that if we were gay, she'd be the guy in the relationship."

"She does prefer pants to skirts where you are the opposite." Kate giggled, "I guess when it's a guy and a girl, this kind of thing doesn't come up."

"Oh no," Maura shook her head, "I've never thought about it before being with Jane which is strange considering that I have been seriously involved with women before. But in retrospect, I have never felt with anyone, man or woman, the way I feel about Jane."

"It's a great feeling isn't it?"

"It's a wonderful feeling." She said. "And Jane is the most attentive lover I've ever had."

"I can believe that if she has the same attention to detail that she has in everything else she does." Kate chuckled.

"More." Maura said longingly as she shook her shoulders, she steadied her heart at the memory of last night and took a sip of her coffee to hide her embarrassment. "But from the way Rick looks at you I believe he is not lacking in the attention area."

"He knows what he's doing," Kate said with a grin, "Of course last night I was the one showing him what I can do. I spent the better part of last night on top of him." She checked the watch on her wrist. "I doubt he'll be up before 9."

Maura giggled, part embarrassed by Kate's boldness, part enjoyment of how easy it was to talk to Jane's partner. "Wow. I wasn't expecting that."

"C'mon, Maura." She said, "Its girl talk. We're the girlfriends and I can imagine you're much the same with Jane."

"Not really," This caused Kate's eyebrows to rise, "But the logistics are different, obviously. So 'being on top' isn't the same experience."

Kate laughed, "I guess not."

They talked for almost an hour before noises upstairs signaled that the house was waking up for the day. Alexis was the first one down and she paused as she saw Kate and Maura laughing over coffee.

"Morning, sleepy head." Kate said warmly.

Maura turned to see the redhead and smiled, "Good Morning Alexis. Did you sleep well?"

She walked across the kitchen without answering and pulled a bottle of fruit juice out of the fridge. She popped the cap and took a healthy drink before digging through the cupboard for breakfast.

"Maura is taking us all out to breakfast today, so you might want to hold off on scrounging for food."

"I'll be okay," she grumbled, "Go on without me."

Maura's face sunk and she turned back to Kate but kept her eyes on her coffee. Kate, being as good at body language as Jane was, immediately picked up on the hurt the doctor's body was broadcasting.

"Alexis," Kate said sharply, "What's going on?"

She turned to the cop and looked at her. It wasn't often Kate spoke to her in that tone, "Nothing. I just don't want to go out for breakfast when there's food here."

"That's not it and you know very well that I know it. You want to tell me what's going on or do I have to ask your father?"

She flinched at the words, "I don't want to talk about it. I'm nineteen and I just want to be left alone." She set her juice on the counter and headed upstairs.

Kate got up to follow her but stopped next to Maura, "I really don't know what's gotten in to her but she's never been like this before."

"She hates me," Maura said, "she hates me for what Jane and I went through apart."

Kate put a hand on her shoulder, "No, that's not it. If she felt that way she wouldn't have given your card to Jane. This is something else." She patted Maura's shoulder and headed up stairs.

* * *

"It's been three weeks, James." He said sharply. "I just got off the phone with my associate down south and he's getting nervous about the bodies stacking up in New York City."

James swallowed audibly as his boss leveled an all too familiar glare in his direction, "I hired you because of your abilities to predict events and in this you have come far short of your abilities."

"I do apologize, sir." He said nervously. "The problem is that Detective Rizzoli is defying every intelligence report I have on her."

His boss stood merely inches away from him, "How so?"

James took a deep breath and relayed the information, "According to the police report, Anthony Bocholt was killed in a hand to hand fight inside Dr. Isles' condominium. They haven't identified him because he's been wiped clean from the system. She disarmed him with a paring knife."

"A PARING KNIFE!" he was livid.

"Yes sir." He gulped again, "She threw a paring knife at him and stabbed him in the wrist. She then engaged him in hand to hand combat and somehow she broke his neck."

"HOW?!"

"According to her own statement, she kicked him in the throat and the ME said with enough force to shatter two of his cervical vertebrae severing his spinal cord."

He ran a hand through his greying hair and started pacing around the room.

"If I may say, sir." James said cautiously, "I believe that Detective Rizzoli has received some form of advanced training outside of regular channels."

"How do you figure that?" he asked, "Maybe because she was able to take out a highly trained mercenary?"

"I have been studying her file extensively and I believe I have an idea about the training. Every year, Detective Rizzoli and Detective Beckett attend a law enforcement and military seminar called LETO. It's hosted by a big arms manufacturer in Springfield Illinois. She may have received initial training there. Both Beckett and Rizzoli have teamed up for an event called the Close Quarters Battle Simulator and have been achieving high scores in that event since it's inception in 2008. I wish we could have known about this before the two teamed up but we only recently made the connection."

"As I understand it a CQB is a gunfight." He stopped pacing, "How does that translate into hand to hand combat training?"

"The CQB is ran by a Special Operations Soldier. Sergeant First Class Collin O'Malley US Army. Highly decorated and aside from the LETO event, he trained soldiers in weaponry at Aberdeen Proving grounds. He's also been loaned out to Bragg, Benning, Pendleton and a few other SpecWar bases to teach hand to hand combat. He's a killer sir."

"Two weeks a year does not train a fighter."

"No sir but Aberdeen's proximity to New York and Boston does make it a possibility that he has been training her in combat. We do suspect that there is a small group of these officers that he has some kind of friendship with. But the primary threat to you is still Beckett and Rizzoli. I have an idea as to how to eliminate it."

"This had better be good or their going to find you floating in the Potomac." He said.

James laid his plan out to his boss and within a few minutes, he was nodding his head.

"Well I do admire your ingenuity perhaps a more indirect approach would be the best idea." He said with a grin. "I know a specialist who I can have on site within a few hours."

James swallowed again. _If this doesn't work, I'd be better off facing Rizzoli myself._

* * *

Rick stared at the box again as Frost drove him back to Maura's house. He reread the side label and glanced at the younger man. "Are you sure about this, I know Maura has that espresso maker at her condo."

He couldn't help but laugh. "Trust me. You've never seen Jane try to use it. Hell I have two degrees and it's complicated even for me."

"But it's a coffee maker." Rick said, "I know the lady said this is the best one but…"

"That's a Keurig." Frost said, "I'm not sure how she is at your house but she hates waiting on coffee. That's why she drinks that instant garbage. Trust me, it's a gift for both of them, Jane can have really good coffee almost instantly, it's easy to use and, Maura will thank you for getting instant out of her condo. It's a win-win."

Rick laughed and set the box into the back seat before picking up Frost's bag. "And it also happens to go with your gift."

"Can't have a new coffee maker without coffee." He chuckled. "What did you end up getting Kate and Alexis?"

"Alexis doesn't value jewelry all that much but I think she'll like this."

It was a Pandora bracelet with her name written in the charms. On one side were two mini NYPD detectives Badges, one had Kate's number the other had Jane's. The other side held two BPD badges, one had Jane's old number, the other was blank.

"I had to have the badges commissioned but it turned out great." He said with a smile.

Frost took the box and held it up for a second and passed it back, "Why the Boston Badges?"

Rick sighed heavily, "Because if Jane comes back to Boston, I have the feeling that Kate will come with her."

The car slipped in the snow a bit and Frost eased off the accelerator. He muttered something about the New England snow storm and glanced over at Castle. Rick was staring at the bracelet.

"You don't sound too happy about it." He said.

"You know," Rick said, "I like Jane, I really do. I don't pretend to know about the kind of relationship she has with Kate but…"

"But, what?"

"New York is our home." He said mournfully, "It made me who I am and it made Kate who she is. I know that Boston is a part of Jane and that she'll want to come home eventually. Even if Kate does want to come here I wonder how she'll take to living in a new city. It's one thing to visit but to live here. It's just so different from everything that makes us who we are."

Frost nodded, "Yeah."

"She asked me once if I'd follow her to Boston." He shook his head, "I said something stupid and she got mad at me. We didn't talk for a few hours and we never talked about moving to Boston again."

"Well if it does happen, Korsak and I, and even Cavanaugh will welcome you guys so it's not like you won't know anybody."

"Yeah, there is that." He sighed, "But my biggest concern is Alexis. She and Maura don't exactly get along and I can't figure out why. Maura tries so hard to connect with her. It's a side of my little girl I've never seen before."

"Look, Castle," Frost said as they approached a red light. "I know Dr. Isles and she's just as hard not to love as Jane is. If you give it some time, they'll get through it."

The light turned green and Frost pulled into the intersection.

Castle continued, "I think it might have something to do with… LOOK OUT!"

Bright headlights illuminated the Crown Victoria before the sound of screeching metal and breaking glass shattered the quiet ride. Rick registered the impact of the pickup truck and felt the car spinning. He tried to brace himself by putting his foot into the firewall an instant before the car was slammed into the traffic light pole.

_Kate, I love you! _It was Richard Castle's last thought before everything went black.

* * *

Alexis laughed at something her Aunt Jane said as she and Kate decorated the live Christmas tree both women had insisted on. Maura harrumphed at the thought of pine needles and sap falling onto her hardwood floors and was cutting a hole in the middle of one of her designer table cloths.

"Oh come on Maura." Jane said cheerfully, "How can you have Christmas without a tree?"

"It's not the tree Jane," she said defensively, "I would have happily purchased an artificial tree. One that is prelit and suitable for reuse that won't potentially ruin the floor."

"Maura," Kate laughed, "Prelit isn't nearly as fun as a real tree. This is your first Christmas with Jane as a couple and could easily become a tradition. Believe me when I tell you that should you and Jane ever have children, this will be the kind of thing they'll remember for the rest of their lives.

Alexis stopped smiling then. Jane and Kate were hanging bulbs on the tree and didn't catch the look. Maura did and Alexis knew it.

She stuck her tongue out at the doctor and continued to unwrap the garland from its packaging as if nothing had happened. Maura was about to say something but a knock at the door stopped her.

Jane looked over to Maura, "Are you expecting anyone?"

Maura shook her head.

Jane glanced at Kate and both headed to the sideboard to retrieve their weapons. Kate took up a position behind Jane as she looked out the frosted window. A dark figure stood on the porch alone.

A quick look back at her partner, a nod, and Jane unlocked the door. She cracked it open to see the last person she expected. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"Can I come in?" The impassive face of FBI Agent Gabriel Dean asked.

"You haven't answered my question." She said sharply, "So you don't get to ask one."

"Yeah." he said, "Jane, it's cold out here and I have some information for you and Detective Beckett."

"How did you know we were here?" Her voice was suspicious.

"Jane. I'm the FBI." He said as if that were all the answer he needed.

Jane looked behind her at someone and he heard footsteps, one set walking away and one set coming closer.

She opened the door and Maura Isles stared at him. It was not a friendly look.

"Jane, give me your gun." She said coldly.

She looked at her lover as Dean caught sight of the 45 in Jane's hand.

"Because I'm going to shoot this man where he stands." Maura grabbed for Jane's gun and Dean took a step back.

"Maura!" She said as she held the gun away from her girlfriend. "He's a fed, you can't just shoot him."

"Kate! Give me your gun, please." She said as she turned away from the door.

"Well, I can see this is going to be an interesting night." He said calmly.

"I think you have your answer." Jane said as she started to close the door.

Dean stuck his foot into the door jam. "Someone was sent to Boston to kill you Jane."

She opened the door again, "Sounds like my life."

"Not just you."

"I know, Kate too." She said sharply. "What else is new?"

"Not just Kate either." He pulled his foot away as Maura came back to the door. Fortunately she was empty handed.

"I was attacked in New York, Agent Dean." Maura said, her anger still riding her. "Jane killed him to protect me and I have no doubt she'll continue to protect me."

"I know." He said simply. "But Jane is only one person and Richard and Alexis Castle are also in danger."

Maura glanced to the red head sitting on the couch. The child from her dream flashed into her mind and Maura felt a new feeling wash over her, maternal protectiveness. She couldn't let anything happen to Alexis.

She turned back to Dean and her voice was calmer than before, "You have ten minutes before I go looking for another gun and we find out just how much of Paddy Doyle's daughter I really am."

She turned and walked to the couch. He raised an eyebrow at Jane and as he opened his mouth she cut him off.

"Say one thing about my girlfriend, Dean and I'll hand her the gun." Jane said as she stepped aside.

Dean knocked the snow off his shoes and stepped inside. _So much for making nice._

Jane sat on the couch with Maura to her left and Alexis to her right. Kate sat on the other side of the young girl.

Jane checked her watch and glowered, "Ten minutes, go."

Dean slipped off his shoes knowing how Maura felt about them in the house and sat down in Jane's old lazy-boy. He leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees, hands clasped together.

"A couple of my contacts have reported that there's a contract out on your lives." He looked at the four women, "All of you, plus Castle."

Alexis leaned in a little closer to Jane. Kate glared at him, "Why all of us?"

"I really don't know but it comes from D.C.." he frowned, "Someone with a lot of power and political favor is moving things around and we're not sure who." He looked directly at Jane and then to Kate. "I have a feeling you might."

"Why would any of us know?" Maura said, "None of us live anywhere near Washington."

"I've read your files." He said, "All of them. Captain Montgomery's death, the sniper that shot Kate, the two attempts on your life Jane."

Jane looked at him in confusion, "I only know about one attempt and it was Maura and I."

He shook his head, "Nathaniel Murphy was an attempt to take out you and your partner."

Alexis paled and grabbed up Kate's hand tightly. She leaned in to the red head and started stroking her hair. "That's not possible. Murphy was just a guy who killed a hooker."

"The hooker was just bait to get you into that factory." He said. "I went through the background myself. He was after you."

They all thought about that for a second. If it were true then this had started long before Maura had chased down Joanna Beckett's headlines.

"The FBI is searching for a connection but all we've been able to get is a link between you and Kate. But since you're not working any high profile or dirty cases were at a loss as to where to look. I was hoping you could help me with that."

He watched Jane and Kate carefully as they looked at each other. He couldn't be certain but it seemed like they were talking somehow. Subtle looks and head movements. Their eyes didn't even blink as they met. Finally Kate nodded.

Jane turned back to Dean, "Everything I'm about to tell you is dangerous. It's gotten a lot of people killed and it's the only thing I can think of that could cause this kind of desperation."

"It's a cold case I've been working on in my off time." Kate said and there was something in her voice.

"Joanna Beckett." Dean said.

"Yeah." Kate instinctively fingered the ring on her necklace. "My mother."

"I've read the file that Detective Raglan put together. There's not much to go on." He said.

"That's because John Raglan was one of the men who hired Dick Coonan was the one who killed her." There was a fire to her eyes that gave him pause.

"The cop investigating the murder was the one who killed her?" He asked and his expression was unreadable, "Do you have any proof of this?"

"Not enough." Jane said, "Three cops were kidnapping mob bosses they couldn't convict for ransom. An ADA found out and blackmailed them into giving him the money. Raglan was one of them and Montgomery was another."

"The third?" he saked.

"Gary McAllister." Kate said, "We found out about this when Montgomery sacrificed himself for me. To make sure I was safe, he'd been doing that since my mother died."

"Because he was in on the conspiracy," Jane continued, "He kept Kate from digging too far in to the case so the guy in charge won't kill her."

"I assume the ADA is the one who's doing the killing now?"

"He has the most to lose since two of the cops are dead." Jane said.

"Who is he?" Dean was on the edge of his seat now, so uncharacteristic of him to betray emotion.

Kate glanced at Jane and after a reassuring nod she quietly said the name, "New York Senator William Bracken."

Dean's eyes went wide, "Bracken? He's the most favored by his party to run for the Presidency?"

"We don't know anything more than that." Jane said. "Just the name we got from McAllister."

"My god." He said and wiped his hand on his forehead, "I knew it was going on high up but not that goddamned high."

"Dean," Jane said, "Be careful with this information. Everyone who knows about it is either dead or being hunted. If you run off and tell your bosses about this like you did Paddy, I will hunt you down if anything happens to my family and word to the wise, Beckett and the Castle's _are_ my family."

Jane's phone rang and she got up to answer it, "Rizzoli."

It was Korsak and his voice was shaky, _"__Jane, I'm at Boylson and Arlington. You and Kate better get over here."_

A feeling of dread filled her, "Korsak? What's going on?" Kate caught the voice and looked at her partner.

_"__Frost and Castle were in a car accident,"_ his voice cracked and he took a deep breath, _"__It's bad Jane, it's real bad."_

"Kate!" She dropped her phone, "We got to go, Now!"

Kate jumped to her feet and grabbed her coat, "What's up?"

Dean stood up and paused as he caught the look on Jane's face, "Dean. Take Maura and Alexis to BPD right now."

"Jane. What's going on?" He said.

"Frost and Castle were in a car wreck and it's bad." She said as she grabbed her coat.

"DAD!" Alexis ran to grab her coat and Jane stopped her, "Baby girl I need you to go to the station with Dean."

"Jane, it's my DAD!" She shouted.

"I know and I swear we'll call you as soon as we find out how bad. But you heard Dean, I can't live with myself if you or Maura got hurt. I need you to go to the station. Cavanaugh and the others can keep you safe and we'll be there as soon as we can."

"Aunt Jane!" she shouted, "I need to get to my Dad!"

Maura slipped her arms around the young girl and Alexis shoved her away, "Don't touch me!"

Jane straightened and her look sent a shiver down her niece, "Alexis! You will go with Agent Dean to BPD so Kate and I are not worried about your safety. So we're not distracted from our jobs. We will find out what's going on and we will come get you when we're done, you got it?!"

Kate grabbed her by the shoulders, "Alexis. Go with Dean and Maura. I know you're worried about your Dad but Jane is right, you and Maura need to be safe especially since this guy want's you too. I'd die if something happened to you."

Alexis looked from one to the other. Neither of them budged and it was clear that they were not taking no for an answer. She quietly nodded as Maura handed her her coat, she snatched it rudely and threw it on.

Dean watched the entire thing and was surprised when Maura grabbed Jane into a fierce kiss. Kate finished strapping on her gun and slid Jane her holster. Jane took it and rewrapped her arms around Maura.

They slowly parted and he heard Maura whisper to Jane, "Be careful. I can't live without _you._"

Jane nodded slowly with her forehead pressed to Maura's. "Just get to BPD safely and I'll come for you soon."

Jane kissed her again and stepped away, she stopped to look at Dean, "The two most precious things in my life are in your care, Gabriel. Don't let anything happen to them."

Kate paused, "I don't know you but if something happens to them, you won't live long enough to regret it."

They headed out the door and in seconds the Impala was sliding out of the driveway and hauling ass down the snow covered road, red and blue lights flashing from the windows and taillights.

Dean looked back at the two women in his care. Neither of them was very friendly with him. Maura he understood, now more than ever. But young Alexis Castle seemed to have a grudge against Dr. Isles and he had a feeling that Jane was the cause. Considering that he hadn't known Jane and Maura were involved beyond friendship before Jane's comment about the gun, he really didn't think he wanted to know why Alexis was so mean to the good Doctor.

He glanced out the door and seeing no obvious trouble he pulled his keys out and rested another hand on his weapon. He turned back to Maura, "For whatever it may be worth, I'm sorry."

"Save it." She said shortly. "Once were at BPD you can leave." She guided a hostile Alexis out the door and he twisted the lock and closed up.

* * *

The ride to the station in Deans Lincoln wasn't all that far but Maura wanted answers and she wanted them now. So she sat in the back seat with Alexis and after buckling her seat belt she turned on the red head.

"Okay, enough is enough." She said to the girl as Dean made the turn onto Beacon Street. "Really, Alexis I don't know what your problem is with me but it has to stop."

She snorted at the blond and remained silent.

"You won't talk to Jane, you won't talk to Kate, and you won't talk to your father." She huffed, "Since I'm the problem, why don't you lay it out on me and get it over with."

The red head ignored her and stared out the driver side window. Maura glanced at the rear view mirror. Dean was keeping his eyes on the road.

"Why did you give my card to Jane if you didn't want me to be with her?" She asked quietly.

Alexis turned to her, her blue eyes were fierce with anger, "Because she loves you! Because she needs you! I'd do anything for my Aunt Jane and that's why I did it!"

"Then why are you being so mean to me?" she asked honestly. "I've done nothing but love and cherish her and I could never repay you for what you've done for us."

"Because, I want her to be happy and all she want's is _YOU!"_ she turned away.

Maura's head spun around and a question needed to be asked, "Are you in love with Jane?"

She stared in disbelief, "OH yeah. I'm in love with a woman whom I call my aunt. Can we go on Springer now?"

"I'm not familiar with the reference." She said.

Alexis shook her head, "You took my aunt Jane away from me!"

"I did no such thing." Maura said indignantly, "All she talks about is how much she loves me and how wonderful you are."

"All those IQ points and you still don't get it do you?" she said, "Forget it. Just leave me alone."

She went back to staring out the window. She caught the sign that said Joy Street.

A large SUV was heading in the opposite direction as it veered into them. Gabriel Dead swerved the wheel and punched the gas as the front bumper of the big truck smashed into the rear door, where Alexis was sitting. Alexis covered her head as the glass shattered into a thousand pieces reining twinkling bits all over her and Maura. The car was swung around and spun into the Boston Common park right between two trees.

The car came to a stop and the SUV stopped on the wrong side of the street. A man jumped out of the Driver's seat and from his vantage point Dean could see a pistol in his hand.

He tried to open his door but it was wedged. "Maura! Get the girl out of here NOW!"

The man saw Dean moving and fired off two rounds. Dean's window shattered and a bullet passed through the windshield into his shoulder. With one hand he pulled his gun and the other tried in vain to unbuckle the seatbelt. It was stuck solid. Dean aimed and fired two rounds. He saw one hit the man in the thigh from the blood spray that accompanied the round. He wasn't sure about the second.

He could hear Maura scrambling out the passenger side door with a frightened Alexis with her.

Dean smacked his weapon into the buckle and it came loose, He reached for the far side door and had just opened it when several more bullets came through the windshield. He felt them hit him but he had to get to the girls. He was fading into the black when he managed to get his hand with his weapon out the door.

Maura grabbed Alexis in both hands as they crouched behind the car, "Okay, we're going to run into the commons and try to lose him in the trees."

Alexis nodded as the door opened and several more shots rang out into the night. She slipped and fell to her butt at the sound. She started to regain her footing when a man limped around the car. He leveled a pistol at them. Maura seen him too . She didn't even think as she instinctively grabbed Alexis and wrapped her into her arms. Two shots rang out and she felt Maura jerk as she clutched her into her arms.

A look passed between her and Maura before Maura slowly fell to her side.

She looked up at the man who had just shot Maura, the woman who just took those shots to protect her. He was fumbling to put another magazine into his pistol. Alexis caught sight of Dean's hand still holding his gun. She reached for it and took it into both hands as the man finally locked the clip in place.

Alexis raised her arms and pulled the trigger. The gun bucked in her hand and she felt something bite into the skin between her thumb and her index finger. She didn't care, he killed Maura and was trying to kill her. She pulled the trigger again and again and again until the slide slid back for the last time and locked in place. Still she tried to squeeze the trigger but it wouldn't move.

She heard the sound of a body hitting the snow covered ground and realized that it was the man with the gun. She dropped the pistol into the snow and checked on Dean. His eyes stared into nothingness and there was a small line of blood falling from his mouth.

_Oh my god, what do I do?_ Her thoughts were scrambled in her mind as she tried to rationalize a fast list. The thought came to her in Jane's voice, _Call the police for help._

_But their tied up with the accident, I need to get them here now._ Again her Aunt's voice rang in her head _Officer down!_

_Location,_ she remembered the sign and she knew she was on Beacon. She fumbled with Dean's coat and pulled out his phone. She punched in 911.

_"__Nine-One-One what's your emergency?"_

Her voice was unsteady as she spoke, "Officer down, officer down Beacon at Joy Street. Boston Commons. Shots fired!"

The dispatchers voice got distant but she heard, "Shot's fired. Officer Down Beacon and Joy." She came back on the line "Identify yourself."

"My name is Alexis Castle." She said and she heard her name but not from the phone. She turned around to see Maura's hand out stretched toward her. "MAURA!"

Alexis dropped the phone, she could hear the dispatcher calling out but she didn't care. Maura was alive!

She took the woman's hand and dropped to her knees next to her. She heard her name again, barely a hoarse whisper.

"Alexis." Maura breathed, "Jane will need you now."

Alexis started to cry at her words, "No Maura, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. Please, she needs you more and I'm sorry. You have to live, you can't leave her Maura. She'll die without you."

Maura gripped her hand and looked into her eyes. "I… love… you…. Jane."

Her eyes closed and her breathing became more ragged. Alexis felt for a pulse and found it, weak slow. She seen the blood pouring out of Maura's back.

She didn't think as she just pulled Maura onto her stomach and slammed her hands over the two dark wet spots on her back. She held her hands in place and started yelling, her voice was strong but hysterical.

"You cant die, Maura. You have to liv. I'm sorry but you cant die, don't die."

She looked out into the night and screamed at the top of her lungs as she tried to hold back the blood.

"HELP ME!" She screamed, "HELP ME! Her voice cried out into the night as tears poured from her eyes, "HEEELLLP MEEEE!"


	23. Chapter 23

**A/N: Yeah, the last chapter was a rough one and I didn't want to post without having at least the next one to go with it. The cliffhanger where Kate was shot by the sniper? Yeah that sucked. The one where Jane shot herself and Bobby, sucked worse. Great episodes, but I hated waiting for the next seasons. So here we go with Part Two. Z, MJ, M. I had a lot of mixed feelings and emotions on the last one and this one. Please let me know what you're thinking.**

* * *

There were days that Dr. Jordan Cavanaugh hated her job. Tonight was no exception as she climbed out of the BPD cruiser assigned to her boyfriend Woody Hoyt. He looked at her over the roof and his eyes were warm and reassuring, telling her that he was right behind her.

She took a deep breath and steadied herself. She hated calls like this but as the Chief Medical Examiner of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts she couldn't just back out of a call, and not when it came from her uncle, Lieutenant Sean Cavanaugh.

She spotted him standing near the fire trucks and two ambulances off to one side of the wreck as a man on a gurney was loaded into the back. She opened the back door of Woody's car and pulled out the medical bag Maura Isles had given her, again reminding her of the life that was taken. A life that her former boss had valued greatly.

She took a deep breath and headed over to the wrecked cruiser. She never made it to the car as another siren blared loudly from around the corner. The car came to a screaming halt in the snow and the siren was switched off. Two women jumped out of the car and rushed over to the Ambulance. Jordan could see the glint of Badges on their coats.

Before she made it to the car that still held the body of her friend the dark haired woman was running to the car.

"FROST!" She shouted. Jordan recognized her as Jane Rizzoli.

She held her hands out to stop the former detective and she was shoved to the side. Woody grabbed ahold of her as Jordan added herself to the restraining force.

"HE'S GONE, RIZZOLI!" Woody shouted.

"NOO!" she shoved him back.

"Jane!" Jordan shouted, "Listen to me!"

Jane stopped as she eyed the ME.

"You don't want to go over there." She said and her voice was shaking, "I know already, you don't want to see it Jane."

"He was my friend!" She shouted.

"He was mine too." Jordan said, and she couldn't keep it held any longer. She let loose the tears, "He was my friend too, Jane. He welcomed me when Maura fired Pike. He helped me step up after she left. He let me help him and Korsak solve cases and he was my friend too."

Jane stopped fighting woody as Korsak joined them but her eyes never left the sight of the wreck.

"Janie?" he said, "There getting ready to take Castle to Mass General. Beckett's going to ride with him. I think you should go talk to them before they go."

She broke eye contact with the car and looked to her old sergeant.

He nodded, "There's no reason to see it Jane. Best you remember him like he was."

A tear slid down her cheek as Woody and Jordan let her go. She nodded to him and headed toward the ambulance. She had just made it to the back when they heard gunshots in the distance. All eyes turned toward the park.

Cavanaugh looked out into the night, "Someone get me a radio!"

A uniform jogged up and as he unhooked his mike the dispatcher called out, "S_hots fired, Officer down Beacon and Joy, Boston Commons. Shots fired officer down Beacon and Joy. Civilian caller, Alexis Castle."_

"Alexis." Jane gasped.

She heard Castle call to Kate, "Go get her."

Kate jumped out of the EMS and ran as fast as she could to the Impala. Jane was already sliding into the driver's seat as several other officers ran to their cars. Cavanaugh shouted directions as he too ran for a car.

Jane spun the car around in reverse and floored it down Boylston towards Charles Street. Again the sirens wailed out into the night. Nearly half of the other BPD cruisers took off with them.

Jordan shouted to the second ambulance, "GO! GET OVER THERE! BEACON AND JOY! MOVE YOUR ASSES!"

The EMT's who were preparing to transport Frost to the morgue slammed doors shut and jumped in. They too followed the lights down Boylston.

Jane pulled the emergency break at Charles Street and the car slid sideways around the corner. Once she let it go, she floored it again and headed towards Beacon at a dangerous pace. She had been grateful Maura had sent her to Racing School a couple of years ago for her birthday but never as grateful as she was right now. She had a healthy lead over the other cruisers and as she came around the corner at Beacon she seen the SUV sitting sideways blocking the street.

Kate had a death grip on the door waiting for Jane to stop the car. Not because she was scared of Jane's driving, far from it. She was scared for Alexis. Officer down was not something she would say lightly. Something very wrong happened.

Jane slid the car sideways again as she came around the SUV to see Dean's Lincoln Jammed long ways between two trees. She shoved the Impala into park and they jumped out.

"HELP ME!" It was Alexis and she sounded in absolute pain. "HELP ME! SOMEBODY!"

A glance to her partner ant they both had their gun drawn and were running to the other side of the car and Kate gasped as she seen the carnage.

Alexis caught sight of them, "She's dying. HELP ME!" She was crying Jane caught sight of Maura and ran to her. She fell on to her knees and started screaming.

"Maura!" She held a hand to her neck and felt the light pulse as Alexis continued to wail. "Maura, baby?!"

Her skin was so cold. All of a sudden the night she had been forced to cut into Maura's leg came back to haunt her. She almost lost her that night on the way to the hospital. Jane pushed her hands around Alexis' and took over.

Alexis slid away and into Kate's arms. "I don't know what to do, Mom. Help her, please!"

BPD Cruisers came to a halt on the street and Kate called out, "Call an ambulance! Get a Medic here NOW! Code Blue!"

"Ambulance is on the way, he's at the end of the line!" He started shouting to the others, "Clear the way for the Med!"

The uniform called into his radio. "Get that ambulance up front, code blue. Beacon and Joy."

He shined a light on Maura, then Alexis then at Kate. "Where's the officer down?"

"He's in the car, DOA." She said quietly as she rocked Alexis in her arms. "He's FBI. This is Dr. Isles, your previous CME and she's bleeding out."

The ambulance arrived and the uniforms yanked the gurney out and hauled it over to the doc. The paramedics hot on their heels.

"Maura, baby, don't do this to me." Jane said her voice quivering, "You can't leave me here like this."

She leaned in to Maura, "I want to have a baby with you. I can't do that if you leave me."

The EMT's landed next to her and started their jobs.

"Ma'am. I need you to let go." One of them said.

"Compresses." She shouted.

"I have them right here just lift up one hand and I'll apply it." He said, Jane pulled her hand away and he jammed the pad over the wound. She lifted her other and he repeated the process.

"She's tacky as hell, we got to move her now." The other one said, his name tag identified him as Morgan.

"We need to stabilize." Jefferson said to Morgan.

"Move her now or she's gone." He shouted to the uniforms surrounding them.

They slid her onto a board and BPD picked her up while the EMT's worked. They started hauling her to the Ambulance. When Jefferson said, "We need to stabilize or no one can drive."

"This is Dr. Maura Isles!" Morgan shouted, "BPD can drive!"

Jane looked to Kate who still held Alexis tightly. _"__Go with her!"_

Jane ran for the back of the ambulance. BPD shoved the gurney into the back and the EMT's climbed aboard. A young female officer ran to the front and jumped into the driver's seat. Jane climbed in and a cop slammed the doors shut. He shouted into his radio, "Go Charlie!"

Officer Charlotte Hansen put the ambulance into drive and flipped on the siren. Two BPD cruisers took up the lead and she headed to Mass General.

* * *

Kate held Alexis tight as she continued to bawl into her, "I'm sorry. Mom, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to be so awful to her, I'm sorry." Kate registered the words and knew Alexis was in shock. She needed to get her out of the cold.

"It's alright baby girl." She said. "I know you didn't mean it. She knows it too."

Cavanaugh came around the car and looked at Kate and the young Alexis Castle. He looked at the body and at Agent Dean.

He shouted at the officers, "Get some blankets over here now!"

As several officers ran over he directed them to cover the bodies and wrap two of them around the women. He knelt down in front of them.

"How is she?" he said softly.

Kate looked up, "She's in shock. I have to get her out of here, sir."

"Get her into the car, I'll take you over." He said more softly.

He signaled two uniforms to help them up.

"Baby girl?" Kate said softly, "We have to get up now. Can you walk?"

Alexis cried out more. Kate shook her head and adjusted her arms around Alexis. She tried to pick her up but started to stumble on the frozen ground. Cops grabbed her and Alexis and helped them up. Kate walked to Jane's car carrying Alexis. Officers held them both up and eased them into the back seat. Cavanaugh shut the door and headed around the car.

"You call Mass Gen and have them standing by to assist." He said as he slid into the car. He put the car in gear and headed to the hospital.

"Sean Cavanaugh." He said, "You must be Beckett."

She nodded as she crooned to Alexis.

He listened to the girl crying, "I killed him, Mom."

"Killed who sweetheart?" she said softly.

"The man who killed Dean, who shot Maura, I killed him. I'm sorry. Mom, I'm so sorry." She burst into tears again. "I killed someone."

"Shh," she said softly, "don't worry about that right now. Just don't worry about it. I've got you and you're going to be okay."

Cavanaugh made the turn off of Joy and onto Cambridge. Kate watched as he checked both sides of the street for any further attacks. He had deliberately left the police lights on to identify Jane's car as a police vehicle. Two blue and whites took up position behind him as he made his way to Grove Street. He kept his other eye on Kate and Alexis.

They made it to the hospital without incident and Cavanaugh handed the car off to an officer with instructions to park the car in the hospital police lot. He and another uniform helped Kate and Alexis ease out of the car and into the emergency room entrance.

Between his badge and Kate's the ER staff quickly got a doctor to administer a mild sedative to Alexis. Once finally asleep, Kate lowered her onto a hospital bed and a doctor checked her over. Kate pulled off her badge and clipped it onto the sleeping form of Alexis.

Cavanaugh stared at her. "What are you doing?"

"This will tell everyone here that she's a cop's kid."

"Is that how they do it in NYPD?" he asked.

"No." she said as the doctor carted her off, "We have special ones for family. I haven't gotten her one yet and now I'm wishing I had."

Cavanaugh lead her to the ER desk, "Richard Castle's location please." He said.

"No." she said to the receptionist. "I need to see my partner first."

He glanced at her but nodded, "Waiting area for Maura Isles."

The short Latina woman nodded and led the way. As they walked he couldn't help but ask, "Why Jane first? Your husband is here, too."

"Alexis is in shock but sedated. Rick isn't in danger of dying." She said and she took a deep breath, "Jane however, must be going insane and since she needs me the most right now that's where I need to be."

"I've known Jane a long time," he said, "I think I can handle her for a while if you want to see Rick."

"I know you're getting married to her mother, lieutenant. But believe me when I tell you that I'm the only other person besides Maura that's going to be of any comfort to her tonight."

"That's why she went to you in New York." He said.

"Jane lost some good people tonight and even if they can save Maura, it's going to shake Jane badly. She's really going to be on edge, sir and I'm the one you want nearby."

They came into the waiting room to find Jane pacing back and forth. She stopped as she caught sight of Kate. Two steps and Kate had her arms around her friend. Jane buried her face in the chestnut waves and let out a loud cry.

Kate stood still as Jane let out her worry, her fear, and her doubts. Cavanaugh had never seen Jane let go like that. He calmly headed to the nurses station to get some information about Maura.

After a few minutes Jane composed herself but the worry and fear were still there. "How's Alexis?"

"She was in shock but they have her sedated and she's resting now."

"And Rick?"

"His leg is broken in three places and he has a fractured rib." She smiled as she rubbed a tear from her partners face, "How are you?"

"Scared shitless." Jane sniffed, "she crashed in the ambulance and they got her going again but she crashed again when they took her back. I don't know anything else."

"Jane." She said softly. "There's nothing you or I could have done."

"Frost and Dean are dead, Kate!" she said sharply, turning her grief into anger. "They died over this case. Maura might not make it, and they tried to kill Alexis too."

"I know Jane!" she shouted her own guilt piling up in front of her. "I know, damn it. It's my fault. I couldn't leave my mother's death alone and it's gotten a lot of my friends killed too."

"Goddamn it that's not what I'm saying at all!" Jane shouted back, "I'd be doing the same fucking thing if it was my own mother! Don't you dare feel guilty about that!"

"Then what are you saying, Jane?" She fired back, "What do you think we should do about it?"

"Let's bring this mother fucker down!" she shouted, "Open it up, full bore. No more hiding. We dig and we dig until we have enough evidence to bring this son of a bitch to his fucking knees!"

Cavanaugh rushed back over to them and stuck two fingers in his mouth and blew a shrewd whistle. They turned to look at him.

"That's enough! Now I don't know exactly what you two are into but it stops right now. I lost a good cop today. I got a dead FBI agent in my town and a dead guy who killed him. A traumatized girl who made the bad guy dead and my former ME is in critical care from protecting said girl from said bad guy. Now I'm listening to you argue over a case that may have brought this shit to my town. I'd throw you both in lock up right now except that my future wife would call for my head on a platter and my nuts in a cup! Now _shut up_! _Both_ of you! Or you can get your _asses on a plane and _GET THE HELL OUT OF **MY TOWN!**" His voice echoed throughout the room.

Nurses and Orderlies froze in place as he turned and walked back to the desk. A glare from them and sight of his gold badge got everyone moving again. Kate stared at him in disbelief as Jane turned away angry. She paced the floor again and Kate soon joined her. It was an hour before a nurse came out.

"Castle Family?" She said.

Kate and Jane immediately headed to her.

"Mr. Castle is out of surgery and is in a recovery room, I can bring you both back now." She said.

Kate nodded and Jane followed her.

* * *

Her senses slowly returned but her eyes felt so heavy and she tried hard to open them. They wouldn't move. She tried again and again until the faintest of light started to work its way into her vision. Again she forced herself to open her eyes and more light was revealed until it was too bright, her vision blurry.

She blinked and her vision started to clear so she blinked again and d finally she found chocolate eyes with sharp cheek bones, a huge grin with brilliant white teeth and small worry lines around those eyes.

"Hey." The woman said, her face familiar to her but the fog in her mind wouldn't allow her to recall the woman. "Are you feeling better?"

She blinked again and tried to clear her head. "What happened?" she managed to whisper.

"You scared us so much." Jane said._Her name is Jane._

"I feel like crap." She whispered.

"Well you give a minute for that shot to wear off and it'll go away." She said and her hand brushed a lock of red hair out of her vision.

"Alexis." Jane said, "You were so brave, kiddo. I'm so proud of you."

_Proud of me? What did I do?_ She took a deep breath and the fog rolled away in her brain. Last night came back to her in a rush. The car ride the crash, the gunshots, Maura grabbing her nad then falling in the snow.

_MAURA!_ Alexis jerked up and immediately regretted it as her stomach pitched. She held the bile down and gasped. "MAURA!"

Jane grabbed her by the shoulders and steadied her. "Whoa there, take it easy."

"Maura was shot!" She looked at her hands and didn't see the blood that had coated it earlier. "Was it a dream? Please tell me it was a dream."

Jane's smile faded, "No, baby girl, it wasn't a dream, I'm sorry."

"Where is she?" Alexis' voice rose in a panic, "I need to see her. I need to apologize."

"You can't, baby girl." Jane said and took her hand, "She can't hear you."

Her mind immediately jumped to the worst and guilt filled her, "no… No… Please Aunt Jane, tell me she's not dead. PLEASE!"

Jane pulled her into her arms tightly, "She's not dead, kiddo. She's not."

"Then where is she? Why can't she hear me?"

"She's in a coma." Jane said and Alexis watched Jane's grief fill her face, "She's in a bad way but she's strong. They put her in a medical induced coma."

"Take me to her." Alexis said as she swung her legs off the bed, "I need to see her."

"Alexis."

"NOW!" She shouted.

Jane stepped back to look at her niece. Alexis had a fire in her eyes that Jane had seen before. It was the same fire that Kate got when she wouldn't take no for an answer.

"I just came from there." Jane said, "You shouldn't see her like that."

Alexis stood up and started heading for the door, her bare backside barely covered under the open back of the hospital gown.

"Hey." She stopped to look at her Aunt. "If you're going to go anyway, put these on first." Jane tossed black hospital scrubs down on the bed and walked out.

Alexis looked at the blue hospital gown and at the scrubs. Jane was right of course but in her defense she just woke up in a hospital. As she took off the gown she heard a loud metal thud on the floor. She looked to see a detectives badge on the floor. Not just anyone's badge, it was Kate's.

_She must have dropped it when she came to check on me._

She quickly changed and felt the cold seep into her feet. _Where are all my clothes?_ She found a pair of blue crime scene booties siting on the chair Jane had been sitting in and slipped them on over her feet before retrieving the metal on the floor and walking out. She found Jane in the hall way and only then did she see that Jane was wearing the same outfit but with her badge hooked into the bottom of the v-neck line.

"Where are my clothes?" she asked.

"In evidence bags, the same as mine." She said. "Jordan Cavanaugh lent them to us."

"And this?" She held up the blue and gold shield and Jane took it out of hand. "Kate hooked that to you before the doctors took you away." She hooked the badge on the girl's shirt. "You can give it back to her when you see her."

Alexis stared open mouthed at the object as it hung on her. _Kate didn't drop it or it fell off! She put it on me!_

She gasped at what the gesture meant. Kate had very clearly declared that Alexis was family to an NYPD detective. Kate claimed her as her own child and that the hospital had better take care of her or face Kate's wrath. Again it was unusual but not unheard of. What was unheard of was that Alexis hadn't really been injured but Kate put her shield on her anyway.

She looked to Jane who waved her down the hall.

"C'mon." she said her voice devoid of emotion, "Let's go see your Dad first."

"Well look at this?" Rick said from a hospital bed identical the one Alexis had just left. "I leave you two alone for a couple of hours and you're dressing the same all over again."

"DAD!" Alexis ran to her father and grabbed him into a fierce hug.

"Hey!" he groaned, "Go easy there on the old man."

Alexis let him go and stared at the massive splint on his leg. "Are you all right?"

"More or less." He said nonchalantly as he looked over his wounds. "Leg's broke and some bruised ribs. The doctors said something about a concussion but I told them not to worry. Don't have much up there anyway."

"Dad." She said, "I was so worried about you."

"I know." He stroked her head, "I know but I'll be fine." His mind wandered to Maura. "I'll be fine," he repeated but more softly.

He looked to Jane and could see the worry all over her. She didn't even bother to hide it. Her eyes met his and he knew they were both thinking the same thing.

Jane quickly changed the subject, "Where's Kate?"

He smiled, welcoming the change, "She got called out by Cavanaugh. Not sure where they went but he was pretty insistent. They probably had to go call Gates."

Jane groaned loudly and she could just imagine what Captain Gates would be saying next time she came across her least favorite detective.

_"__Damn it Rizzoli. Trouble just follows you everywhere you go. I've got half a mind to yank your badge and toss your bony little ass out on the street. You're going to ruin your partner's reputation, my Homicide Squad's reputation, my precincts reputation, and the reputation of the whole NYPD. Now get the hell out of my sight."_

_Yep, the next conversation with Iron Gates was going to suck._

Jane grimaced as her mind drifted to the transfer paperwork in her desk.

"So what is this?" He asked as he fingered the badge on his daughter's shirt.

Alexis looked at him, "Aunt Jane said that Kate put it on me when the doctors took me away."

Rick smiled, "She loves you, Alexis."

"I know, Dad." She said as she hugged him, lighter this time, "I know."

As thoughts of Maura refilled her head, Jane forced a smile and quietly slipped out of the room and headed down the hallway. She couldn't stand it anymore and she began to run. Her booted feet slipped as she dashed around the corner and another short dash before she slid to a stop at the door to Maura's room.

She lay there deathly still and only the steady pace of the ventilator steady beep of the heart monitor proved that Maura was alive. She quietly shut the door and sat back down in the uncomfortable chair as she took her lovers hand into her own.

"I'm sorry I left you for so long, baby." She said to the sleeping form, "I had to check on Alexis and she's going to be okay, I think."

Jane tucked a lock of hair behind Maura's ear. "And now you have another reason to pull through this. She needs to talk to you, she wants to apologize." Her voice wavered, "So you don't worry about anything but getting better. I need you to get better, baby."

Jane stood up an eased herself onto the hospital bed with Maura. Careful not to knock anything lose and rested her head on Maura's pillow.

She kissed Maura's cheek and whispered into her ear, "I love you, Maura. I've loved you since the day I asked you out to lunch in the morgue and you've become such a part of my life that I can't live without you anymore." She squeezed Maura's hand, "Come back to me, baby, just come back."

* * *

**A/N: Lee Thompson Young and Bruce McGill had a wonderful working chemistry and really brought the characters to life. I'll miss him on the show as much as all of you will. I really did think about keeping him going here but the truth is that things happen for reasons we never are certain of.****LTY had his reasons too and no matter what anyone ever says about it, ****_I won't judge him for it._****But for the integrity of his character and the show that we love, I felt that it was an unfortunate landmark that couldn't be avoided. We are all slaves to our hearts and I must follow mine. Forgive me.**

**Rest in Peace Mr. Young with all of our hearts.**

**If this has in anyway offended anyone reading this, you have my sincerest apologies. It was certainly not my intention.**

**As far as agent Dean goes, After the Paddy deal, who hasn't wanted to pop this guy? **

**Okay that's not true at all. Dean was the best suited existing character to perform the task of the information, one of the few Jane could trust, and one who would die to protect the things Jane loves. I loved the Jane/Dean set up in the books and was hoping to see that in the show but since so many didn't like either the character on the show or Mr. Burke's portrayal of Gabriel Dean, which by the way was very similar to the Dean in Ms. Gerritsen's books, Ms. Tamaro shut him down. **

**So it goes to show that all you Rizzles supporters have a say, so start shipping Rizzles and push emails and Fill out the TNT surveys and all that stuff because they do listen from time to time. Here's hoping Ms. Nash gets the clue. Truth be told, I'd be just fine if they shot the Rizzles episode right now and sat on it for the Series Finale that inevitably must come. Such is the nature of TV.**

**Unless you're General Hospital. Unkh.**

**Since I haven't done this in a while, Liv, Paddy, and a new guy are coming in soon, the Transfer question is in the air but I'd love to hear thoughts, Boston or NYC. Plus as a tiny thing to offset all the bad I introduced Charlie Hansen as well, doesn't Frankie deserve some happiness too?**

**100K+ words, not bad for wanting to make a 5 shot. Oops. ****J**


	24. Chapter 24

**A/N: Two short or one long. I went with long and her we go. Closing in on the end of this little adventure. The language is harsh so be warned. MJ-Z-M keep em coming cause you know I love you guys. I wanted to post tonight but My Muse was so excited I sent it out early.**

**M- This whole arc was started by that one single idea you gave me about Maura and Alexis. Hope you enjoyed the ride. Just a gem from wish fulfilment culminated here.**

* * *

Angela followed Sean down the hallways at Mass General. Her heart pounding remembering the last time Jane was here and how she had very nearly lost her daughter. She knew that she'd find Jane and Maura together, just like last time, except this time it was Maura who was at Death's doorstep. She stifled her grief and tears as she walked.

Beneath it all she was angry. Angry that someone had tried to take her girls from her, angry that after everything that happened, Jane and Maura had found happiness together and it had been ripped away from them. She was angry at Jane too, for not protecting Maura even though she knew that Jane would give her life for her. It wasn't right and she knew it, but it was there.

But all that anger disappeared as Sean opened a door and revealed what was inside. Maura was lying on one side of a hospital bed with the blue ventilator tube protruding from her mouth. Her hair was disheveled and she was so pale. A large IV bottle hung from a pole attached to the bed as well as several wires and probes coming out of various places around her blue hospital gown. She looked still as a corpse and Angela brought a shaky hand to her mouth.

Jane lay on the very edge of the bed next to her garbed in the black medical examiner's scrubs. Her hand clamped onto Maura's and as they both slept, Angela could see dried trails of tears streaked down her daughters face. Every once in a while a new fresh one would roll down her cheek, even while she slept. Angela couldn't breathe as she stepped back out of the room to compose herself.

He joined her out in the hall. "Angie?"

"What happened?" she gasped.

"I really can't talk about it." He said as he put a hand on her shoulder.

She knocked it away, "Forget about all of that investigation crap and tell me what happened to my family!"

He sighed heavily. He shouldn't do this but he hated to see her hurting like this. "Someone tried to kill them, Angie."

She put her hand back to her mouth, "Oh my god." She whispered.

"Agent Dean was killed and as far as we can tell Maura took two shots in the back protecting Alexis."

"Who would do such a thing?" She turned to look at the door and then back to Sean. "Who would want to kill a sweet girl like Alexis?"

"I don't know, babe." He said as he pulled her into his arms. "I'll find out, Angie. I'll find out."

She stayed there for a few minutes before she nodded subtly and adjusted the shoulder strap of the gym bag she was carrying. He let her go slowly and kissed her on her forehead before he let go completely. Angela took a breath to steady herself and stepped inside again.

Nothing had changed, Maura was still in a coma and Jane was still next to her asleep. She quietly walked over to the bed and gently kissed Maura's brow. She patted her cheek gently before she reached for Jane. She lifted a stray lock of hair and gently hooked it behind her hear before she ran a hand through her daughters curly black hair.

"Janie?" she whispered.

Jane stirred slightly and opened her eyes to see her mother looking down at her. She had a hint of a smile until she saw Maura again. Her face turned sad and fresh tears began again.

"I should have been there." She said, "I should have been with her."

"Janie" her mother cooed. "You can't be with her all the time, you know that."

Angela stroked her daughter gently and it was a soothing gesture that Jane didn't push away. That alone spoke volumes about what her daughter was feeling. Not that she needed volumes. Whenever Maura had been in danger, Jane's feeling and emotions were always plainly visible.

Jane buried her face in her girlfriend's honey blond locks. "I love you, Maura."

"Janie?" Angela said softly.

She lifted her head to look at her mother.

"You need to go home and clean up."

"I can't leave her, Ma." Jane said defiantly, "She never left me here alone."

"Never alone but she did go home to clean up." Angela said and ran her hand through her daughter's hair, "She went home once a day because she didn't want you to know how worried she was about you and she made sure someone was always here for you." but she didn't mention that it took her four days to convince Maura. "I'll stay."

Jane gently eased her legs off of Maura's bed and slowly stood up. "What time is it?"

Angela looked at her watch, "9:am on Christmas Eve."

"Oh shit!" Jane dumped her head in her hands. "I got to go get Liv from the Airport."

She looked back at her girlfriend, "I can't leave her that long. Where's Kate?"

"She's with Sean and Rick," Angela frowned, "He needs to know why this happened."

Jane turned away from her mother and bit her lower lip before she turned back to her mother.

"Someone needs to pick up Liv and I don't want Maura here alone."

"I'll stay with her Aunt Jane." Alexis said from the door.

Jane looked at her. "You hate her!"

Alexis flinched at the words, "No. I was angry." She walked up to Maura's bed and took the blonds hand, "I was jealous of her, of how much time you spend together."

She turned hurt eyes to her Aunt, "You used to check on me every night before bed. Spend hours watching me do homework. Always made me feel how much you loved me." Tears slid down her cheek as she looked at Maura, "and she came back and you weren't there anymore. I was jealous."

Jane stared at her in disbelief.

"I love you Aunt Jane and I was jealous." The sadness in her voice pierced Jane's heart. "And then she did something I can't understand."

Alexis leaned into Maura, "Why did you do it Maura? I've been nothing but an ass to you. Why did you protect me? Why did you take those bullets for me? I'm not worth it."

The words shook her to her core and Jane stomped around the bed and pulled Alexis into her arms. "Oh, baby girl." She felt Alexis shake with her quiet sobs, "She did that to save your life because you are worth it."

"NO I'M NOT!" her voice muffled against Jane's shirt, "You love her so much and I was screwing with that out of petty fucking jealousy."

"Baby, don't use that language," Angela's arched a brow at her daughter's words, "Your so much better than that. You don't even know how precious you are to Kate and your dad and to me. How precious you are to Maura."

"She hate's me, she has to after all that ive done."

"Baby girl, she loves you." Jane said as she stoked the red locks, "She told me that she could never hate you and that all she wants is to be your friend. If this is anyone's fault, it's mine."

Alexis pushed away from her, "How could it be your fault?"

Jane wiped Alexis' face gently with her thumb, "Your right. I wasn't there. I was so hung up on Maura that I forgot all about your needs and I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault." Alexis shouted, "It's mine. I should have told you all those times you asked me."

A head shake, "No I should have known. You were there when I needed you and when you needed me, I let you down."

Angela finally stepped in and wrapped her arms around both of them, "You both made mistakes. It happens. But we're family and we learn from our mistakes and move on." Angela looked at Jane and Alexis in turn, "Just forgive each other and remember to show how much you love each other. That's what family does."

Jane hugged her mother as did Alexis. She looked down at the girl, "See, that's why she's Nonna."

* * *

Logan International Airport was a mess of people. Such things were expected around holidays especially Christmas eve. Kennedy certainly had been worse when she had gotten on the commuter to Boston, and now that she had her luggage and was standing on the arrivals curb looking for one of her dearest friends, she couldn't help but notice the throngs of people piling into cabs and busses and a few limos.

She set her carryon bag on the half frozen cement and pulled out her phone. Turning it on, she had no missed calls so she dialed Jane and got her voicemail.

"Jane? It's Liv, I'm in Boston at the Airport. Call me back so I know where to meet you." She hung up and looked around some more.

She wished that she had gotten Maura's Beacon Hill address.

As she stood waiting for either a friend or a phone call she began to get worried. A blue Prius pulled up to the curb and rolled down the window.

The older woman leaned over, "Are you Janie's friend from New York?"

Liv blinked, "Janie?"

"Jane Rizzoli, my daughter." She said with a smile, "She sent me to get her friend Liv."

She nodded, "I'm Olivia Benson." She picked up her bag and set it in the back seat.

"Angela Rizzoli." She said as Liv climbed in.

"I'll take you over to Maura's first then over to Janie and Katie." She said as she pulled out into traffic and headed back to Boston.

"How did you know who I am?" she asked curiously.

"Janie's description of you was pretty specific and it made you easy to find."

"I'm almost afraid to ask?"

Angela smiled, "Tall like her with broader shoulders, gorgeous with reddish brown hair. 'Liv will probably standing alone with a New York F-Off attitude'. She also said that you have a certain look that is unmistakable."

Liv looked down at her clothing, "I have an unmistakable look?"

"Sweetie," Angela said as she drove over the bridge, "You look tough. Like Katie and Janie look tough. You girls just scream cops."

Liv laughed heartedly, "Okay, so where are Katie and Janie, now?"

Angela's grin fell into a sad frown, "There at the hospital. Maura and Rick were attacked."

Brown eyes widened, "What happened?"

Angela wiped her face and started to tell her everything she knew.

* * *

Jane came back freshly showered and finally in some clean clothes although her nerves were shot for the hour it took her to get back to the hospital. She had driven her mother crazy with her constant whining and complaining about how she should be with Maura. That she never should have left the hospital. Angela had shown patience with her daughter that Jane had never seen before and reassured her that even when she was in the hospital, Maura had left from time to time to freshen up. Wanting to look good for when Jane woke up, so she wouldn't know how worried Maura had been.

Angela had left Jane at the hospital entrance and said she would park the car and be up shortly. So Jane found herself riding the elevator alone. The doors opened before her floor and Paddy Doyle stood there staring at her, his eyes angry. Jane's eyes locked on him and she felt _it_ stir slightly.

"What are you doing here?" She said coldly.

Paddy stepped into the elevator and pushed the button for Maura's floor. He stood next to her but didn't take his eyes of her, "My daughter was shot. I know that the young lady killed the man who shot her but he was a hired gun. I want the name of the one who hired him." He said simply.

"Get in line, Doyle." She said, "He's mine and my partner gets seconds."

There was something in the way she said that and the look in her eyes that told him Jane was deadly serious, "Stepping outside of the law endangers you and Maura. Let me handle it, keep your hands clean."

She turned on him, "She's my girlfriend and I'm the one who will bring the fucker down."

Paddy glared at her and relaxed a bit, "So it finally happened."

"What?" she said through clenched teeth,

"You and Maura." He said, "It was only a matter of time I guess."

Jane shoved him, "You don't get to speak about us!"

He glared at her, "Anyone else would be dead right now."

"Try it, Doyle." She said, "Give me a decent reason." When he didn't say anything she added "Please?"

The doors parted and Paddy got out and immediately walked across the hall into an unoccupied room. Jane glared as he held the door for her. She silently walked into the room and he shut the door.

Paddy looked down at the fiery Italian who had somehow made his daughter happy and whole. He hated that it was a woman his daughter had fallen for but whatever made her happy was enough for him.

"You told me that you would protect her." He glared and stepped into her space, "I know what happened last night. It should have been you driving her to the police station."

Jane glared up at him and her darker side surged within her, but not out of a desire to be used. She felt its cold embrace and it was calming, soothing. Jane nearly shivered at its touch. But she held her ground.

"I know that Doyle." She said with no emotion what so ever, "And don't think that it doesn't haunt me for even one second because I would give anything to be the one in that bed instead of her."

He nodded, "That is the reason you're still breathing, Jane. I know what that feeling is like and I know it's tearing you up inside. I seen it last night when I came to check on Maura and found you next to her."

Jane's eyes narrowed dangerously.

"You need not worry, Jane. I won't tell." He said, "I couldn't let anyone know either."

"How thoughtful." She growled, "Where should I send the wedding invitation to?"

"Funny." He chuckled, "I'll settle for a gift in the form of a name."

"It's mine and so is he." She said sharply and turned toward the door.

"I know how these things work." He said as he put a hand on her shoulder. She turned to look at it. "They won't stop until you and she are dead. I can get to him and I have no rulebook to follow."

Jane knocked his hand off her and stepped within a foot of Paddy and looked straight up at him. He was impressed that she could be intimidating despite their height difference. She was easily a head shorter than him.

"Well, Daddy Dearest." She said sarcastically, "When I figure out the whole thing, I'll keep your suggestion in mind. But until then, I'll keep the name of my suspects to myself."

She turned and walked away.

Paddy called out to her, "Whatever you need all you have to do is ask."

Jane's smart ass remark, "A man on the door would be nice."

Paddy nodded and headed away from her, "Tell Castle I'm a big fan of his unpublished work. It's very insightful."

Jane froze, _No freaking way!_ She spun around but Doyle was gone.

* * *

She came back to the room to find Kate sitting with Maura. She was talking to her as if Maura was wide awake and listening.

"I got a really good deal on it and I think she'll love it but you can't tell her. I know you can't lie so just tell her that I said it's a surprise and you promised you wouldn't tell her, okay?"

Jane smiled. Kate was already conspiring with her girlfriend. She knocked as she walked in.

Kate's head snapped to her, "If you've been there long enough to hear what I said, I'm talking it back."

"I missed it but not by much." She said, "If you got me a wedding dress or crib or something else domestic, send it back now because that one is hard to please." She dipped her head to Maura.

She laughed "Nothing domestic and it's a surprise." She turned to the blond, "Right?"

Jane smiled, "Where's Alexis?"

"She's with Cavanaugh giving a statement to Korsak." Kate lost some of her ease, "Crowe was the initial investigator but Cavanaugh wouldn't let him near her."

Jane shuttered at Crowe trying to interrogate Alexis. "She's going to need help dealing with killing that guy."

"I know." She said, "She was in total shock, Jane. She kept calling me Momma."

Jane stood in silence and Kate matched it.

Alexis was nineteen and should never have had to pull the trigger on someone. Jane was grateful the she had but she shouldn't have to know what it's like to kill. The thought brought her back to the situation. Her anger rose sharply.

"This has to stop." Jane said through clenched teeth.

Kate's expression matched hers, "Yes it does."

"He comes after us, tries to kill us, hurts out family, and nothing happens to him."

"That needs to change, right now." Kate said sharply, "Whatever it takes."

Jane looked to her partner, "Can you give up getting Justice for your mother, because I'm not sure I could." She looked to her lover, "and this isn't something I can let go."

Kate fingered the ring on her left hand, "I can't let it go either but we don't have to."

Jane nodded, "He needs to know we can get to him too. I just had an interesting conversation with Maura's biological father."

"How interesting?" Kate asked upon seeing the evil look in Jane's eyes. "Am I going to like it?"

Jane's grin got cocky, "I think so. Wait till Liv gets here and were going to take a road trip."

_Oh if she's grinning like that. It's got to be diabolical._ Kate could almost taste the revenge already.

* * *

About 7:30 that night, Leon Crosby paced seductively along First Avenue near the Mid-Town Tunnel. He knew that it was risky being out here tonight but he felt confident that the new satin red dress he was wearing with the six inch stilettos and black wig would attract a few big money tricks in this part of Manhattan.

He had just about gotten to the tunnel when he heard a cop car whelp at him. He turned to see a black Impala with hidden lights flashing at him come to a stop across the street and the one person he didn't want to see got out the passenger sid.

"Leon." Jane Rizzoli shouted at Beckett rolled down the driver's side window. "I thought I told you to get the hell out of Manhattan."

He scoffed, cocked a hip and held his lit cigarette in a feminine fashion. "You said to get out of 12th Precinct and, baby, this isn't the 12th." His voice was said with a slight lisp meets Bronx nasal.

Beckett laughed, "Told you he'd never leave the borough."

"Look, I thought we had an arrangement." He said taking a drag off his cigarette, "I give you info and you leave me alone outside of 12."

Jane smirked, "Yep, but now I got a job for you."

"Look babe, I'm trying to make a living here." He said, "And I don't blow cops or in your case lick."

Jane rested her arms on the roof with a grin plastered to her face, "There's sucking involved but no dicks, no clits. Now pitch the smoke and get your gay ass in the car or I'll drop your location to Blakely. You know how much he likes cross dressing working girls."

Leon groaned and dropped the cigarette on the sidewalk and stepped on it, "Rizzoli, you're going to make me broke."

"Just get in the car. I got a hundred fifty for the job." She smacked the roof and climbed back in the car.

Beckett started cracking up at Leon's ass shaking strut. "Dude in a dress walks better than I do."

He opened the back door and sat down in the leather seats and shut the door.

"Look at this, you bitches moved up in the department." He rubbed a hand over the leather, "Nice."

Jane turned around, "Don't get anything on my seats or I'll make you lick whatever it is off."

He laughed, "NYPD issue or did you buy this thing?"

Kate looked in the rear view mirror as she drove, "Jane's doctor girlfriend bought it for her so you better not fuck it up."

He nodded, "So what's the job?"

Jane smiled, "Just a little vampire action."

"That better not be some sick cop thing about that time of the month or I'm outta here."

"Really?" Jane scoffed, "Leon when have I ever asked you to do something that sick?"

"Last week." He dead panned. "If I wasn't so high right now, I'd remember what it was."

Jane scoffed, "Right."

Kate turned into the Manhattan Bridge and crossed into Brooklyn where she promptly turned around, got onto I-287 and headed south.

"Jesus Christ," Leon said, "Where the hell are you taking me?"

Jane and Kate exchanged a look he didn't like before Jane turned to him, "Leon, my friend. You get to work on Staten Island tonight."

"A high class place for a high class client and getting paid top dollar." Kate added.

"A hundred and fifty bucks ain't exactly top dollar, Beckett." He griped.

* * *

Half an hour later they parked on the side street of a very nice neighborhood. Kate and Jane were focused two houses down and across the street. They settled in and Jane handed back a doughnut to Leon.

"If I gotta sit here and wait all night I need more to cover my expenses." He griped.

"I'll throw in another hundred, Leon." Kate said. "But I need you to just chill for a bit and stay out of sight."

Jane nodded to Kate and they both got out of the car and walked towards the house. A quick glance in the windows showed everything they needed. Kate nodded and Jane headed off to the garage. As she passed the motion sensor, the driveway lit up. She smiled as she edged around the black Lincoln and crouched behind it.

Kate came up next to the house and made the call. It rang twice and was answered.

_"__Hello?"_ the younger man said.

"This is Kate Beckett and I need to talk to that fucktard Senator you call a boss."

_"__Well you'll get over your disappointment, its Christmas Eve and the Senator isn't available."_

Kate snarled into the phone. "Yeah, it's Christmas Eve and I'm sitting in a hospital because of him. You call him at home, Jimbo, and have him call me back in ten minutes or I'll take the Joanna Beckett file over to CNN."

She disconnected and Jane gave her a "thumbs up".

Kate pulled her weapon and so did Jane. They waited as fresh snow fell from the heavens. It only took a minute before the Lincoln was remote started. Jane grinned as Kate eased away from the driveway.

William Bracken came out of his home a few minutes later and as he got to the car, Jane popped up, leveling her pistol at him. He froze as she felt another gun being shoved into his back.

"Waiting for the last minute, Bill?" Kate said coldly. "Get in the car."

He looked murderously at Rizzoli. "And if I don't want to?"

"Then I'll come over there and knock you out and drag you into the car."

He glared at her before he opened the door. Jane opened the rear Passenger door and slid in, her gun never wavering as he slid behind the wheel.

"Ever since you sent Murphy after me, I kept this thing loaded with Hydra Shok hollow points." She glared at him. "I'm still interested in finding out if the mess is as big as I've heard so I wouldn't try anything."

Kate leaned in and nudged his head, "Don't worry, Senator. We don't have any plans on killing you."

"Tonight." Jane amended. "But if you're a good boy then you'll be home in about an hour."

"See we just want to strike a new deal." It was an insidious grin that Kate was wearing.

"But we need a quiet place to talk and we wanted a face to face." Jane chuckled.

William Bracken had never been so nervous in his life as the largest threat to his career had now come to his home. These two women had every reason to kill him and he had walked right into them. He nodded to Beckett and she shut the door.

"One twitch and I'll pay you back for Joanna Beckett and Maura Isles." Jane whispered in his ear.

He nodded slowly as he put the car in reverse. "Where are we going?"

"Staten Island Mall sounds good." Jane said. "Nobody there on Christmas Eve."

"Then what?" he asked.

"We talk, we agree, and we walk away." Jane said smugly.

He turned toward the mall and noticed the black Impala following them. When they reached the mall, Jane directed him to park under a light. As he put the car in park he felt the barrel pressed into his head again.

The impala pulled up on the passenger side and Kate got out, drew her gun and promptly sat herself in the passenger seat of Brackens Lincoln.

She placed the barrel right to his temple. "See, here's the thing. Jane and I don't like being hunted."

"We like to be the hunters." Jane said calmly.

Kate pressed the barrel harder, "Rick Castle is in the hospital with broken legs, broken ribs from your little car accident."

"And Maura Isles is in a medical induced coma from two gunshot wounds to the back." Jane pushed harder.

"Let's not forget about the deaths of Detective Frost or FBI Agent Dean." Kate said through clenched teeth.

"Or that your man was killed by Alexis Castle emptying Dean's 40 Cal into him." Jane yanked his hair slightly. "Probably traumatizing her for life."

"You've had a very productive experience this time." Kate said coldly, "Two accidents and a shooting."

"What the hell are you talking about?" He said sharply. "I don't know anything about these people."

Jane slid her gun away from his head and visibly racked it in front of him before she pointed it menacingly at his genitals. "Funny thing is that ever since I came out of the closet, I have absolutely no use for a penis at all."

Kate nodded as she eased closer to Bracken, "If I have to hear one more story about you don't know, I'll let her shoot it off."

"Senator William Bracken brought in to St John's on Staten island for being shot in the dick. That's an NBC wet dream right there." Jane said with no emotion what so ever.

Bracken was beginning to sweat as he glanced in the mirror and saw the deadly look from Rizzoli. Her eyes were dark as night and her face could have been carved from marble.

He looked to Beckett and saw nothing but anger. He knew this could end badly for him. He nodded slowly.

"Frost and Castle were not part of the deal." He said and his voice was shaking as were his hands on the wheel. "I don't know anything about it."

Jane's phone rang. She pulled her gun back and pressed it into his neck as she used her free hand to answer the phone. Kate covered Bracken's mouth.

"Rizzoli."

_"__Jane, its Korsak."_

"Hey, what do you got?" She said calmly.

_"__We found the guy from Frost's accident scene. Got a positive ID from the intersection camera and we picked him up." _Korsak hesitated._ "__He was drunk, Jane. We arrested him and he confessed before we even had a chance to book him that he'd been drinking at the Beantown Pub since 2:30 pm. We checked his story out and tracked him through traffic cams right up to the collision."_

"Frost was killed in a DUI?" She said softly.

_"__I'm sorry Jane."_ He said.

Jane hung up and took a deep breath before looking to her partner, "Frost and Castle were hit by a Drunk Driver. BPD already got him."

Kate leaned back and closed her eyes for a second.

"Then I guess we'll be parting company." Bracken said.

Jane shoved her pistol into his brain stem, "Maura wasn't hit by a DUI and she almost died trying to save Alexis from bullets you asshole and that is all on you."

Kate put her gun back to his temple, "You're off the hook for Castle and Frost only. You still have to answer for Isles and Alexis."

"Gabriel Dean and Joanna Beckett." Jane said. "We haven't forgotten about that either."

"What are you going to do?" He asked trying to stay calm as sweat rolled down his head.

"You are going to stop hunting us and our family, or else." Kate said coldly.

"Or else what?" He said smartly, "This whole stunt here tells me that you don't have enough evidence to press charges."

Jane leaned in to his ear, "Not for a court of law, no." she said, "But here is where you just fucked up royally."

Kate leaned in too, "Maura Isles is Patty Doyle's only living child. You shot the daughter of an Irish mob boss."

"A mob boss who went to jail for killing a man who _tried_ to kill his daughter. He later walked on the charge due to a lack of testimony." Jane said.

"He killed off enough witnesses to walk." Kate added.

"And I can assure you that my future father-in-law is very upset over this. He wants the name of the man who hired the gun man."

Kate tipped her head down at Bracken and he shifted nervously, "Paddy has already told Alexis that she can have anything she wants for putting down the man who shot his baby girl." Her poker face was flawless.

"He told me that he'd give me anyone or anything I wanted for that name." Jane said with a tight smile. "Imagine what fun he'd have with you."

Kate grinned, "Come near us or our family again and I can quite easily see an ice pick in your future."

Bracken looked over at Kate. "You drop the Beckett case." He looked into the rearview mirror, "You go back to Boston and stay there."

A glance between them,

"No deal." Jane said.

"Not going to happen," Kate affirmed.

"If were brokering a deal then you need to give up something too."

Jane got that look in her eye again. Kate saw an idea forming.

"Okay, then here is what we're willing to give up." Jane shot Kate a glance, _Trust me._

Kate nodded, _with my life._

"I'm listening," he said calmly.

"Neither Kate or I, nor anyone that we work with or are related to will pursue the murder of Joanna Beckett any more. But we can't take any responsibility for anyone else." Jane said.

Kate didn't like it but she did trust Jane. "If it draws another investigator than it's not our fault."

"But Kate and I are never going to stop being partners." Jane said. "You don't get to make that call."

"Ever." Kate said.

"Fine but that also includes your group of friends from LETO." He said and he was carefully watching their reactions.

Kate blinked but Jane didn't react at all.

"Done." Jane said.

Kate took a deep breath and nodded, "Deal."

Bracken nodded, "Agreed. We have an accord. Now get the hell out of my car."

"Oh no." Kate shook her head vigorously, "We're not done here."

"You see," Jane said as she slid her weapon back into its holster, "You have one other charge you have to answer for."

"What charge is that?" He said in confusion.

"Well since you didn't have anything to do with Castle's accident, I guess this is all you, Jane."

Jane leaned in close, "I was going to propose to Maura on Christmas day. It would have made my mother so happy."

She pulled a Taser out of her pocket and pressed it to Bracken's neck, "You fucked up my Christmas so it's only fair that I fuck up yours."

His eyes widened at the evil look in her eyes.

"You just flipped the Bitch Switch, so hold on tight and enjoy the ride, Asshole." She hit the button and he slumped over.

* * *

Bracken came awake in the back seat of his Lincoln Town Car feeling nearly frozen. He eased himself up and looked around. Nearly an inch of snow had fallen on his car and it had been shut off but the key was still in the ignition. He checked to see if his wallet and phone were still on him, they were.

Rizzoli had stun gunned him. He remembered the strange sizzling sensation. He got out of the back seat and looked himself over.

_She must have been fucking with me._ He growled low and was determined to fuck that cunt up until he remembered what they said about Paddy Doyle. He was going to have to look further into that. He scratched his chin and thought it best to wait until later to dig into Maura Isles history and Genealogy. He checked his watch, he'd been out for about an hour. Two hours since he left home. If he headed back now, his wife wouldn't think much about it.

He climbed in to the Lincoln and drove back to the house. He pulled into the driveway and after locking the car he headed inside. His wife was at the table and she leveled an angry glare at him.

"You son of a bitch!" She shouted, "It's Christmas Eve and you leave your family to run off with a couple of whores."

"What are you talking about," he said, "I had a business call I had to take. I told you that."

She slapped him hard, "a business call!?" She snatched a napkin off the table and rubbed at his neck. She came away with two different shades of bright red lipstick and showed it to him. "More like business with a call girl."

He stared at the lipstick. He opened his mouth and his wife shoved the napkin in his mouth. He spit it out and glared as his wife walked away. "You pocket dialed me, you ass hole. I heard two different women talking dirty to you, Lick me there Senator. Oh push it harder Senator. Fuck her harder. You were grunting with them."

He growled low. Rizzoli had set him up. Put lipstick on his neck, called his wife on his phone. He was going to have to do some seriously fast talking to get himself out of this. He stalked away to the bedroom. His wife was packing some clothes into a suitcase has he came in.

"You're leaving?" he knocked the suitcase across the room, "You can't leave until I have a chance to explain." He pulled off his shirt and his wife gasped. He stopped as her face turned red with fury.

"I think you just did." She stalked out of the room, "Go to hell, Bill."

He looked at his chest to find eight red claw marks, four on each side running across the meat of his chest. He went into the bathroom and a quick glance found another set of claws and two sets of finger print bruises on his back. But what stunned him the most was the large angry red Hickey on his neck.

He saw red as he realized that Rizzoli was true to her word. She fucked up his Christmas.


	25. Chapter 25

**A/N: wake up. Ok so I've been caught up in places I don't want to be waiting for things I don't want and have had a bunch of time to do this so all the chapters are done and here we go. I'll post them soon.**

* * *

It was dark, so dark and she felt like she was suffocating. She tried to open her eyes and couldn't. Something had been shoved into her mouth and she felt like she couldn't breathe. But she felt her chest moving. The air in her lungs was being forced in and then sucked out. A wave of panic washed through her. She couldn't move and she couldn't fight the power that was moving the air, it felt like something was breathing but her own lungs couldn't fight it. She tried to move her head, to force the thing away from her mouth. But no matter what, it stayed there.

She heard voices.

A lot of voices and was that a bell she had just heard?

She felt like she was choking and she tried to shake her head. Her hand was moving now. She was against some kind of pad. She felt a metal bar not far away and then her hand was seized. She tried to jerk away but the hand wouldn't let go. She fought it until she felt a ridge on the hand.

She stopped struggling and felt the ridge. Not a ridge, _A SCAR!_ She traced it with her thumb and knew the shapes and indentations intimately.

_JANE!_ She clutched the hand with everything she had and started to reach out with her other one. Another hand took it gently, she felt for the other scar and couldn't find it. The hand was too small to be Jane's.

She felt hands all over her then, turning her and she struggled. A pain shot through her shoulder and side and she jerked. More pain and Jane's hand was joined by a second one, the palm had rough spot and she knew that it was Jane's as well. Once on her back she tried to open her eyes and found it too bright. It was blinding to see.

Voices were becoming clearer now. "…don't fight us Doctor… relax…"

Then she heard Jane's voice. "Calm down, baby. I'm here but you have to stop fighting."

She wanted to ignore her but the urgency in Jane's voice was scaring her.

She looked to Jane's blur in a panic. She tried to speak but nothing happened. She gripped Jane and tried to fight.

"Dr. Isles. Stop!" a man said, she didn't know him and ignored him as she realized that something was in her mouth and reaching down her esophagus. She saw Jane lean over, directly into her view.

"Maura!" she said urgently causing her to stop fighting, "Your Intubated! Relax and the Doctor will remove it."

Maura felt a snap near her mouth and she could breathe on her own. _Intubated! They just removed the Ventilator hose._ She looked into Jane's eyes and nodded slightly.

Jane looked over, "Okay, She gets it now."

A man she didn't recognize took over her view. "Okay, Dr. Isles. I'm going to remove the tube and I need you to cough for me."

She nodded slightly again.

"Okay, Cough." She tried and it didn't work. She felt a wave of panic, and he nodded, "It's okay. Try again."

He gently tugged at the tube in her mouth and she managed a weak cough. Her lungs felt like they were on fire and as the tube came out she felt like it was taking her wind pipe with it.

She gaged as the new air entered her lungs. She felt fluid start running to her lungs and she coughed again, this time louder. The Doctor produced a kidney pan and she was rolled back onto her side. She coughed up some fluid into the pan and finally took a deep breath. She wished she hadn't as she began violently coughing.

Jane had a hold of her and even though she felt like she couldn't breathe, she knew that Jane was there and she'd be safe. As the coughing subsided, her throat began to burn with thirst. Jane already had an ice chip in her hand, remembering how she had felt when they pulled that same thing out of her. She placed it to Maura's lip and the blond accepted it.

It was cold, too cold, but the thirst was harsher than the temperature. She swallowed as the water pooled into her mouth. It only took a minute for the chip to melt and Jane had another one ready. She gratefully accepted it and sucked the meltings into her throat. When Jane offered a third chip, Maura pinched her lips and Jane took it away.

She breathed in Jane's lavender scent and sighed in relief. She felt dizzy as the doctor hovered over her. Jane tried to back up but Maura had a death grip on her hand.

"Sorry Doc," She said, "But we've become something of an anchor for each other. You're going to have to work around me."

She heard Angela's voice from farther away. "…same way when Janie was in that bed."

He muttered something and shined a bright light into her eyes, She blinked as the light seared her corneas. "Dr. Isles, My na… Dr. Granger. Until I've expl… your condition… need you… remain… still as… Can you… that?" She was trying to follow what he was saying but she couldn't remain focused.

He spun off a bunch of medical terms that she should know but her head was still fuzzy.

_Penetrated. Perforated what? Lucky? Jane is scared? What? _She clamped tighter onto Jane's hand and eased her head away.

"Doc," Jane said, "I don't think she's following you. Could you give her a few to wake up? Sleeping Beauty here has had a really long nap."

She couldn't focus on anything but Jane's voice. _Sleeping Beauty? The fairy tale princes who was killed by Maleficent and was reanimated by the Prince's kiss? Why would she compare me to that?_ Before she could contemplate that, she felt the smaller hand squeeze her other one. She turned her head slightly to look and felt a searing pain rack her body near her shoulder. She shuttered.

Jane caught the movement and the look on her lover's face and motioned to someone. She felt her hand held up near her head and she realized that the hand holding hers was smaller. She blinked and tilted her head gingerly to avoid the pain and found a mass of red curls bending over her. Her hand was brought to Alexis' lips and she saw the tears coming out of the girls eyes.

She was speaking but Maura couldn't make sense of it. Jane's voice penetrated the fog again, "its okay, baby girl, just give her a minute."

Maura squeezed the young girls hand tightly and then let go. Alexis kissed it again and gently set the hand down and eased out of view. She felt so tired.

"She's been here the whole time. Wouldn't let you go." Jane said with a smile.

Maura tried to speak but nothing came out but an odd croak.

"Baby, don't speak." Jane said softly, "Just get your bearings first."

She remembered the dream she had, Jane's words. Was it real or was it just a dream. She gently stretched her free hand toward Jane. Jane eased back to look behind her and Maura weakly wiggled a come here finger. Jane stepped closer and Maura touched her lover in the abdomen, lower than the entry scar. Jane watched her carefully as Maura eased her hand back to her own stomach and touched it.

Jane giggled, "Of course you heard that, didn't you?"

Angela said something and Jane smiled, "Maura said I promised to get her pregnant."

Maura nodded slightly. _It wasn't a dream._

Some happy sounds echoed around the room as Jane knelt down next to her.

"Okay, but you're carrying." She whispered huskily with a grin.

Maura smiled slightly and blackness took her again.

* * *

She was dreaming again. She was in bed and Jane was snuggled up next to her, she could swear that she felt her girlfriend's ribs expanding and contracting with each breath and her belly felt warm. It was a pleasant dream but she felt herself waking up. She blinked her eyes open to a massive view of ebony curls that were completely untamed.

The scent of lavender filled her nose again and she breathed in Jane's unique scent. She lifted her head slightly and looked around the room. She found Rick and Kate snuggled into each other in a hospital bed across the room sound asleep. The two of them in such a small bed was actually kind of comical. She would have said something about it except the rest of the room looked very much like a hospital room. This led her to the conclusion that she too was in a hospital bed and Jane was lying next to her so the view had to be similar.

She rested her head back on the pillow and realized that she was lying on her side and she was spooning Jane.

A small smile curved her lips as she felt Jane's hand stroking hers. Maura gently withdrew her hand and spread it across Jane's stomach.

Jane gently turned over enough to look at Maura. She smiled warmly, a full grin that reached her eyes.

Maura smiled back and then she frowned. Her bladder was killing her.

"What's wrong, Baby?" Jane whispered.

"Pee." Her voice came out in a raspy tone not unlike Jane's.

Jane nodded, "That was my first coherent thought too, remember." She lowered the bar on the side of the bed and stood up. She cracked her back slightly and headed around the bed.

Maura felt the gentle push of Jane's hand on her back and she rolled over slightly. Two pillows were dropped in front of her and she heard the gentle clank of another bar.

"Careful," Jane said, "You're right on the edge." Jane helped her maneuver enough to sit up and then she gingerly helped her stand. "Don't move your left side or it'll hurt."

Jane slung Maura's right arm over her shoulder and put an arm around her hip. Maura tried to straighten and pain shot through her side. Jane grabbed her hand and held on tight as Maura gasped.

After a few seconds to recover, Jane led her to the bathroom and gently sat her on the toilet. Maura sighed in relief as she finally let go. A throaty moan escaped her throat.

Jane, who had been so utterly embarrassed at needing help to pee, washed her hands in the sink. "Betcha that felt good." She mocked playfully.

Maura just nodded in relief. She relaxed as the pressure subsided and as she finished she opened her eyes to find a wad of paper held up in front of her.

"Remember," Jane said, "Right side only."

Maura nodded as she took the paper.

Jane waited patiently while staring at the bathroom door until she heard Maura groan. She found her girlfriend trying to get up and gasping in pain. Jane gently helped her up and eased her to the sink where she washed both of Maura's hands, dried them, and then eased her back out of the bathroom.

It took a second to get to the bed and after a few grunts and groans, Maura was back in bed. Two pillows against the side rail of the bed kept her from falling. Jane tucked the blanket back around her to keep the chilly hospital air away from the open back of the blue gown.

Jane kissed her and disappeared. She heart the toilet flush and the sink ran again. Jane came back with a cup of water and a straw. Maura sighed in relief and smiled. Jane was so thoughtful. She sipped at the water and when the small cup was emptied, Jane sat it on the table and climbed back into bed. They lay facing each other as Jane gently stroked Maura's hair.

Maura closed her eyes and tried to remember what happened that would land her in the hospital. The sound of two gunshots pierced her mind and her eyes shot open.

"Alexis!" she gasped.

"She's okay." Jane said softly, "She didn't get hit."

"What happened?" her voice cracking, "there was a man, he tried to kill us."

Sad chocolate eyes met hazel, "You threw yourself around Alexis and he shot you twice. One bullet fractured your shoulder blade and the other one nicked your left lung. I got there too late to do anything. I thought I lost you, baby."

"Did Agent Dean stop him?" Maura asked.

Jane's face contorted in sadness, "Gabriel died, honey."

Maura looked at her, "No. He couldn't have died and saved us."

"Gabriel died fighting to get out of the car." Jane took Maura's hand into hers. "After you went down, Alexis grabbed his gun and emptied it into the guy."

Her heart ached at Jane's words, "oh my god. How is she?"

"She hasn't been the same and..." Jane said sadly, "She's not dealing with it. She spent all of her waking time here with you."

"She's." Maura sniffed a sob back, "She shouldn't…"

"I know." Jane said, "She refuses to talk about it until you wake up but she promised to talk to Kate and I about it as soon as she talks to you."

Maura nodded but she didn't know why the girl wanted to talk to her first. Alexis had never been that open with her despite her best intentions. She pushed the thought aside and stared at the most beautiful woman in the world, _her_ Jane.

Not being there for her must have eaten at the brunette the entire time she was unconscious. Suddenly the sleeping beauty remark came back to her.

"How long was I asleep?" she asked as Jane ran her fingers along Maura's side.

"Six days." Jane muttered in grief, "It's December 29th."

"No." shock creased her face, "I missed our first Christmas together."

"No you didn't." Jane said with a smile, "Ma said that we can't do Christmas until after you get out of here."

"Jane, Christmas mass has been a family tradition since before I met you. You've never missed midnight mass."

She ran a hand through her hair, "Well, your family too, Maur and we Rizzoli's don't leave our family behind and if you want to have _my_ baby, you'd better get used to the idea that you're a Rizzoli and have been for years."

"But I'm not." She said. "I'm like Angela's daughter but I'm not her daughter."

Kate kept her eyes closed and her head on Rick's chest as she called out, "Geez, Maura, just accept it. I'm a Rizzoli too, adopted about a year and a half ago. You were adopted long before that."

Jane grinned as Maura cringed that she'd been over heard. Rick chuckled softly, causing Kate's head to bounce. She smacked him lightly in the stomach, "Stop moving, I'm trying to sleep."

He chuckled harder. She groaned and opened one eye. "I'm going to pinch your nipple if you keep moving."

"I can't help it." He said with a snort, "She's a clueless genius."

Kate did chuckle at that, before she smacked him in the gut harder, "That's my sister-in-law-to-be that you're talking about."

Jane groaned but Maura caught the edge of her grin, "All that's missing is Ma here to tell me about wedding plans and stuff."

"She already has a copy of Brides Magazine in her purse." Kate said, "somehow I don't think it's for me and Rick."

"Rick and I." Jane and Maura said together.

Her head started bouncing again as Rick started laughing. Kate groaned and rose up on an elbow, "Oh god, it's like Jane in stereo." She got out of bed, "I am not looking forward to the family reunions." She continued to mumble unintelligibly until she shut the bathroom door.

Jane looked to Rick who was trying to keep a straight face but upon meeting her eyes, they cracked up. Maura watched as they seemed to share a moment of understanding before Jane turned back to her.

"She's been an only child all her life." Jane said into Maura's lips, "She's still getting used to it."

Maura pressed her lips into Jane's and her heart started racing. The heart monitor started beeping wildly.

"Hey, now." Kate said, "You're going to bring…"

A nurse bustled through the door and stopped short as Jane grinned at her.

"Um, yeah." she said in abject embarrassment.

A laugh erupted from Kate as she walked to a chair next to Castle's bed, "Yep. There a couple."

Crimson flushed the cheeks of the nurse as Maura kissed Jane's cheek. The heart monitor went wild again and the nurse put a hand over her mouth and rushed back out the door trying to hide her discomfort.

A tall man dressed in black stuck his head in and surveyed the room quickly before he held the door open for Frankie, Angela, and Alexis. Jane kissed Maura lightly before she stood up and nodded to the man.

He returned the nod and reclosed the door.

Maura was going to ask about him but before she could, Alexis ran over to her.

"Oh Maura!" She said as she grabbed hold of one of the blonde's hands, "How do you feel?"

"Better." She said as she cupped the young girl's face, "Especially, now that I know your fine."

"Maura, why did you do it?" She asked in earnestness, "Why did you protect me like that when you know what would happen if Aunt Jane lost you?"

She ran a hand through the girls red hair, still curled like Jane's, "Because I had to Alexis, I couldn't let him hurt you."

"But Aunt Jane would die without you!" she said, "You shouldn't have done that!"

Jane put a hand on her niece's shoulder, "I would have done the same thing, sweetie."

"You mean too much to each other to do that!" She shouted.

"But you mean more to us," Kate said as she stood up. "We all feel the same way, Alexis, because we love you."

"Honey," Angela said as she came over to hug the redhead, "You're young and you're special."

"You're like Maura," Jane said, "A very special person who can make a real difference in the world."

She looked around the room full of people, embarrassed by their confessions before her eyes settled on her father.

"Don't look at me," he said with that stupid smile, "I've been saying that since the day you were born."

Frankie nodded, "I don't even know you all that well and I can see it too."

She looked back to Maura, "but…"

"As Ange…" she stopped as she caught the look that the Rizzoli Matriarch passed her, "As Ma likes to say, no buts." She gripped Alexis's hand and looked her straight in her ocean blue eyes. "And at the risk of sounding pretentious, from now on you should call me Aunt Maura."

Angela's face slid into a wide grin at hearing the words.

Alexis blinked and she slowly leaned down to hug the blonde. Maura felt her shaking slightly and wrapped as much of herself as she could around her.

"I'm sorry." She heard quietly, "I'm so sorry for how I acted. I'm sorry."

Maura rubbed her back, something Jane had done numerous times when she cried. "I forgive you." She whispered too low to be heard by anyone but Jane.

Jane rested her hand on Alexis' back. "Okay, kiddo. You guys can have the heart to heart later. Right now you have a promise to keep."

She pulled back, and Maura met her gaze again. She tried to say something but Maura stopped her.

"You need to talk about it." She said, "It's not something you can keep inside."

Alexis nodded, realizing that Maura knew what had happened after she was shot.

"You want me or you want Kate."

She turned her eyes to Kate, "I want my…" she hesitated but the word wanted to come out. She took a breath and, "I want my Mom."

Maura stared in disbelief as Kate put an arm around the girl and smiled. Rick smiled again, this one crinkling around his eyes. Angela smiled as she opened and held the door for them.

"C'mon," she said, ushering her out the door, "We have a lot to talk about."

Alexis leaned tightly into her as she was led out.

"Wow," Frankie said to Castle, "Can you walk yet? Figure it's time the guys got out of here before we drown in estrogen."

"He's been over acting his injuries." Jane said, "Been trying to convince Kate that he needs doctoring."

He made a quiet cut throat gesture and laughed, "I like the Salisbury steak." He threw of the blanked and eased off of the bed and into a wheel chair.

Frankie laughed as Rick wheeled himself away from bed.

"C'mon, Frankie. Let's go find some coffee and doughnuts. You know it took me forever to shake that stereotype. I hardly ever see doughnuts at the 12th unless Jane brings them."

"HA!," Frankie barked, "I told you those New York cops ain't right. We should head over to BPD There's always doughnuts just about every mornin'."

The door shut, cutting of the conversation.

Jane sat on the bed next to Maura as Angela sat in the newly vacant chair.

"Where's Liv?" Jane asked.

"She's with Sean." She replied, "They were going to the station to talk with Vince."

Jane nodded.

"Jordan said that she released Gabriel's body to his family." She said sadly, "She's really upset about Barry." Jane's eyes snapped to her mother but Angela had her eyes focused on her lap in grief, "She had to call Dr. Macy to do the medical exam."

Maura jerked up right and the pane was immense but she refused to let go of what Angela said, "Barry is dead?"

She looked up then and when she met Jane's eyes she knew that her daughter hadn't told Maura yet.

Maura grabbed Jane's arm. "What happened to Barry?!"

Jane tried to calm her down, "Baby, you need to relax."

"NO, Jane!" she shouted, "Wen were you going to tell me?"

She looked into those hazel eyes and hated the pain and grief that was showing. She kept her voice calm and level, "After you've had a chance to take in everything else."

Maura opened her mouth but no words came. Grief filled her at the thought of the young energetic detective laid out on an autopsy table. She couldn't imagine a man so full of life, cold and pale on her table. He had been Jane's partner and as she looked at her, she could see her grief was matched.

"How? How did he die?" She asked softly.

Jane slipped her arms around her, "A drunk driver plowed into his car. Barry died in the collision and Rick was injured pretty bad 'cause he was with him."

As Maura started sobbing again, Angela took a seat next to them and gently wrapped them in a hug.

"I'm sorry, Maura." She said, "I'm sorry you had to find out like this."

Maura nodded as her good arm slid up Jane's back and grasped Angela's hand.


	26. Chapter 26

**I haven't seen the funeral episode so I'll dance around it. sorry but here it is anyway. Good note is that the belated Christmas party is here.**

* * *

Maura was released from the hospital less than a week later under the promise that she would receive continuing treatment from her doctor in New York City. The hospital didn't want to release her so soon but she wanted to attend the Funeral of Barry Frost. His eulogy was given by Frankie and Jordan and Woody had stepped up to say a few words as well.

The funeral was filled with mourners and respects were paid by fellow officers to the grieving mother and her wife. Admiral Frost was there too and despite his military barring it was clear that he was barely containing his sadness at the loss of his son. Like the Admiral, Jane tried to remain strong but she and Maura eventually leaned on Rick and Kate for strength as their grief overwhelmed them. Frankie took it the hardest as he and Barry had become best friends.

In his hand was the action figure Barry had given him the day he replaced Jane in Homicide. Frankie placed the action figure under Frost's arm and whispered, "Good bye, Bro."

Jane heard his voice give in and she took his arm. Frankie, never one to be so emotional had excused himself and disappeared to compose himself.

Jane had stepped away from the mourners to kneel at the altar. Maura gave her a minute as she bowed her head and recited a prayer for her former partner before she knelt next to her.

"I know that I am not a Christian, but I ask you to take the spirit of our beloved friend Barry into your care and deliver him from pain and sorrow eternally and that you keep him in joy and love as we remember how his life had enriched our own. In your name, I pray that he never forget our love and friendship for we will never forget his. We grieve for the loss of his company but know that we will never lose our love or adoration of his memory. I ask, though I am not a Christian, for my friend's peace in the hereafter. Amen."

She bowed her head low and as she started to rise she felt a hand on her shoulder. Jane held up a long match that was lit and placed it against the wick of a candle. The flame spread and Jane held the match up for Maura.

She nodded and took the flaming stick and lit the candle next to Jane's before blowing the match out gently.

Jane crossed herself before standing. Maura did the same.

Cavanaugh had sat with Angela and Jordan for the funeral and most of the wake as she recounted her fondest memories of Barry. From the time he showed up with Jane the first time to when he set up that blog for her that nearly got him fired. Jane too shared fond memories as did Maura. Jordan, Woody and Korsak told about things Barry had done while Jane had been in New York. Kate who had only met Barry a few times shared her thoughts on his queasiness about dead bodies when she found him launching his lunch behind a shrub so Jane wouldn't see him.

* * *

A few hours later found them sitting in Cavanaugh's living room around the pine tree Kate and Jane had so meticulously decorated after moving it from Maura's. It had taken Jordan and Angela a while to get Maura to sit with Jane and let them handle the details. Jordan had even tried pulled medical rank on her.

"Doctor's orders." She had stated simply.

"Not only am I a Doctor," Maura had replied while placing a wine bottle into her sling, "But I am the Doctor who hired you into my office."

"And then you resigned from said office," Jordan countered, "You're a professor and I am the Chief Medical Examiner. A position that I will gladly step down from the day you want it back but until then, go sit with your girlfriend on the couch and _relax_."

At that moment, Jane and Kate leapt from the couch shouting, screaming obscenities about referees, and throwing napkins and popcorn at the hockey game they were watching on the TV. Alexis was only a second behind them. Frankie, Rick and Korsak were laughing at the girls.

Maura put on a smiling face even though she was cringing inside at the mess they were making and turned back to Jordan, "So relaxing."

Jordan grinned, "Well, you don't have to sit in her lap, Maura. Now go. Listen to your elders." As she pushed her toward the living room, all the while Angela was laughing.

Maura heard Jordan scoff at Angela, "That's why I feel like I have to be the big sister. Jane, Kate, Maura, Frankie, and Tommy, their _all_ younger than I am."

"Yeah," Rick said as he sauntered into the kitchen, "That's how I feel most days."

"Like a big sister?" Jordan smirked.

"Too old to be in the crowd." He said as he refilled his wine from the bottle Jordan had taken off Maura, "Kate's ten years younger than I am."

A grin passed over her face when she looked at Angela as she stirred the gravy, "Cradle robber."

Rick glanced over to the dining room where Woody was setting the table. "Woody. How old are you?" He asked the younger man.

"Three years younger than Jordan." He said without looking up. "And I'm not about to cook my own goose by helping you out."

"Jordan, I'm impressed." Angela raised her eyebrows, "He's well trained."

"Not really." He looked at his fiancé, "I figured out when Jordan's dodging something and now I just go with it."

A glimmer of amusement shined in Jordan's face as Angela mouthed, "Very well trained."

Rick headed back with two beers and his wine. All the while making whipping sounds with his mouth.

Sean came out of the garage with Max, Jordan's father, in tow.

"I'm telling you, Sean. You can get better ride out of one of those old Deuces than you can out of that heap."

"Shh," he said as he pulled his brother to a stop. He glanced over to the living room and then leaned in to him, "It's not mine so keep your yap shut or you'll ruin the surprise."

"Oh." Max said to his little brother, "Who's it for then?"

Sean waved the question away as Olivia came in through the back door. She kicked the snow off her boots and yanked off her coat. She kicked of her boot and the other one followed it. Angela caught sight of her and immediately passed the Mashed potatoes to Jordan before bustling over.

"Oh sweetie," she said as she took the taller woman's coat, "Did your phone call not go well?"

"No." She said, "And I really don't want to talk about it."

Liv opened the fridge and after a quick peak turned to Sean. "You wouldn't happen to have any Stoli around would you?"

"Tell you what." He said, "Grab two beers and I'll meet you in the garage. There's something I wanted to talk to you about anyway."

She looked at him oddly but nodded.

A look to Max and he guided Liv out while Sean kissed Angela lightly and headed down the hall to his home office.

A minute later he kissed her again as he bee lined for the door with a small bottle of half drank whiskey.

"Now don't you be getting her into any trouble, buster." Angela said.

"No trouble, babe." He said, "Just cop talk."

She passed a look to Jordan and crept over to the now closed garage door. Jordan laughed and re whipped the potatoes. Woody tried his best to ignore what was going on and finally gave up.

He wrapped his arms around Jordan's waist and nuzzled her neck, "What's going on?"

"I think that's what Angela is trying to figure out." She said and ran a light smear of potatoes on his cheek.

He jumped back, "Oh Come on, Jordan. This is my best shirt."

She set the Mixer down, turned around and leaned in to him. "You look better without it." She said and then she licked the smear off him.

"HEY!" Jane shouted from the couch, "Get a room or something before you ruin a good dinner."

Jordan leaned over Woody's shoulder, "This from the woman who got caught with her girlfriend in the laundry room not two hours ago?"

Jane directed her attention back to the game, Maura tried to hide her blush in Jane's hair.

"Hey. Give them a break." Kate jumped in, "they've been in the hospital for two weeks."

Jordan leveled a finger at her, "Says the woman who was caught with her man in the bathroom three hours ago by her adoptive mother."

She turned back to the game too. Jordan let go of Woody and returned to the potatoes. Jane and Kate were shouting at the TV again, this time in celebration as the doorbell rang.

Angela tip-toed away from the garage door to answer it to find a very pretty young blonde in her early 20s with pouty lips and green eyes at the door.

"Can I help you?" she asked.

"Hi." The girl said, "Is Frankie here?"

She smiled warmly, "You must be Charlie!" She held the door open for her. "Come on in."

Charlie greeted everyone with a smile as she entered the full house of Sean Cavanaugh. Frankie immediately jumped to his feet and kissed her gently before introducing her to everyone.

Maura looked around at all the couples and when she caught sight of Vince sitting alone, she got up to visit him.

"Are you okay, Vince?" she asked sweetly.

"Sure," he said as he sipped his beer, "Why wouldn't I be?"

"Well I remember how I felt when I sat alone with a group of couples."

He choked on his next sip laughing, "I'm not alone."

She stared at him.

"I spent Christmas with Melody and Josh." He said, "And after Melody and I had a long talk, we got back together."

"Then she should be here with you." Maura said.

"Maura," he said as he patted her hand, "Its okay. She and Josh went to see her mother and with you in the hospital and Frost…" he lost his voice then.

She gently hugged him with her good arm. "It's okay. I'm sorry."

He patted her on the back, "Its okay. They made the plans months ago and Melody understood that I needed to say good bye." He wanted to tell her what he meant but he couldn't find the heart to tell all of them that he was retiring. It was too soon after Frost's passing.

She nodded to him, "Well even Barry thought you deserved happiness. I'm glad things worked out for you."

He nodded sadly, "I'm going to miss him. He always made me laugh." He stopped and smiled, "And think."

Maura hugged him tighter, "I miss him already."

He nodded and after a minute he pushed her away, "You and Jane should come back soon."

"We will," she said as she sat down next to him, "Jane and I are doing well in New York but Boston is our home and we both want to come home."

"Then what's keeping you?" He said, "Besides the usual inter department red tape?"

"Just that and also, Jane has something she and Kate are working on and it's important to Jane that they finish." She was referring to Kate's PTSD treatment and although she didn't know it, Jane's other side.

The front door opened and Tommy and Lydia came in carrying TJ.

Jane squealed and leapt of the couch for her brother and Nephew. She gave Tommy a quick hung and lifted TJ up form Lydia's arms.

"There's my little man." She said making goo-goo faces at the one year old.

Lydia smiled brightly and held her arms out to hug Jane.

Jane leveled an eye at her but it was Christmas and Lydia was family. Jane shifted TJ into one arm and held the other out. The short blond stepped in and Jane hugged her lightly.

"Merry Christmas, Lydia." She said.

"Merry Christmas, Jane." Her baby doll voice was like nails on a chalkboard to Jane but she swallowed her pride and promised herself that she'd be nice.

Jane smiled and ran off with TJ to show him off to her partner and her fiancé.

Maura came up next to them and held her arm out to Lydia, "Merry Christmas, Lydia."

Lydia beamed, "Merry Christmas, Maura."

A Quick hug later and Maura was facing Tommy. His look was not overly friendly. They hugged awkwardly and exchanged the pleasantries.

Tommy looked down at her, "So I hear you and Janie are like… together… as a couple."

Maura didn't like how he said that but she let all off her emotion show as she thought about her lover. Her face lit brighter than the tree on the wall.

"Jane has been so wonderful." She said and her voice was almost giddy, "I've never been happier with anyone. I really can't understand why we couldn't have figured it out years ago."

"So it's a serious, thing?" he asked, "Not just something you guys are doing to get Ma to let Janie come home?"

Maura opened her mouth in disbelief, "NO!" she said in shock, "Tommy! How could you say something like that?"

He shrugged, "I don't know, I just figured you two made up as friends and were trying to get Ma to lighten up."

Maura put a hand over her mouth, the hurt in her voice resonated in her words and even though Jane was on the other side of the room with her mother, she heard it.

"I'm in love with Jane." She said, "I've never had anyone make me feel the way I do when I'm with her."

He was about to say something more when Jane appeared at her side. Her hands gripped the honey blonde's face tenderly. Jane looked deep into those hazel eyes and saw the hurt Tommy's words had cause.

She gently grabbed a handful of honey blonde and kissed Maura with all the love and need she possessed and Maura responded instantly as her heart tripled its pace and her blood heated like fire as it raced through her body. Maura reveled in lightheaded delight as Jane claimed her mouth with her own.

All eyes in the house were on them as they wrapped themselves around each other.

The kiss wasn't sweet and it wasn't like the ownership Maura had done in front of Martinez. It was passionate and unbridled desire and as Maura soaked in Jane's warmth, she realized what they had done. Jane was fiercely claiming Maura in front of her entire extended family and Maura was willfully submitting to her as Jane's tongue danced with hers, and Jane's arms held her solidly but gently. Her arms were tight and all of her muscles were as ridged as steel but her touch was gentle and tender.

Lydia blushed at the display of love, protection and passion that was before her. Jane's very body was screaming with something that made her nervous but it was directed outward. Inside Jane's arms was comfort and safety and an unyielding love. It reminded her of the romance novel she had been reading in the car and she stood in awe. She never knew that kind of love could be real, nor did she ever think that she would see it between two women before.

Her own experience had been more of an experiment or a result of too much drink. Never had she thought lesbians could love like that.

Tommy stood frozen as he watched his older sister mauling Maura's mouth and what was worse was how tightly Maura was clutching to Jane. As if she needed that touch to breathe. She was latched tightly to Jane and equally enthralled with her as her lover was. Jane's actions had been almost bullish but the second their lips met it was as if they had become one. Both feeding and breathing from each other. It made him uncomfortable. Almost as much as when Maura separated her mouth from Jane's and nodded. His sister smiled and then she turned to him and as if a nap of lightning had washed it from her face, her eyes were fiercely protective and predatory.

Her eyes were dark and dangerous and Tommy took a step back.

"Maura is my love and no one is _ever_ going to make her cry in front of me, least of all my little brother." Her voice was eerily calm and it rung through Tommy's ears as if through a megaphone. "No one will hurt her without suffering my full attention. She belongs to me and more importantly, I belong to her."

Jane turned away from him and like someone pulled the plug on a lamp that angry viscous person who had just inhabited his sister was gone, replaced by the giddy teenager that he had grown up with.

Jane lead Maura away with a warm grin and Maura was equally as happy, as if she had forgotten all about Tommy.

Angela shook the vision out of her head and announced that dinner was being served.

Frankie came up behind him, "Nice job, Tommy." He said with Charlie hung sweetly on his arm. "You really know how to welcome your own sister home."

Charlie leaned into Frankie and he slid a protective arm around her as he guided her to a seat next to him. Kate glared at Tommy and he glared back.

"You're not family," He said spitefully.

She gave him an evil grin as she headed towards Rick. "Boy, I'm more family than you are right now."

"Tommy, Knock it off." Lydia said. "So what if they're both girls. They're in love, leave them be." She said as she too headed for the table.

Tommy sighed and ran a hand through his short black hair and ran his palms down his face. Jane being pissed at him was nothing new but now the whole family was pissed at him. He growled low in his throat and took a deep breath before heading to the feast on the table.

"Hey, Alexis, Go sit between your Aunt and your Ma." Jordan called out.

* * *

After dinner they all sat in the living room passing out gifts. TJ made out like a bandit with toys, clothes and all the things little boys need to drive parents and grandparents crazy.

Alexis got a brand new iPad for college and several legal and medical text books as well as a mountain of Jane Rizzoli and Kate Beckett styled clothes.

Jordan and Woody got several small items for their Charlestown apartment a small espresso machine like Maura's and because Jane hadn't really known what to get her, a Boston Red Sox jersey which Jordan loved.

Maura had signed the title over on her Prius to Angela and told her that it was paid off in full. Angela had squealed in delight and as a result tried to hug the breath out of her until Jane gently eased her away with a mild "Mine."

Korsak had been given a brand new sealable coffee cup and a fifty dollar gift card to his favorite pastry shop. He laughed whole heartedly as he had thanked them.

Tommy and Lydia were treated to a weekend spa of Maura's choosing as well as a promise from Angela and Jordan to watch TJ for the weekend as long as they promised to think about giving her another grandchild.

Jane had laughed at that and looked to Maura, "See, I told you one wouldn't be enough."

"Janie I want a house full of grandchildren." Angela said, "It's all I ever wanted and you better not forget the promise you made to Maura."

Tommy looked up from his son and his eyes bounced from Jane and Maura to his mother, "What promise?"

When Jane and Maur looked at each other and Jane bit her lip Maura looked sheepish before looking back to Angela. "It's Okay, Ma. It's not something Jane and I are ready for yet but she did promise an I will hold her to it."

"What promise," Frankie asked from next to Charlie.

"Janie promised Maura that if she pulled through at the hospital, Janie would get her pregnant with her child." Angela shared.

Korsak laughed, "Janie I didn't know you had what it takes."

"Hey!" she said defensively. "I can get her pregnant with my child."

Rick and Kate held hands and grinned at the Rizzoli argument.

"How?" Tommy said, "You're both girls."

"Hey Max," Sean said, "Want to give me a hand in the garage?"

His older brother stood up, "As interesting as this would be, yep."

Jordan grinned at her father and her uncle's squeamishness about "girly things they didn't want to know about." She looked at Woody, "You can go with them if you'd like."

Woody just shook his head, "watching Frankie and Korsak get a dose of Jane and Maura pregnant is going to make for some great office teasing later." He whispered. "I should be taking notes."

Jane looked to Jordan, "Okay Jordan." She said, "You want to be the big sister, you can explain to the Neanderthals the modern science of a lesbian couple's child who carries both their mothers genes."

Maura laughed, "They are far to smart to be Neanderthals, Jane." She covered her lover's mouth gently before continuing. "A much better insult would be a reference to the humans of the mesolithic era from 10,000 to 5,000 BC. Where man was smart enough to manufacture tools but were often injured using them. You should call them Troglodytes."

Frankie shifted in his seat as Charlie tried to stifle a laugh, "Now I know what it's like to be insulted by Google."

"You get used to it," Korsak said as the family erupted in laughter.

Jordan regained some composure, "I can't wait for the next family get together."

"I can't wait for you to explain surrogacy to the Troglodytes." Jane said using Maura's insult before looking at her, "This is what you sound like."

Jordan smiled, "Okay. So I'm pretty sure that what Jane and Maura are saying is that Jane will give up some of her eggs which I assume would be fertilized by a donor through in vitro fertilization and then the egg would be placed inside Maura's womb making her pregnant with Jane's child."

"I do not sound like that." Maura said. "Jordan is simplifying the process and is using words like pretty sure and assume."

Jane kissed her sweetly. "Okay, so anyone who needs my beloved Googlemouth broken down into regular cop dummy talk needs to go see my step sister Jordan."

"Where have you been?" Frankie said, "We all figured that out months ago."

"Actually," Korsak said, "We usually have to tell Jordan to 'tech it up' for our reports."

Kate spied Sean standing off in the kitchen. He nodded to her and her breath caught in her throat. It was time.

"Okay so we still have a couple of gifts under the tree and," She nodded to Alexis, "It looks like there Jane's."

Alexis handed over a large brightly wrapped present about the size of a VCR box. Jane glanced at her, took a light sip of Maura's wine, just enough to wet her tongue, and handed it back.

The box was kind of heavy and she hefted it into her lap. There was a note attached to the present so she opened it and read it aloud. "To Jane, with the greatest affection. Thank you for being my friend even when I wasn't much of one. Love always, Liv." She eyed the muscular brunette as she sipped at the whiskey that Sean had given her earlier. She nodded and leaned heavily into her seat next to Korsak.

Jane peeled away the wrapping paper and ripped off the tape that held the box closed. Inside she found black leather. Another cautious glance to her friend before she pulled out a leather riding vest. Its cut around the arms was tight with a low cut V neck and the buttons were dark grey, the kind that slipped through the slits on the opposite side. It was form fitted and looked awfully small for her but she was betting that Liv hadn't bought the wrong size.

Maura looked at the leather in her girlfriends hands. "That looks really tight."

"Wear it like a shirt Jane." Liv said. "It's fitted for you."

Jane slipped her arms into it and held it closed over her turtleneck, "I don't think I'll have much of a choice, babe. It's too tight to fit over anything."

She slipped it off and looked into the box and found more leather. She passed the vest to Maura and dug into the box.

Maura admired the craftsmanship of the vest. Very soft inside but very durable, she recognized Brazilian leather when she saw it.

She looked over to see Jane holding leather pants. Long thin legs and zip up cuffs, no pockets but thick belt loops and it appeared to have a low cut around the waist.

"I'm starting to be concerned about your fidelity, Jane." Maura said as she eyed her lover's friend.

"Never even once Maura, my word." Liv said.

Jane eyed the leather. "I'm starting to feel like a dominatrix or something." She looked at liv, "I don't have a leather fetish, hon."

Some chuckles from the group.

"I know." Liv said "But if you put that on, in ten seconds Maura will."

More laughter and Jane glared nervously as she handed the pants over.

_More Brazilian riding leather._ She thought as she felt the smooth insides of the pants.

Jane tossed the empty box next to the rest of the wrappings and she thanked her friend and hugged her tightly before returning to Maura.

Alexis handed her another box and Jane read the note. "To my Aunt Jane. Kick some ass in these. Lexie." She tore open the wrappings and the box to find a set of heavy riding boots with a seriously aggressive tread. Steel toed and steel heeled. They held adjustable clasps over the tongue but full zippers on the sides.

"The lady at the store said to break them in and then adjust the clasps to fit and just use the zippers to get in and out." Alexis said smartly.

Jane dumped the box with the rest and set the boots with the rest of the leather. She held her arms out and held her niece tightly while kissing her cheek before whispering to her.

Alexis nodded with a soft smile and let go to retrieve another gift for her aunt.

Jane grabbed the box and read the note that was written in Rick's neat masculine script, "You seeing a theme here yet?" She looked up at him, "You want to tell me what's going on?"

He laughed, "All will be revealed in the fullness of time. Pay no attention to the man behind the mirror."

"You know I can kill you in your sleep, right." She said and then added, "Or when you're awake."

He nodded with that charming mischievous grin.

Jane shook her head and tore into the gift and came out with a riding jacket similar to Kate's. She shook her head as she thought of the entire riding outfit that she had just received. The jacket was heavy, durable and held Kevlar pads in various parts that needed protection such as the shoulders elbows and spine. She slipped it on and it fit her like a glove.

"Okay so now I have everything to ride with." She said as Maura ran her hand over the leather. "And it's making my girlfriend look at me the way I like." She looked at rick, "Thank you but I want you to start talking now."

Alexis handed her a small box about the size of a necklace box.

Jane studied the note before she read it out loud, "No regrets. I'll be right beside you."

She looked up at her partner before opening the ornate box. Inside was a small black barrel key. She picked it up and looked at it. It was the key to Kate's Softtail. "You're giving me a key to your bike?"

"Not exactly." She said, "I trust you with my life. My Harley is another matter."

Jane stared at her.

"In the garage, Jane." She said simply.

Jane bolted from the couch and leaped over the coffee table as she ran as fast as she could to the garage. Max was holding the door for her and she flew passed him and came to a screeching halt at what stood in front of her. There was a flash of light that Jane barely realized had happened as she stared at the black monster that gleamed under the lighting.

Leaning heavily to its left on its kickstand was a Harley Davidson Fat Boy Low Rider.

Jane stared in awe, barely noticing her mother taking pictures while Sean ran a camcorder. It was blacked out, seriously blacked out with powder coat and black chrome that accented it's gloss black paint. Few parts were actually the chrome that adorned Kate's Softtail and it drew attention to the few mirrored pieces such as the circular name plate on the air filter.

In a neat bold Celtic script, smack in the center of a circle of words held an etching that read **Property of Jane Rizzoli.** The top half of the circle was made up with the words **Daughters of Justice** and making up the bottom of the circle **Standing on the Thin Blue Line. **

With her mouth hanging open, she suddenly felt two sets of hands on her. She blinked as Maura gently closed her mouth with a delicate finger. Kate stood on her other side.

"No." she said as she shook her head, "It's too much. I can't."

"Sure you can." Kate said. She looked at her partner.

"No. Kate" She stammered.

"Jane." Kate said stepping straight into her view. "You're my best friend. You're my partner. And you're my sister." She held a hand out to the bike, "This doesn't even show a sliver of my gratitude for what you've done for me and standing with me with all we've been through together and what you mean to me. And if you don't take it, I'm going to get really insulted and beat you within an inch of your life and never forgive you. No one else could stand at my back like you can."

Jane stared at her. Kate's mocha eyes were deep and affectionate. She felt her partner's words as if they were in her mind.

_I love you, Jane._

She felt a wave of love and gratitude fill her as she took her partner into her arms. She held on tightly to the woman who had become so dear to her that like Maura, she needed Kate in her life as much as the honey blond who stood next to them, hands clasped together, smiling with a single tear rolling down her cheek.  
Kate patted her on her armored back and gently let go. Jane released her and pulled Maura under her arm gently, being careful not to agitate her shoulder.

"Okay, Janie." Frankie said from behind them. "Enough of the mushy. Fire that bad boy up."

Shouts of agreement echoed around the garage and Maura grinned as she looked around them.

She smiled as their entire patched up cobbled together family stood surrounding them. Maura kissed her softly and whispered. "Go show off, Jane."

Jane kissed her back and let go. She again turned to the monster in front of her. She held up the key that she had clamped so tightly in her fist that it left an imprint when she opened her hand. She unlocked the bike and slid one long lean leg over it. All of her attention was focused on the tactile sensation of easing down on the bike for the first time. No, _her_ bike.

As her butt slowly slid into the seat she marveled at the feeling of her bike cupping her rear into it's embrace. She let her foot fall to the floor and her hands gripped the handlebars for the first time. She sighed audibly as she pulled the fork straight and pushed off the kickstand. She held it up levelly, feeling the weight ease off her thigh as she gained a more central balance. Her long slender fingers gripped the smooth chrome surface of the ignition knob and she turned it. The lights came on and she felt her heartbeat rise in anticipation.

From deep inside her, she felt that cold place inside her stir slightly. It too was waiting in anticipation. Jane flipped the switch on the handle bars to RUN and reached down to turn on the fuel valve under the tank. Her breath caught as she pressed the starter switch.

Three cranks and the big v-twin caught and the bike roared to life. Her hear thundered in her chest as she heard the throaty rumble from the pipes and felt the powerful vibrations of the engine travel through her thighs and up her spine. She grinned wide, the largest grin she had ever had as she revved the throttle. Roaring like thunder, the bike responded. _It_ roared in her soul in appreciation. Jane felt her own heart roar in unison. She was in complete harmony.

Few times she could ever remember feeling so at peace yet so alive. The only time she could remember feeling like this was that first night she had spent with Maura in her Central Park condo. The woman she loved, whom she thought she would never have, had been wrapped against her body, skin to skin and she had reveled in the sensation. Although this couldn't compare with that night it was definitely second on that list.

She revved it up twice more and looked to her lover. Maura's face was joyous but her eyes were telling a different story. Jane took in the minute details of her lover as she held her new bike and felt it rumble beneath her.

Maura's breath hitched and her pulse was pounding. Her hazel eyes were dark and hungry.

She looked down at the bike.

_Okay, you and I are going to get along fine. Especially when you make my woman that hot for me so do me a favor for the beginning of our friendship, you work your magic on her._ Jane smiled and held a hand out to Maura.

Maura hesitated but took the hand and allowed Jane to guide her over. Kate grabbed Maura by the hip and helped ease her onto the seat. Maura gently eased her arm out of the sling and Kate helped her wrap it around Jane. Jane leaned back slightly at her lover as Maura held her arms around her.

She eased into the throttle again and as if it knew, the bike coughed gently and roared it's throaty voice, sending waves of powerful vibrations through itself. Maura's hand gripped Jane tightly as she leaned down to whisper or rather not shout over the engine.

"I like it." She said as she nibbled Jane's ear, "and you look so hot on this." she shook her shoulders and not even the pain could slow down the heat building in her. "Let's hurry up and go home. I need you and I need to get off this bike before they see what I look like when I get off."

Jane's eyes widened as she jammed the run switch into the stop position.

As if someone pulled the plug, the bike simply shuttered and fell quiet. She looked down at the bike.

Hoots, hollers, and claps filled the room as Jane shut off the ignition switch, killing the lights.

"And you said the Harley look was passé." She grinned.

"I may have been mistaken." Maura said throatily.

_Oh yeah._ She thought,_you are so my new favorite toy of all time. We'd ride you home right now if there wasn't three feet of snow on the ground._

Kate helped Maura off the bike and she eased the sling back around her injured arm. She passed Maura a knowing smile and nodded.

"Breathe." She whispered, "It helps."

Maura flushed with embarrassment and nodded. Jane looked up as she rested the bike on it's kickstand. Her eyes were dark but her emotions were plainly visible. Kate grinned as her partner got off her new ride.

Jane hugged her again and Kate whispered to her, "Take the car. We'll get a ride back in a while."

She smiled. "Thanks."

Kate let go and looked at her, "Take the leather, too."

**A/N: yum.**


	27. Chapter 27

**A/n: This chapter is full of tie ups. things that were left open were done so for a reason so enjoy.**

* * *

Angela walked through Maura's house late the next morning finding the huge house in Beacon Hill quiet. And since Jane's car wasn't in the driveway, she assumed that they had all gone out to eat or pick up a U-Haul trailer for Jane's new bike.

Since her family was heading back to New York tonight, Angela thought she could help pack up her children's things for the return trip. It amazed her how she could love so many people like family. It wasn't just Maura. Over the years and especially this Year when Katie had contacted her and told her that Jane was in NYC and under her care. Katie had been one of Jane's friends for years and only recently had Angela looked on the young woman as one of her own.

Richard Castle had been different than what she had been expecting. She had read many of his books and after the initial celebrity novelty had worn off, she had found his childish antics amusing. But his affection for Katie was just as strong as Maura's was for Jane. She thought Katie was marrying well and it pleased her.

Alexis. Angela laughed at the red head who curled her hair like Janie and dressed like Katie and was an odd mixing of Jane, Kate, and Rick, and even though she was different, she reminded the Rizzoli Matriarch of Maura as well.

Jordan had accepted Angela easy enough and although she was going to be her niece-in-law. She often thought of her as a daughter. Like Katie, Jordan had lost her mother to murder when she was a child, and like Katie, Jordan had looked up to her as kind of a fill in mother. Although Maura knew who both her Biological mother and her adoptive mother were, both were in some way or another unavailable to love her like she should be. Maura was the first and Katie had come later with Jordan, being the oldest, bringing up the last of her adoptive Rizzoli's. Angela had done her best to never let down her three adoptive daughters any more than she wanted to let down Janie.

She smiled at the warm sensation of having four grown daughters to compliment her two sons. She had always wanted a big family and now she had it, even though the blood wasn't there, their hearts were.

As she rounded the stairs to Maura's second floor she thought about Olivia Benson. She wasn't a woman who needed a mother and whatever hurt had made up her life, it had made her strong, like Janie was, unbreakable. But Like Janie, Livy had her own weakness and whoever Alex was, Angela wanted to take the girl over her knee.

Livy was on her way to being Angela's last adoptive child. Angela made it a point to talk to her in Italian whenever they were alone and Livy had been grateful for the practice.

She rounded the corner and pushed the door open into Jane and Maura's room to collect the dirty clothes from the bathroom when she gasped sharply and slammed her eyes shut.

Jane was on top of Maura, sans clothes, her hands on either side of her girlfriend. With one of Maura's legs hooked over her daughter's bared hip. Jane's back was arched away from Maura as she let out a throaty "Maura" that was matched by the blonde "OH Jane". Jane's leather riding outfit was scattered across the floor.

Angel covered her eyes and tried to back out of the room but her elbow banged painfully against the door frame in her retreat causing her to yelp.

"Jesus Christ, Ma!" Jane's angry voice pierced the silent air.

Angela stood frozen as she held her hands on her face. "I'm sorry, I thought everyone was gone."

She heard the rustling of blankets and a sharp, "Ma, get out!"

She again tried to repeat her retreat and banged her elbow against the frame again, she yelped again

"Ma!" a softer voice still raspy called out, "Take a step to your left and straight back."

Angela did and didn't run into anything she turned sharply and walked into a wall.

"Ugh." Jane said as she yanked the sheet around herself. "I better check on her before she falls down the stairs."

Jane caught up with her right before Angela would have done that very thing. She grabbed her mom and stopped her.

"I'm covered up Ma you can put your hands down." She said.

Angela did but she kept her eyes closed. "I'm sorry Janie. I, I, I thought."

"Ma." She said, "You already said that now open your eye so you don't fall down the stairs on your way out."

Angela opened her eyes. Jane was standing in front of her with a white sheet wrapped around her body and her skin still flushed from sex. She looked passed Jane to see Maura was hiding in the bed spread the very edge of her head looking out from the door shyly. Angela looked down at the floor to see that one more step would have sent her tumbling down the stair well. She gasped. "Oh my god." She looked to her daughter, "I almost fell down the stairs."

"Yeah." Jane said, "You need to be more careful."

"Oh," she said in relief, "Oh thank you, Janie."

She hugged her daughter, "Okay,that's really uncomfortable." She said turning her mother away from the steps and pushing her a way. "Ma, I'm naked and wrapped in a sheet after making love to my girlfriend! Let go of me, it feels weird!" She pushed a little harder and Angela blushed.

"OH!" She said as she took a step back and glanced at Maura who promptly ducked into the room.

"It's not like her to be embarrassed over these things." Angela said.

"I'm not embarrassed." Her voice called out, "I'm just coming down from my orgasm."

"Hey!" she said.

Maura stuck her head out of the room, her chest was still heaving. "What. I'm not embarrassed. I just think it would be rude to be panting while.."

"No, a da da da." She shushed her lover, "Remember the conversation we had in your living room after the dead guy in your condo?"

"Dead Guy!?"

Jane looked at her, "Yeah, dead guy." She looked back at Maura. "Sweetie, I love you but don't talk about…" she waved her hand in a circular motion.

Maura got it then and made an O with her mouth. "Don't talk about our sex life with your mother or your boss. Okay. I remember now."

"Wait, boss?" She turned back to Jane, "Dead Guy in Maura's condo?"

Maura having regained herself stepped out of the room. "Yes though he wasn't dead when he came in. Jane killed him."

"Janie." her mom pointed a finger at her, "Start talking missy."

Jane groaned at the position Maura put her in as she came up to her girlfriend, "You are so lucky I love you." Jane tipped Maura's head to show her mother the scar under her jaw, "He cut Maura and was going to shoot her and tried to kill me. I didn't have a choice."

Angela came over and looked at the newly healed wound. "I don't like you two living in that awful place. You're not even safe in your own home." She turned to look at Jane. "Now you're supposed to be the man in your relationship, so put your pants on, put your foot down and get your butts back her where you're safe."

"What do you mean I'm the man in the relationship?" she said indignantly, "There is no man in our relationship! That's why it works for us."

Maura bit her lip to keep from saying anything.

"Well judging by what I just seen." Angela said sharply.

"Oh HELL NO!" Jane shouted, "I am not going to talk to my mother about how I have sex with my girlfriend." She looked at Maura, "What. It's bugging you I can see it, just spit it out."

Maura let go of her lip and shook her head, "No. I told you I wouldn't talk about it with Ma."

Angela stared at her, "Maura tell me."

Jane glared at her mother and then to her girlfriend. "What the hell, I'm embarrassed enough as it is, what's one more indignity?" She waved a hand at Maura, "Go ahead."

Maura looked at Jane and then back to Angela, "Okay? Well what you have seen was me pleasing Jane not the other way around." She bit her lip again. "I just had another one because I like watching her."

"Okay." Jane said pulling the sheet around her head, "That's good. Thank you, baby." Jane headed back to the bedroom and closed the door gently.

"I'd better." She pointed a thumb over her shoulder. "Yeah." She turned around and fast walked to the door and inside.

Angela stared, not quite understanding what happened.

* * *

Two hours later Angela had come back to help with the packing and found Alexis and Rick sitting at the table talking about schools.

"All I'm saying is that I looked up BCU statistics and it looks like they have everything I need to become a Medical Examiner including several prominent Alumni."

He grinned at her, "Like a Doctor Maura Isles?"

"She's one in a list of others." Alexis defended, "And although she's high on the list she's not the most prominent."

He snorted into his coffee, "I find that hard to believe and as I recall, Icahn has a prominent professor who once held the title of CME of Massachusetts and as I recall, it also boasts being one of the most comprehensive medical schools." He took a sip and set it down. "Wouldn't you rather become a doctor who actually heals people instead of one who works with the recently departed?"

Alexis' eyes glazed slightly, "No." she blinked and it was gone. "Dad. I killed someone."

His face took on a somber look, "I know and you shouldn't have had to. But if you didn't."

"I know." She cut him off. "But I won't deny that it changed how I look at things. Ma said that it does that to you and I can't stop seeing it over and over. She said she'll take me to see Dr. Burke when we get back but I can't help but see him."

"Oh, honey." Angela said as she came over to the girl.

Alexis held up a hand to stop her, "I need to say this Nonna. I can't be distracted."

Angela grimaced, "Okay."

"I want to be a Medical Examiner." She said to them, "Jordan let me see him on the table. I couldn't stop thinking about who he was. What made him do the things he did and what lead him to be on that table. I can't stop thinking about if he had a family. Someone who would want to know what happened to him. "

"Is that really you talking or is it what happened with you and Maura?" he asked.

Angela nodded, "That's a good point sweetie."

"Its me." She said. "Aunt Jane said that she wanted to be a detective, that she knew that a long time ago. Ma said her mother's death is what made her want to be a cop instead of a lawyer. Jordan became an ME over her mom's death and her dad was a cop too. You're marrying a cop, dad. And Ma and Aunt Jane have been a big influence in my life. I believe in them and what they do and I've thought about being a detective. But shooting that man opened my eyes. Ma told me that when she has to take someone's life, it hurts her. I have taken a life and she's right, it does hurt. Aunt Jane said that the worst thing in the world is when you don't feel the pain of talking someone's life anymore. She said it's the worst thing she's ever felt and that she doesn't ever want me to know that kind of apathy."

Alexis swiped at a stray tear, "I know now that I don't have what it takes to do what Aunt Jane and Ma do every day, but Maura, Jordan, and Lanie showed me that I can still help them do their job. I want to help solve murders and bring closure to those families. I can do it and I want to do it. Columbia offers a pre-med curriculum that I plan on changing to when we get home but it's not med school."

Angela held a hand over her mouth at Alexis' words.

Rick smiled as he heard the passion in his daughter's voice. After all of Alexis' wide range of studies, she finally had direction. And she was driven to it with all of her heart. "Then I think we need to find the right school for you because Columbia doesn't sound like a very good fit anymore."

Alexis stood up and hugged her father. Angela smiled and joined them.

* * *

Kate threw two jabs, a right cross and a left hook at Jane with all her strength. She followed up with a left knee, a right hook, and a left uppercut and she did it all so quickly that it was barely seen. Olivia's arms flexed as she sat on the bench and worked out with her kettlebell and watched Jane and Kate sparring. Well not so much sparring as Kate's fists and feet were padded and Jane stood wearing only a pair of spade pads which Liv wasn't sure how but Jane managed to get between herself and Kate's attacks.

Kate was sweating hard as she fought. Jane was sweating too as she blocked and things she couldn't block, she got out of the way of. Kate swung another elbow and Jane deflected and before Kate could kick, Jane was already sidestepping but still caught the foot from over extending. Kate's trust in Jane's abilities had shocked Liv at first but as she watched, she understood why. Jane was fast. Like lightning and she met Kate hit for hit.

As Angela came into the room she gasped as she watched the viciousness of Kate's attack. More so that Jane didn't back off just calmly met her partner's fists, feet and knees.

"Don't worry," Liv said calmly, "They do this all the time."

"Janie's going to get hurt." Angela said.

"Actually," Liv said as she adjusted her kettlebell and changed positions. "Jane is keeping Kate from getting hurt."

She stared as Kate threw another jab and two crosses, followed by another uppercut, a kick and two more hooks. Jane caught each one in turn and continued. Her threat detection had registered her mother and Jane had ignored it because Kate's fighting was taking a lot of her concentration. She was getting better every time they trained. Her throws were getting more precise and seemingly random at every turn and Jane was proud of her.

She caught the punch and the Jab and decided that Kate had done enough today. Jane waited for a hook and Kate didn't disappoint, she turned her body and caught it between the pads. Kate froze.

"Great Job Kate." Jane said with a smile. "You're getting scary good. Another couple of weeks and I'm going to need more than spades."

Kate smiled while she heaved slightly. "From you that's a real compliment."

Jane nodded, "You deserve it, now go burn it off, girl."

Kate nodded and took a huge gulp of water and headed to the corner of Maura's yoga room to cool down from her work out. She started off moving her feet and ran through a series of light exercises to regulate her heartbeat.

Jane dropped the pads on the floor and shook out her arms and legs. "Hey Liv, you ready?"

"Hell no." she said smartly. "I'm working arms and abs today."

She palmed and held out the kettlebell with the handle sticking out. "Care to try it?"

"Don't think so." She said with a laugh, "I don't play with cannonballs."

"Well if you're done with the floor," Liv said standing up. "I'd like to slap in some more weight and start swinging."

She held out a hand, "It's all yours babe."

Olivia looked over at Angela and separated the adjustable kettlebell and dropped all of the remaining weights into it before resecuring the handle and testing the lock. She picked it up and stood in the middle of the mat and started swinging the heavy weight from the floor directly out in front of her and then back down to the floor all the while her muscles bunched as she put more force into making it move an equal force into stopping it's movement.

All three women were dressed in yoga shorts and their sports bras. Liv's abs were revealed as a six pack and her arms were lean and built. Her things were a shapely mass of powerful muscles that flexed and released as she worked out.

Jane watched her ma stare at her friend. She looked back and appreciated the view as Olivia a woman who was creeping up to her fifties looked better than most women half her age.

"Hard to believe she's going to be fifty in three years." Jane said quietly to her mother.

"She doesn't look like she's out of her thirties." Her mom said.

"Yep. She eats right and takes care of herself." Jane smirked at her mother, "Of course she can pig out on pizza and booze with the best of them. She's drank me under the table more than once back in the day."

Angela shook her head and looked down at her daughter, "I can see your ribs."

"Ma." She whined. "I'm in the best shape of my life and you're complaining about it." She said as she rubbed her side. "It's not like I'm anorexic or something. I eat Maura's healthy food and I still eat my kinda food too. I just burn it all off."

"I'm just saying you look too thin." She said as she eyed Kate in the corner doing stretches. "Katie looks good as you but she's not so lean."

"She also works out for three hours a week and eats nothing but salads most days." Jane said, "I work out in a boxing ring five days a week for a couple hours at a time. I'm burning six times the calories she does."

Angela stared at her, "What do you mean you work out in a boxing ring?"

"Well to be technical I work out in a boxing gym, behind the ring." She said. "I'm a fighter, Ma. I always have been and now there are not many who can take me."

"She's not lying, Ma." Kate said deliberately using the word to cover her partner, "Sometimes if she's into it. She'll throw punches all night long if someone doesn't go get her."

Jane nodded, "I'm bad, Ma. And it helps keep me and Kate safe."

"Speaking of which," Kate said eluding to her other side, "You should go burn some off on the dummy. You haven't thrown down since the night before we came down."

"I'll throw down when I have the room to myself." Jane replied, "I'm not a spectator athlete."

Kate nodded as she looked back at Liv. "I swear, I don't know how she can look like one of those pro wrestler girls and still pull off sexy as hell."

"I'm not Chyna." Liv said sharply as she swung the heavy weight up. "You talk like I'm some Steroidal Diesel. I'm not much bigger than you or Jane."

"Only by twenty or thirty pounds." Kate said

"Muscle weighs more." She said nonchalantly. "Play with this thing and you'll weigh more too and only gain a dress size."

"And on that note, what do you need, Ma?" Jane said.

"I was talking with Rick and Alexis upstairs and she was going over new schools she want to go to, including BCU."

"I'm sure she's just reevaluating her options, Ma." Jane said.

"She actually does it a lot, Ma." Kate agreed. "She really doesn't know what she wants to do."

"That's the thing." Angela said, "She says she wants to be a Medical Examiner, says that the shooting helped put things into a new perspective."

Kate and Jane exchanged a look.

"The shooting really affected her." Kate said.

"I know." Jane thought about it for a minute, "I guess it makes sense. She always wants to help us solve our cases."

"And her dad does bounce his thoughts off her when a case stumps us." Kate thought on it too, "it would also keep her off the street for the most part."

"And she did intern with Lanie for a while. The dead people didn't really weigh on her all that much."

"She made a very passionate argument about it." Angela said.

"How passionate?" They said together.

"Very." Angela said. "She told her father about your desire to be a detective, Jane and your experience with your mother, Kate. Jordan's experience with her mother, Lanie, Maura, the guy that tried to kill Maura. All of it all came out at once and she was sad for him. Said that somewhere someone wanted to know what happened to their son why he did what he did and how he got there. She was so driven by it."

They exchanged another look.

"I think she may have found it." Kate said.

Jane nodded, "God I hope so. She's bounced around so much."

"What did Rick say?" Kate asked.

"He said they needed to find a better school for her. That Columbia didn't sound like a fit for her anymore."

Jane grinned and so did Kate. "Our baby girl found it Kate."

"I think she did." She replied.

* * *

Cavanaugh ran a hand through his short grey hair as he sat down in his home office chair. Jane and Kate had come by at his request to discuss something that he needed to know.

"I know you're ready to head back to New York so I'll make this short." He said as he looked to Jane, "Your Ma wants me to get you back into BPD. There are all kinds of changes happening this year and I want to make sure I got the best people in place but I'm not going to push the issue. All I want to know is when are you ready to come back?"

Kate sat up to hear her, It was stupid. Jane had already explained it to Kate but she wanted to hear it any way. Her partner shifted in her chair.

"I'm sorry, Lieutenant." She said honestly, "I can't come back yet. I still have some things I have to work out in New York."

"Like what" he asked.

"Like open cases that Beckett and I are working, Court appearances." She glanced at her partner, "Kate and I had a case that's been really hard on her and I promised her that I'd stand with her while she deals with it. I made a commitment to my partner and I won't abandon her."

He looked to Beckett, "You must be some kind of partner for her to stand by you like that."

"She's the best partner I ever had." Kate said, "You ever had one of those partners that you just clicked with. The kind where you don't need to say anything but you both know what the other's thinking?"

He nodded, "yeah, I did once. Then I crawled into the bottle and ruined it."

"I have never had anyone I understood or who understood me better. Not even Rick gets me like she does."

"You're her partner and her Sergeant," He said, "So I'll be straight with you, I want Rizzoli back in my Homicide Unit."

"LT," Jane said, "I'm sorry about how I left here but I made a commitment to both my partner and the NYPD. I can't just pick up and go like that. Not to mention that Maura can't leave Icahn until the school year ends so that's June."

_Oh boy!_ Kate thought. She remembered the paper in the empty file in her desk. _Well I guess now is as good a time as any._

"As Detective Rizzoli's Sergeant and immediate supervisor, I have to report her statement is in error, Lieutenant." Kate said. Jane's head snapped around.

She held up her hand to silence her partner, "What Detective Rizzoli should have said was that _WE_ can't just pick up and go that easy."

"Kate!" Jane gasped.

Sean stared at her, "Beckett, are you saying what I think your saying?"

"Jane is my partner, Lieutenant." She said confidently. "She's not the only one who's made commitments."

"Kate." Jane said. Again she held up a hand but this time backed it up with a look.

Jane stopped and nodded in acknowledgement.

"Just to be clear here, Beckett, you're saying that if I want Rizzoli back, I have to take you too."

"Yes, sir. That's correct." She said, "Jane is correct about a bad case that we worked that I've been dealing with. I want to finish it before I consider leaving the NYPD and before you ask, leaving New York has only recently become an option for me. But I also come with one other condition."

Sean stared at her, "And that is?"

Jane jumped in to support her partner since the initial shock had worn off, "Kate is Rick's inspiration for the Nikki Heat book series. She's going to want him authorized to shadow us for the duration of her employment."

He jumped up, "A civilian? Following my detectives around? I don't think so."

"Rick Castle has not only been following Sergeant Beckett for more than four years but he has also proven, even to me, that he is a great asset to a Homicide investigation." Jane said coolly.

"the liability alone…"

"Was waved in it's entirety in New York City." Kate said. "I can get copies of that contract for review by Boston's legal department if you like."

"Think of him as a civilian contractor that you don't have to pay" Jane said.

Cavanaugh thought about it for a few minutes as he looked out the window at the snow covered neighborhood. Boston would be a lot better off with both of them than with just Jane. But a civilian, that was another matter.

"I'll have to talk to the commissioner about it." He said as he turned around and sat back down in the chair. "Thing is that I know this isn't the right time but I'm down a detective. Losing Frost has created a small vacuum in homicide and I need to replace him. Getting Beckett in here later isn't a problem. She can replace Vince at the end of the year. You're the problem."

"What?" Jane snapped, "What's happening with Korsak?"

"Turned in his retirement paperwork two weeks ago." He said, "He's done his time and I guess he made an agreement with his ex-wife that if he'll leave the force, she'll get back together with him. Admin agreed to give him a year to wrap up all of his cases."

"First Frost, now Korsak?" Jane said. "There's no going to be much of Homicide to come back too."

"I know, that's why I want you back here. How long until you can take your Sergeant's Exam over there?" he asked.

Jane looked at Kate.

"NYPD has some policy of not honoring time in grade from other departments for recent transfers until after two years in the NYPD. Jane, despite having more time in Homicide than I do, is still an outside transfer. As her Sergeant I can't even push for the test early until she's been there for a year."

"Well that won't happen in BPD, You come here all your time on the force is honored but your seniority level will fall to the level of the newest Sergeant. Because Jane started with BPD, her time at NYPD won't be added to her seniority but she keeps what she earned from previous years of service with BPD."

"Basically that means that you'll get picked first to work holidays and crap like that though you'll out rank most of everyone in Homicide because of how many years you've been in Homicide." Jane explained.

"Holiday pay here I come." Kate said with a grin, "Or does it suck like at NYPD?"

"It sucks." She said and with a smirk added, "Not as bad as NYPD sucks."

"Says my partner who's wearing the badge of said department on her hip," Kate smirked back.

Cavanaugh sighed, "It's like a Heckle and Jeckle rerun."

They laughed and he couldn't hold out much longer. He laughed too and reached into his drawer and pulled out a badge. He tossed it at Jane and she caught it cleanly.

She looked down at the number on the BPD Badge, 825.

She stopped laughing and stared at him. "This is my badge."

"Yeah it is." He said. "When Admin came for it I made sure that I couldn't find it but your service weapon is gone."

She smiled, "That's okay. It was too small anyway."

He dug into the drawer again and found another badge that he tossed to Kate. She looked at it.

Detective Sergeant, 426. On the back was written in sharpie on the clasp, H426.

"That would be your badge number." He said, "Jane is Victor 825 because her badge was issued by Vice. Yours is Henry 426 because it will be issued by Homicide."

Jane stared at him. "You knew! You knew I wouldn't come back without her!"

"After what happened with you and Maura," he said confidently, "I knew where you went and I knew why you went to Beckett. All those years I let you go to LETO I knew that eventually I'd either lose you to NYPD or NYPD would lose Beckett to me. You had me worried there for a while Rizzoli until the Doc quit her job to follow you. That was when I knew for sure you'd be back. I just didn't think it would take so long for you to pull your head out of your ass."

She feigned indignance, "Hey! I resemble that remark!"

She looked at her badge and then to Kate. "I haven't said yes yet."

Kate looked back at her. "You should. You'd be happier here."

Jane set the badge on the desk and looked straight at her old boss, "I made a promise to my partner and I keep my promises."

Fingering the badge lightly, Kate stared at it. Boston. Never had she thought she'd consider leaving New York but there she was thinking about it all over again for the fifth time since Jane had come to her a year ago on this very day. The crazy woman with wild ebony curls had shook up her life from the moment she met her in June of 2008 and now she was thinking about it all over again. Jane was so much more than a partner, a friend, a sister. She was her twin, equal and opposite, ying to her yang. She could look for a thousand years and never meet someone who she could match with so perfectly, so effortlessly.

Kate fingered the badge again and looked over to her partner and shook her head, "Fucking Crazy Bitch."

She said as she set the badge on the desk and looked to Cavanaugh. "I'm in."

Jane's jaw hit the floor. "Kate, what about… You know."

"I can get what I need here too Jane and it's not like Gates is going to let us go right when we get back. This is going to take some time and I doubt we'll get to transfer together anyway."

"What about Rick?" she asked.

"If he loves me as much as he says he does," she said calmly, "He'll come too."

Jane smiled at Cavanaugh, "You're going to need a fill in until June. I won't leave Maura in NYC."

He nodded, "I think I can handle a floater for a few months."

* * *

Sitting at heir desks in the 12th bull pen, both of them were looking down at their transfer papers. Jane looked up at her partner.

"You really don't have to do this. We can stay here."

Kate tapped her pen against her lip as she considered her partner, "No. I think it's a good move. You and Maura aren't the only one's thinking about children. I think it would be nice for them to have a yard and open spaces to run and raising kids where it doesn't take twenty minutes to get five miles away should something happen."

Jane blinked at her, "Your thinking about children?"

"I have been but don't tell Mr. Ego. It's just a thought right now and I like to plan ahead."

She nodded, "Well I'm sure Beacon Hill has a few fancy places for sale."

"It's never been about that for me." she said, "He's like Maura. He buys without consideration of price because he wants the best for Alexis and now me."

"I know." She thought of all of Maura's clothes hanging up in the closet. She probably spent more on them than Jane had made in her life.

Jane took her pen out of the cup and looked down, "All it takes is a few lines of ink."

Kate nodded as she stared at the line marked with an X. "A few lines and we start one helluva shit storm."

Jane put her pen to the page and stopped, "Gates is going to hit the roof."

"Yep." Kate said and she took a deep breath and signed.

Jane gently scribbled her name and tossed the pen back in the cup.

"Well," Kate said as she stood up, "lets go ruin the Captain's day."

Jane nodded and stood up. They walked over to the office of their CO and knocked.

"Come in." The sharp voice shouted.

They looked at each other and took a deep breath for courage.

Kate stepped in first, "Sir, do you have a minute?"

Jane walked in behind her and shut the door.

**A/N: Here we are at the end of our little journey. One more to go and were off for a while. Tag me up because I have a sequel already in mind. Z-MJ thanks a bunch and I'll PM you when I start posting because you two have been great company. I'd PM you MommaJ but your service is off, just set me as a favorite****author and the next one will hit your email. Much love to all of my followers and favorites. Please comment because I want to know what you thougth. PS this story is going to be going through an editing process with my wife later so when it updates again I'll tag it final in the description. Much love to all of you because this had been a blast.**


	28. Chapter 28

**A/N: some serious ugly ahead so be warned. Let me introduce you to the antagonist of the series that's in my head. Allow me to introduce you to The Raven. **

* * *

Columbia.

She stood staring out of the large picturesque window at the vast flower garden in the courtyard below. Bright red geraniums surrounded a large patch of standing roses of various colors. Both were slowly dying beneath the hot sun of Columbia despite the breeze coming from the ocean a mere two miles away. She stared at the roses with a new smile on her beautiful face. Her wavy black hair brushing gently against her cheek as she admired the garden she had so meticulously kept watered and fed over the last few months while her husband had tended his massive cocaine fields with a small army of workers who were little better than slaves.

Her roses needed to be fed and watered and she smiled at what was to come. The geraniums, she actually couldn't care less about. The bright crimson flowers were merely a buffer for her roses which was why there was a small walkway through the geraniums that lead to the patch of thorns. On occasion, when she needed one, she herself would walk the path and carefully snip one off at the root. They were called 'blood roses' in Columbia and Venezuela and to receive one was a message to put your affairs in order.

She chuckled softly at the thought but she was interrupted by heavy boots walking into the room. She turned around to find the massive muscle of her most trusted friend. He looked to the body on the floor and around the huge, luxurious office she was occupying in the massive South American hacienda.

"The machine has been brought up." his voice was all southern California.

She nodded, "Have them point the chute over the roses with a wide an opening as possible." Her mid-western accent was from her Wyoming upbringing. "Tell Mango that if he overloads it again, you'll run him through it at the correct speed."

He grinned widely, "And your husband?"

She looked down at the dark skinned body on the floor, "Take him out to the fields when were done here."

He nodded and snapped his fingers. Two men came in and each grabbed a foot and dragged him out of the office.

"Have Maria brought to the bedroom balcony and drag the other one up as well."

He nodded and took a radio off his belt and spoke into it in Spanish, a reply was quick.

"She's awaiting your arrival." He said with a grin again. "He'll be brought up shortly."

She nodded, her dark eyes revealing nothing as she walked across the hall and into her bedroom. She heard a female voice whimpering as several men taunted the poor girl. They fell silent as she walked onto the balcony.

Maria was a young, beautiful girl around the age of twenty. She had hired the girl a year ago to be a maid and her husband had taken a fancy to the little tramp. As soon as she seen her mistress she tried to fall to her knees but was held by two men. Her hands were bound together as were her feet. The lovely floral dress was plastered to her skin from both the breeze and from sweating.

_"__Please, Mistress." _She pleaded in Portuguese, _"__he forced himself on me. I couldn't tell him not too. I am just a servant and he would have beaten me. I never welcomed him in to my body. Please have mercy."_

She smiled warmly at the girl. It was well known that although she was fluent in Spanish and Portuguese, she never spoke anything but English. Which was why everyone in the house was required to learn English.

"Oh Maria," She said seductively as she approached the girl with a predator's lope, "I'm not angry at you for screwing my husband. Hell, if you could have satisfied him enough to keep him out of my bed. I'd have rewarded you greatly."

She nuzzled the girl's neck causing her to cringe, "You could have shared my bed and been given all of the things you dream of."

She grabbed Maria's chin in a rough grip and turned her face to hers sharply. With her lips nearly kissably close she whispered, "I'm angry with you because you talk too much."

She placed a feather light kiss on Maria's trembling lips as two men dragged a third man onto the balcony. The men dropped him on the floor and she turned to look at him. Like Maria, his arms and legs were tied together. But he had been savagely beaten and tortured. Every part of his skin that was visible had cuts and a white powder she knew to be salt. He was blindfolded and gagged.

It was one of her partner's favorite tools for interrogation. The walking mass of muscles pulled out a straight razor and handed it to her.

She fingered the edge and came away with a drop of blood. "Maria, did you know that Carlos here is actually an American?" She looked over her shoulder at the girl, "He's an Agent of the DEA."

Her eyes went wide but it was forced, _"__I did not know, Please, I did not know."_

She looked at her partner, "Take him out and set him on fire."

Carlos started jerking violently and her partner slammed a massive fist into the man's face before the guards dragged him out.

Maria started crying then as Mango caught a rope that was suspended from the truss of the roof. He made a loop and hooked it around her wrists and two men pulled on the other end of the rope. Maria's hands were pulled up painfully.

_ "__Please Mistress. I will do whatever you wish, please. I will please you in every way, even in your bed, though I am not worthy."_ She pleaded again and again.

She considered it briefly, Maria was certainly attractive but the trust was already broken and it was something she could not let pass. She came over to her and used the blade to cut away the dress and Maria's underwear. Maria whimpered at the close contact of the razor but her mistress did not cut her.

She looked over the tanned body of the maid in appreciation. Full breasts with cute nipples, just the kind of perkiness she liked, Shapely legs and a great butt. It was quite a shame.

She leaned over the rail and signaled the man below.

Maria heard a diesel engine start and wind up to a set RPM.

Her mistress looked at her then and the cold eyes caused her to scream. She waved a hand at Mango and he pulled the rope, hoisting the girl in the air over the railing. Maria screamed louder as she finally saw what was making the engine sounds. She was being lowered slowly into the maw of a massive wood chipper.

The mistress leaned over the railing, "Once upon a time, you asked me why their called Blood Roses. Now you know."

She walked away from the rail and headed back to the office. Once there she opened the massive window wider as Maria's panicked screams turned into agonizing streaks of pain as the chipper ripped apart flesh and pulverized bone. Sending blood and body parts shooting into the flower bed no larger than a pencil eraser. She listened with a wide smile as the screams gurgled and silenced as the chipper tore at her lungs.

As Maria's screams echoed across the mountainside, she smiled warmly. "Sweet music. She sang so sweetly to me in her final moments."

She knew when Maria's head had entered because the machine's hum dipped slightly and the spray stopped. Several bits of black hair were sent flying but lost momentum and drifted to the ground as if weighing no more than feathers. She smiled at the sight of her beautiful roses covered in the girl's blood and body fluids.

She looked down to find Manuel looking up at her, a misting hose in his hands. "Not too much this time, please. I don't want them to lose the color."

He nodded nervously and set across the stone walkway to moisten his mistress' roses.

Others started washing down the brick walkway where Maria had been over sprayed by the breeze. She nodded as everyone was busy either cleaning up or preparing for their next task. She headed out of the office and down the grand stairway to the front door. Once out in the driveway she called to Mango.

"Take my husband out to the fields and run him through the machine so he can become part of his favorite treasure." He nodded at her words as he began to hitch the now bloody chipper to the truck. Her husband's body was already in the back of the pickup.

She walked over to the circular driveway and found that her partner had staked the fed into a kneeling position in a tub of lamp oil.

"Going for a slow burn?" She asked him.

"Well since gas tends to blow up, I thought I'd try something new." He said, as if he was talking about mowing the grass or playing cards. "Figure a fed would be a good guinea pig."

She nodded and he handed her a bottle of lamp oil. She walked over to the fed and poured some over his head before she let the bottle down. She looked to her partner and then pulled the blindfold off.

He blinked at the sunlight that shined in his eyes until she leaned into the light and stared at him.

He blinked the spots way from his vision and settled on her. His eyes went wide as he recognized her.

He jerked violently and muttered through the gag.

"No I don't even want to hear your voice Carlos." She said as she began to pour the oil on him again.

He bucked and he jerked but she kept pouring the oil until the bottle was empty.

"You got greedy, my old friend." She said, "You should have stayed in Bogota. Arboletes isn't safe for Feds and you knew that. Now you know why."

She dropped the empty bottle and her partner handed her a grille lighter. "You have gas incase this doesn't work, right?"

"You want me to hose him now?"

She leaned down with the lighter and flicked the trigger. A flame came out about an inch and she held it to the edge of the oil in the tub. It didn't light immediately and she was tempted to order the gas thrown on him but it caught and the flames slowly eased across the tub. The Fed's splashing around only increased the rate the flames consumed the oil. Within a minute he was screaming as his body was slowly eaten over by the flames.

She stood back and watched as he screamed a writhed from being on fire. His voice changed pitch as the hot air was sucked into his lungs, scorching them and as he screamed out again, the same heated air fused his vocal cords together. He screamed again and again but no sound came out and eventually he suffocated from the irreparable damage to his lungs before he had a chance to burn to death.

"Well, that was certainly interesting." She said in a nonchalant voice.

He rubbed his chin between his thumb and index finger, "I wonder if we can prolong the sensation." She looked up at him, "Maybe some kind of mask over his face to prevent him from sucking in the hot air."

"Then I can't her him scream." She said.

He nodded then snapped his fingers. "Satellite dish."

She looked at him blankly.

"When a dog starts digging in his ears too much, vets put that satellite dish thing around their head so they can't get at their ears."

"Oh." She said, "That could work. Might even make a nice echo."

He nodded as they headed back to the House.

"So what have you heard from our good Senator?" She said as she led the way.

"He's become remarkably quiet since Christmas." He groaned, "I think someone reported that his wife is leaving him over a couple of hookers or some such."

"Men," she groaned, "They just can't keep it in their pants."

"Hey." He barked, "I don't have that problem."

"You're not fucking me." She said, "So I don't care who you fuck around with."

He raised his eyebrows and nodded his head in a "good point" way.

"And what about his problem." She swiped a loose strand of Maria's hair up from the driveway. "Did he ever get that thing handled with those cops?"

"Don't know." He said honestly. "Like I said, he's been remarkably quiet and not very forthcoming with answers. I haven't had the chance to get back with him because of our takeover of your husband's cartel."

"Yes." She said, "It has taken up the bulk of the last week."

He nodded as the pickup drove passed them with the wood chipper in tow.

They reached the door and he stopped short. "What do you want to do about him?"

She leaned against the door and unbuttoned her blouse. He knew it wasn't sexual, just giving in to the high temperatures of Columbia. She thought about it for a few.

"I think it's time to remind him of his obligations to our money. He has an assistant named James something or another." She looked at him pointedly. "Arrange for him to get mugged and make sure it goes bad." She said sharply.

"Do we want to interrogate him at all?" he asked and there was no joy or remorse in his voice. It was just a job to him.

"No." she said. "Just make sure he dies and Bracken understands that it was the Raven."

He nodded. "Very good. I'll see you at dinner." He nodded and walked off with a light hearted whistle.

She stepped into the house and spied two servants mopping up the blood. She headed upstairs and as she passed them, she tore off her shirt and tossed it to the blood trailed floor. Her lacy black bra soon hung on the rail.

"I need a bath." She said to the two women, "Get undressed and bathe me."

She continued up the stairs as the maids looked at each other before bustling up the stairs after her, shedding their clothes as they went. Maria's screams had echoed through the house and everyone heard it. No one wanted to be next one to feed the roses.


End file.
